


Rest Here in My Arms

by Okaamichin14



Series: North Star [1]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Ahri needs to sleep, Akali is a bucketful of sunshine, Alternate Universe - K/DA (League of Legends), Character Study, Evelynn is a concerned best friend, F/F, Kai'Sa respecting emotional and physical boundaries, Kai'Sa tries to get her to rest, Mental Anguish, Monsters, Mutual Pining, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Racing thoughts, Sleep Deprivation, no beta we die like your inting teammates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 99,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okaamichin14/pseuds/Okaamichin14
Summary: As the leader of K/DA, Ahri is aware of the weight of the responsibility she carries. Shedding a couple of sleep to stay on top of everything is just a small sacrifice to make.She just has to make it until the MORE video is released. She just has to.
Relationships: Ahri/Kai'Sa (League of Legends), Akali/Evelynn (League of Legends)
Series: North Star [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128884
Comments: 205
Kudos: 613





	1. Early Risers

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a hot minute...
> 
> Thank you to @UmbreonGurl, @aurawra21 and everyone who made the Kahri tag on Twitter. I've been feeling feral for this ship and I knew I had to write something for them!
> 
> The work is referencing @gracepago0314 's art comic about Ahri passing out mid-practice and everyone is concerned!
> 
> This is mostly like a multi-chaptered story :)

Ahri, _the_ charismatic leader, main vocalist, one of two visuals of K/DA, was having a very, very busy day.

Maybe it was because MORE’s comeback demanded all her attention. 

The gumiho had woken up before the sun, already dressed for a simple day in the office. Black slacks and a loose button down shirt tucked neatly in the front. Her hair was pulled back into a lazy bun as she went about her normal morning routine. Her fox ears swiveled to hear the simple deep sighs and snores of her bandmates as her feet pattered quietly down the hall into her personal office at the back of the mansion. She noted that Kai’sa wasn’t awake yet either. Perhaps Ahri woke up a little too early. 

She muttered underneath her breath, there were more things to worry about. Kai’sa needed to focus on preparing the choreography, she should sleep more anyways. 

Ahri unlocked her office and strode in taking in the unsightly look of her desk. The lovely stacks of paper that beckoned her to spend nothing but hours and hours reading and signing. The gumiho knew that she had spent more time in the studio or in her office as of late. The gumiho pushes the thought aside. She was excited about the planning for MORE! The designs, the stage, the meetings with Yasuo and other collaborators were all the fun parts of the preparation process. And while paperwork is not always fun, it was important to get a headstart on it before it completely piled up. 

Evelynn, her best friend and co-founder of K/DA, to her credit had been helpful... however Ahri wanted to pick up the pace a little bit as the MORE release video was slated to air in a little over a month. She quietly delegated most of the paperwork to her desk and gave Evelynn mostly approvals. 

The gumiho trusted the resident demoness. Evelynn would surely never settle for anything less when it came to her girls. 

Blue eyes looked at the stacks of paper on her desk. There were three neatly stacked piles. Her ears flicked in annoyance, she knew that the stacks were merely to poise a narrative that it was just _only_ three stacks. There were _five more_ just hidden below her desk. But the rest of the K/DA girls wouldn’t dare snoop around her office. Ahri made it clear that it was to be off limits for her alone to focus on the business end of K/DA.

But she knew that while the three to four stacks of paper were primarily for K/DA, she still had paperwork somewhere, also stacked neatly away, for her other activities. 

Her Charmed perfume and FOXY cosmetic lines needed her attention as well. 

Maybe it was best not to think about it, because the stacks of paper seemed more daunting than usual. Her hand shouldn’t be feeling this tense either. She sat down and leaned back in her chair and rolled her wrist around a couple of times. The last thing she needs is to be scolded for having a bad wrist. Poor ergonomics was a silent killer in the industry. When she feels satisfied that she can grip her pen with renewed force, she continues reading and signing as she normally does in the mornings. Just much, much earlier in the morning. 

When she feels the morning sun heat her back slightly, Ahri knows that she has been reading and signing for quite some time. Her eyes scanned her calendar and she bit back a curse. Several red circles were marked along with angry scrawls of feral handwriting. Even angry doodles of a fox munching on a perfume bottle was a reminder that she had some important deadlines to complete soon. 

_‘Great. I forgot I had to prepare an ingredient list for FOXY cosmetics. And I need to find new fragrances for Charmed’s late release after this comeback._ ’

Feeling a dull throb behind her eyes, Ahri took a deep breath and willed the headache away.

“That would have to come later.” The singer muttered under her breath. 

“What’s coming later?”

Fox ears stood tall at the question. 

“B-bokkie!” Ahri said breathlessly, her hand went up to her chest. Her heart leapt to her throat a little bit.

Kai’Sa strolled in with her hands behind her back and with a shy smile on her lips. If it wasn’t for the racing thoughts in her mind, Ahri would have half the mind to compliment how beautiful she looks today. Or any day really. 

Softhearted. Kind. Ever so gentle Kai’Sa.

_‘Ahri focus!’_

Kai’Sa waited patiently for Ahri to get her bearings, before offering a smile. The gumiho sighed, gently patting the paper up and down so that the stack was aligned neatly before pushing it to the side. She reached for another stack, cracked her knuckles loudly and gave the taller woman a mildly annoyed look. “You know I don’t like it when I’m disturbed in the office. You were supposed to knock.”

Kai’Sa to her credit didn’t seem hurt from the slight jab. Her eyes shined like the moon and gave a gentle smile to the spooked leader.

“You missed breakfast. And I did knock.”

Ahri frowned and rubbed the back of her neck. _‘What's the point of having these fox ears if I can't even hear Kai’Sa walking in?'  
_

“Can you leave my food in the microwave? I’ll be down soon.” She forced herself to look away from those hopeful purple eyes. In her normal day to day, it was already hard enough to say no to Kai’Sa. Especially with that smile of hers. 

But she needed to get these affairs in order. The paperwork couldn’t wait another day. 

Kai’Sa smile then turned into a frown. Her broad shoulders slumping a bit. As if it was unheard of to berate her leader. 

“Ahri, it’s almost eleven in the morning. And we have dance practice at noon.” Kai’Sa added softly, trying to keep the conversation light and stern at the same time. “You need to eat, because this is supposed to be the clean up for the choreography before we invite Seraphine to join us.”

Ahri’s ears swiveled rapidly at the thought of Seraphine. Her mind raced with the other tasks that she had in store for the new songstress to be.

_‘I forgot that I need to send her an itinerary. She needs time to be able to pack. Would I need to contact her father as well? Do I need to speak with her landlord about her potential extended leave?’_

Her blue eyes again peeked at her calendar. Her tongue clicking in annoyance as she tried to find an open slot in her day to see if she can add some hours to dedicate to Seraphine. There was some time after dance practice today. It wouldn't be too late in the evening. No more than an hour or two.

_‘Surely I can fund her rent until she is ready to return to Los Angeles.’_

She also made a mental note to call her financial advisor to help with the funding. The last thing she wanted to worry about was Seraphine worrying about paying for a flight and an extended stay at the K/DA residence. 

_‘I need to get her plane tickets too. Would she need to fly First Class? I want her to be comfortable as well and I don’t know if I can trust the airline to abide by the standards of social distancing and cleanliness.’_

That wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t do at all. Ahri's eyes darkened at the thought of Seraphine having to deal with that kind of environment. What’s the point of all the money she made if she can’t use it to take care of their number one collaborator?

_‘Yes, I will fly her through First Class. I’ll call Manager-unnie or even Roy to arrange it for me.’_

She looked around the state of her office, noting that Kai’Sa was looking a little worried. Ahri will address her soon, she needs to get this mental note down. 

Her office was messy, but that also means the guest room is also messy. That needed to be sorted out. And quick. The timeline was getting shorter and shorter.

Did she write that down yet? Make a mental note, make a mental note.

_‘I need to prep her guest room. Oh wait- she has a cat, as well. I need to think about Bao’s transportation needs as well. There’s no way Seraphine would leave him behind. Okay, so that means cat food, cat toys, a bed…maybe a scratching post?’_

Snapping fingers got her attention, and Ahri forced herself to swallow down a growl. Her lips curled in a slight grimace.

“I’m not a dog. There’s no need to snap your fingers at me like that.” Ahri’s eyes narrowed.

Kai’Sa had her hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m only trying to catch your attention...and I’m trying to respect your personal space.”

The dancer took a deep breath and gently reached to cup Ahri’s hand in her own. Her thumb rubbing soothing circles against Ahri’s palm. Almost like a soft apology. The gumiho felt the tension release a little yet she didn’t pull her hand away. 

“You don’t like it when anyone touches you when you space out.” The dance said simply and patiently. She tugged Ahri’s hand gently, urging her leader to come down to eat. "Please keep me company for breakfast at least? For me?"

Ahri reluctantly stood and felt the room fade out a little bit. Surely it’s because she didn’t have her daily caffeine yet. Or maybe she did...she doesn’t remember much.

“Okay Bokkie. I’m coming…”

Kai’Sa seemed satisfied with the answer, looped her arms around Ahri’s and guided out of the office.


	2. Just One More Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri has a lot of things to think about. Evelynn, Kai'Sa and Akali think about their leader's odd behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to span for a couple of days/weeks up until the comic strip hits :D
> 
> So at least it’s a progression of Ahri’s mental and physical state before the complete collapse.

“You didn’t need to watch me you know.” Ahri said wryly as a plate of egg whites, some spinach and rice was placed in front of her. Beside the plate was a glass of cold water and hot cup of green tea.

“Just making sure.”

“I’ll be fine.” The dancer hummed but wasn’t convinced. Ahri looked over her shoulder to see that Evelynn and Akali weren’t present either. “I thought I was supposed to keep you company while you eat.”

“I _already_ ate, it’s _you_ who haven’t.”

Feeling more ashamed, Ahri ate slowly. But she really wasn’t hungry. What she needed was to finish today’s tasks and then go back to her office to finish the paperwork. 

And then plan a meeting with FOXY and Charmed. Plan a meeting with DJ Yasuo and perhaps Pentakill’s Sona Buvelle. Akali mentioned that those two had some serious expertise when it came to creating the _perfect_ sound. The rogue merely gave a rough go about it and made a barely put together beat. It was rough but definitely needed more polish.

She couldn't forget all the other mental notes that she had for Seraphine. 

“Where’s Evelynn and Akali?”

Kai’Sa waved her hand over her shoulder, “I sent them off ahead of me. I gave Eve my keys to open the studio and of course she dragged Rogue with her. Otherwise, our maknae would sleep past noon.”

Purple eyes wandered on Ahri’s form; she looked like some lost kit, toying with her food.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Ahri mumbled as she pushed her eggs whites around, “Just a full schedule today. How long is dance practice?”

It was a half-truth. It was a full schedule. A full schedule that could've stretched over the course for a couple of days. But time wasn’t on her side. Too many loose ends that needed to be closed as soon as possible.

Kai’Sa pursed her lips, as if trying to phrase her words carefully. “At least till the evening... there will be breaks of course. I’m not going to run you dry.”

“Can I leave after the third hour? There’s something that needs my attention.”

“We’re going to be covering a lot of material today Ahri. I’m not saying no, but I’m asking for more of your time today. I know that we talked about it. You do struggle the most with positioning and you’re our center for K/DA.” Kai’Sa reasoned.

Ahri’s fangs bit her lip, not liking the half-rejection. “Arraseo.”

“Patience for me today okay Foxy?” Kai’Sa reached over and gave Ahri’s hand a small squeeze. Hoping it was okay to do so.

When Ahri squeezes back weakly, Kai’Sa smiles. It’s more than what she deserves at this moment. The gumiho, feeling bold, kissed the back of her hand. She let her lips linger longer, feeling the dancer’s hand tremble a little bit before pulling away.

“Anything for you.” Ahri replied quietly. And she did mean it.

They stayed like that, hands loosely interlaced, while Ahri sifted through her food. Kai’sa eventually had to leave to go get changed. She cited that they would be driving together, so that Ahri can’t escape to wander off back to her office before practice. 

Ahri pushed her plate away with only barely eating five bites. She eyed the rubbish bin, but she couldn’t find the will to toss such a heartfelt breakfast. Kai’Sa never, _never_ makes a bad meal. Even her experimentations tasted divine. 

Her insides felt strangled at the thought of swallowing food.

_‘It’s just for today. The pain is just for today.’_ Ahri thought.

She drank water and black coffee at least to fill her stomach before clearing the table. Her untouched food was neatly wrapped with plastic wrap and stowed away in the fridge. 

Another mental note. ‘ _Finish food later at dinner at least. Maybe take a granola bar at least.’_

Back in her bedroom, Ahri dressed in baggy sweatpants and a crop top and went to lightly add makeup to her face. 

She stared at the mirror and winced a little at her appearance. Has her face gotten more sullen in the past couple of days?

There were dark circles beneath her eyes, despite her normal 15-step night time routine. Her lips were chapped, and her ears looked droopier than usual. Her eyes were slightly irritated with the blue contacts that she put in so early in the morning. As much as she loved her natural golden orbs, she might scare someone today. 

After her routine, she started a slow stretch to release the tension in her lower back. Then she doubled over and she stifled a sharp cry. Her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch which continued for several seconds before finally settling. 

_‘Great, just one more thing to deal with.’_

She couldn’t get sick now, not with a lot of things on the schedule. She seriously would deal with it later, there’s no need to sing to the choir about her health to Evelynn or Akali or Kai’Sa.

Especially Kai’Sa. 

Ears flattened at the thought of making the dancer worried. She was always sensitive to those around her, and for reasons unknown, Kai’Sa was honing in to all of Ahri’s strange actions today of all days. 

A small whine escaped without her meaning to. 

There’s just a lot to do. And she’s worried that there won’t be enough time in the month to get it all done. 

She will apologize to Bokkie after. She swears by it.

_Ping! Ping!_

Her phone vibrated against her pocket. She pulled out her phone to see multiple notifications from her KakaoTalk App. 

It was her investors. For both Charmed and FOXY. They were demanding action from her and it looks like it couldn’t wait. 

Her heart sank to her stomach. The lurching feeling and nausea was back two-fold. 

_‘Just one more thing…’_

She needed to get dressed quickly to keep Bokkie from waiting. And then while she waits, she’ll see if she can address these concerns quickly. 

The thought of making phone calls to potentially angry investors made her shoulders tense. She shouldn’t call them yet. It would only get her upset and she can already feel her annoyance and panic rising with the morning sun. 

Ahri raised the cold glass of water that was left untouched on the dining table. She gingerly lifted it noting how her right hand shook a little with her light grip. The paper signing was getting to her muscles a bit. She needed to rectify that. But much, much later. Another mental note she needs to keep in her head. 

She pressed the glass to her left temple, sighing a little as the chill cooled her headache. 

“Fuck…”

What was she going to do now?

xxx

“I don’t know Eve...Something is going on with Ahri…” Kai’Sa whispered into the cell phone. She was currently stretching in her bedroom, giving the gumiho some time to get ready.

It was already 11:45 A.M, and the studio was less than ten minutes away. While she is a person that likes to be timely, the dancer figured it would be best to be a little bit more languid especially at the more tensed state Ahri’s in. She had to be careful though, Ahri’s hearing is normally impeccable. Hushed conversations usually don’t go unnoticed. At least the gumiho had some decency to not listen in to more intimate and private conversations. But this conversation may warrant her attention.There was an annoyed sigh from the other line. But the dancer knew that Evelynn was listening with full attention.

**“What did Foxy do now?”**

“She has this glassy look on her face. She’s growly and-and her office is filled with paperwork!” Kai’Sa trying to keep her rant from reaching a screech. 

There was a long pause.

**“Bokkie...how many stacks of paper were there?”**

Another long pause as she tried to remember exactly how much paperwork was in there. Walking into Ahri’s office was already a foreign concept. It was Ahri’s personal space away from anyone, much like Akali taking long bike rides alongside the coast line of the Han River, Evelynn’s tinkering on her many, many muscle cares in the garage, and her own dance studio built within her room. 

When she walked in earlier that morning she noticed that Ahri was signing quickly and her eyes rapidly reading the stacks of paper in front of her. But with her experience with the human body err general body parts, she can tell that Ahri’s right hand was slightly shaky whenever she switched between documents. Her movements that usually had this usual graceful flair to it. But now it was jerky and awkwardly slow. 

Normally when Kai’Sa passes by her office on any other given day, she could hear Ahri humming some old Korean folk song or whatever is popular on Melon. Instead she heard deep sighs and an occasional swear underneath her breath.

Right she was to think about how many stacks of paper that was on her desk. Three stacks of paper...just about 9 inches high. 

_‘Damn South Korea and their need to have a lot of paper backlogs.’_ Kai’sa thought angrily, squeezing the phone in her hand tightly.

“I think three?”

**“Are you sure? What about her calendar did you see?”**

Kai’Sa groaned and covered her eyes with her free hand. “You know I’m not supposed to snoop. It was like the one thing she asked of us. It’s to not snoop around her office or go anywhere near it unless we desperately needed something from her. But no...other than the stacks I didn’t see her calendar.”

A dark chuckle could be heard over the phone in jest.

**“Darling, this** **_is something desperate_ ** **that we need from her.”**

And then the tone got serious.

**“Later tonight, I’ll take a look into the office later after practice so you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it. Ahri has fangs but so do I.”**

“Eve…I just don’t want to violate her trust.” Kai’Sa whined, feeling a little teary at the thought of Ahri pulling away from them. From her. 

**“And I don’t want her grouchiness to mess with the rest of the group.”** Evelynn reasoned simply. 

“...Okay. But how would you get in? Her office is always locked. This one time it wasn’t locked... I think she forgot.”

**“Did you forget that I’m currently dating a ninja?”**

Kai’Sa frowned.

**“Don’t frown darling.”** Evelynn tittered as if she was in the same room with Kai’Sa. **“I always had a spare key. I’m also the co-homeowner of the mansion. Ahri forgets that. I have spare keys to every room in the house just for emergencies.”**

“Thank you Eve.”

**“Alright, and pucker up darling. It’ll work itself out, I promise. Go ahead and get Ahri and we’ll see you at the studio.”**

“Okay…”

_Click!_

xxx

Akali looked at Evelynn with one eye open, as she slouched on the passenger seat. They were parked in front of the studio, waiting patiently for the other bandmates to arrive. 

“Evie...was something wrong?”

The demoness reached over and held Akali’s hand gently over the console. Evelynn was silent for a brief moment. Before she muttered quietly enough for her rogue to hear, “I hope not…”

“Is it about Ahri?”

Evelynn looked away from Akali to stare out the window. And then after sometime, the demoness gave a short nod. 

Of course she was going to worry over this. Ahri was never the type to really slip into this type of manic work schedule. Maybe it was her memory, there were simply too many memories that could explain her behavior. 

They both shared a fair amount of volatile emotions that had some serious, messy repercussions that still at times linger in their minds. Even with Akali by her side, it was going to take more time for her ninja lover to heal some of those wounds.

Behind all the snark and the literal cat-fights under ruffled tails and flapping lashers, Evelynn deeply cares for Ahri in ways that the world can never understand.Their mutual existence as demons should’ve made it impossible to co-exist, much less co-inhabit the same mansion. But somehow their budding friendship had endured even the longest reigning empires. 

The general public of South Korea couldn’t comprehend Evelynn and Ahri’s “complicated” friendship. It really wasn’t that complicated. It was the narrative that the media loved to spin over and over and over. 

The Siren. Bad Girl Extraordinaire. Evelynn. South Korean’s National Sweetheart. Ahri. 

Always at odds, chasing each other for the top spot in people’s hearts.

Evelynn chuckled. At some point the succubus remembered that she actually did chase after Ahri’s tails for at least a decade over something that was so trivial now. Perhaps over a man or a woman that they fed from. 

Regardless, these two rivaling personalities somehow managed to make the next big-hit girl group that South Korea had seen in years. It was surprising to the world, but it was like coming home to the two monster girls. At some point Evelynn and Ahri would fall into each other’s orbit. It was less biting and scratching and more bickering and sharp insults. They were past their feral days and are relatively calm in light of the new modern world. 

But Evelynn stands by her early comments in several interviews regarding her relationship with Ahri.

**_“It is always a privilege to work by her side. And I will always trust Ahri’s vision for K/DA.”_ **

“We’ll always look out for her!” Akali said simply, squeezing the clawed hand back. “Let’s be patient with her. I trust Ahri.”

Evelynn looked over to her lover and sighed happily, “Of course sweetheart. I trust her too. Come on now. Let’s at least set up the music so it’s ready for when they get here.”

“Can I play Nyan Cat just to piss Kai’Sa off?”

“Darling, you’re going to _piss_ me off if you play that.”

A laugh could be heard across the street if anyone was listening.

  
  


xxx

_Knock! Knock!_

“Ahri you ready?”

“Yes...Bokkie.” A very, very flat reply.

The dancer knocked gently, and was relieved to see that Ahri was patiently waiting for her at the foot of her bed.

Yet she was tapping away on her phone, her eyes moving rapidly what Kai’Sa believes is multiple tabs that she is sifting through. Her crystal tail flickering back and forth but it was pointed upward as if ready to scratch. Ahri was growling a little bit, her fang poking out. Her ears flat against her head with displeasure. 

_‘Definitely not normal.’_ Kai’Sa notes. ‘ _Who could be getting under her skin this easily?’_

“Trying to finish last minute stuff?” Kai’Sa asked politely, trying to hide away her tone of displeasure.

Ahri had the decency to look a little guilty, she stowed the phone away in her back pocket and rose to her full height. Kai’Sa received a charming smile that looked all too-normal if it wasn’t for the fading light in her leader’s eyes. 

“I can...let it wait. I was getting a little too frustrated.”

The dancer perked up at the admission, it would have to do for now she reasoned. 

“Alright Foxy. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone spot any particular patterns? :D
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	3. Scented Grapefuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going to span for a couple of days up until the comic strip hits :D
> 
> So at least it’s a progression of Ahri’s mental and physical state before the complete collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @kokorei for setting the standard for general K/DA chatfic set up!

Kai’Sa and Ahri parked smoothly next to Evelynn’s car. AHri remained mostly quiet, but to her word Ahri’s phone was left on silent for the whole ride. 

She wanted to reach over and hold her hand, but with Ahri spacing gout, lest she wanted a negative reaction to an unwarranted touch.

Thankfully Ahri slipped out of the car easily and hefted her dance bag over her shoulder and strode in. Kai’Sa gingerly followed behind her, eyes scanning Ahri’s figure with worry.

_‘We definitely need to talk about this later…’_

The dancer was pleased to see that through the window, Evelynn and Akali had already started their stretches and were casually giving over their old POP/STARS choreo. It was an easy warm-up but surely the memory of the dance was still fresh in their minds. 

Kai’Sa urged Ahri to do a quick warm up, enough to warm up the blood but not enough to get too winded.

The dancer turned to the stereo and fumbled with the settings. While she was the most experienced dancer in the group, she knew that choreography in general was definitely harder for her other members. Evelynn and Ahri were vocalists, not dancers to begin with. And that is not including their extra appendages that make an appearance every so often. There had been earlier fumbles that involved pinched lashers and tails smacking each other, so more spacing was required for four members. She adjusted the dance to fit their body types because there is something alluring about having lashers and extra sets of tails flitting about the room. 

And Akali, while surprisingly new to dancing in the beginning, picked it up after several late night sessions especially for POP/STARS. Needless to say Akali soon became the next natural dancer in the group. There’s just something in Akali’s energy that makes the choreography more fun to learn and she is thankfully for her addition to the group. 

The others on the other hand Kai’Sa urged them to be more explosive with this new choreography. It’s going to require more dynamic movement, formation changes and fluidity. Hence her reasoning for spending a majority of their afternoon getting the harder parts out. 

And then reward everyone later with some nice Sichuan hot pot to soothe the aches and pains. 

A good incentive.

Even enough for Ahri to stick around Kai’Sa hopes, as she herself prepares for a long day of teaching. 

She eyed Evelyn from her side of the dance room and the demoness gave her a short nod. 

They will get to Ahri somehow. It will work out. 

It has to. 

  
  
  


xxx

  
  
  
  


Akali bounded next to Ahri who was slowly circling her arms to get the full stretch of her limbs. 

“Unnie!”

Ahri turned mid-swing and gave a soft smile to her maknae, “Hi Rogue, you’re actually full of energy today!”

“I didn’t get to do my morning greetings, I keep sleeping in.” Akali said sheepishly, slipping to Korean and pulling the brim of her hat over her eyes. Akali hates to admit it, but sometimes when Ahri smiles she gets charmed by it. Literally. 

It’s not like Evelynn. It’s always different with Evelynn. Evelynn enveloped her soul and it was deep seated in her veins like a warm salve.

But with Ahri it’s like...it’s like watching the sun coming over the horizon. It’s so warm. And there was something so achingly beautiful about it.

“Kali, you realllly got to stop watching those streamers you love so much. You need the rest. And you know you don’t have to always call me unnie.” Ahri chided as she felt her shoulder pop. 

“Nope! I like them all too much and you paid for the internet hehe!" The maknae sheepishly nudged Ahri's white shoes with her own boot, "And as for you unnie, you should know that I have to respect my elders.”

Ahri rolled her eyes and swatted Akali playfully at the hip. “You do realize your dear Eve is older than me right?”

Akali grinned and cheekily added, “I think she likes me doing all the work. You know bad for her back if ya know what I mean. “

Ahri groaned, cringing at the thought of her two friends shagging each other. They could do whatever they want. She really doesn’t mind. But after knowing and _hearing_ Evelyn for centuries there’s no need to hear about more sexcapades. 

“Aigoo. Waaaaay too much information Rogue.” 

“It is what it isssss!” 

When the laughter died, the gumiho realized that Akali wasn’t quite done with speaking. 

“And maybe later we can all eat dinner with Bokkie and Eve to celebrate a hard day’s work?” Akali asked nervously, her hands were digging into her sweatpants, curling slightly in worry. She did overhear a little bit of Kai’Sa’s and Evelynn’s conversation. Akali couldn’t help it. It was weird to see Evelynn looking so worried over Ahri. 

The two older women spent a majority of their time, centuries as Evelynn puts it, "playfully bickering", or just having some one-liner snarks at each other across the dance floor and their mansion. Really, like a bickering married couple. 

Akali was the youngest, which meant that she could get away with a lot of things. She was sure she caught Ahri’s golden or blue eyes looking away whenever she accidentally stuck a kunai at the wall and it left a hole. And by the end of the week, the hole in the wall “mysteriously” disappears. 

Or that she could bother Ahri (unless she was in her office then it’s a complete no-no) anywhere and everywhere. The leader could be lounging on the sofa, reading a fashion magazine and the Rogue would shove a Nerf gun in her hands to start a Nerf war.

Needless to say, there was a lot of post-clean up afterward but Akali could’ve forget the playful gleam in Ahri’s eyes whenever mischief was involved. 

The rogue picks on her leader because she wants her to have fun and not holed up in the office like she has been doing lately. Ahri deserves to have fun too.

She wanted her family to be happy and healthy. And most importantly, all together. 

Ahri’s smile faltered a little, at the sight of Akali’s pleading look. There was just too much on her plate right now. And she wasn’t sure if she could stomach whatever Kai’Sa cooks later tonight. A small rejection would have to do. A half-life. She will make it up to Akali later, with some bad video-games or maybe a bad movie on a free day.

She gave an encouraging squeeze to Akali’s shoulder before smoothly turning around to finish her stretches. 

“Unnie might have some things to take care of first. But I’ll try to get it done as fast as I can okay?”

Akali didn’t seem all too pleased, but now wasn’t the time to whine. “Arraseoyo…”

“Alright girls. Ready? Let’s start at 50% speed!” Kai’Sa called out. 

  
  
  
  


xxx

  
  
  
  


The feel of the bass pounded against the walls of the practice room. Everyone shuffled to their positions to get ready for the first verse and up to the chorus. That was the goal for today. The music draft that they were going for was still in the early stages. Ahri had decided to gather the dance together first before establishing any other embellishments on the vocals.

It was the rough audio of everyone’s voices. It wasn’t perfect. It was pitchy, airy and a little flat in various places. But it was just enough to get the road map down for their choreography. Evelynn grumbles whenever her part appears for the 15th time, her voice squeaks out. But she knows that she can always improve when her voice is properly rested. 

Either way, it was going to get worked again later when the meetings with Yasuo finally went through. That wouldn’t happen for at least another week or two, or at least till Seraphine arrives. 

_‘Another mental note.’_ Ahri needed to seriously start writing this down.

  
  


**_Go get it, go get it, go get it, the mission_ **

**_눈을못떼 모두 그래 너도 그래 (oh-oh-ooh)_ **

**_'Cause I got it different_ **

  
  


The rapid punches and hip twisting got her head spinning a bit. She forced herself to stare at the wall with unwavering concentration. 

Akali was giving small whoops with every beat that she hit on time and the energy was infectious. She could hear Kai’Sa and Evelynn trying not to giggle at the display. Yet everyone was feeding off of that energy. Everyone was getting into it! 

The gumiho twisted her hands and feet, adding power to her moves to meet Akali’s fiery rap. Her position in the formation had her placed behind Kai’Sa who of course was giving her all. Ahri had to smile a little bit at the thought. 

Bokkie was always passionate about dancing, and even in practice she gave her full effort. So Ahri must do so as well. She didn’t want to let her down. 

  
  


**_All I'll ever know is life up on a throne_ **

**_시 작 하 면 끝을 보는 거야_ **

**_You want…_ **

  
  


She slinked and moved fluidly as the formation changed to give Evelynn and herself the center of the room. Evelynn was slightly out of breath as she sang her lines. It wasn’t as deep and sultry as she would normally sound in the studio. Ahri remembers that after several more days of practice Evelynn’s voice will be impeccable. And she will have all of her Deevas and BLADES at her feet.

Ahri chose this time not to sing her lines, and focused her efforts on practicing her stage presence with her smiles. But when she looked at the mirror it wasn’t filled with the natural smirk she was going for. 

That was frustrating. She kept her eyes trained to her posture instead. She needed to get this part right at least. 

  
  


**_MORE!_ **

**_Know I got it, so here you go (let's go)_ **

**_You look like you could use some more (more)_ **

**_Know I got it and never runnin' low (low)_ **

  
  


The following movements had been tight and sharp, and Ahri cursed when she found herself several beats late. Kai’Sa made no mention to cut the music, so the gumiho just did her best to follow up on the next few lines. 

  
  


**_Yeah, I got more than enough, add it up and away (ayy, ayy)_ **

**_You know I got it like bomb-bomb, blow your mind_ **

**_Never givin' less and that's how it'll stay (ayy, ayy)_ **

**_You know I got it like all day, all the time_ **

  
  


When the last beat dropped, Ahri could barely feel her limbs. She forced herself to stay upright, her tail acting as a counterweight, while Akali flopped on the ground face first. Evelynn slumped down, grumpily yanking off her heels and tossing them over her shoulder.

“100% speed and I’m pooped!” The maknae squirmed in her position on the floor. She wiggled and crawled her way to her duffle bag like some weird worm.

“Seriously Bokkie you’ve really outdone yourself, but I can’t feel my feet!” Evelynn whined, rubbing the soles of her feet.

Kai’Sa wiped the sweat off her brow, her abs flexing slightly at the exertion she put her members through.

“Eve! I did tell you that dancing in heels has to wait until we get the steps down.”

Evelynn stared at her feet like it committed crimes against her succubi nature and snarked back at the dancer,“I’m trying to kill two birds with one stone darling, and I want to look good doing it.”

Rolling her eyes playfully at the Siren who just gave her kissy faces in reply, she looked over to Ahri who has yet to say a word about the choreography. The gumiho did a quick run down of the last few lines of the song, but it wasn’t that pretty. 

She was right, Ahri does take a while to learn her placements in choreography. She could see that her tail was not swishing back and forth with energy. Instead it laid limpy near her ankles, almost tripping the gumiho, whenever there was quick footwork involved. 

Thankfully Evelynn and Akali were too busy guzzling water to notice. But Kai’Sa will always notice. Butt rather than let the silence fester, she instead decided to speak.

“Alright a 15 minute break! Grab a snack and then back here again.” Kai’Sa clapped and dismissed them.

Ahri shuffled toward her duffle bag to bring out a water bottle. She drank greedily feeling more drained than usual. Who would’ve thought that hip thrusting would take so much work. 

“Are you coming to dinner later tonight?”

Ahri ears flattened slightly at the flat tone.

“Evelynn…” She warned with thinning patience. “I told Kali that I’m just...a little busy right now.”

A dragged sigh, Ahri could hear Evelynn crossing her arms in displeasure. 

“Foxy...I’m just- I can help with more of the workload.” Evelynn said awkwardly. Words were never really her strong suit. At least not with Ahri. “I’m supposed to be your number two. Let me take some of the load.”

“I got it handled Evelynn.”

Evelynn raised a finely arched brow, “And after a millennia I know you're hiding something. Look at me Ahri, let me help lighten the load.”

Ahri stowed the water bottle away and turned to Evelynn, hoping to end the conversation on her terms. She stopped mid-turn when she saw glowing sparks form the edges of her eyes. 

_‘Shit…I-I can’t see…’’_

She finished her turned slowly trying to reorient her vision to Evelynn’s penetrating stare. She wasn't sure if she was standing straight, but she clenched her hands into tight fists to keep her balance.

“...정신.”

Evelynn’s eyes widened, her mouth dropped open. 

She hadn’t heard that word in six decades. 

_Spirit._

  
  


They made a vow. If Ahri and Evelynn ever said their word of choice, all conversations had to stop. 

Space and time was absolutely needed and it was not to be brought up again unless the person who uttered their safe word began the conversation again. And now it was absolutely clear that Evelynn, the Diva herself, couldn’t press Ahri to speak more about her feelings. 

While unhappy that Ahri chose to use her safeword, the succubus was a woman of her word. She plastered a look of complete neutrality and languidly reached up to tuck a loose, sweaty strand away from Ahri’s forehead.

“Alright Foxy…”

She turned on heel to walk back to Kai’Sa and Akali. 

“This isn’t over. We _will_ talk about this another time.” Evelynn warned underneath her breath. From the mirror and catching vulpine ears swiveling, the singer knew that Ahri heard her.

xxx

**Some hours later...**

**“Ms. Ahri, surely you know that these deadlines are important. It is unlike you to be tardy.”**

Over Zoom, a standing Ahri folded her hands neatly over her stomach and did a full bow. Keeping her ears flat and her tail curled around her ankles to show her sincerity. 

Her heart raced, she couldn’t believe she missed an important deadline. She thought that she had more time. 

“I’m sincerely sorry about Choi-sunbaenim. I do have a list ready for you. It is merely shifting around in my office.”

She did not in fact have a list to hand over. 

**“I can give you an extension Ms. Ahri. It’s really not that big of a deal, I just needed to get your attention that’s all. I’ve heard rumours that your promotions are coming soon. I want to give you a good amount of time to think about the quality of your next products for the winter.”**

Ahri breathed a sigh of relief, she bowed again to show her thanks. 

“Of course, I understand perhaps we can speak about it on another day.” The gumiho agreed, but she wanted to crawl into the floor and cry at this fumble. She forced her voice to go steady as she thanked her investor over and over. 

**“I have an opening perhaps a week or two after your promotions.”**

“Does this mean you’re pulling out Choi-sunbaenim?” 

**“I would never!”** Choi Jaemin threw back her head and laughed. **“Perish the thought! You are my favourite creator. I just didn’t want to add to many things on your plate. And my five year old son looks forward to your comeback!”**

Ears perked up at the thought of another fan who was expecting great things. Hopefully the comeback can inspire him to do tremendous things in the future. She smiled, her tail now swishing happily behind her. 

“I’m truly blessed with your support. And I’ll keep that in mind for Joohyung-ah. Choi-sunbaenim thank you again.”

**“Till then Ahri! K/DA fighting!”**

_Click!_

She sank back into her chair, running her hands down her face. 

Exhaustion was slipping into her veins and she wanted to sleep but there are more things to do. 

Dance practice true to Kai’Sa’s word lasted till the sun had set. Ahri pleaded the dancer to drive her straight home so that she had time to take a quick bath. No...she needed shower. Showers were faster. The Foxy investor wanted a meeting with her by the next two hours and Ahri had to prepare something anything to explain the lack of progress with her product line. 

The dancer was calm and understanding and drove home smoothly but not breaking speed limits like Evelynn. 

Soon after she got home, she was in and out and then bam the meeting had begun. And now that was over, she wasn’t sure what to do next. 

Perhaps finally give a call to Seraphine? No wait that wouldn’t do. It’s already evening in the United States. It wouldn’t be proper to wake the younger woman this early. She would have to call in the morning at 4 or 5 in the morning. 

  
  


She clicked her tongue in displeasure but as one the eldest members of K/DA it would be best to look after the younger ones. 

Ahri could’ve asked Evelynn, but she knew that Evelynn had changed her sleeping habits to match with Akali’s. Now the pair of them liked to lounge together till noon. 

Her hands drummed her desk as she tried to figure out what would be the best way to go about it. If she delayed it could mean travel could be more restricted and it would be near impossible to move Bao and Seraphine to South Korea. 

She eyed the clock 9:17 P.M KST, she should get some sleep. Or maybe some tea. Did she eat?

Ahri couldn’t remember. Not with the many mental notes she kept in her head. 

“Sounds like your meeting went well.”

Ahri swiveled in her chair to see Kai’Sa leaning against the door with her hands crossed her chest. 

_‘Have I been forgetting to lock my door?’_

Little did Ahri know, Kai’Sa was given the spare key. Courtesy of Evelynn. _‘Someone’s gotta keep an eye on Foxy for me.’_

“Kai’Sa…” she warned, her fangs bared slightly. 

Again the dancer had her hand up in surrender, seeing Ahri’s mood shift quickly. “I know, I know. The office is your personal space. It’s the rule, and only rule that you have.”

Ahri, despite her annoyance, gave her a playful pout. She smoothed out her collared shirt, and ran her hands through her hair. Her tongue clicking against when her fingers found a small knot. 

“And I thought Akali is the type to break rules in this household. Not you.”

The dancer shrugged, seeing that she wasn’t going to be thrown about the room, walked closer to Ahri, “Maknae is rubbing off on me.”

“Don’t let Evelynn catch you saying that out loud.” Ahri said wryly. 

“I can round circles on her anyday Foxy. It’ll take her several centuries to catch up.” Kai’Sa said dismissively with a wave of her hand.

Ahri couldn’t help but bark out a laugh, “ _Definitely_ , don’t let Evelynn hear that.”

_Ping! Ping!_

They both opened their group messenger, laughing at the sender.

  
  
  


**In group chat “K/DA”...**

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** i heard that kai’slop. i know where you sleep.

  
  


**Kai’Sa:** bite me grandma! **@Ahri** you’ll protect me right? :3

  
  


**Ahri:** nyo!~

  
  


**Akali:** awh don’t be like that ahri! I can’t even hold back Evelynn! She’s too powerful!

  
  


**Ahri:** didnt you just tell me the other day that and i quote, ‘I think she likes me doing all the work. 

You know bad for her back if ya know what I mean. ‘

  
  


**Akali:** HAUWNDJEVDJWNDKENNCNWKDWVDKE

  
  


**Kai’Sa:** Oh my…

  
  


**Kai’Sa:** …

  
  


**Kai’Sa:** Eve?

  
  
  


Loud shrieks were heard at the house causing the pair to turn to face the hallway. There was heavy thumping and they quickly caught sight of Akali sprinting down the hall full send. And then as she just passed, there was a blur of shadows that soon followed with an sinister laugh. 

A crash was heard and Kai’Sa mumbled something about shagging in the kitchen and then some more laughing and then it slipped into some moaning. And then the door slamming. 

Ahri’s ears swiveled some more and then her cheeks turned a cute pink hue, but Kai’Sa couldn’t hear a thing. _‘Oh right...fox hearing. She can still hear them.’_

Ahri cleared her throat, her cheeks flushed a pink hue and turned to Kai’Sa once more. “Right, Kai’Sa what were you saying?”

The dancer took a bold step and leaned on the edge of Ahri’s desk, purple eyes peering down on now golden orbs.

_‘She took off her contacts. It’s been forever since I’ve seen her golden eyes…angry, tired, sad or happy, those eyes of hers are so pretty…’_

Surely she was staring.

“So you think my eyes are pretty?”

Ahri had a smug look on her face, her lips curled to her normal charming smile when she heard a compliment from her fans. 

_‘I don’t want that smile that she gives to her fans. I want her smile to be different just for me.’_

The symbiote behind her purred in agreement.

Kai’Sa didn’t have it in her to feel embarrassed, she shrugged and kept an easy going smile on her face, “Always Foxy.”

Ahri chuckled before reaching over to flit over something on her phone once more. The light atmosphere around the pair faded once more, the more that Ahri stared at her phone. Frustration was brewing on her brow again, forgetting once more that Kai’Sa was still present in her office. 

“It worked out. Thankfully?” Kai’Sa pressed gently, eager to keep the conversation going.

Ahri jumped up slightly, spooked. And then she got her bearings and appraised the dancer once more. And then she slumped in her seat slightly. 

“Oh right...the meeting went surprisingly well. But the deadline he gave me was too generous. I have some things here that I’ll send in a bit when the grammatical errors are addressed. But that’s just for FOXY. I still need to deal with other stuff.”

Kai’Sa slowly reached up to cup Ahri’s hand that was still holding the cellphone. Ahri grip loosened as Kai’Sa wiggled the phone out of her grip.

She placed the phone face down away from Ahri’s reach. Purple eyes looked up to see golden eyes both relieved and frustrated. 

“When’s the last time you got a good night's sleep and when you’re not awake before me?” Kai’Sa whispered. “And you barely ate what I’ve made for you…”

The gumiho didn't respond, choosing to bite her lip in response. 

A few long seconds later, Ahri sighed, reaching over Kai’Sa to grab her phone again. She caught a whiff of the dancer's natural scent and her eyes fluttered closed for a moment. Grapefruits. Ahri’s favourite fruit. Mental note: maybe Kai’Sa had changed her preference for peaches to grapefruits. 

True to her gumiho nature wanted to run her nose against Kai’Sa’s skin just so that she could get closer to the source. She pulled back maybe a little slower than she intended to linger. She gave an apologetic look to the taller woman, her ears flattening slight while her tail swished limply behind her. 

“Sorry Bokkie...I’m not quite done yet. I need to call Roy and Manager-unnie and give Seraphine a call about the next couple of days.”

“Ahri…” Hearing her own name in a tired and exasperated tone sent daggers to her heart. She hates, _hates_ disappointing her dancer.

The gumiho with her own hand, cupped Kai’Sa’s cheek with a tenderness that she didn’t know she had. Her thumb rubbed soothingly against the skin to loosen up the tension she could feel in her the dancer’s jaw. 

“Just give me some time. After that, I’m all yours.”

When the silence dragged, Ahri's voice was soft with a hint of a whine. "Please Kai'Sa."

Kai’Sa shivered at the intense gaze and turned her eyes away. Her frown turned into a small pout. 

“No phones?”

Ahri gave a weak smile, “I’ll leave it locked here.”

“And I hold the key?”

Ahri hummed, keeping the rhythm of her thumb on that sharp jawline. She swallowed a purr when she sees Kai'Sa leaning into her hand, loving the affectionate touch.

“Okay...Foxy.”

And that was the signal to drop the topic for now and to give her leader the space she is asking for. Kai'Sa walked to the door with Ahri trailing behind her. When she finally left the doorway, she looked over her shoulder to give a reassuring smile to Ahri. Only catch sight of a panicked Ahri slamming the door in her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon: I really, really love leader-maknae interactions :D  
> Asscanon: If Ahri is the big sister to everyone else, Evelynn is THAT big sister to Ahri and no one else.


	4. So Like Prague?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri and Seraphine iron out a couple of details. Evelynn, Akali and Kai'Sa discuss reciprocity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotional boundaries between platonic and romantic relationships are super important :)
> 
> And my Ahri is more canonically Korean. It’s just my vibe ya know?

After quite literally slamming the door on Kai’Sa and everything surrounding Kai’Sa feelings and all, Ahri spent the night tossing and turning in her bed. Her thoughts were plagued by the look on Kai’Sa’s face and the looming tasks that she had yet to complete.

  * ~~Call Choi-sunbaenim for FOXY~~
  * Call Crownguard-ssi for Charmed
  * Call Seraphine to prep for the move to Seoul
  * Call Roy and Manager-unnie
  * Visit Yasuo and Sona if they are available at their studios.



Pushing thoughts of Kai’Sa aside, she sat up and rubbed her eyes in frustration. 

“What even is the time right now?”

She eyed her clock. The red numbers read: **_5:41 A.M KST._ **

_‘No point sleeping in. I’m already awake.’_

Thankfully the majority of the people on her mental call list are from South Korea, so it would be quite easy to reach them when the time was more available.

There was only one person right now who would appreciate a morning call from her. 

She sat up, and attempted to stand and noted the sudden weakness in her legs. 

_‘What a perfect time to be sore…’_ Ahri lamented. _‘I just feel more tired because of practice. A cup of coffee will help.’_

Ahri needed to be presentable for the day. She went to her wardrobe and pulled up a simple cream turtleneck to fight against the early morning chill and her most comfortable pair of leggings. 

When she opened her bedroom door, her ears swiveled to hear for Kai’Sa incase she was awake. Once again, she could hear the low rumbles of a snore and deep breathing from all three of her bandmates. Unless one of them was really good at controlling their breathing, there was no way it would’ve gone unnoticed to Ahri.

She tiptoed down the hall, passing Kai’Sa’s room, half thinking to open it and to whisper an apology in her sleep.

Kai’Sa had kept it a habit to leave her door unlocked incase she had a nightmare. Nightmares of something the dancer calls the ‘Void’. In the throes of her nightmares, she would be unable to unlock the door for the girls to come in. 

Ahri was shocked to see that for once the door handle didn’t give. 

It was locked.

Ears flattened against her head, and her tail dropped sadly at her ankles. The gumiho felt ashamed of how she treated her. She pressed her forehead against the door and took a deep breath.

_‘It’s not forever. Bokkie, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I promise.’_

She eventually continued down to the kitchen and brewed herself some black coffee. She checked her watch and did some mental math. She needed to finish this cup quickly before it was too late to call. Afterall no-one wants that late of a booty call.

xxx

She walks back to her office. And this time firmly triple-checks that the door is locked.

She gives herself two big deep breaths before opening her phone app, and sliding up to a contact that never fails to make her smile.

_Ring! Ring!_

**“Ahri-unnie! Good evening!”** The bubbly voice was infectious and she couldn’t help but have a smile mirrored on her lips. 

“It’s morning here Sera-yah.” Ahri chidded lightly, as she leaned against her chair. Eagerly waiting for the caffeine to hit and for the morning sun to warm her skin. “Are you done with your shift at the cafe?”

**“Yes Unnie! I’m already home, showered, ate dinner and I fed Bao. Is there something you needed?”**

Ahri clicked her tongue as she checked the papers in front of her.

“You mentioned before that you needed some time to gather your affairs in order before you could come to Seoul?”

There was slight shuffling on the other side of the phone. With her sensitive hearing, she assumes that Seraphine was sitting at her desk and rifling through paper.

**“I would need at least...two weeks. I need to talk to my landlord and stuff like that Unnie...you know how it is with the pandemic here in America. There’s a lot of things to go through.”**

“Is it the rent and your job?”

**“I actually was given permission to quit today! But I’m a little sad about it…”**

Ahri frowned. She wasn’t expecting Seraphine to quit her job. Perhaps it was to be expected as the pandemic had reduced hours for the majority of small businesses. Seraphine’s job was no exception. 

She tried to form her words gently, unsure if it was appropriate to comfort someone who just lost her job with words of inspiration...

“It can mean new doors for you Sera-yah, but I’m sure Ben-ssi would support your dreams where it takes you.”

She could hear the smile on the songstress tone, relieved that she said the right thing, **“I’m just happy that it wasn’t a sad ending. It was...bittersweet but I think I’ll be okay. It's just the housing I’m worried about. Now that I don’t have a job anymore.”**

“About that... I can fund it for you until you’re ready to go back after MORE promotions are over.” The gumiho said simply as if she was talking about the weather.

There was a crash. Ahri had to pull the phone away from her ear. She can safely guess that Seraphine had dropped her phone in shock.

**“U-unnie! That is far too much! You don’t have to!”**

Ahri had to playfully roll her eyes at the thought. “Sera-yah, please let me do this for you. We are asking a lot from you, it’s the least that we can do. Let’s just say Evelynn and I have a lot of money on our hands. We have more than what we can do at the moment.”

_‘The one time I think raiding that one castle in the Byzantine Empire is finally coming handy.’_

There was a whine at the otherside of the phone, and Seraphine reminded her of a puppy. Eager to please and eager to give and give and give. 

**“If-if you’re sure…”**

“Would you mind letting pass your information off to Roy and my manager-unnie? They will handle the financials from there. And when you finally get the plane details please give me a call so that I can properly make sure that you and Bao are taken care of.”

**“This is truly too much! But-but I trust you...I trust you Ahri-unnie. You can pass my information along. Thank you for taking care of Bao and I!”**

“Anything for you. Alright, I’ve got to get going, get some sleep and I’ll see you in two weeks!”

**“Goodnight Ahri-unnie! Bao says goodnight too!”**

_Click!_

  
  


  * ~~Call Choi-sunbaenim for FOXY~~
  * Call Crownguard-ssi for Charmed
  * ~~Call Seraphine to prep for the move to Seoul~~
  * Call Roy and Manager-unnie
  * Visit Yasuo and Sona if they are available at their studios.



Checking off that part of her mental list, she placed her phone and glowered at the stacks of paper that she still had to go through. Ahri closed her eyes thinking of what else could have possibly needed her attention at this very moment before she got started. 

Nothing was coming to mind. 

Except for Kai’Sa’s hurt expression. 

She hissed and tried to push the image out of her mind. She picked up her pen and tried to think of when this torment would end.

xxx

  
  


“Where’s Bokkie?” Akali asked while sipping hot tea. “Not that she’s obligated to cook breakfast for us every morning, but it’s weird that she’s not here in the kitchen right now.”

It was a rare morning for the pair to be up before noon. Evelynn was just in the mood to not lounge around in bed. Something made her want to leave her bed early, dragging sleepy Rogue with her. 

Evelynn pursed her lips, thumbing through the news of the global pandemic. Seems like there’s a huge crackdown on non-abiding citizens in Seoul. 

She clicks her tongue in displeasure, she needs to think about being careful of where she drives when it comes to picking up supplies for the manor.

“Eve, did you hear me?”

“Yes darling, I did. I’m just thinking about something else right now.” The taller woman puts her phone away and addresses the lack of the sound of clattering kitchen tools. “That’s weird she would’ve been down by now.”

“Maybe she slept in?”

The succubus shook her head, “The day the Kai’Sa sleeps in, is the day the world will surely burn.”

“Like the time I set the kitchen on fire?””

“Exactly.” 

The two of them walked to Kai’Sa’s door and knocked gently, “Kai’Sa? Are you awake?”

Akali jiggled the door and was shocked to find it locked too. They both knocked again and again.

“Evelynn...Kai’Sa never locks her door.”

The Rogue pressed an ear to the door to hear any sign of Kai’Sa. 

“It sounds like she’s in there, but I don’t know…”

Evelynn growled as she stormed to Ahri’s office and tried the handle as well. Her eyes narrowed at the sound of an equally locked door. 

There were multiple voices from behind the door. Ahri was in a meeting, and it sounded like it was also equally tense. 

She had half the mind to use her lashers to break down the door, disrupt the meeting for all it’s worth just so she can rip the fur off Ahri’s tail. The one time she was this close to coming through with her threats of making a fur pelt out of the gumiho.

Evelynn is protective of her girls. And she knows that she has a tender place in her heart for Ahri, but this was inexcusable. 

The succubus blew a loose strand of hair out of her face, her temper had to be quelled for now. Ahri did a lot to secure her empire over her other lines, FOXY and Charmed. And she shouldn’t come in the way of that because that was a personal passion project. And it was another form of K/DA’s financial security. 

_‘That traitorous fox…how fucking convenient.’_

Evelynn walked back to Akali who was bouncing up and down in anxiousness. She stilled her bouncing lover with a firm hand and bent down to whisper her orders.

“Darling, can you grab my keys from the bedside drawer. But be discreet, don’t make too much noise. I don’t want _Ahri_ to worry.”

“Ooh. Okay…”

Less than 5 minutes later, Akali returned with the set of master keys to the house. Evelynn fished the one that opened Kai’Sa’s door and opened it quietly in case she spooked her.

“Kai’Sa darling... it’s Evelynn and Akali.”

The room was dark, the curtains weren’t even drawn. That was doubling concerning given that Kai’Sa was an early riser and she loves to catch the early sun to start her day.

Seeing the room in this dark state, was definitely concerning. 

Golden eyes saw a pitiful lump on the bed and she could hear sniffling and choked cries.

“Oh honey…”

Akali with no preamble threw herself on the bed with an oof and wrapped her arms around the lump that is Kai’Sa. Apparently it was the dancer needed, because arms came out of the blanket bundle to hold Akali close as she cried softly into her chest. 

Akali being the cuddle bug that she is wrapped her arms tightly around her and rocked back and forth.

Evelynn sat on the side of the bed, her hand sans claw to wipe the tears on her face. 

“Talk to us, what’s wrong?”

“It-it’s nothing.” The dancer blubbered, her voice muffled by the folds of Akali’s shirt. 

Evelynn chuckled, “Come now, I know that’s not true. You’re safe here. Let us know what’s wrong.”

“Do you want us to make you breakfast?” Akali questioned quietly, a far-cry from her usual upbeat personality. “Anything you want! I can’t promise it’ll taste good, but I’ll try for you.”

Kai’Sa gave a wet laugh as she finally sat up and wiped the tears. 

“Surely, you’ll burn down my kitchen…”

Evelynn pinched Kai’Sa’s thigh sharply, “I believe it is _my_ kitchen, since I paid for it.”

Kai’Sa yelped and turned to give Evelynn a glowering look, “And I cook 99% of everyone’s meals. So it is _my kitchen._ ”

“There’s my darling girl. I rather see you snarking than crying.” Evelynn jokes. Her tone is now finally serious. “Why are you so upset? And your door is locked...I thought you didn’t want to keep the door locked in case for emergencies like this…”

“I knew you had a spare key Eve…” Kai’Sa mumbled as she drew the covers over her head. 

Evelynn shook her head, pulling the covers from her face, running hand down Kai’Sa’s trembling back. Akali turned to wrap her arms around the dancer’s waist and bury her face into her stomach. 

“I only ever use it for emergencies...like if I thought something horrible happened to you Kai’Sa.” The demoness said seriously. “It’s not normal for us to see you like this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. We were just concerned. And seeing you like this worries us.” Akali chirped, keeping her grip across Kai’Sa’s broad shoulders.

“It’s Ahri…”

“Of course it is. That blasted fox.” Evelynn grumbled, her lashers standing upright in anger. She waved a hand to settle her lashers, lest they end up tearing Kai’Sa’s bed sheets.

“She could hear you!” Akali hissed, keeping her words to a whisper.

Evelynn rolled her eyes, motioning on of her lashers to reach over and close the door. “She wouldn’t listen in...She’s too much of a coward right now.”

Shocked gasps from Akali and Kai’Sa.

“Oh my god Evelynn!”

The succubus shook her head, trying to calm down her younger members. “Oh please, the worst she can do is bite me and I’ve been bitten by her over the course of a millenia or more. She hurt you...why would she hurt you? Our precious Bokkie?”

The thought of Ahri’s fearful gaze was something that she couldn’t shake. Tears welled in her eyes, as Kai’Sai tried to recount what happened just last night. 

“I’m just so worried about her. Evelynn, she has this dead look on her eyes, she barely eats. I know she barely sleeps these days. She has meetings and meetings and-and-and...”

Akali sat up and rubbed soothing circles on Kai’Sa’s shoulders, “Bokkie you might hyperventilate! Slow down.”

“I’m worried that she’s going to get so sick from whatever she’s doing…I talked to her last night, about slowing down…”

She remembered the soft touch of Ahri’s hand against her cheek. How her thumb brushed against her lower jaw with such tenderness. It made her blush still to this hour. 

“And she promised that it would just take some time. And I said I’d give her space. And then she slammed the door in my face!” Kai’Sa said with a sigh, her voice now wavering. “But even if I’m mad...she looked so scared Eve...and I don’t know why and it’s killing me.”

Kai’Sa turned from her position and reached to grab Evelynn’s silk robe.

“Evelynn, please tell me how I can fix this?”

The succubus had to tear her eyes away from pleading purple ones. _‘Ahri you stupid fuck, look at the mess you’ve left me with.’_

“I wish I could help...but I can’t. Ahri forbade me to.”

“How is that possible?” Akali asked, slowly getting angry. She pulled her hands away from the dancer’s shoulders to prevent leaving bruises, as she balled her hands into a fists.

She pointed a finger to the direction of Ahri’s office, her lips curled into a snarl, completely forgetting that the guniho could hear her, “She hurt Kai’Sa! That’s inexcusable! She’s our leader and she needs to fix this!”

“Hold on dear, let me explain.” Lashers tugged gently on Akali’s wrist so that she didn’t start running down the hall to demand answers from the hiding gumiho.

“Ahri and I are very unusual beings. We are not human, so opening up to each other takes a tremendous amount of trust.” She turned to her Rogue who was fuming. A lasher wrapped around Akali’s waist to try to quell her anger. “Akali, you my love, can do it as easily as breathing. And that’s what I love about you.”

She took a deep breath and cocked her head to the side. Aif trying to find a way to properly place her words. “But it’s not the same for Ahri and I, we can’t be vulnerable unless it is equally reciprocal. And I mean equally. Like a bargaining chip.”

The succubus kept a firm hand on Kai’Sa’s lower back, patting it rhythmically. 

“It’s a very draconian way of thinking. But if we press and press for more information before the two of us are ready to come into terms with it, it’s not pretty. I’m sure you heard some of our stories from the horror books of mankind.”

“Oh like the Prague story?”

“Exactly. It’s also a part of our long life. We have _years_ to think about what we have done before we address some of the _baggage_ that comes with it. That's why to make sure we wouldn’t cross each other's trust and boundaries...we put a safe-guard in between us. A safe-word.”

“Isn’t that...supposed to be in bed?” Kai’Sa asked dubiously. 

Akali's face scrunched up, a faint blush on her cheeks, “Yeah Eve, we have a safe-word but that’s only when we- you know…”

Evelynn laughed at the sour look on Kai’Sa’s face, “The two of us practically invented the word, I would prefer to see this more common in our human companions. It honestly kept our friendship in check for such a long time. Anyways, Ahri safe-worded me the other day. And I can’t talk to her about her behavior unless she comes to me first.”

“That’s such a cop out way of not talking about what’s wrong.” The Rogue pointed out.

“I agree, we could quite literally not talk to each other for _decades_ on that topic if she truly wants to. But here’s the thing, Ahri...Ahri...she’s quite literally like a wounded fox. She has to come to you otherwise she will come at you scratching and biting.”

Evelynn wipes another stray tear from Kai’Sa’s eyes. “But I’m afraid our Foxy has bitten off more than she can chew and she hasn’t come to us yet. I can be upset with her. And she knows that I am, but I can’t ask her why. The two of you however can attempt to talk to her.”

“Surely you can break that vow of yours because it’s for the good of her health?” Akali pressed, she waved her arms around to further emphasize her point, “There’s always exceptions to every rule!”

“I haven’t heard that word in sixty years...And for my own reasons alone I can’t tell you why exactly.”

“What’s her safeword?”

The succubus shook her head.

“Well then...what’s your word for Ahri?”

Evelynn chuckled lowly, her tone patient and kind, “It doesn’t work like that my lil’ Rogue. Safewords are safe for a reason. It’s important for Ahri to feel comfortable to use that word on me. That’s how this works. You would know Akali.”

“Hmmph…” Akali pursed her lips, but decided that she tried all avenues to figure out Ahri’s angle. With a sigh, she plopped face first in Kai’Sa’s lap and cuddled close.

“Trust me when I say, as much as I want to turn her into a fox pelt...Ahri didn’t use that word lightly. I need to take it seriously.” Evelynn said with a sigh. Her hands came up to brush rub Kai’Sa’s blotchy cheeks while the other gently patted Akali’s forehead with affection.

“But right now Ahri isn’t my main concern. If she says she can handle, then well we’ll leave her to it. You’re my concern now, Kai’Sa darling. So scoot over while we drown in whatever melodramatic K-drama you’re watching while Rogue makes breakfast.” 

Kai’Sa giggled before leaning over and kissed Evelynn’s cheeks in thanks.

“Love you Eve. Thank you.”

“Say that again and someone’s going to think I’ve gone soft.” The succubus tittered before adding, “I love you too darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #3: Ahri and Evelynn normally skips breakfast in favour of tea and coffee. It's only after 11 A.M they would actually eat a meal.
> 
> Asscanon #4: Contrary to tabloids, Evelynn is one of the more emotionally competent members of K/DA. 
> 
> Asscanon #5: Akali and Kai'Sa argue everyday on where they should sit for meals: the upright dining table or the kotatsu.
> 
> Did ya catch all my references to my favourite authors? :D


	5. Empty Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri panics. Evelynn throws her trump card.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //TC: for panic attacks
> 
> Again this is supposed to be a rollercoaster of emotions for Ahri and the rest of K/DA - healing for everyone doesn't happen over night. Nor was Rome built in a day.

_Meanwhile down the hall..._

The moment that Ahri hears that choked sob escape Kai’Sa’s throat, she needs to leave. She can safely guess that her dancer would soon spill all her troubles and worries on Evelynn and Akali. 

She shouldn’t be around to hear it. 

Hands trembling, she quickly puts together an outfit for a drive, she took her wallet, phone, spare charger, a jumper and her keys and quietly made her exit from the K/DA household.

Her simple red, _basic,_ Tesla Model Y pulls out of the driveway and into the streets of Seoul. 

She drove with no real destination in mind. There was no music playing. Only the sound of the blood reaching the tip of her ears, and the feeling of her stomach clenching was connecting her mind to this plane. She drove and drove and drove. Unsure whether she had put enough miles and time between herself and Kai’Sa.

Feeling a headache pound against her skull, she quickly found herself driving toward Han River Park. Pulling up to a vacant parking spot, she put up her sunshields and locked her doors. 

Her stomach gnawed at her insides. Maybe for food. Maybe for guilt. It’s quite possibly both. 

She took out her blue contacts and stowed them away. Her eyes stinging with unshed tears. 

“아, 씨발...I’m an asshole…”

When she felt strong enough, she reached into her purse to fish out her phone. Her finger hovered on her phone contacts.

She only really talks to the members of K/DA. But she can imagine that right now she is the _least_ favourite gumiho at the current moment. 

**_“She wouldn’t listen in...She’s too much of a coward right now.”_ **

The taunt rang in her head like the sound of a gong. It rattled her teeth and her head throbbed at the word. 

Coward.

_Coward._

**_Coward._ **

**_Coward._ **

Evelynn was right, she was a coward to listen in. Evelynn knew the right words to keep Ahri from trying to gauge how Kai’Sa was feeling. 

She hated how Evelynn, how Evelynn is right there right now with Kai’Sa and not with her.

Ahri knew that she played the wrong time to use her safeword. Now bound to her vow, she can’t use Evelynn as a way to talk about her feelings unless Ahri herself about the event that prompted the word use.

_‘Why couldn’t I just tell Eve that I’m overwhelmed?’_

_‘Why couldn’t I just tell Eve that I’m so tired that it hurts?’_

_‘Why couldn’t I just tell Eve that...Kai’Sa makes me want to spill everything to her but I’m scared, I’m scared that she can see that I’m crumbling and I don’t want her to deal with this mess…?’_

Tears were spilling from her eyes and she had to stop.

She willed herself to stop.

She had to.

Ahri. The National Treasure. Her face is public on billboards and buildings alike. Her fox ears and tail was a beacon for attention and prolonged stares. She couldn’t be seen crying in public in her car. That would be scandalous. And she couldn’t bring K/DA’s reputation down before they can even formally announce their comeback. 

She hastily wiped her tears and reached for her purse to check her face.

Slightly blotchy. But if anyone asks, she can easily pass it out as seasonal allergies. After all, sometimes being a gumiho has its perks. Heightened senses could mean “heightened allergic reactions''. 

After giving more time to release, _this time_ , dry sobs, she shakily got out of the car and took a deep breath.The crisp fall air was enough to give her chills, but it was the hollowness in her stomach that really was keeping her insides bare.

She thinks of the girls. She thinks about calling Akali. But she had to immediately dash the thought. Akali and Evelynn were a matched set. 

If it wasn’t for the safe word, Akali would probably have urged Evelynn to talk to her while the maknae would talk to Kai’Sa.

It was just how they worked. It was quite rare for Ahri and Akali to interact. 

But when Ahri thinks of Akali... she can think of how angry Akali would be at her for hurting her second favourite member aside from Evelynn. She was the one to scout Akali, but _in her opinion_ their relationship was really nothing more than a semi-strained separated sister-like relationship. 

Ahri would also look out for Akali like a doting mother. But maybe without the usual kindness and grace that Kai’Sa naturally emits. 

Ahri was rather stern to keep Akali from going off on intrusive interviewers and photographers on K/DA property (even if she really didn’t mind letting Akali scare them off with scary glow in the dark oni mask in hand). Other than that will turn a blind eye to Akali’s more louder set of personal quirks. She didn’t particularly care that Akali likes to practice kunai throwing in the middle of the living room when she’s bored. Or that occasionally she could find shoe marks on the side of the wall. 

Let’s not forget the many, many times that Ahri has found Evelynn’s lingerie in tatters up and down the mansion. 

She doesn’t say much because she doesn’t want to coddle Akali. She doesn’t say much because Akali deserves to enjoy the stardom and all those perks without being smothered by higher ups. Including herself. If that meant keeping a respectable distance from Akali, that was something Ahri made peace with already.

It hurt. But it was true.

And then the gumiho thinks of Kai’Sa. 

Her heart breaks all over again. 

Kai’Sa...Kai’Sa is something special.

Maybe it was in her haze of exhaustion that she found herself more physically affectionate with the dancer. The quiet but meaningful handholds. The gentle yet piercing gazes that seem to stretch for as long as Ahri has been alive. 

It was electrifying but also a soothing balm on Ahri’s many, many wounds.

She didn’t want to admit that she craved Kai’Sa’s warmth everywhere. 

But most of all she wanted to carry it in her heart. 

She couldn’t.

She shouldn’t.

She wouldn’t.

  
  


Not when Ahri knows that her actions are deplorable right now. As a manager. As a leader. As a friend. She should’ve never closed the door on Kai’Sa like that. Or spouted lies to Evelynn and Akali that all of this stress was temporary. 

Because it wouldn’t be. K/DA stardom is projected to continue, more comebacks would be demanded and created, and their schedules no matter what they did, will continue to clash and overlap. 

Starting _anything_ with Kai’Sa will surely just hurt the dancer in the long run. Hurt them now then hurt them later right?

Pitiful gumiho. Her mind mocked her. No wonder being a demon was such a lonely existence. 

_Ping! Ping!_

Ahri’s ears perked at the sound of her phone vibrating.

She swiped up to see a photo.

It was Kai’sa and Akali cuddling in bed. Both donning their animal onesies that Ahri had gifted them last year as a joke. Kai’Sa was sleeping soundly in Akali’s arms, while the smaller woman cradled her loosely. Akali’s mouth was open and the drool was coming a little bit. 

The photographer of course was Evelynn. 

  
  
  
  


**In group chat “OG Diva + Foxy”**

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** You could’ve been holding her.

  
  
  


**Ahri:** I know Eve... I didn’t mean to shut her out.

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** I know you do. But she doesn’t know that and you’re scaring her so much.

  
  
  


**Ahri:** How do I fix this?

  
  
  


**Evelynn: …**

  
  
  
  


Ring! Ring!

  
  


There was a soft click, Ahri can guess it’s the sound to Kai’Sa’s bedroom. There was slight shuffling, before rhythmic clicks of heels were heard. 

Another soft slam. Ahri can guess that Evelynn was now in one of her many cars. There was a subtle hum in the back, and she can finally guess that Evelynn was driving. 

No one could hear them. 

It was safe to talk. 

  
  
  


“Eve…”

**“Foxy…”**

  
  
  


“I-I…”

**“Prayer.”**

  
  
  


“...Evelynn. Are you - ?”

**“Yes Ahri. I invoke my safeword. You will** **_not_ ** **ask about how Kai’Sa is doing. I only will retract it if you also tell me how you’re feeling.”**

  
  


There was silence. A heartbeat later.

  
  


“I revoke my safeword. I’m at Han River Park.” Her voice was hollow and foreign.

**“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”**

  
  
  


Ahri sat on the river bank, sipping on some water. She had bought teokbokkie but once again her appetite alludes her. There was the faint sound of crunching grass and heard incoming footsteps. She didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. 

Expensive perfume. The smell of leather. The subtle scent of oil and metal. It was Evelynn. 

She stood slowly to her full height and turned around to meet Evelynn’s stern gaze. Meekly she kept her ears low and her tail curled around her ankle. 

“Eve…”

“Don’t ‘Eve’ me you fur coat. Let’s go. We’ll leave your car here for now, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

Numbly she followed behind Evelynn, feeling frustrated with herself when she felt that she couldn’t keep one foot properly in front of another. Her hand was reaching for her heart, her breath coming into short pants. 

“Hold..on...Evelynn.”

Evelynn didn’t turn around but slowed her pace so that her younger member could keep up. Thankfully the streets bordering the river were empty, not even a single jogger was in sight, and that meant it was really just the two of them walking down the sidewalk to their respective cars. 

Ahri fished out her car keys and gently dropped them into Evelynn’s hands. She weakly slipped into the passenger seat and slumped against the chair. Golden eyes through her sunglasses scanned the limp form. Evelynn smoothly pulled but pressed a little harder on the gas, easily swerving in and out of the lanes toward the K/DA manor. 

“Ahri darling, talk to me. Are you okay?” She tried to keep her tone calm in order to keep the panic out of her voice. Ahri looked pale, very, very pale. 

The succubus could hear muttering, garbled and wheezy. Seeing that she was merely a few miles away, Evelynn pressed firmly on the gas.

“I-I it’s too much. I can’t- I can’t...” Ahri’s were squeezed shut, rocking back and forth in her seat, squirming trying to get free. Her breathing quickened into heavy wheezes, her hands reaching to grip her chest. 

_‘Fuck!’_

Evelynn to her relief saw the gates to the K/DA manor, at the sudden downturn of Ahri’s condition. Barely having time to park the car, she was sure she left the engine on; she threw open her door before running to the passenger’s side. She pulled out Ahri, cradling her in her arms and her lashers breaking the front door open calling for her bandmates. 

“Kai’Sa! Akali!” Her voice reaches the highest octave she can make. “Come down here quick!”

Thankfully right away, she heard rapid footsteps running down the stairs with Akali reaching the bottom first. 

Akali was still dressed in her onesie, but her eyes were alert. Her eyes widened at the state of the front door but honed in on Evelynn who was holding a trembling Ahri who looked like she was struggling to breath.

“Whats going on?!” 

Evelynn couldn’t explain, but barked out orders instead, “Help me take off her sweater! She needs to breathe!”

“Eve I don’t understand!”

“She’s hyperventilating, hurry Akali, where's your kunai?! Ah-Ahri please let me help!” 

Ahri was combative and scratching at her chest trying to find a way to catch air. Evelynn knew she couldn’t pin Ahri not in this state. She kept Ahri upright and tried to rub her shoulders soothingly, shushing her friend to keep the sobs under control. Thankfully with all her expertise Akali was able to skillfully slice off Ahri's cream sweater and toss it aside leaving Ahri in just her bra and jeans. 

“Kai’Sa! Hurry!”

A breathless and teary Kai’Sa came around the corner with a blanket to preserve Ahri’s dignity and carried Ahri to the nearby couch. She could feel Ahri scratching and trying to wiggle her way out, half muttering, half screaming, “No no no no no no no NO!”

The dancer winced at the strength that Ahri still had left in her limbs, but she kept a firm grip at least until two of them were settled on the couch. The gumiho in her panic was trying to find her bearings. She couldn’t see outside of her swollen eyes, she couldn’t fill her lungs with oxygen she desperately needed. She felt fabric against her bare shoulders and she wanted nothing more to sink into them, but she needed more. She needed more. She needed more. She needed- 

It was not until she felt her cheek press against something solid. Something _warm._ That her hands clawed for stability. Her mind was swimming, drowning in her own thoughts. She wanted the Void to swallow her whole.

“Breathe with me baby. Breathe.” The voice sounded garbled in her hazy state. She tried to reply but she was robbed of breath.

Shaky sobs wracked Ahri’s figure. She tried. She tried. She tried. Her coughs were and the tension in her chest wouldn’t cease. 

“You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re with Kali, Eve and me. Breathe. There we go.” 

Hearing the wheeze slowly turn into soft pants, Kai'Sa loosened the blanket cape enough to let Ahri have more airflow. The dancer could see the clammy skin and the sweat that dropped off her brow. She continued with her directions, determined to help Ahri ride this out. 

The gumiho was barely keeping up with the directions. Her head was foggy, and her vision was spotted with dark circles. She could feel the intensity of her breath wane but she felt that she was still not breathing enough. A whine escaped without meaning to. And more whimpering as she felt a sticky coldness sinking into her skin. With whatever strength she had left she curled deeper into the warmth, her nose pressing against the grapefruit scented cotton. Desperate for comfort. 

“Kai’Sa...it looks like Ahri might be passing out.” Akali said shakily as she brought Evelynn to her feet. 

She fretted over her succubus, nothing that Evelynn never looked this disheveled before. She picked up her kunai and stowed it away, and used the other spare throw blanket and wrapped it around Evelynn’s shoulders. 

Kai’Sa looked over her shoulder to meet her maknae’s worried gaze, as she slowly rocked back and forth, trying to keep her voice soft and low, “She might faint but that’s okay.” 

Purple orbs looked down to see that Ahri’s breathing was shallow but her eyes were glassy and unfocused. Smoothly, Kai’Sa checked for her pulse and made a mental count of her beats per minute. It was low enough to be okay for sleeping, but not too low which would warrant an ambulance to come.

“But when she wakes up, we need to be very careful with her. She might not remember where she is and she might get scared again...”

“Do we need to call a doctor?” Evelynn said with worry, pulling her own blanket cape tighter around her shoulders. “I should’ve gone straight to the hospital.”

K shook her head, keeping a steady hold on the gumiho's trembling form. “It’s okay Eve, you did great. After tonight, if she doesn’t improve, I promise we’ll go to the hospital.”

Akali was rubbing Ahri’s covered legs to soothe the lingering tremors. “Should we move her?”

Kai’Sa shook her head, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, “She might be awake still. Let’s just give her a moment.”

Several tense moments later, Kai’Sa looked down again to see that Ahri’s eyes are completely closed and the tight grip that she had on Kai’Sa onesie collar had finally loosened. Kai'Sa finally leaned her head back to hang on the couch arm rest, breathing out a sigh in relief. 

Akali slumped to the floor, holding her heart, “Fucking heck. What in the world…”

Evelynn pursed her lips, “I just went to pick her up, and then next thing you know she started wheezing. And I didn’t think I drove straight here.”

They all sat there, waiting for more movement from Ahri. Even the trio waited for their hearts to settle. There was no wheezing to be heard, no choked cries. Akali leaned over to brush away a stray tear from Ahri’s closed eyes. 

“Unnie…”

  
  


The succubus stood up to her full height, taking her claws off and removing her heels at last, “I can carry her Bokkie…”

The dancer shook her head, feeling rather protective and lifted Ahri easily. The gumiho didn’t stir from the movement, instead curled closer to the warmth of Kai’Sa’s collar. She defiantly ignored Evelynn's quirked eyebrow and a slight smug smile. If it wasn't for the situation Kai'Sa would've at least given her the middle finger.

“I should take her.” Kai’Sa said quietly, her attention transfixed on her sleeping form. The symbiote on her shoulders fluttered on high alert. “Can you get her door for me? Kali can you grab some cold water bottles, and some lozenges?”

“What about food?” Akali got up and went to the kitchen to get what was needed.

Kai’Sa pursed her lips and thought of Ahri’s eating behaviors the past couple of days, “She might not be able to stomach it. I should’ve realized that earlier when she didn't really finish her food.”

They all filed into Ahri’s bedroom, and cleared away any papers that lingered on her bedside table and replaced it with water bottles. 

“I’ve had enough panic attacks to know that right now she just needed to ride it out.” Kai’Sa said as she tucked Ahri in. “She’s probably going to feel pretty awful for the next day or two. “

She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to remove her clothes completely, but skinny jeans and her lace black lace bra was not the best way for her to rest. 

“Evelynn, can you grab some loose fitting clothes for Ahri’s wardrobe?”

The succubus perused through Ahri’s wardrobe and found a baggy white T-shirt and some loose grey sweatpants. 

She returned with items in hand and looked at Kai’Sa. “Did you want me to dress her? I can also wipe off her makeup too. ”

Kai’Sa sheepishly nodded, “I don’t know what I’m allowed to do with her. You’ve spent years with her, she...she talked about her physical boundaries with you right?”

The succubus smiled at Kai’Sa’s thoughtfulness, “And to think Ahri is usually the charming one. You’re right, turn around then, I won’t take long.”

Before Kai’Sa can really ponder it, Evelynn calls out that she was done. And there was Ahri, redressed and makeup free, ready for bed. Ahri was asleep but her brow was pinched and her fang was biting her lip again. The two women looked at each other and frowned. 

“Oh Ahri…”

Akali made her presence known by placing two cold water bottles on Ahri’s bedside table, along with headache pills and anti-nausea pills. She also had a wet towel that she gingerly placed on the gumiho’s sweaty forehead. Ahri flinched in her sleep at the cool sensation, but then relaxed once more. The tension in her brow was gone, at least temporarily. 

As soon as it was clear that Ahri wasn’t going anywhere, Akali dragged the two older women back into the hallway, closing the door behind her. 

Akali’s hands were clenched as she shook. “I’m so angry. How did it get like this? A fucking panic attack?!”

The older girls looked at each other and waited for Akali to get the words out.

Akali was spacing back and forth, her hands running through her unruly hair. She was muttering in Japanese, Korean and English, something that was rare to hear. As resident polyglot Kai’Sa frowned when she quickly deciphered that over and over Akali was calling Ahri essentially an idiot. 

“Are you mad at her? For having a panic attack?”

“Yes-wait. No! I mean yes! I mean no!”

Akali balled her fist into her eyes. Trying not to cry, “I’m just mad that I can’t...I can’t do anything for her.”

“Kali, it’s okay.” Evelynn said, giving her lover a back hug. “She’s just hurting. Hurting bad right now. “

“She will tell us what’s wrong right?” Akali whimpered, feeling powerless at the sight of their leader. “This was really scary and I don’t want this to ever happen again.”

Kai’Sa and Evelynn nodded and gave their resident maknae strong hugs. 

“Maybe not right away when she wakes up, but she will.”

  
  
  


xxx

  
  
  
  


After hugging it out some more, Evelynn and Akali left the hallway together, citing that they too needed rest after such a hectic day. 

Kai’Sa on the other hand, returned to the room, wanting to put her energy and attention to the sleeping gumiho. It was possible that Ahri might wake up confused in her surroundings so she brought a book, her laptop and her phone to keep her occupied until then. 

She sat on the edge of the bed clicking through ballet videos, till a weak whine filled the room. 

“Ahri?”

Golden eyes darted the room in fear, and when they finally caught sight of Kai’Sa’s purple eyes, the gumiho settled back into the sheets.

“W-where am I?” Her voice was slurred and slow. 

“You’re home baby.” Kai’Sa gave a watery smile, as she brushed a loose strand of hair away from the gumiho’s face. “You’re safe.”

Those golden eyes blinked slowly in recognition then started to shift side to side, slowly become unfocused and glassy. Kai’Sa bit her lip in worry as Ahri’s breathing slowed.

  
  


“...Bokkie…”

  
  


Ahri’s eyes fluttered closed again and then she was out once more.

  
  
  


xxx

  
  
  
  


It was much later into the evening when Ahri finally woke up. 

Her arms felt like lead, and her mouth felt dry as a desert. She gingerly sat up, and found that she was in her room save for a small lamp that was lit. 

There was water next to her bedside table, along with headache and nausea medicine. She drank one bottle of water first, before drinking her pills. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and tried to stand. 

Wobbly, and her ankles might have rolled a bit but it was fine. She wracked her brain to try to remember what had happened. She was at the Han River Park...and now she was back in her room.

_‘What happened?’_

She looked at her clothes and then looked for her phone and wallet. Gone. 

They can’t be gone. She had stuff to do. If she slept too long the rest of the tasks would be pushed back and she couldn’t afford to lose time. 

Her eyes were throbbing and sounds were hurting her ear drums. Her singular thought focused on completing her mental list. If she didn’t finish them-no she had to finish them. 

_‘What was the order….? Crownguard…Seraphine...Yasuo...Sona? Was that right?’_

The headache prodded her temples with every heartbeat. The gumiho rubbed her eyes. The sooner she can get this done, she can sleep. She can sleep. 

_‘Work. Need to find keys.’_

So she followed her nose. Sniffing slightly to find the person who can give her an explanation. 

The scent of perfume, pomegranates, the slight musk of sex. 

Evelynn. 

“Ahri. You’re up…” Evelynn said quietly. “How are you feeling?”

“Where’s my keys to my office Evelynn?”

There was a pause. And Ahri sniffed the air again. It smelled of pheromones, dominant and warning. 

“Dunno. I had Akali hide them.” Evelynn’s tone now dismissive and uncaring as she turned a page of her book. The sound of the page turning was enough to make Ahri wince. At the realization that Evelynn didn’t know the location of her keys, something in her snapped. 

“You what?!”

Evelynn glared back, marking her page before standing up to eye the sickly gumiho. “You are not working. Not today, not tomorrow and not for this week.”

“I have things to do and deadlines to meet! And what am I supposed to do with all the meetings that I had planned?!” She hissed. 

“I canceled them.” A flat, dry response.

“YAH!”

“Don’t ‘yah’ me you fleabag!” Evelynn rounded on Ahri, her lashers flexing behind her warningly. “Did you forget that we share similar contacts?! I have Roy’s number, and I also scouted Seraphine. I’m now in charge of Seraphine’s arrival here to South Korea. I told prissy little bitch Crowngaurd that you are taking these couple months off to prepare for the comeback.”

“That is my _line_ Evelynn! You have no right!” Ahri barked, her fangs on full display. All nine tails had popped out, flaring menacingly as she tried to make her presence feel more dominant. She was trembling from rage and that she wasn’t sure if she could keep herself standing for long.

Evelynn raised her voice, letting her voice echo across the living room,“You were going to work and not rest! So no! I told them to just wait patiently and Ahri, they were _more_ than _happy_ to give you a _goddamn break!_ ”

Ahri winced at the raised volumes of both their voices but she needed, _needed,_ Evelynn to give her control. Without it...what would she do?  
  


“I could kill you for this.” Ahri threatened with venom in her words. 

Her friend scoffed, unimpressed. “You tried in Prague. It didn’t work.” 

“ _Evelynn.”_

“ _Ahri._ ”

A stalemate.

“You kept more than half of the work from me Ahri, that’s not fair to me. How can I be the co-founder of K/DA, when even I don’t know about all the work that goes through with managing this comeback?” Evelynn asked tensely, trying for a different tactic to get through her friend’s thick ego.

“I didn’t want to put that on you.” Ahri diverted her attention to the floor, her nine tails starting to lower. 

“Well I will. Either you let me accept more work, or I walk.”

Ahri’s eyes widened, snapping to meet Evelynn’s, “You wouldn’t.”

“I would. I walked away from agencies for less Ahri. Don’t fucking test me right now.” Evelynn jabbed a clawed hand at her collarbone. Each poke made Ahri’s growls louder and she swiped back. “I will leave K/DA if it means pulling your head out of your ass.”

“And what about Akali and Kai’Sa? You’re going to leave them too?”

“Akali would join me in a heartbeat.” Evelynn smirked; confident. “Kai’Sa might as well, since she’s been treated _or so harshly_ by their leader.”

At the thought of Akali and Kai’Sa leaving, Ahri’ resolve crumbled. 

Her tails went limp and wrapped around her ankles, and she lowered her hands. There were the sudden black dots that colored her vision again, her breathing started to pick up. 

She will not hyperventilate again. She will not. 

“I-I...they’re free to leave. Their contracts allowed them that flexibility...They can leave.” 

_‘They can leave me behind…’_

Evelynn paused, this response wasn’t what she was expecting. Maybe her empty threat was actually a little too far.

They had all talked just a few hours after tucking Ahri to bed that Akali and Kai’Sa and Evelynn had all vowed to not leave K/DA over a misunderstanding. They were all better than that. And Evelynn promised Ahri back in Prague that no matter what happened, the monster pair would always stick together. 

“Ahri…Ahri wait.”

“You win…”

And with that, a dejected Ahri limped back to her bedroom, and closed the door quietly behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #6:  
> Nervous ticks edition?  
> Evelynn likes to drum her claws on whatever surface is available. Akali fiddles with her rings or necklace. Kai’Sa counts in 2/4 to calm her racing heartbeat. And Ahri bites her lip a lot. 
> 
> Asscanon #7: Akali for her workouts likes to practice walking around on her hands. Handstands + yoga equal stronk.
> 
> Asscanon #8: Akali likes to play prank competitions with Ahri. Their favourite game is 'How many Cheerios can they stack on an unsuspecting lasher and symbiote?' The record is 30 by Ahri. 
> 
> Asscanon #9: Akali is the nap bug. She’ll wander into someone’s room and drag someone to go nap with her. Her latest victim was Kai’Sa. Minimum is 2 hours.


	6. Scenic Route

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri struggles in her confinement. Kai'Sa tells the gumiho about her week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kahri fluff after all the sads. But there will be more in the next chapter :D unless...?

It had been tense several days after. 

Evelynn kept true to her word and started to handle, at least for the week, all things related to K/DA’s comeback. While she didn’t have the natural charisma and softness that Ahri emitted she was surprised to see how quickly she got annoyed the more these meetings dragged on. 

_‘Shit. Guess there is a reason why Ahri has me not a constant participant in these meetings. And I kinda want to kill them for wanting to stifle K/DA’s music creativity.’_

  
  
The producer she was currently in sneering with in person, spent more time staring at her assets, instead of pitching his idea for the music video.

_’I gave up my morning for this?_ _Makes me miss the 1600s. I could just drop their bodies in a ditch if they were one toe out of line and no one would know until they’re dug out centuries later…’_

But unlike her solo days and even her feral days, the succubus knew that it wasn’t her livelihood on the line. Kai’Sa and Akali depended on the two older women to handle most of the business affairs. So she keeps her face neutral underneath her mask and listens to snobbish producers claim that they could be the ones to help market and plan their comeback. 

Her lashes though swiveled and snaked from behind her seat to carefully remind wannabe producers just who they were talking to. 

She loved playing the villain in this case. Anything for her girls she will gladly deliver. 

Akali spent the majority of her time during Ahri’s semi-bedridden week keeping her distance from Ahri. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with her frustrations so instead she focuses on trying to create rap lines for her own personal solo track. 

Her voice could echo the manor as the rogue tried different verses, different speeds and different beats to find the best fit. 

One night, she announced that she had a good head start on what she was going for, but wanted to keep it a secret until they managed to get a hold of either DJ Yasuo or PENTAKILL’s Sona to help them finalize the tracks.

Evelynn was proud of her lover, Kai'Sa was excited, and Ahri, well Ahri just gave a weak smile. 

Their leader-maknae relationship has soured quite a bit since Kai'Sa's and Ahri’s confrontation and Ahri’s panic attack. 

Since the stubborn gumiho has yet to officially explain her behavior, the equally stubborn ninja has yet to hold a conversation with Ahri.

Much like Evelynn who smoothly claims that, talking to Ahri would be talking about K/DA business.  
  


“Sorry Bokkie darling, she is in the bed-ridden dog house right now. At least for three more days. I’m handling this well.”

Akali sends Ahri a glare whenever the gumiho hovers near Kai'Sa’s room. While Kai'Sa thinks it’s unneeded, Akali hovers I because maknae-line has to stick together. Ahri wilted under her stares and often retreated to her room, with her tail in between her legs. 

It was the third day after Ahri’s panic attack that she heard the younger pair talking quietly in the living room. 

Her ears could hear their hushed conversations. 

_“Do you really have to do that Kali? I know Ahri is sorry…”_

_“She hasn’t said it though! And she needs to, And if Eve is not around to remind her that she can’t treat you like that, then I will.”_

_“If you didn’t glare she probably would’ve.”_

A sigh.

_“She looks so sad…She just went through something hard Kali.”_

_“It’s been three days. If she runs every time I growl at her she just doesn’t have the guts to own up to them yet. She needs to own up to her mistakes. Patience doesn’t mean brushing everything underneath the rug. Even if she’s feeling sick or having emotional turmoil, she needs to treat everyone here with respect. I would know, Master Shen reminds me of that all the time.”_

_Another deep sigh._

_“Okay Akali, I hear you.”_

_“Glad you see it my way! Now come on you promised to play Overwatch with me!”_

_“But I don’t even know how to play!”_ Kai'Sa whined.

_“That’s just half the fun!”_

Their laughter can be heard across the hall as a door slammed shut, preventing Ahri from hearing more unless she really focuses. 

She looks at the state of her room and sees that it’s a mess. She clears her dirty laundry, puts away most of her books and draws open the curtains. Moonlight trickles in from her windows and the slight chill of the night leaves goosebumps on her skin. 

The first two days, Ahri spent the time recuperating in her room. Recuperating was a bit of a stretch to say. She wasn’t sleeping through the night. Her meals are often unfinished, brought by Akali (surprisingly). And barely enough energy in her muscles to go up and take a bath. Not even the hot water was enough to soothe the migraine that she felt or the simmering guilt that was building in the pit of her stomach. But she didn’t see black dots in her vision, and the vertigo has been less nauseating. She was fine for the most part.

Her room was littered with paper, not for work. But to word out an apology. An apology to everyone in the manor. While consciously she knows that written and practiced apologies were insincere and bland, she really didn’t know what to say to truly explain herself. 

So she gnaws on her pens, scratching out the words, ripping the papers to shreds. And now her room was messy and in a state. 

After cleaning up her room, the gumiho realizes that it’s still early in the evening. Unsure what to do next, Instead she works on her dance skills. 

There was dance practice in the morning, and Ahri against her better knowledge affirmed that she was well enough to join practice. 

But four days ago, she knew that she fell behind in practice, so she needed to catch up. Pushing herself off the bed, she proceeded to warm her body up and prepare for some late night practice. 

To not disturb her sleeping bandmates, she placed custom-made earphones into her fox ears, kept the volume low and used her window to act as a mirror as she ran through the verse and the chorus. 

She practiced and practiced. Practiced until her bones ached and she was breathing hard. 

If she had no paperwork to do or meetings to attend, this is the next best thing she can do. 

At least till she finds the right words to say. 

  
  


xxx

**At dance practice….**

  
  


Kai’Sa was impressed with the sudden turn around with Ahri's performance. She was hesistant on letting her leader hop into to practice like nothing had happened. When they glided into position and nothing went amiss she was relieved. She factored the lack of paperwork and her meetings just shifted her energy to practicing the dance over and over and over. 

Akali and Evelynn were also equally impressed by how smooth the gumiho’s moves have been polished over the past three days. They would comment or compliment but they knew that the atmosphere was still a little tense. 

Their leader looked more rested and at ease. But there was still a jitteriness to her. Like anything can spook the fox back into her hidey hole at any moment. 

A “good job” seemed to suffice, as the gumiho gave them a nervous smile and a thumbs up after every completed take.The clean up of the choreography went so well, that Kai’Sa of decided to call it off for the night. All they needed to do now was to wait for Seraphine to join them and then they can finally finish the last bit of the dance. 

Kai'Sa already had something in mind for their little singer, keeping a journal to remind herself to test it out the following morning after making breakfast. 

Ahri drives separately as well. Citing that she needs more time to perfect her moves after practice. Akali didn’t want to argue and hurried off with Evelynn who seemed to have a phone in her hand at all times these past couple of days. 

Kai'Sa waits instead, purposefully turning down the carpool with Evelynn and Akali. She waits for Ahri to finally stumble out of the dance studio looking worn and tired. 

When she caught sight of Kai'Sa waiting outside for who knows how long, her protective side was unleashed. Her nine tails popped out and her lips turned into a snarl as she looked over her shoulder and around the street for any lingering suspicious people. 

It was dangerous for Kai'Sa or anyone really to be out late in Seoul. It’s not a shady neighborhood but one can never be too careful. 

“I was with Evelynn and Akali.” Kai'Sa answered the question that Ahri was dying to ask. “I’ve only waited for 5 minutes, Evelynn would never leave me here alone for that long I promise.”

Ahri let her tails slip back into one, she bent over to pick up her fallen dance bag and went to take Kai'Sa’s own bag. She was grateful that even while the succubus was keeping her distance, she knew to always keep an eye on her younger members.

“Take me home?”

Ahri nods and opens the door on the passenger side so that the dancer can slip in. Ahri her closes Kai’Sa’s door and walks to her own side, slides into her seat and waits for the click of Kai'Sa’s seat belt before she puts hers on and starts the car. 

As they drive, Ahri smoothly turns on the radio. She wasn’t in a particularly talkative mood. She had no energy for that too. The music should help fill the car, maybe a song or two and then they would be home. 

“Evelynn is pretty busy these days. “

Ahri looks at Kai'Sa through her peripherals. The dancer was looking out the window with her legs curled up to her chest.

“Is she now?” Her own voice foreign and flat. 

“She just updated me that the designs went through. She loved what you made.” Her voice was warm, almost exasperated.

The thought of Evelynn handling K/DA affairs had her equally annoyed and amused. Annoyed that she wasn’t there to overlook any missed details. Amused that Evelynn has to actually sit through the boring meetings herself. 

“Of course she grouched that she wanted to add her little flairs to it. I saw some of the designs just for her own set. I swear it’s something straight out of BDSM magazine. That girl really loves leather around her boobs.” 

Ahri pulled up to a stoplight; tried to keep herself from drumming her fingers against the wheel. She didn’t want to make it seem that Kai’Sa was talking too much. Quite the opposite, she wants her to keep going. She wants to hear her, not through the wall or in the company of others. Just to herself.

“Since Yasuo has worked with Akali with TRUE DAMAGE before, he said he would be more than happy to help with K/DA once Japan has lifted the travel ban.”

  
  
Another stoplight. She brakes slowly and steadily to not jerk the car.

“Sona, however, was unable to help because PENTAKILL is currently under quarantine. The angry kamojis was enough to let Eve know that she really wanted to work with us too.”

_‘I should send flower-’_

“Akali sent flowers and well wishes, as well as a food cart to the PENTAKILL manor.” Kai'Sa added, as if reading her thoughts.

The gumiho sighed, guessing the girls really had everything under control without her knowledge. Ahri's hand gripped the wheel a little tighter.

_‘Was the workload too much?’_

“I promise that Evelynn still gets her thirteen something hours of sleep with Akali. She’s just more...’bitchier’. She seems okay handling well though. Akali is always with her in those meetings.”

Another red light. Another smooth stop. 

“She loves trying to make evil glary faces at stubborn producers, but it can’t top Evelynn’s cold glare. But our maknae is growing up. She likes knowing she’s in charge too.”

Ahri pouted slightly, turning the car into a bit of a scenic drive through the Han River seeing that this conversation was going to be a little longer than usual. The dancer hummed, pleased at the new change of direction. It would mean less stop and go, and more long and leisurely drift.

“Seraphine called the other day and is almost ready to come to South Korea. And Bao too! And she passes on the message that she’s super thankful for you for handling the other affairs for her. She would’ve gone mad at all the paperwork.”

“And there you go my Queen, all the news that needs to be told from the lower realms of yonder castle.” Kai’Sa joked. 

Ahri chuckled satisfied at the news. And grateful that Kai'Sa was even talking to her at all about things related to K/DA.

“There’s your smile. I’ve missed it. “

Ahri flushed lightly.

_’And I’ve miss you_.’

  
  
Eyes peered down to see that Kai'Sa’s hand was resting on the armrest closest to the console. Her fingers itched to take it into her own. 

She waited. She wasn’t sure if she should.

But seeing that the sun was setting, and that Kai'Sa is talking to her. And that all the affairs related to K/DA this week have been settled. She was content. 

She wasn’t happy on how she left things with Kai'Sa though. A verbal apology was needed, but Ahri didn’t have the words right now. 

Through her peripherals she could see that Kai'Sa was looking out the window, humming absently at the song playing on the radio. 

Soft guitar strums and occasional harmonica filled the car. 

**_“오늘 하루도 혹시 날 떠날까 늘 불안해 해_ **

**_I just want you to stay…”_ **

Kai'Sa’s Korean was a little rusty for a polyglot but she tries to sing along with the lyrics, laughing a little when she stumbles. And Ahri’s ears swiveled to hear more. It made her heart sing at such a delicate sound. Hearing Kai’Sa’s singing voice was a privilege. And she wanted to keep hearing it as often as she could, whenever she could. 

Ahri knew then she needed to repair this special relationship soon. She wanted to let her dancer know just how important she was. 

The gumiho reached over to the armrest and interlaced their fingers together. Kai'Sa made a small yelp in surprise, but didn’t pull her hand away. The singer was grateful that she had to keep her eyes on the road, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to handle whatever expression was on Kai’Sa’s face. 

After yet another red light, she brought the hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss on the back of it. Again she caught the subtle scent of grapefruits and peaches. It tickled her nose in the best of ways. Once again, she let the sensation linger, her lips dragging across soft skin. 

Her eyes pricked with tears but she didn’t let it fall. She didn’t want to lose whatever she had with Kai’Sa. Or Akali. Or Evelynn.

This was the most that she can do right now, and she hoped it was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blackpink's Stay just makes me cry sometimes!
> 
> Asscanon #10: Evelynn can eat anything with a neutral face. /Anything/
> 
> Asscanon #11: Ahri loves freshly laundered bed sheets. Who cares if it has to be done again? More warmth!
> 
> Asscanon #12: Evelynn aside from Kai’Sa, is the most educated out of all the members of K/DA. Centuries worth of knowledge neatly tucked away in her brain. 
> 
> Asscanon #13: Because of how often Evelynn and Ahri have physically fought each other, they both have black belts in jujitsu. Less blood has been spilt but egos have been bruised. Lashers and tails may be used in their matches. The winner so far? Evelynn. 
> 
> Ahri claims she cheated. 
> 
> Asscanon #14: Akali prefers to be called ‘handsome’ than ‘pretty’. She thinks it’s more flattering and sounds more genuine from those who love her style.
> 
> Will I ever tell the Prague story? Maybe...?
> 
> Will there be another chapter tomorrow...yesssh :3


	7. Intentional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai'Sa remembers a happier Ahri. And also a chivalrous one at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahri's blue eyes are contacts. Yep. That's it!
> 
> Amber eyes = Ahri
> 
> Golden eyes = Evelynn
> 
> Remember my Ahri's is more canonically Korean, so as a leader she is has a more softer, quieter personality unless the playful side is brought out by her bandmates.

**Later that night…**

After their drive together, Akali and Evelynn had already voiced that they were going out for the evening. They wouldn’t be going anywhere in Seoul, but taking a late night drive into the countryside. 

  
Kai'Sa said she wanted to at least prep dinner first before she fully showered (already taking a rinse at the studio), offering the joint bathroom to be used by Ahri first. 

“Take your time, there’s some prep work to be done.”

Ahri shuffled away and it gave Kai’Sa some time to deal with her thoughts. It was certainly strange to see Ahri so unexpectedly timid after the events that happened this week. Considering her usual playful, upbeat personality, she expected Ahri to force the happy persona until she was so fake that it would crack under much prodding. 

_‘I guess faking happiness is rather tame in comparison to this?’_

She tapped her chin thoughtfully, rummaging around the kitchen thinking about what she could make for the two of them. Ironically, she started to make her leader’s favourite. Seaweed soup. 

_‘Something simple.’_ Kai’Sa reasons. _‘Simple sounds perfect.’_

She chopped the meat, the seaweed in bite size pieces, knowing that Ahri’s appetite lately was small. Big cuts of food would only make her nauseous. She strays from strong ordorous foods, even putting away the kimchi that she would normally serve on the side.

Her hands reach to brew chamomile, hoping that it would help ease the tension that Ahri was exuding in waves. As she works with dinner, she thinks about Ahri. 

The roles were quite in reverse when they had first met. To think it has been about three years since it they had met. And three years since the Kai'Sa had fallen hard.

Xxx

**Before K/DA’s official debut...**

_Kai’Sa wanted her symbiote to quite literally bury her six feet into the ground when she first saw the Seoul's It Girl. Ahri. Smack dab in the middle of the street, in front of her dance studio._

_It was just...what were the odds?_

_She remembered that she couldn’t keep her the red hue from her cheeks and it was oh so very prominent. All the years of ballet did not save her reputation as she quite literally gawked at Ahri when she proposed the idea of a new girl group._

_Ahri had literally stepped in her space, and lifted a finger to teasingly close her mouth for her._

_“Foxy got your tongue?”_

_She nodded dumbly. “Oh god…”_

_Evelynn coughed in her hands, “Thirst hoe! Ahem!”_

_The gumiho rounded on her friend and swatted the cackling succubus with her tail, “Whatever you thirst trap. Anyways...Kai’Sa would you love to work with us? Create something beautiful?”_

_Ahri looked at her, literally a stranger, with eyes that were amber and bright. Her lips curled into a smile that she could only mirror in return.  
_

_‘How could I say no to that playful grin?’ And she never regrets saying yes._

_Eventually three months had passed since everyone agreed to move in together. The two eldest women had revealed that they own a manor in the outskirts of Seoul that will give them a decent amount of privacy but also accessible enough to reach the city within a 30 minutes drive. Well, 15 minutes if Evelynn was taking the wheel._

_The dancer was aware of how much money the former solo artists had, but when it slipped that their wealth had spanned centuries, she had to let the lavish gifts slide along with the unneeded renovations that seemed to happened at least once a month to fit a certain someone's aesthetic. Surprisingly, it was Akali's taste that were always changing.  
_

_"And just how much money do you have lying around?"_

_Evelynn tapped her chin, "I don't know...I stop counting after robbing the Vatican dry."_

_"You what?!"_

_"Ahri did it too, she's the one that toppled the Michelangelo's statue of David!" Evelynn ratted. Ahri who was lounging on the couch, just gave her a peace sign her eyes still glued to her fashion magazine.  
_

_"It's literally a statuesque dick pic. No one needs to see it." Ahri said grinning as Akali gave her a high-five._

_'She didn't even deny it!'_

_"Ahri...you didn't." Kai'Sa said with her head in her hands at the utter blase response.  
_

_"Ahri did." The gumiho quipped._

_If Evelynn splurged her many muscle cars, Akali with her temporary tattoos and kunai knives, and Ahri with her scented concoctions; she would fill another space. Turns out it was cooking._

_While Evelynn and Ahri were busy dominating different spheres of the world, they had little time (or it took too much their personal time) to learn something as complicated as cooking. Akali, however, as the youngest of her dojo and the youngest in the K/DA household gets a free pass and was always fortunate to be fed by others. But thankfully Akali was more than happy to help in the kitchen and playfully steal bites in between._ _So she takes the roles as resident chef, citing that she and Akali should at least have decent meals wheareas Evelynn and Ahri don't necessarily need to eat food as often. Damn their inhumane metabolism. Even if they didn't eat, they were present at every meal, eating a normal human fill and they praising Kai'Sa like she create the heavens with her food._

_Like her travels Kai'sa tries anything and everything. From Southeast Asian cuisine to Aboriginal, food was just one way that she can find her way to connect to her bandmates. And she was grateful that they always leave their plates and their hearts open to her._

_To show her gratitude for housing her and Akali she wanted to make something a little more personal for Ahri. After she made dinner, she shyly held behind her back a small bag of cookies that she made for Ahri. The dancer had to scour multiple past interviews in order to find a rough recipe that Ahri claimed was the best for almond cookies. Luckily for her she always liked making known recipes with her own added flair. After taking out some ingredients and adding her own, along with several foxy cookie cutters it was all wrapped in purple wrapping and with a little white bow._

_It was so extra, at least that’s what Evelynn said when caught sight of Kai'Sa baking in the something odd hours of the morning. But she was really hoping. Hoping that her...gratitude was showing._

_“Awh Bokkie, why would you never do that for me?” Akali whined once. “I love your baked goods too.”_

_Evelynn chuckled, “She’s not trying to impress you now is she?”_

_Kai'sa pouted but didn't argue against her. The recipient of her gift,_ _Ahri, was sitting on the other end of the table, sipping her tea. Her toothy grin hidden by the rim of the teacup._

_"Thank you Bokkie." Her tail curled playfully around the wrapped cookie bag, before eyeing the smug look on Evelynn's face,“Surely in time, she’ll grow tired of me. I’ll soak up all her attention now.”_

_Akali whined some more, trying to swipe some almond cookies from the plate in front of Ahri. Ahri bared her fangs and nipped at the grabby hands._

_"No touchy my cookies."_

_“Ouch! Eveeeeeeee!” Akali shoved her finger in Evelynn's face, "The fox bit me."  
_

_Evelynn with her wry smile, tenderly took the hand and kissed the nipped finger tip. She rounded on her toothy best-friend and quiped._ _“Down mutt, I need those fingers for tonight at least..."_

_“E-Evelynn!” Kai’Sa sputtered._

_The succubus shrugged clearly unbothered at the statement. Akali just slammed her head on the table trying to hide her own blush, while Ahri let out a full belly laugh. Amber eyes looked up to bashful purple ones from her place at the table, and mouthed a simple ‘Thank you.’_

_When Evelynn and Akali weren't looking, Ahri to her charming grace, didn’t flash her signature finger heart and wink, like she did with everyone else. Instead the gumiho would take her hand, and kissed the back of them.  
_

_And so their little special bond began. Her hands shook whenever she baked or made foods that were, “kinda, technically, specifically” suited for Ahri’s taste. Ahri always accepted them with a smile and a small blush of her own._

_Kai’Sa cheeks were painted red the rest of the morning and every morning after that.  
_

_xxx  
_

_The dancer wanted to pass off that gesture as a one time thing. Yet, it wasn’t a one time thing._

_It happened again and again and again. After a long day of practice, after finishing an intrusive interview. At some point her hand would be taken by the gumiho and a kissed was placed._

_All away from prying eyes and ears.  
_

_The gumiho would utter her thanks in a whisper, press her lips against the skin and then pull away. Her touch wouldn’t linger, but Kai’Sa swears that the effect had an imprint in her heart._

_Kai’Sa knew that this was special._

_It was a move that Ahri never played it up for the cameras or for the fans or even for their bandmates. Ahri’s actions are almost always intentional. And most of all meaningful._

_Yet Kai’Sa still finds herself frustrated._ _Ahri was just painfully, painfully polite. Accepting Kai’Sa’s gifts with that charming smile of hers, and those stupid handholds and hand kisses made her scream into her pillows more often at night._ _Those beautiful amber eyes were watchful but never predatory, it made her safe and loved._

_Was it just a crush that Kai'Sa finds the need to find meaning in every action the gumiho does? Has she really gone off the deep end?_

_The dancer was curious on why Ahri would do such a thing. It made her blush yes. Her heart raced and even her symbiote preened at the gesture._

_During a private dance rehearsal with Akali, she just blurts out_ , _“Why do you think Ahri does it?”_

_“Cuuuuz she’s old as hell and doesn’t know how to get with the times.” Akali grumped as she did her pushups next to Kai’Sa who was in her downward dog yoga pose._

_“Kali I’m serious, it drives me insane and it’s so sweet. And it’s not like she does this with anyone else right?”_

_Akali flipped from her prone position into a handstand and continued with her pushups._

_“Bokkie, just enjoy it." She grunts as she does a set before landing on her feet. She held a hand to the dancer and pulled her to her feet._ _Wiping off the sweat with a towel, she gave Kai'Sa one of her rare smiles that is somewhere along pride and adoration._

_"Try not to get worked up with all the details. I trust that she wouldn't do it if it meant hurting you Kai-Kai."_

_"Hey...who the fuck are you calling Kai-Kai ya lil' shit?!"_

_"OH! SO AHRI-UNNIE GETS TO DO IT BUT NOT ME!?"_

_"YOU SHOULD BE CALLING ME UNNIE TOO!"_

_"NAH TOO MUCH OF A TIER THREE SUB TO BE WORTHY OF IT!"_

_"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"_

  
  


xxx

_But it was also hard to enjoy it. While Evelynn and Akali teased her relentlessly, Ahri paid no mind to it. If anything it was as if Ahri was 'almost' blissfully unaware. She didn’t join in with the teasing, but she didn’t dismiss it either._

_So one night, she find her nerve to ask when the two of them were alone in the kitchen making dumpling in preparation for Christmas._

_“Why do you do it?”_

_Ahri’s ears flicked and she cocked her head to the side, “Do what?”_

_"You know what." Kai'Sa pouted. The dancer clicked her tongue when she realized that her dumpling dough was too short for her meat portion. She rolled a fresh piece and patted it back and forth till it was the appropriate size. Her fingers were lithe and gentle as she made perfect pleats before setting them aside in the frying pan._ _“The hand thing.”_

_"Ah. The 'hand thing'. " Ahri chuckled, turning the wrap over in her hand as she made the her less-than-tidy pleats for the dumpling. “Do you dislike it?”_

_“I-I do-don’t dislike.” Kai’Sa stammered, she averted her eyes at the sight of a playful grin.“It’s just...not what I’m used to. You’re not so...physically affectionate.”_

_Ahri voice, light and airy, responded softly, “It’s not that I don’t like being affectionate. I can't be with Evelynn. Because it’s Evelynn. And then Akali reeks of Evelynn.”_

_Kai’Sa let out a laugh without meaning to, as she placed the dumplings in the drying pain, letting it sizzle, “Really? ”_

_Ahri wrinkled her nose at the reminder, “I love Evelynn but there’s only so much perfume and sex my poor nose can take.”_

_Ahri hip checked Kai’Sa and the dancer smiled._ _Then the tone was still laced with warmth._

_“I like giving you attention,” Ahri said simply reaching to hold Kai’Sa dumpling powdered hand, “But I will never ask you to do more than you’re willing to give. Foods and treats are enough. Having you here is **enough**."_

_Kai'Sa squeezed the hand in hers. Her fingers moved to trace the gumiho's slightly smaller ones. The dancer could feel the slight callouses from hours of guitar pracetice. But there was also a weathered feel to it. Ahri has spent thousands of years, dominating the world by storm. And yet here she was, holding her hand as if she was glass, something to keep delicately._

_Kai'Sa looked up to see that Ahri's ears were low, her tail thumping rhythmically against the counter. It was one of those rare times that Ahri even looked remotely nervous. The grip in her hand though was steady and calm.  
_

_Her heart pounded._

_“So, is this okay?”_

_Rather than trust the words that would come out of her mouth,_ _Kai’Sa flicked powder in her face and laughed at the indignant look on Ahri’sa face._

_Moments later, the kitchen was dirty, powder everywhere and dumplings half completed. They both had powder smudged against their cheeks, their ribs hurt from laughing. The dancer had her arms caging Ahri against the sink to keep the mischievous fox from throwing more flour in her hair.  
_

_Ahri looked at her with a playful yet defiant look in her eyes. "Oh so is that a no?"_

_As annoying as it was to know that they had a lot to clean, Kai'Sa shook her head and let out a laugh.The air shifted slightly. Maybe it was the smell of sizzling sesame seed oil in the air, or the ridiculous state of their clothes or the the look of Ahri's face softening into something that looks like adoration.  
_

_She was deeply in the thick of it. Deeply pulled into Ahri's orbit._

_Kai'Sa in her moment of bravada pressed her forehead against Ahri's and whispered, "It's more than okay."_

_The gumiho underneath her didn't move. Her posture was relaxed and comfortable. Kai'Sa hummed at the feeling of her symbiote practically doing backflips above her shoulder. She hopes that Ahri doesn't see. She wanted this moment to last just a little longer._

_Of course the moment had to be ruined when Ahri giggled, "Kai'Sa I think our food is burning."_

_"Fuck!"_

xxx

**Present....**

Broken out of her thoughts, Kai’Sa realized that she had stopped chopping. She looked down quickly to her relief she did not nick her fingers while cutting. With a deep breath she tried to not let her thoughts escape her for too long. 

Thinking of _past_ Ahri, makes her heart pound with love. 

Thinking about about _current_ Ahri, it makes her heart ache in concern.

Instead of the charming, confident and chivalrous Ahri, Kai’Sa knew that there was something reserved and vulnerable inside. As a Void-spawn she is aware of those feelings that can crawl out at the most unexpected moments of time. It pains her to see Ahri look so confused, lost and scared. Scared to linger around the people she cares about. 

Her symbiote crooned quietly as if to comfort her. 

_'Probably pent up anxiety? I_ _s it the role as leader and the face of K/DA?'_

“Patience, I trust Ahri.” She nudged her cannon.

  
It was after Kai'Sa adds some salt and pepper to the soup base that the dancer noticed there was someone else in her kitchen. She can easily pick up one of the girl's strides based on the sound. 

Evelynn even without her heels has a purposeful stride. Graceful but with a bite to it, just like her personality.

Akali most times has a sluggish stride, but it had more of a bounce to it. Normally, she was bopping to whatever music that suited her fancy for the day.

But it was soundless, which meant only one person. 

Ahri.

  
Kai'Sa tried to not make a fuss and continued with her cooking. She stirred slowly so as to not bring alarm. Even humming a little to not raise suspicion. Luckily the soup was good and technically done. There was no need for her to leave her spot. Thankfully, her phone was already playing soft music in the background so it wouldn't be too quiet.

**"It's a beautiful life...**   
**난 너의 곁에 있을게..."**

She had to roll her eyes, at the song lyrics.

_'Of course it would be this one. And one of my favourites and Ahri's too.'_

The dancer could feel Ahri stepping closer. There was a shift in the air, something like nervousness. 

A tug on the back end of her jumper. It was barely there, Kai'Sa would've missed it. Warm arms warped around her waist, the Ahri’s hands interlocking themselves instead of resting on Kai’Sa’s stomach. 

_'That wouldn’t do.'_

Kai'Sa gently reached down and rubbed the Ahri's interlocked hands trailing to the gumiho's inner wrist. Coaxing them to relax. Her thumb pressed on the palm, rubbing it in meaningful circles.

When Ahri finally pulled her own hands apart, Kai'Sa guided them to rest on her abs. The symbiote preened at the touch, chirping from their position on Kai’Sa’s shoulder. It was only after a few moments that Ahri pressed her body completely against Kai'Sa's back. Kai'Sa stifled a giggle as she felt nine soft tails wrap around her legs and ankles with Ahri's nose pressed gently against the middle of her back.

Kai'Sa could hear Ahri trying to take slow calming breaths. 

But then she can feel the gumiho’s body tremble. Kai'Sa turned the stove off and kept her one hand on Ahri's wrist and continued to make soothing circles. 

She wouldn’t turn around yet.

“Kai… I’m so sorry.”

She was floored.

“I should’ve never shut you out like that. I was - I should’ve let you in and help me.”

Even in her distress, Ahri's hold on Kai'Sa waist never tightened. She didn’t want to take more. She didn’t feel like she deserved to hold the dancer so close. 

Kai'Sa kept circling the trembling wrist, her other hand pressed against the counter to keep them both standing. It was only after Ahri stopped trembling that she finally turned around. Ahri's lip was bruised from how long she bit down with her fangs. Her eyes were swollen slightly and there was a pink hue on her face. Kai'Sa wondered if she had a fever. Kai’Sa left hand came up to loosen the tension in Ahri’s jaw, to release the bruised lip from it’s fanged captive. The warmth in her hand also told her that Ahri was also having a temperature. Her heart breaks, when Ahri held onto that hand, letting a tear fall.

"I'm so sorry." Amber eyes looked at her own with unshed tears.

“I accept your apology.” Kai'Sa calmly added, the thumb now running on her cheek, "You have a fever Foxy...you need some rest."

Ahri shook her head, wincing a little and loosened her grip on Kai'Sa hips, choosing to hug herself this time. “I - I needed to tell you. “

“I heard you. And I’m not going anywhere.” The dancing frowning at Ahri pulling away from her grasp.

“I need to make it up to you.”

“I forgive you.” Kai'Sa said simply, walking closer to her, “I don’t need anything.”

Ahri wanted to protest and Kai’sa shushed her gently, pressing her forehead against the gumiho's, “Shhhh. Baby, what do _you_ need?”

Ahri swallowed a sob, her voice shaky and exhausted, “I don’t know. I’m so tired but I don’t want to think. And I just can’t sleep…I can’t sleep...without...worrying if you...”

_'If you hate me. If you would leave me behind.'_

She trailed off. She didn't want her thoughts to manifest into something real. Her head pounded, she needed, _needed_ Kai'Sa to know that she wants to be forgiven.

Kai'Sa with a tender smile reached forward and grabbed the trembling hand, “Let’s get you to bed.”

Ahri pulled her hand back, “I c-can’t sleep. The mental notes...the mental notes won’t stop.”

Kai'Sa leaned in enough to whisper, "Leave my leader alone, begone thoughts. She's forgiven and I adore her. "

The gumiho gave a wet laugh, pressing her nose on her shoulder just to cry a little, sinking back into those open arms. The dancer rocked them back and forth to the sounds of simmering soup, the sound that was playing on repeat and Ahri giggling at the simple rocking.

When they finally pulled apart, they had softer smiles on their face. Their hearts finally lighter.

The dancer leaned down and pressed her forehead against the gumiho's once more.

"Let's go to bed?"

Ahri nodded, finally feeling the exhausted sinking into her skin. Then Kai'Sa walked behind the gumiho and gently nudged her up the stairs. Ahri, not having the energy to push back, found herself being guided toward not her room, but Kai’Sa’s.

Ahri then found herself in one of Kai'Sa sweaters and some black short-shorts.

She originally protested the thought of taking her clothes. But her teeth chattered either from nerves or the draft that was cooling the K/DA manor despite no open windows. Kai’Sa didn’t even seem to acknowledge it at first when she went to shower briefly and change into her own sleeping wear. Ahri was sitting patiently at the foot of the bed, looking at her feet, hating that her tail was rubbing itself up and down her leg for warmth. 

When she sees bare feet in her peripheral, she looks up to see a freshly showered Kai’Sa holding out one of her trademark purple sweaters.

Her arms and head slipped through the cotton easily, sighing at how soft it was. She let the subtle smell of Kai'Sa natural scent and grapefruits calm her whirling emotions. It was loose on her considering Kai'Sa’s height, the sleeves rolling past her dainty wrists and the ends of the sweater reaching her mid thigh. If she wanted, she could loop her tail inside the sweater as well for extra warmth. 

The dancer smiled, “Comfy now?”

Mute, she nodded. She nuzzles the collar humming quietly. 

Kai'Sa was closing the curtains and turning off the lights, going about her nightly routine. Ahri took this as a sign to climb on to the bed. Her hands ran through the sheets, smoothing them out. Her tail curled around her waist to keep calm. 

Kai'Sa climbed into bed and laid propped against her many pillows. She had her arms out, coaxing Ahri to fall into them. 

Ahri paused, her ears flattened in worry. She crawled over and slowly settled into Kai'Sa's warm embrace. She kept her tail limp and away from Kai'Sa's body and she kept her hands in fists so that she wouldn’t run her fingers on K’s body.

Purple eyes softened at Ahri’s stiff form in her half embrace the half-embrace.

Assuming the vulpine ears were off limits she instead focused on working off tension off Ahri's body as gently as possible. 

Her hands focused on keeping Ahri comfortable by gently running a hand up and down Ahri's back. She strayed from touching any lower than she needs to, being mindful of the tail at the base of her spine. 

_‘Boundaries.’_ Kai'Sa reminded herself.

Ahri shivered at the foreign touch but the tension was slowly loosening. Her cheek rubbed against the cotton of Kai'Sa shirt, her ears resting on her snuggler's chest. The steady heartbeat made Ahri's eyes flutter to a close. It reminds her of something that was always in reach. When Kai'Sa noticed that Ahri's hands were no longer in a fists, this time the dancer interlaced her fingers with the gumiho. Her thumb brushing against the back of Ahri's hand, to help soothe tight muscles.

And she kept her ministrations for as long as she could. 

It was quiet except for their breath and the occasional howl of the wind. Kai'Sa was fighting the urge to sleep, but the lull of Ahri’s breathing, her weight and her warmth on top of her body was enough to put her in a light doze.

Then there was something new. 

There was a soft sound that filled the room and in her doze she realized one thing. Like the sound of hundreds of marbles hitting a carpet floor. Kai'Sa wracked her brain on where it was coming from until she realized there was a slight rhythmic buzzing sensation on her collarbone. 

It was Ahri. 

Ahri was purring. 

It was soft and adorable and Kai'Sa had to fight off a smile. 

_‘But was she asleep?’_

She opened one eye to see that Ahri had finally finally slipped into sleep. 

Ahri’s grip was limp in her hand but remained interlaced. Her head was nuzzling Kai'Sa’s collarbone letting the purrs vibrate against the dancer. 

_‘She’s so precious.‘_

The hand that was on her back reached to press against Ahri’s forehead. Low grade fever. But it was low nonetheless. 

She maneuvered them gently so that Kai'Sa can also lie flat and then send a one handed message to the group. 

xxx

**In group chat: Not Blonde Squad...**

  
  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** She’s finally sleeping.

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** how?

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** She’s sleeping next to me

  
  
  


**Akali:** dats gaaaaaaay. but valid

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** you were like that too kali

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** She came to say that she was sorry. Back hug, tails and all.

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** oh? that’s interesting

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** Interesting how???

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** She denies a lot of her foxy nature, except the meat obviously. Didn’t want to seem so...feral. It’s a good thing. 

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** She needed to let it out with me interrupting her.

  
  
  


**Akali:** so..is the dog house bit over now?

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** Yes Rogue, I had already forgiven her. Are you okay with that?

  
  
  


**Akali:** ofc i am, i want ahri to feel better!

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** You were glaring a lot the past couple of days. >_<

  
  
  


**Akali:** she needed to know i was serious about protecting you.

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** I’m a big girl Akali…she’s been punished enough. 

  
  
  


**Akali:** eve would do the same if she wasn’t safe-worded.

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** She’s right, I would do so much worse. Oh well. Since you left, I made sure to turn off the stove, before we go upstairs do you need anything?

  
  
  


**Akali:** ill leave some medicine on the bedside table and water

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** Thanks Kali. And bring some soup and crackers too Eve please. Oh and a wet washcloth for Ahri’s fever. 

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** Anything darling. Goodnight. 

  
  
  


**Ka’Sa:** Goodnight.

  
  
  


Xxx

  
  


She heard voices later in her light doze. 

“Wow that’s _really_ gay. “

“Shush darling. Put those on the table. Kai’Sa, darling if you can hear me we’re done for the night.”

Kai’Sa let out a sleepy grunt in confirmation. 

A wet smack of lips pressed against her forehead along with an obnoxious poke in her cheek. 

The kiss had to be Evelynn. The poke had to be Akali. 

There was a small whimper below her, Akali must’ve put the damp cloth on Ahri’s forehead. 

Kai’Sa resumed her back pats to soothe her. She smiled when the gumiho scooted closer wanting to be bathed in warmth. She felt the fur of a tail or was it nine (?) moving to curl around her calves. 

“ _Gaaaaaaaaaay.”_

Another hearty chuckle, then she felt the covers being pulled over both their shoulders and the final click of her door closing. 

“Kai…

A sleepy mumble.

“Hmm?”

“안전한…”

It was a shame that Kai’Sa was sleepy. If she was, she would’ve spent more time trying to decipher the word. 

But with Ahri wrapped in her arms, definitions can come later. 

It was time to rest. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #15: Ahri and Evelynn can say those really cheesy lines, because technically they can...
> 
> "I've waited hundreds of years to find love as pure as this..."
> 
> Asscanon #16: Ahri and Akali like to take baths in their bathhouse together, as it's part of East Asian culture. Evelynn and Kai'Sa (unless it's their significant other) are a little bath shy when it comes to other people present.
> 
> Asscanon #17: Order of flexibility via the splits: Kai'Sa, Ahri, Akali and Evelynn.
> 
> Asscanon #18: Order of maths expertise:  
> Akali: Algebra II (I know she doesn't math, but she gotta do some maths to help Evelynn and her cars)  
> Kai'Sa: Trigonometry (because her cannons are nice and symmetrical)  
> Ahri and Evelynn: Calculus
> 
> Asscanon #19: When Ahri, Akali and Kai'Sa argue they often misinterpret each other quite often comically. Too many languages to keep track of. Evelynn knows how to speak multiple languages but likes to mentally check out because deciphering makes her granny brain hurt sometimes. 
> 
> "You called me a what?!"
> 
> "It doesn't mean that way in Japanese!"
> 
> "It does mean that in Korean!"
> 
> "That word doesn't exist in Chinese!"
> 
> Take your pick on who speaks who :D I kinda wanna know. I mean it could be obvious but I can surprise you!
> 
> And Merry Christmas Eve! :D And Happy Hanukkah and Kwanza!


	8. Moments with Maknae-Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri and Akali have a moment. Kind of. Evelynn and Kai’Sa have a moment. Kind of. A lot of screaming. Insta is involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember my Ahri's is more canonically Korean, so as a leader she is has a more softer, quieter personality unless the playful side is brought out by her bandmates.
> 
> Akali casually slips into Korean easily when it's just the pair of them alone.

**The following morning…**

  
  


Ahri wakes up first, her amber eyes blinking. Her limbs felt heavy and limp from her deep sleep, and her mind still foggy. Unhappy that she was awake, she turned her nose to the softness and grumbled.

Then she was drowning in the scent of grapefruit and peaches. It was heavenly, her nose nudged against the softness of cotton. She blinked again, realizing that she was on top of someone. Her ears twitched when she heard the subtle whistle-like snore and then her heart melted. 

She knows that sound.

_Kai’Sa._

Her eyes fluttered closed. 

There was no need to be afraid of Kai’Sa. Ahri was safe. 

The hand that was on her clothed back was a tether, she felt grounded. 

Warm. 

She wiggled her hands, to find that her left hand was wrapped loosely in Kai’Sa’s. Lithe and gentle against her own calloused hands. The half-awake gumiho drags the hand closer to her mouth to leave a kiss to it. 

_‘Kai’Sa…’_

Ahri then tries to wriggle her tails, but finds that her limbs won’t cooperate. She could feel that all of her tails were intertwined around Kai’Sa’s legs and her own. Encased in their own warm bubble. 

A whole bubble of warmth. Something that Ahri had _always_ wanted. 

She lets out a purr without meaning to, loving how the hand on her back moves sluggishly up and down, even like Kai’Sa was deep in her slumber. 

Sleep was fading, and Ahri was slowly letting her body wake up. But she was more than content to bask in this embrace just a little while longer. There was some groaning, and some wriggling, Ahri waited patiently. 

Groggy eyes fluttered open, wincing at the sudden light. Her voice thick with sleep, the thick accent seeping through. Kai’Sa leans up, and readjust them so that she is leaning against her headboard. With her eyes closed, Kai’Sa slowly reaches to cup her the gumiho’s cheek cheek, her heart doing somersaults when Ahri leans into the touch.

“Morning…” Kai’Sa said with a slight slur, satisfied by the weight in her hand.

“G’morning.” Ahri whispered, humming a little as Kai’Sa’s hands added more pressure on her lower back. Sleepy mussed up hair, their clothes all wrinkled and out of place. Her nine tails swishing lazily in the air, Ahri’s body language exuded comfort. 

“Not cold?”

Ahri shook her head.

“Please tell me it’s not 5:30 A.M...” Kai’Sa fumbled for her phone on the bed stand, wincing as the bright lights invaded her eyes. “5:20 A.M…”

Ahri giggled. She didn’t know that Kai’Sa was quite grumpy in the morning. 

“Let’s brush our teeth and come back?” Kai’sa whispered into the air, her eyes still closed. 

They both slumped to the bathroom to rid themselves of morning breath and then Ahri crawled back on the bed lying on her side, nicking one of the head pillows to cradle in her arms, still wrapped in that purple hoodie. She brought the collar to her nose and took a deep breath. 

It still smells like grapefruits and peaches. 

“It’s my new shampoo.” Kai’Sa she said, crawling back into bed. 

She murmured if it was okay to hug around her back.

Ahri scoots so that Kai’Sa’s front is flushed against her back, long arms looped against her waist loosely, in case she needs to wriggle free.

“They actually ran out of the one that I normally used.” She sleepily finishes the thought. 

“I love it.” The gumiho replied quietly, while hooking her leg around Kai’Sa’s bringing them closer. 

Ahri yelps when she feels a hand against her forehead. 

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just checking. You’re still a little warm but you seem alright.”

The hand moves back on her hip. 

“You do realize I survived the plague right?” Ahri grumped, amber eyes finally closing. The one of her nine tails, thumping on the bed in a rhythm.

“And you went down for the count after a fever, no sleep and no food.” An unimpressed tone filled the air, the free hand patting Ahri’s hip lightly. “I’m _so_ terrified of this gumiho. _Ah save me_.”

Ahri turns over in her arms, so that they are face to face. She looked at her with a scowl, but it was kind of pointless. Kai’Sa’s were still closed, but her face was amused. 

The gumiho says nothing except give a low displeased chuff at the poke on her honour. Her own hand moves forward to cup Kai’Sa’s cheek. 

Purple eyes finally open, half-lidded from the lulls of sleep. Ahri can smell fresh mint and the traces of peach flavored chapstick. 

“Hi…”

“Hi…”

It was soft and warm. 

She feels Kai’Sa shuffle so that she could press her forehead against Ahri’s. She felt a shiver travel down her spine at this intimate gesture. 

The gumiho wonders quietly if Kai’Sa knew what this gesture meant. Probably not. 

“Ahri, I do forgive you.” 

The ache in her heart should’ve felt healed yesterday with the admission. But since no longer Ahri was plagued by exhaustion and fear, the words warmed her heart. 

“I’m just worried that whatever you’re holding back is hurting you and it worries me.”

Ahri's ears drooped, moving to tuck her head against Kai’Sa’s collar in her shame. A finger lifted her chin so that Kai’Sa was peering down at her. 

“It was scary watching you like that baby. “

Ahri closed her eyes and shuddered remembering the awful sinking feeling in her chest. She faintly remembers the fear in the voices of her members. That alone was more terrifying than not being able to breathe. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll do better.” She affirms quietly. 

Kai’Sa pursed her lips, like she wanted to say more. But otherwise changed the direction of the conversation. 

“Talk to me, if it ever gets too much okay? And it means I get to spoil you a little till you feel better.” Kai’Sa said simply, squeezing her hip a little bit, pulling the sweater down as it rode up. 

Ahri sighed with a smile before closing her eyes again, “You sure you’re not the leader of this house? Ordering me around like this...”

“I should be, by how often I feed everyone here.” The snark is still evident in her slurred voice.

“If you’re the leader, then what am I?” Ahri said half-jokingly.

“You’re...” 

An elongated pause. 

Another kiss to the back of one’s hand. The gumiho’s heart dropped slightly at the silence. 

“Bad joke Kai-Kai.” Ahri said quietly, before moving closer so that her ears tickled the dancer’s chin. She safely assumes that the taller woman had fallen asleep thinking. 

“You’re my North Star. Hopelessly fixated in your orbit.”

If there was any other lingering sensation of guilt, it finally left her. 

A happy purr was her only reply.

  
  


//

  
  
  
  


They napped again until it was nearly midday. By then Ahri’s fever breaks, and the pair decide to spend the rest of their afternoon lounging on the couch instead.The gumiho dutifully takes her medicine, eats her soup, and is back to half laying on Kai’Sa.

Their quiet afternoon was slightly disrupted by the sounds of clicking heels. Kai’sa was surprised by Evelynn’s request to accompany her on an errand. Kai’Sa looks down at Ahri’s sleepy pout, but the succubus promised it wouldn’t take so long. 

“Down Foxy, I’ll have your dear dancer back in one piece.” Evelynn said, rolling her eyes, twirling her keys in her claws. Her mask already plastered across her face, ready to be safe, quick and clean.

Ahri said nothing and swatted her friend with her tail. 

Kai’Sa takes the gumiho’s hand and runs a hand through it, “I’ll also stock up on some cold medicine. You want anything ba-Ahri?”

She sits forward, standing up to stretch before going to the closest to grab a coat. Seoul had been dry and cold the closer September came. 

Evelynn’s ears perked at the name, she hid a smirk, by covering her face with her lasher.

“Just be careful. I don’t trust saesangs even in this pandemic.” 

Ahri goes into the same closet. She pulls a red scarf, shyly wraps it around Kai’Sa’s neck.

“Stay warm.”

“Always.”

Evelynn groaned out loud and rolled her eyes, “Bokkie dear…”

“Coming Eve!”

  
  


//

  
  


When the two slid into the car, Evelynn smirked at the blushing dancer.

“So…is it _baby_ or _Ahri_ now?”

“Oh just shut up and drive, you thirst trap.”

Evelynn chuckled before starting up the car and pulling out the driveway into Seoul.

  
  
  


//

  
  


Ahri spends the rest of her afternoon, fading in and out of sleep. She _might’ve_ overdid it with the dance practice just last night. Sunlight trickles in just right so that there was a ray of sunshine warming up her lower waist. 

The T.V was playing some melodramatic K-drama inthe background, but it offered a small amount of comfort in the stillness of the afternoon. Her ears swiveled for any other sounds, but when she heard nothing, she let her eyes close just a moment. 

_‘Maybe the rest wasn’t so bad afterall.’_

  
  


//

**In another room…**

  
  


_Ping! Ping_!

**In a private message between an Eevee and Akali:**

  
  
  
  


**Eevee:** Kali darling? Can you check on your Unnie in an hour or two? She might still have a temp

  
  
  


**Kali:** where’s kai-kai?

  
  
  


**Eevee:** She’s with me right now, we’re out shopping. Give her some medicine and tea and cuddle with her says Kai’Sa 

  
  
  


**Kali:** kk

  
  


//

Akali stumbles in the living room about an hour or two later, looking disheveled. She had spent the better part of her morning in the mini-recording room of the K/DA manor. Since MORE was supposed to have individual songs, Akali was thinking of perfected the lyrics.

She clicked her tongue at the memory of all the crumpled pieces of paper littering the room. She makes note to take care of that and recycle, otherwise Kai’Sa was going to have a mini fit over it. 

She walks to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and fish out some medicine capsules for Ahri to take. 

“Unnie…

Ahri was half awake in her doze. 

A hand was placed against her forehead and she heard a sigh of relief. She feels the throw blanket being placed on her waist, covering her legs and her tail being moved slightly so it wouldn’t be pinched. 

Blearily, amber eyes looked to see it was Akali who was sitting with her on the couch. Her legs were propped on the maknae’s lap, while the maknae herself was reclined thanks to the couch settings. 

It was comfy but Ahri wasn’t expecting Akali to be in her presence. 

What was it she called it? The dog house?

Her eyes lazily drifted to her maknae face. There was a slight red tint. 

Was Akali flustered?

The sound of pinging noises was made. It was the game that Akali was playing. 

It was some farming simulator. It was calming and soothing and not so obstructive. Ahri is aware that Akali likes her first person shooter games like Overwatch but this was a nice surprise. 

  
  


_Ping! Ping!_

  
  


Annoyed that she didn’t leave her phone on silent, she reached for the phone on the floor before opening it to see it was a message from Evelynn.

  
  
//  
  
  


**In group chat OG Diva + Foxy...**

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** is Akali there with you?

  
  
  


**Ahri:** yup

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** good. 

  
  
  


**Ahri:** wae?

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** she wants time with her other favourite /unnie/

  
  
  


**Ahri:** Ew. I don’t need to know she had an unnie-kink

  
  
  


**Evelynn:** nah it’s a mommy kink ;)

  
  
  
  


Ahri snorted. 

  
  
  
  


**Ahri:** Grossssssssssss. Go away your making my head hurt again

  
  
  
  


**Evelynn:** But you are feeling better? Kai’Sa keeps asking.

  
  
  
  


**Ahri** : She won’t text me? My fever is gone and I’m on the couch watching Akali play. 

  
  
  
  


**Evelynn:** She lost a bet, so her phone is mine for the day. Sleep more foxy we’ll be home soon

//

There was no further sign that Evelynn was going to text back, so she closes the messaging app. Fingers tapped against the screen in order to read any open notifications that she had missed from her morning nap with the dancer. 

More government updates from President Moon. Stay two meters apart, contact tracing blah blah blah. 

More weird toilet paper shenanigans from Americans. _What ever happened to community sharing?_

And more updates that other idols were currently taking a hiatus from their activities due to the virus. 

It was bothersome but it couldn’t be helped. 

With a sigh, she closed the news app. 

Amber eyes scrolled upwards to see nearly fifty unread notifications from her Instagram. More tagged memes that Akali had sent her. She reads through all of them, giggling a little. It was cute. Most were pictures of foxes doing foxy stuff. Others were fan reactions from their THE BADDEST release. And some were conspiracy theories about her ears and Evelynn’s lashers. 

_‘Our fans sure like to think out of the box.’_

She taps on her profile, checking to see what was her last personal update. It was about two weeks ago, when she took a picture of the clear sky with the rest of her members leaning against the railing facing the Han River facing away from the camera. Akali was sitting on Kai’Sa’s shoulders while Evelynn was cuddling close to the dancers left side, her lasher positioned to catch the ninja if she were to fall. They didn’t know they were getting their picture taken so the picture captured a rare moment. 

Just K/DA enjoying life as best they could in this prolong confinement. 

Smiling at the memory she remembers that she hasn’t posted a selfie-ish picture in awhile. Just for fun, Ahri sneakily snaps a picture of the two of them before putting them on Instagram. 

  
  


//

***picture***

**riridafoxy** spending time with my favourite maknae @ninjafever <3 #lazyday #myfavourite

Comments:

[157 likes] but whaaaa about Kai-Kai?!?!

[390 likes] omg so soft SADKFHJ SADKLFJ ASLKDJF ALSKDF

[49 likes] ma heart ma souuuul

[1890 likes] *see translation* ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ maknae and fake-maknae spending time together

It was just a picture of her blanket covered legs with of ~~her~~ Kai'Sa's purple sweater peaking out; Akali’s expression was deadpan as she played Stardew Valley. The rogue had her hair down, except it was pushed back by a clothe headband that had tiger ears on them. They both had no makeup, so there it was a very bare-face candid moment of just the two of them. Enjoying a very lazy day together.

Ahri refreshed her Instagram, just to see a few minutes later Evelynn had posted a picture. 

//

***picture***

**allure_eve** @riridafoxy is hogging my @ninjafever, I’m taking her @deerqueen for some /quality/ time together

Comments:

[102 likes] OMG EVEEEEEEEEEEE STEP ON ME

[723 likes] *sees translation* ㅋㅋㅋ evie-nie is pulling a quick one on our dancer-line

[234 likes] YOOOO THEY SWITCHED IT UPP

See all comments...  
  


Both donning caps and bundled up in their unbuttoned trench coats and scarves to protect themselves from the cold, Evelynn was holding Kai’Sa by the waist, her claws digging at the dancer's exposed navel. The finger looping slightly into the button of her tight jeans. Leave it to Evelynn to suggest that the two of them wear crop tops with trenchcoats in a chilly August morning just for picture. Her lips were covered by the mask, but the golden eyes showed thirst and intent. They were posing in front of an semi-empty supermarket. 

Kai’Sa eyes would be best described as bashful, but she plays along with the pose by wrapping her arm around Evelynn, her hand casually resting on her breast.

She reads the comment and sees Deevas and BLADES alike sobbing and thirsting over (in her opinion) the most eye-catching members of K/DA. Evelynn and Kai'Sa both took some time to reply to all of them.

***picture***

**allure_eve** @riridafoxy is hogging my @ninjafever, I’m taking her @deerqueen for some /quality/ time together

Comments:

[102 likes] OMG EVEEEEEEEEEEE STEP ON ME

[723 likes] *sees translation* ㅋㅋㅋ evie-nie is pulling a quick one on our dancer-line

[234 likes] YOOOO THEY SWITCHED IT UPP  
  


See all comments...

 **deerqueen** Evee... now look at what you've done

 **allure_eve** got to keep them hydrated darling

//

_‘Thirst traps the both of them.’_ Her airy laugh was echoing in the living room.

  
  


“Unnie. You should rest.” Akali said sternly her eyes still transfixed on the T.V screen. Her left hand reached out palms open for the gumiho to surrender her phone. 

Ahri didn’t even have the the energy to protest. She was supposed to be resting anyways. She closed the app not without adding her own comments, that would surely send Deevas and BLADES in a fit.

See all comments...

 **deerqueen** Evee... now look at what you've done

 **allure_eve** got to keep them hydrated darling

 **riridafoxy >_< **hurry back it's cooooooooold without you

[2379 likes] WAI-T HOLD DA FUCK UP?! WHO IS SHE TALKING TO?!

She handed her phone to the youngest member and closed her eyes again. Some more plop sounds were heard and incoherent mutter from Akali. Something about giving gifts to a NPC so they can marry in the future. And something about the chickens needed to be fed. 

  
  


“Unnie?”

  
  


“Mm?”

  
  


“Saranghaeyo.”

  
  


Something so simple in a phrase from her youngest member, made her heart beat. Ahri used her tail to tickle Akali’s nose before using it to wrap around Akali’s hands affectionately. 

  
  


Akali loves pushing her leaders' buttons. But when she does shit like this? It was adorable. 

  
  


Like Akali secretly confessed to Evelynn, _“I’ll play that role for her. I want to just mess around and not be so serious all the time. She needs it. And I kinda need it too.”_

The youngest member ran a finger through the soft silken fur, smiling at how it twitched before coiling tightly against the finger. Shedding was an issue in the household. But Akali doesn’t mind, if she was honest this was her favourite thing to do with Ahri. And Akali being the exception to many things. Akali was the only one (so far) that was allowed to play or touch Ahri’s second appendages. It was akin to childlike wonder but with great care and trust. 

The tail moved and bobbed to the ninja's gentle petting, before she stopped and refocused on her game.

“Gomawo.”

Akali looked at her leader and made a small chuff noise. Ahri's eyes still closed, opened her arms and Akali fell into them naturally. The ninja was small enough so that Ahri wouldn’t get poked by boney shoulders and elbows. Safely tucked in her arms, Ahri used her free hand to run a hand through her unruly hair, her other hand wrapped around Akali’s shoulder.

“Yay!”

“You missed this?”

“I missed _you_ Unnie. This is just a nice plus. “

“I love you Akali, thank you for looking after everyone for me.”

Akali hummed in agreement, happy that her leader finally, finally got the chance to make amends. They didn’t need to mince a lot of words. That’s not how their relationship worked. Akali knew that she was a little awkward with her words, and she’s a woman of action. 

Telling Ahri off would’ve been her thing, but Evelynn has gotten that role on lock. 

Giving Ahri time and space to come round with her emotions was Kai’Sa’s thing.

Akali was more of a person to hug it out and just let it be. Especially if Evelynn and Kai’Sa had already told Ahri what she needed to hear already. No need to preach to the choir, Akali hated that, especially when she was still living with Master Shen, Irelia, Maym and Faey. 

They have a very simple relationship. Akali loves her leader dearly, and Ahri dotes on Akali. 

The double pranksters. 

The prodigies. 

The literal _headaches_ for Evelynn and Kai’Sa.

The last one made Akali giggle. Kai’Sa was sometimes a little too serious to get down and be silly. But Ahri, Ahri was down for mischief all the time. Maybe not now with all the stress that’s lingering still, but maybe when that’s all over. Akali sniffed the air, and realized something that made her lips curl.

_‘Oh? What is this? Ahri-unnie in Kai’Sa sweater?’_

Ahri felt vibrations and she looked down to see Akali grinning wickedly, “Guess I have to share now with Bokkie.”

  
  


“Yah...what are you on about?”

  
  


“You liiiiiiiike her.”

  
  


“Get off me you overgrown runt. I’m napping.“

There was no bite to her tone. Or any indication that Ahri was about to throw her off. 

  
  


“NYO~!”

  
  


Akali glomped on her leader, curling slightly so that she can still play her game and lounge. Ahri was a good heater despite the gumiho explaining that it was hard for her to feel her own body heat. 

After a moment, her voice broke the silence.

“What makes you say that?”

“Uh your stupid handholds, you’re in her sweater, and you literally smell like peaches.”

“All I smell are grapefruits.” 

Akali groaned, “You’re so…oblivious...pabo-unnie..”

She winced at Ahri’s (now opened) glowering amber eyes.

“Grapefruits are _your_ favourite unnie. Kai’Sa’s favourite is peaches.” The ninja sighed, squishing her leader’s cheeks like it wa simple addition. “I’m the one that goes grocery shopping with her. And she spends _way_ too long in the bath aisle, looking for and I quote, _‘I feel like changing it up a bit Kali. How’s this grapefruit one?’_ “

Ahri rolls her eyes, “You’re messing with me.”

“She keeps asking about your handhold kisses and I quote again, ‘W _hy do you think Ahri does it?’_ Like seriously unnie...Kai’Sa is practically in love with you. You kiss her hand when you think Eve and I aren’t looking.”

Ahri giggled. Definitely _not_ at the thought that Kai’Sa wanted to smell like grapefruits. And _not definitely_ at the thought that dear old Kai’Sa doesn’t know what hand kisses meant. The gumiho pushed the smug face away from her cheeks. 

“My my… are you jealous? Do you want more kisses from me?”

Akali looked up at her with an disgusted expression. 

“Ew. No homo.” At the sight of Ahri’s overexaggerated kissy faces. “You never really explained it. And now I’m curious.”

Poking her leader’s squishy cheek, and pulling her finger away before Ahri could nip on them.

“Puh-leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase! I wanna know!”

“If I haven’t told Kai’Sa, what makes you think I’ll tell you?”

“Because if you don’t I’ll rat to Kai’Sa that you’ve been pining at her door for hours the past couple of days when she’s sleeping. Her door wasn’t locked then. You could’ve went inside. ”

Ahri pouted, “Yah...I’m not pining…”

Akali poked her squishy cheeks one more with every word. “Then why do you make those whuffy noises you foxes do?”

“That is so foxist.” Ahri grumped, patting the head that was on her chest. “Why can’t you just look this up? Why do I have to explain this to you?!”

“You’re weak and limp in my arms.”Akali said, her attention back to her video game. “I think I could make those lips loose. Tell me.”

“Wow...is that a line you use on Evelynn _before_ sex?”

Akali doesn’t blush but gives her a cocky smirk, “Works every time.”

“...I suddenly feel like my fever is coming back.”

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**At the supermarket...**

  
  


Evelynn keeps her mask tight and her grip around Kai’Sa tighter as they weave through the supermarket. 

“Okay, medicine for Ahri. More spicy ramyun- no fuck that I’ll just make my own. So that means some flower, eggs, butter, some yeast. Uh...what else am I missing?”

Kai’Sa checks her phone. Oh wait. She can’t. 

“Evelynn...can I have my phone back? I need it for the grocery list.”

“Hm...no.” Events says as she bends down and picks up soba noodles and adds it to the cart. While the succubus doesn’t really like spicy ramyun, she does love cold soba noodles in the evening. It just hits different. 

“Evelynn…” Kai’Sa whined, “I can’t remember everything! Let me see my phone!”

“You lost the bet. “

“It was a dumb bet! Seoul’s street lights are stupid, of course I was thinking we would hit a red light.”

Evelynn chuckled. “Not when I’m behind the wheel darling.” 

Heels clacked against the tile as she matched the dancer's stride. They moved toward the meat section, shivering slightly at the cool temperature. 

“Keeping your phone means you can focus on me. As you should anyways.”

Kai’Sa glared and then frowned. “Is it bad that I worry?”

“You’ll throw away your daily schedule if it meant revolving around Ahri.”

Evelynn plucks packets of pork belly and slid it to the cart. Then she drags Kai’Sa to the vegetable aisle and picks up cabbage, potatoes, taro and other small leafy greens.

“Hyperfixation isn’t good for you too Bokkie dear.” The succumbs added hoping her advice wasn’t taken the wrong way. Purple eyes blinked as she pondered about it. She conceded that Evelynn might have a point but she’s also right spending time with her other members is just as important. 

“The gumiho will be fine. Now then, she’s fine Akali is with her and they made up.”

“That’s good!”

Evelynn showed the picture that Ahri had posted and Kai’Sa smile was so wide it could light up the supermarket. Evelynn from her position could see such joy, and her curiosity is getting better of her. 

The demonness had to ask. 

“I unfortunately brought up Ahri. So I will ask. How are you two?”

“Great!”

“So you’re together?”

Kai’Sa sputtered and nearly walked into aisle shelf face first at the question. She was thankful that her mask was on. But she had a feeling that her panicked eyes gave more away. 

“N-no no. It’s not like that. “

The succumbed clicked her tongue in disappointment, as she turned away from the blushing dancer to grab chili paste, sea sake seed oil and more salt and pepper, “Damn it I owe Akali 3000 won.”

“You bet on us?!”

Evelynn chuckled before moving Over to Kai’Sa’s stunned form. 

“You carry Ahri’s scent all the time and you’re not together?”

“Scent…? You mean my shampoo?!”

“Ah damn. I forget you’re still human-ish. “ Evelynn said, running a hand through her hair. They kept their voices low as they walked toward the cashier. 

“If you smell like someone else it usually _implies_ that you’re together. Especially to demons like Ahri and I, scent is usually a key indicator to keep others away from someone they care about. “

From beneath her mask Kai’Sa’s mouth dropped. 

Evelynn points at the scarf, “The scarf reeks of grapefruit. And it’s Ahri’s favourite colour. “

A lasher pulls out a cream colored handkerchief from one of Evelynn’s many inner pockets. Kai’Sa recognizes that it was one of the _few_ things that Evelynn will wash herself. She almost tore down the studio when she thought she had lost it about four months into creating K/DA. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**After recording POP/STARS...**

_“Where is it?!”_

_“Where’s what?”_

_Evelynn's eyes were wide with anxiety, her claws drumming as she turned over her seat cushion, her sweater, the lyrics on the table._ _Ahri and Akali are out grabbing lunch so it was just the two of them together in the recording studio._

_Evelynns voice was almost a shrill and her temper short._

_“A handy. No wait- it’s-it’s...what do you people call it?”_

_She snaps her finger, trying to formulate the words that weren't coming out. The downsides of knowing many languages, one could never find the righ tone in high stress situations.  
_

_“A handkerchief?”_

_Claws shuffled papers around, almost bumping into Kai’Sa._ _A string of curses that not even Kai’Sa has heard in a long time. Her time in South Africa meant that this was more heavy and had a certain lit._

_European?_

_“Yes that. Be a dear and help me find it!”_

_Kai’Sa reached to her back pocket and fished out the handkerchief in question._

_“Oh this? It fell off, I was going to wash it-“_

_The handkerchief was taken from her hands before she could register it. She would be offended at how rudely Evelynn swiped the handkerchief if it wasn’t for the sheer look of relief in her eyes._

_As if nothing happened, Evelynn cleared her throat, her eyes slightly bashful and sat calmly back in her seat. Clawed hands picked up the slightly crumpled lyrics and started to hum out her verses._ _And they haven't talked about that strange behavior since then._

//

  
  


“It was a very personal gift from Ahri. I never leave the house without it.” Evelynn said simply, offering no explanation of how exactly she got around to holding such an important accessory. Perhaps when there's more time Kai'Sa wants to hear more stories about Evelynn and Ahri's time way before their solo careers.

She appraises the handkerchief in Evelynn's loose grip. It was cream coloured. The same colour of Ahri’s current fur colour. There was a small fox logo just on the bottom corner. The cotton threading was slightly frayed, discoloured in some places. Yet if it lasted as long as Kai’Sa assumed, it must’ve lasted at least a hundred years. It looked as thought it was handled with some much tenderness in the same way that Evelynn takes care of her many cars parked neatly in the garage.

“It smells like Ahri but subtle enough for demons and some humans to know that we’re a pair.”

The succubus tucks the handkerchief away, patting the pocket gently. 

“Akali always carries a necklace that Ahri gifted her. That - uh silver trinket. She always hides it though, she never wants to show it to the camera. It’s a lingering tell that Akali will protected if I’m not around.” 

Kai’Sa bobs her hand in understanding, the examples so much more obvious to her now. 

“And now your skin literally carries her scent. And it has for the past couple of weeks since you _‘changed’_ your shampoo. Akali and I know you _'occasionally'_ steal hers, and now here you are buying your own. Subtlety Kai’Sa darling, is not your strong suit.”

Evelynn reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair from Kai’Sa’s face, cooing a little at the sight of a pink hue on her friend’s ears. 

“She cares about all of us. But when it comes to you darling, our dear Foxy takes extra care.”

Evelynn stared at the dumbstruck look on Kai’Sa’s face.

“You just told me essentially that Ahri leaves a subtle scent on me and that I’m apparently dumb to all the details that she does.”

“Oh great, I just made you _swoon_ more…” Evelynn added dryly. “That reminds me has she head bumped you yet?”

Kai’Sa made a squeak. She thinks of last night and earlier that morning. She initiated contact and Ahri all but melted at the gesture. 

“No...but I did.”

Evelyn whirled around, astonished, “My my Kai’Sa...so _bold_.”

The words trailed off but with a seductive edge. It even made the dancer shiver slightly at the implication.

“What’s wrong with that?!” The dancer cries out indignant.

Evelynn rolled her eyes, groaned and pushed Kai’Sa toward the pet aisle. Bao would need some toys, food and a litter box after all. Kai'Sa's arms flapped as she tried to grab the succubus's attention.

“You’ve essentially...uh...kinda...already marked her…as your...own?” She muttered as she pushed Kai'Sa.

_**“I WHAT?!”** _

“Oh honey...”

  
  


//

  
  


**Back in K/DA manor….**

“Hand kisses are subtle. It can be taken in any kind of way. It can be platonic and it can be romantic. It was platonic at first because that’s what it was.”

Ahri mutters underneath her breath that she prefers the chivalrous acts of the medieval ages. It just felt more respectful.

  
  
“But when she made those almond cookies that one night, when she looked at me, something in me just clicked. Like my world shifted to move toward her.”

Ahri sighed dreamily before clearing her throat the smug look on her maknae’s face, “Maybe you can relate to that Akali, when you saw Evelynn for the first time. Like _really_ see her for who she is.”

Akali nodded.

“I want to gravitate to her all the time. But the thing is as a gumiho I _thrive_ off of that. I want to be in her orbit. I want _nothing_ but her exclusive attention.”

Then gumiho sighed. “But I can’t, so I partly throw myself away at work, making K/DA, Charmed and FOXY, so I’m not thinking about her all the time.”

The gumiho’s tail swiveled and swished in the air moving along as Ahri continued, “So I do handholds instead. It’s a subtle way for me to tell her that I admire her, respect her, and love her.”

“It is also a way for me to leave my scent on her.” Ahri groaned and covered her face with her hand. “It makes me sound like an animal and I’m more than just my ears and my tail, if I literally want to be all in her personal space. Like some needy dog or cat.”

Akali pouted, “I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like you were some domesticated pup.”

“I know you don’t mean it in that way. But other people fetishize me for it. We have saesangs for a reason. These mad fans want to make me uncomfortable because they think I deserve it. And Kai’Sa should be dragged into my saesang nightmare.”

Ahri whined a little, “I don’t want Kai’Sa to look at me like that like I’m some cute animal, and I don’t want to act like an animal around her. That’s why I never wrap my tail around her, even though I want to. Or that I want her fingers to run through my hair, my ears or my tail because I’ll let her if she asks.”

“You know she doesn’t though.”

Akali rubbed her leader’s hand. 

“She adores you. Like she hang stars for you or some dumb shit like that. And she knows that you are more than this.”

The pair was quiet. The soft pinging of mining rocks in the mine shaft was enough to fill the silence. 

“When do you get so smart?” Ahri crooned and hugged her maknae tight.

“I didn’t do high maths. But I know simply that you _plus_ Kai’Sa together _equals_ more money for me.”

Ahri looked at her dryly, “You bet on us?”

“Hell yeah! Anyways, Ahri-unnie please, tell her please. I can’t stand this much _pining!_ it physically hurts me.”

She stops with her joking attitude, but looks at Ahri with the unveiled seriousness. Her hand takes a hold of Ahri’s. “Telling her won’t hurt you. It can even free you from these games your mind is telling you. “

Ahri was silent for a moment. She rocked her head side to side as if debating what her next move will be. 

Kai’Sa.

_Kai’Sa_.

**_Kai’Sa_**.

“So you’re telling me I should step it up a notch?”

“Oh do you have something in mind?”

A glint in amber eyes told Akali everything. 

_'This was going to be so so_ _good.'_ Akali thought.

  
  


//

When Evelyyn and Kai'Sa finally returned, Ahri and Akali were having a go at each other in a game of … something. Screaming can be heard from the T.V but the succubus found that the screaming duo was much _much louder._

“Ahri-unnie! That’s not how you’re supposed to dodge!”

“Yah! Just because you shove a controller in my hand doesn’t mean I know how to play!”

Then the music changed to the drone of GAME OVER. 

“Fucking casual.”

“You’re dead!”

Lashers quickly came and seized the fighting pair by the wais holding them slightly in the air. 

“Well this is not the welcome home I wasn’t expecting.” The succubus tittered, dragging the two bodies closer to her so that they were all at eye-level. Akali had her tongue stickig out, while Ahri was squirming to swipe at the youngest's face with her claws. Lashers shook them both slightly to stop them from reaching each other.

Kai’Sa stumbled in with the bags, four in each hand. Purple eyes glowered at the succubus who made no move to help and instead just had a staring contest with Akali and Ahri.

“Evelynn...when I told you to get a bag, I mean the bag with the food in it. Not just your purse.”

Akali giggled at Evelynn’s behavior all but forgetting about her spat with her leader.

“Heya Eve-nie~”

“Hi Akali darling.. Let me wash my hands first.” The lashers setting both the ninja and the fox down before Akali and Evelynn went off together to talk about their trip, leaving a windswept Kai’Sa and Ahri alone again in the living room.

“Let me wash my hands too, help me with the groceries?”

Ahri nodded, pulling some the items from the bags and stowing them away in their respective cabinets. 

More instant ramyun, more tea bags, more coffee filters, there were even several ingredients for a hot pot tonight. Ahri’s stomach growled at the thought. She was getting a little hungry.

“Hungry?”

“I can wait.” Ahri said smoothly, pulling her tail in a casual updo.

“I see you’re back to have scuffs with Akali.” Kai’Sa commented lightly, drying her hands on the dish towel. 

She looked at Ahri, who was looking down and at her feet. She really did look adorable in her purple sweater. 

Kai’Sa opened her arms instead and was surprised how quickly Ahri dived into her embrace. 

The symbiote on her shoulder doing backflips preened at the tightness of the hug. 

Ahri wasn’t physically affectionate. She knew that much. But she can get used to this. 

“I thought you were going to rest.”

“I was resting!” Ahri said in mock anger, her voice muffled by her shoulder. “My fever is gone, I took the god-awful medicine you left behind. Akali made sure I took another nap. We were being good.”

Kai’Sa raised a brow, pulling away slightly. Her expression screaming _doubt_ , “Hearing that you and Akali being _‘good’_ , means something went on while we were away.”

Ahri lifted one of her tails, and casually wrapped it around the dancer’s ankle. The taller woman giggled as the furry appendage had a loose grip.

“Maknae was good to me.”

“I’m glad.” 

“Ahri?”

“Mm?”

“I-I uh…I-I…”

“Bokkie! Something went wrong with the laundry!

Kai’Sa groaned, cursing a little. She looked down to see Ahri’s soft expression. 

“Guess duty calls?”

She reluctantly pulls away and heads to the stairs screaming.

_“AKALI WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?!”_

_“OH OKAY JUST BLAME THE MAKNAE HUH? AGE-IST FUCKER!”_

The voices rang from upstairs, followed by scuffling and more raised voices. 

Ahri let off a giggle, seems like everything is back to normal in the K/DA manor. 

Well just kind of. 

  
  


//

  
  
  


**In a private message between an Ahri and Akali:**

**Group renamed Operation North Star**

  
  


**Akali** : poggers 

**Akali:** so we doing this for real unnie?!

**Akali:** unnie don’t leave me on read!

**Akali** : AGIDBEKA FLWBRKWVAHDHKFKW YAH!

//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely dialogue heavy but I hope you liked it :D
> 
> Pabo: idiot
> 
> Saesang: crazy stalker fans that have no boundaries for idols/celebrities
> 
> Maknae: Korean phrase for the youngest member in a group. 
> 
> Unnie: Korean honorific for women to describe older women. Akali technically should be using this to all members buuuuut… 
> 
> \- Kai’Sa is tier three sub so she doesn’t deserve it.  
> \- Akali has her own term of endearment for Evelynn.  
> \- Ahri is canonically Korean in this fic so she’s the only one right now that is called ‘Unnie’ by the maknae. 
> 
> Asscanon #20: Akali and Ahri are the ones they know how to play the most instruments. 
> 
> Asscanon #21: Ahri likes to bug Evelynn to go on road trips together just to take ONE photo for SNS. Evelynn hates it but she does like seeing Ahri’s ears flap in the wind for no reason whatsoever. 
> 
> Asscanon #22: Kai’Sa has some hang ups about her dad, especially around holidays. Akali uses that knowledge and takes Kai’Sa out for a holiday date. Spoils her quite literally. 
> 
> Asscanon #23: Ahri and Evelynn fund 80% of Seoul’s orphanages.
> 
> Asscanon #24: Favourite winter accessory  
> \- Evelynn: Trench coat  
> \- Ahri: Red muffler  
> \- Akali: Beanies  
> \- Kai’Sa: Mittens
> 
> Asscanon: Favourite spot to be kissed CHASTELY aside from the lips? SFW edition.  
> \- Evelynn: the collarbone  
> \- Akali: the forehead  
> \- Ahri: the top of her head in between her ears  
> \- Kai’Sa: the nape
> 
> Asscanon: Favourite spot to be kissed or marked aside from the lips and (other lips teehee)? NSFW edition  
> \- Evelynn: Top of her breast. Gives her an excuse to wear lots of low cut tops  
> \- Akali: Her shoulders  
> \- Kai’Sa: Her navel (core muscles be super sensitive)  
> \- Ahri: The base of her spine slightly above her tail (her back be hurting teehee)
> 
> The handkerchief will be part of the Prague bit. I just need to make a plot for it TEEHEE


	9. Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelynn meets a new demon in Rome. She struggles with the new friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for to @melody7321 for editing this for me :)

Ahri was sitting in the living room, legs tucked underneath her on the couch. The room was a little chilly, but there was no need to grab another blanket quite yet. She was dressed in a baby-blue sweater that was two sizes too big. Her leggings were black and she had white socks on so she was comfy for now. 

Unfortunately, she’d relegated the purple sweater back to Kai’Sa for cleaning so she was sweater-less and put down upon. Kai’Sa returned momentarily with another sweater, that was lightly used. It smelled more like peaches but the gumiho didn’t mind. 

Ahri tried not to let her purrs show how much she loved having another sweater to wear. She accepted it with another hand kiss, watching Kai’Sa playfully roll her eyes at the gesture. 

She tries to not show her excitement, but her wagging tails probably gave that away. 

Kai’Sa was slowly accepting her gesture like second-nature and she was over the moon about it. 

“You’re still on bed rest, I got laundry duty today. Ahri, just try to relax on the couch and I’ll join you later.”

Till then she would have to wait. She wished this time Kai’Sa would just hurry with the laundry and join her quickly. Ahri would be warmer if she was around. 

At some point the gumiho got bored of playing with her phone. The TV was on and she wasn’t registering any sort of dialogue or scene. 

The gumiho stretched, feeling the grogginess hitting her far too early in her morning. Maybe she would take a nap. She was far too lazy to wander back to her room or Kai’Sa. 

She sniffed the air, sighing at the smell of peaches. 

There was something else that now mixed with the scent of peaches and she felt her muscles tense slightly at who was in the living room with her. 

Expensive perfume, slightly muted by the scent of chlorine. 

Pomegranates with every swish of her hair. 

Evelynn.

Three more days had passed since her panic attack. That was the last time the monster pair had truly interacted. Ahri had no reason to really interact with Evelynn since the succubus had taken over the majority of K/DA business for the remainder of the week. Evelynn would be out of the house by early morning or be in her room taking phone calls and hosting virtual meetings. She feels a little guilty thinking at the workload that was at least on her desk.

Had Evelynn finished it? Or would the amount of paper still be the same when she eventually returned to work? Or would the work double?

Her heart rate picked up.

_‘Okay, enough about Evelynn.’_ Ahri thought. _‘Seraphine, think about Seraphine.’_

Evelynn had been traveling up and down Seoul to finalize Seraphine’s temporary move. They were to all pick her up tomorrow, bright and early at 4:00 A.M. Why the four of them? Ahri reasoned that it would be more appropriate and that they were a relatively small party anyways. 

Seraphine’s room had been set, adjacent to Kai’Sa’s but right across from Ahri’s just in case there was anything that the small songstress might need. 

There was already a cat tower propped in place in the living room and Akali made a point to store away any lingering weapons that Bao might accidentally come across. 

Everything was cat-friendly so this will be good, Ahri thought. 

  
  


  * ~~Call Crownguard-ssi for Charmed~~
  * ~~Call Seraphine to prep for the move to Seoul~~
  * ~~Call Roy and Manager-unnie~~
  * ~~Visit Yasuo and Sona if they are available at their studios.~~



Ahri now needs to think of more mental lists. She expects that her mandatory break is only temporary. There was no way that Evelynn was going to keep her away from work permanently. 

She likes to doubt that because at some point Evelynn will use her lasher to throw someone off a building if someone crossed her. The succubus had done it before.

She’s getting distracted. What was the list again?

  * Seraphine needs to be picked up 4:00 A.M. 
  * Bao needs to be fed everyday at 8:00 A.M



Ahri frowned. Was she supposed to take responsibility for Seraphine’s cat? As one of the eldest and the leader, she should at least be helpful. That was the responsible thing to do, help her bandmates with their pets because pets are just another family member to love. She’ll ask Seraphine more about Bao’s eating habits the moment she gets the chance to. 

‘Alright new things to add to the mental list.’

  * Find a suitable veterinarian within the city limits of Seoul. 
  * Allow for a week of assimilation to the new timezone. 
  * Prepare a welcome party
  * Start the lyrics for Seraphine’s solo. 
  * Hold a meeting for fittings and last minute design changes. 
  * Evelynn - 



  
  


She wished she had her calendar or notebook to keep it down, but she promised that she wouldn’t work. 

Damn Evelynn and all her rules. 

Mental notes. 

Mental notes. 

Mental notes. 

She had been alive before the start of paper-making. She can go another day without needing to write something down. 

_‘Okay...okay what was it…?’_

“You’re cold.”

Ahri kept her ears flat when she felt the warmth of Evelynn’s presence getting closer. The gumiho was too in her head to realize that Evelynn had stepped closer. She almost flinched when she felt a hand press against her forehead, but let out a pleased hum with how good it felt. 

As a touch-starved demoness, she loved gestures she received willingly from Evelynn. 

“You’ll catch another fever you dummy fox.” 

The throw blanket was put over her shoulders. She says nothing as the older woman tucked it gingerly under her legs, moving it just so, and now she was in a burrito blanket. Evelynn slid to occupy the other side of the couch, propping Ahri’s legs on her lap.

They sat in silence.

“Here is the key to your office.” 

As Ahri reached up to take them, the gumiho hesitated. Evelynn’s fingers curled around the keys, holding them just slightly out of reach. 

“I have conditions first, Foxy. Well, the girls did and I approved of them.”

Ahri’s ears flattened but meekly nodded. Evelynn bent down to Ahri’s eye level, putting a finger to her chin and lifting it so amber eyes met golden eyes. 

“One, the office door stays unlocked. The door can be closed, but it has to be unlocked. You can have your meetings and all the phonecalls you want, but in case it gets too sour from the other party or if we haven’t seen you in a while we need to be able to reach you.”

It wasn’t so bad. She considered it a small victory for her. Her space was still her own. Evelynn didn’t take it from her.

“Two, K/DA, FOXY and Charmed operations stop at 6:00 P.M.”

Ahri opened her mouth to protest, but Evelynn moved the finger that was on her chin to her lips. 

“Wait Foxy, I’m not finished,” The succubus cooed, loving the exasperated look on the gumiho’s face. “Hours after 6:00 P.M is dedicated to the girls and the girls alone. That means bad K-dramas, a movie, video-game night, late dinners, etc. We want time with our leader.”

“Three, Kai’Sa wants you to help with every meal, no exceptions. You might be working less to prep meals.”

Ahri was puzzled but quietly pleased. More time with Kai’Sa. That was always a plus. 

“That was her only condition. If you want an explanation, _you_ talk to _her._ And I know you’ve been _dying_ to.”

Ahri nipped the finger in retaliation. It was a little gentle, not enough to draw blood. Evelynn smirked.

“Don’t growl at me, you oversized plush toy.”

“Four, this is just my own personal condition. We revoked our safe-words. It’s time that we talk.”

Ahri gulped, her ears swiveled and strained to hear if Kai’Sa and Akali were within earshot. But with Evelynn looking at her, it was hard to concentrate on her other heightened senses. 

“Where are they?”

“I sent them on an errand, slipped out the back. We have time.” E said softly. 

Ahri removed her chin from Evelynn’s grip and leaned back against the arm rest. An arm draped over her eyes, she willed herself to speak. 

“I don’t know where to begin.”

“How about we start with the panic attack? Do you know where it came from?”

“I...there was just a lot to do. Nothing was late except that one time I forgot a deadline from FOXY. I just...there’s a lot to do. A lot of preparation. The notes were getting too long.”

She absently picked at a piece of lint on the blanket. She hated that she was slightly swaddled before she could escape from this confrontation.

“You’ve been anxious.” The succubus stated, “You haven’t been this anxious since, well, before K/DA was even made.”

“I take on the work because it’s...it’s easier to keep organized and filed away. Put things in its own little box, hoarded away from sight.”

Evelynn laughed weakly, reaching over to hold Ahri’s hand, “Just like when I found you in China, hoarding all those weird trinkets. They’re still in their best condition.”

Ahri returned the laugh, but then her amber eyes were somber.

“It was never about controlling K/DA’s activities. It was about K/DA’s freedom. Freedom to do whatever concept we wanted. Freedom to collaborate with whoever we wanted. Freedom to push the limits of music for our BLADES. That is what I wanted for everyone.”

Evelynn sighed, unsure how she wanted to redirect the conversation. Ahri loved to go on and on about control, but all this just to have a panic attack. The gumiho pulled the short end of the stick.

“And we _do have it_. So why - why all this? The sleepless nights? The closed door? Why all these hours?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that it was complicated?”

“Try me.” Evelynn’s voice on the verge of pleading. 

“I-I...there’s just a lot that needs to be done for us to have that freedom. And for my own lines, I want control over all aspects of it. From the production to the distributors. I didn’t have...I didn’t have control like that before K/DA.”

The gumiho took a shuddering breath. 

“I keep K/DA organized, and I want it to stay that way...I keep the fun exciting parts of our music untouched, untainted.”

Her eyes started to blur, the familiar sting of tears building behind her eyelids. She would keep it together. She wanted to look strong in front of Evelynn. 

But she was tired. 

So _so tired._

“And then you all...I can’t control you girls. I can’t control everything. But I can do those other things. All of that, those really messy business things. I can do that. And I want to do that because they...Akali and Kai’Sa, even you, you all deserve everything.”

Ahri looked up to her oldest friend, a tear sliding down her rosy cheeks. 

“I’m a caretaker. And if things fall apart or if anyone leaves, then I’ve failed.”

“Since the day we met, you’ve always done the hardest tasks. Looking after someone or anyone that deserved it.” Evelynn said in a far away tone. 

Evelynn felt something in her shift.

Shame.

Evelynn felt shame in waves that she hadn’t felt since before the rise of the modern world. 

Ahri gave her all to give K/DA, Blades, Kai’Sa, Akali and Evelynn everything. 

What did Evelynn give to the gumiho?

She did say she supports Ahri’s vision and trusted her work ethic. But did she? Did she truly pull her full weight?

She looked at the gumiho and realizes that as the eldest, she was supposed to look after Kai’Sa and Akali too. 

But most of all. 

She promised that she would look after Ahri too. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**Third century C.E.**

_Evelynn thinks about the time she first met Ahri. They joke that it was China, but it had been in a foreign land from long, long ago._

_It was a land named Rome. And that was as much as Evelynn wanted to describe it. The land was dry most days, but had a sweet-sea-salt feel to when the days were cool and she could walk about._

_But today, Evelynn was surprised when she caught a subtle scent._

_Citrusy._

_Airy._

_With just a hint of danger._

_It was different than the normal stench of sweat, cattle, and the smell of the sea._

_She hadn’t been around Rome long enough to know the ins-and outs of trade import and exports. Perhaps the scent was a new fruit and there was a bandit hiding somewhere in the city. The succubus wasn’t deterred by the subtle danger._

_She was immortal._

_And if she were to even speculate that a new demonic being was in the city, it was highly unlikely. As demons, it was quite rare to come in contact with another foreign being. It was much stranger to actually come across one within the same town._

_Evelynn, with her platinum hair, was rare as most would have a head of black or orange or even blonde. But white, purplish hair?_

_The townspeople said that she was blessed by Venus herself._

_Voluptuous hips._

_Full lips._

_Eyes of gold._

_‘Venus. Whoever that is.’ Evelynn thought. Well, Cassius said just as much last night. She laughed at the thought. The poor senator couldn’t keep up. It was much too boring but she got her fill._

_She adjusted her robes. She asked Cassius before his ultimate demise...well disappearance._

_No one in the city was quite sure on what had happened to the Senator. Naturally, she was brought forward to answer questions in front of the Senate._

_She let the waterworks come out, desperate and upset when she was questioned. The other senators and praetors were sympathetic and kept the questions brief. Evelynn was let go as she had corroborated that she had retired to her home after spending some time with Cassius and that his attendant Helion had walked her home. In no way would she have known about Cassius’ disappearance, one senator grumbled._

_Cassius had been quite nice to her for the past two summers. Perhaps it was just time to move on._

_She looks at the cottage that the Senate has gifted to her to keep her comfy. But she had no need for it._

_She had an eternity to gather riches. She’s never gone without._

_Food doesn’t sustain her._

_Misery._

_Agony._

_Those two would satisfy her for centuries._

_She sighs, rolling her neck at the tension built up. The restlessness was getting to her at last._

_Perhaps a night in the town would give her some light before she moves on. It’s already been three summers, she wouldn’t linger in one place too long. Not when she’s expected to be married and bear children._

_In another three centuries she’d consider it._

_She takes a stroll accompanied by Cassius’ former attendant, Helion. Ever so polite, he keeps his eyes respectfully low, holds her hand but never in a tight grip._

_Evelynn was formally invited by Gaius, another senator, who was throwing a small party for his successful reelection. To be supportive, she was there to show a good face, share some sentimental stories about Cassius, drink, and talk. And not to make her ego any bigger, she was quite popular. Not just for her beauty, but her mental aptitude and wit. She can go circles around these senators anyday._

_“Domina, we have arrived.”_

_“Gratitude Helion.”_

_She was led into a lounge chair and even greeted with a flirty kiss on the cheek by his wife - or was it his mistress? Evelynn pressed her lips back at her cheek, before giving her a cheeky slap on the hip, her tongue already letting loose with today’s gossip._

_She sends off Helion with a wave of her hand and appraises the rest of the guests in the household. The wine gave most guests a beautiful red flush on the apples of their cheeks, tongues were loose and the laughs were full and boisterous._

_Evelynn sipped on her cup. It was fun. But nothing too exciting. It was bound to change when the alcohol steeped deeper in the veins of unsuspecting victims. Only then she would feel her blood pulse._

_She turned to the center of the room. There was one woman who was able to set her blood cold._

_The other woman was covered demurely from head to toe with a headdress covering the majority of her head and hair, but the more the succubus’s eyes lingered the more she was intrigued at her otherworldly features._

_Her hair was jet-black as the realms of Pluto, eyes the colour of the sun-setting, skin as fair as a young babe. It looked like she had subtle scars on her cheeks, but they didn't take away from her beauty._

_Evelynn’s long nails scratched the sheets below her waist._

_Something about her is off._

_She sniffed once more and there was the airy scent again._

_Citrusy._

_And if Evelynn knows anything about women, they might be hiding something. This woman was someone powerful. And dangerous._

_She needed her attention and she now knew why._

  
  
  


_Amber eyes locked on golden ones. Evelynn’s breath hitched, not realizing she held her breath for a moment. A dainty hand waved and Evelynn raised her cup in acknowledgement._

_It was much too early in the night for a direct confrontation. There were too many eyes and too many ears. She already got her toes wet with their incident with Cassius, she couldn’t bring any more suspicion. She kept her eyes on the other woman and took a languid gulp of her wine. Evelynn needed to just let the night linger._

_The succubus managed to catch her off guard on the veranda. The alcohol was slowly making its presence. Her steps were a little unsteady and her incisors lengthened as the control she had on her shadows slipped slightly. The shorter woman was staring up at the moon, amber eyes glowing with a slight dour expression but then brightening slightly at the sight of Evelynn._

_“Greetings.”_

  
  


_Something in Evelynn stirred. The accent was heavy, thick on the tongue, but it trailed off with a purr._

_“Good evening.” Evelynn stated cutting straight to the point. “Foreigner?”_

_“You are as well. Your hair makes you special around here.”_

_Evelynn quirked a fine brow. Oh, this was interesting. Did this foreigner know what kind of creature she was?_

_“Ahri. My name is Ahri.”_

_“My name is Evelynn.”_

_Evelynn buried a gasp when there was a flash of white fur._

_Tail._

_No._

_Multiple tails._

_There were nine white tails swishing languidly from Ahri’s lower back. Evelynn had to blink. There was no way they were real._

_Ahri giggled at the lack of response while pulling off her headdress, “There’s no one around, I would know.”_

_Black velveteen ears popped from beneath the teresses of black hair. They swiveled and flicked, as if stretching from a long rest._

_“Ah, I figured it was safe.” Ahri said simply as the ears twitched up and down. Amber eyes looked at the succubus expectantly; afterall, she just casually revealed her non-human status._

_Evelynn reluctantly released her lasher which was tucked underneath her chiffon robe. It swished in the air, moving to intertwine with one of the nine fluffy tails. It was soft against the leathery lasher, the extra appendages of both demons bobbed and weaved around each like much like a cats._

_It was strange._

_She didn’t feel alarmed about the other demon’s presence._

_She felt awkward. And a little curious._

_“What are you?”_

_“I’m a demon as well. A gumiho. I’m from the Eastern plains.” The gumiho said with a smile that showed sharp fangs. The marks on her cheeks now looked a little more frightening under the moonlight, much like those tigers that conquerors often boasted about on their campaigns toward the western seas._

_Evelynn walked in a wide berth around Ahri, trying to keep the shadows around her hidden. She wanted the shadows to creep to her fingers to elongate into claws._

_However, she made the first move. She was in control. She will be in control._

_“So, what brings you here?”_

_The gumiho leaned against the bannister and sighed. “I’m hungry. These Romans eat well, but their livers are quite…”_

_“Tasteless?”_

_“Foul.” Ahri corrected, “Especially that Senator. Cassius. “_

_Golden eyes narrowed, her lasher pulling away raised in defense._

_“I feed off of emotions, not their flesh.” Evelynn clarified bluntly. “How did you know?”_

_Ahri’s nine tails coiled around her waist to stave off the chilly air. Her own claws drummed rhythmically on the bannister._

_“The scent of blood isn’t hard to miss at the bottom of a ravine. You’ve left a mess. I just took the liver.”_

_“What were you doing there?”_

_The gumiho shrugged. “Everyone throws unwanted bodies in the ravine. The sight was ghastly, but the liver…”_

_She flashes a toothy grin._

_“Exquisite.”_

_Her lips sorted with a small pop. Then she shudders._

_“But not Cassius. It tasted foul like the wine tonight.”_

_Amber eyes were amused at the shock on the taller woman’s face. She walked up closer so that they were nearly eye to eye. Ahri leaned in just so that her breath tickled Evelynn’s ears. The succubus should’ve pushed her off, she should’ve stabbed her with her lashers._

_As if sensing her apprehension, Ahri’s tails wrapped around Evelynn’s ankles like a loving pet._

_“Be at ease. I won’t tell a soul.”_

_“You best be off then, so I can ensure it.” Evelynn said with no bite. She was a pretty thing and there is always bad misfortune to those that are extraordinarily beautiful. Almost tragic._

_Ahri smiled._

_“That wouldn’t be fun. Join me.”_

_When Evelynn inquired where they would go next, the gumiho shrugged while she pointed towards her nose._

_“East. Dark times are upon the Romans.” Ahri said simply, her expression now grim. Lips turned into a frown and what looked like an expression of guilt. “Something is coming. And we need to leave. Unless you want wagging tongues to inquire why you’re still lingering around Cassius’s door step.”_

  
  


_Evelynn pursed her lips. Well, she did say she was planning to move on from Rome. She had already lingered for three summers. Four would be pushing it if she were to leave any more bodies for anyone, human or demon, to find._

_She thinks of Helion and what fate likes for him if something was coming from the western seas. He was good to her and she always quite liked him._

_Was she supposed to leave him to his fate?_

_She shook her head. He wasn’t to know her true nature, if he traveled with her…_

_Surely it would be painful._

_Ahri waited patiently for her response, “Shall you accompany me?”_

_“Yes. I shall accompany you.”_

_The following morning, they had left Rome together, not without leaving some parting words. Helion was quite upset and pleaded for Evelynn to take him along on her new adventures._

_“Domina! Please, let me follow you!”_

_“Take the pieces of coin at the cellar, take it with you. Do what you will with this land, I have no need for it. Travel if you must. Burn it all to the ground if you must. But you Helion, I set you free. You are free.”_

_“Domina…”_

_She pats his cheek, dragging her fingers up and down before moving her horse towards the exit. Evelynn couldn’t let her thoughts linger on Helion. With whatever was coming to Rome, she’d hoped that the former attendant would take her advice and travel far from Rome with whatever money she had saved._

_She would hope that perhaps, Helion or his descendants would surely find her again._

_Then she frowned._

_No, that’s just wishful thoughts of young girls. Demons have no need for such pleasures._

_Evelynn would never meet Helion again, not if she left Rome._

_She does anyway._

_Her horse trots towards the main road, her belongings wrapped neatly in saddle bags. Her jewelry out of sight, as robberies were still frequent enough to be a problem. She rides for fifteen minutes before coming towards a lone fig tree on the empty road._

_Ahri was waiting for her patiently underneath the leaves, toying with a fruit in between her dainty hands. Her expression excited when the ears that were hidden beneath her headdress wiggled in glee._

_Evelynn held out a hand so that Ahri could take hold and the two rode together out of Rome._

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  


_Evelynn wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her gumiho companion. The adjustment was taking longer than she would’ve liked. As a succubus, she wasn’t a companion to keep for long periods of time. She would get her fill, prey on the agony and despair of helpless and distraught victims, dispose of the body, and then move on._

_She wouldn’t care less if she was alone and she only had to look out for herself. Ahri though...she had to be careful for Ahri. There was more at stake now that the two of them were traveling together._

_She felt that she had to hide her tendencies, keep Ahri in the dark._

_Yet the gumiho asserted that there was no need to hide. She asserted over and over that Evelynn was more than welcome to feed as she needs, and offered that she instead would watch from afar so that nothing went amiss._

_Not that it will._

_It was strange and foreign and part of her wanted to claw Ahri’s eyes out at the implication._

_She had been alive a near decade before Ahri (or so Ahri claims; she doesn’t remember exactly when she walked the Earth). She wasn’t invalid. She can kill whoever she wants and whenever she wants._

_There is no need for a proverbial guard dog._

_“What are you, my keeper?” Evelynn asked darkly, shadows whipped around her form. She wiped her lips with the back of her right hand, her left holding the collar of a limp body. The purple flame above her head grew, threatening to cover her entire being and burn whoever crossed her._

_Ahri bristled but laughed it off. She reached out and pulled the limp body away from Evelynn’s grip. The gumiho’s own hand, thrusted sharply into his lower waist and ripped out the still pulsing organ._

_“Yes.” The gumiho said before taking a bite, the blood staining her teeth._

_During the following feeding encounters in the first year, the gumiho promised that she would look away but keep her ears listening. Evelynn relents that it’s better than nothing._

_There would be less questions traveling with someone who is just as enchanting as she is._

_Not that she’s comparing._

_Traveling in pairs had its perks, however. The roads were still quite dangerous despite Rome’s influence across the peninsula. While they rarely saw another soul on the road, but when they did, their fangs ached with want. Of course they had to keep up appearances, so they made sure to bath regularly in nearby rivers and lakes. It was useful that Ahri’s heightened sense of smell was perfect for finding fresh sources of water, food and prey. On the rare times the pair was caught unawares due to travelers, it was easy to slip a lie that they were two friends traveling together to meet their father in a neighboring town._

_They would be guided along with their arms interlocked with their respective escorts, the horses leashed and trotted slowly behind the party. The pair of them chittering away, throwing their charms to lower inhibitions. After all, what could possibly go wrong in the road?_

_Evelynn and Ahri would appear in town unaccompanied and their clothes pristine as the day they left Rome._

_Yet their grins hid something a little more sinister._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_They traveled together for three decades. The succubus thought that by now she would’ve been comfortable with the gumiho by her side._

_During a brief month stint in a town whose name was far too complex for Ahri and Evelynn to decipher, Evelynn was again making her rounds on the single men and women in town._

_It mattered not of their station but the depth of their pain that they were more than happy to give to Evelynn along with their life._

_Ahri, despite her more intrusive eating behaviors, kept her feeding needs away from the public. She opted to feed after animals and a lone bandit here and there, never taking more than what she needed._

_The succubus noticed that but paid no mind to it. There were powerful beings, why not be a little more indulgent with their needs?_

_Yet she couldn’t shake off the feeling of annoyance that was creeping at the edge of her skin at how Ahri seemed to want to be around her all the time._

_The tender eyes._

_The soft greeting whenever Evelynn returned late to their humble abode._

_The food that was always on the table whenever Evelynn indulged in eating like a human._

_Ahri rarely asked intrusive questions, instead she just waits. She waits for Evelynn to talk to her about anything. Even if it was to complain about her apparent neediness._

_As if Ahri was willing to take whatever conditions were given to stay by her side. And that was more irritating to Evelynn than anything else._

_No matter if blood got on her clothes, or that they couldn’t bathe for a day._

_This insufferable caring gumiho was getting too much for her. Her teeth ached for destruction and chaos. This domesticity...this wasn’t her life._

_This isn’t what she wanted for herself._

_Ahri was a caring companion. Evelynn was not. Not that she ever thought she would be._

_“Ahri love, you know that I can take care of myself right?” She said once over tea. The sun hadn’t set yet, but the cooling air felt that it added to the melancholy of her words._

_This time her tone had tempered patience, not like before when it was filled with bitterness. She sipped the tea, smiling a little when it was her favourite._

_Pine needles, with a dash of honey._

_A tail wrapped around the succubus’ waist but there was no reply from the gumiho. Ahri carried on with cooking the fish that she had caught earlier that morning. She was facing away from Evelynn, but there was a certain sluggishness. Purposefully slow._

_It stirred her undead heart. The succubus was unsure if she was more annoyed or more unsettled with these emotions._

_As a succubus, she only knew how to bring pain. Now she was unsure if she’s fit to care for someone as affectionate and loving as Ahri._

_Ahri never seemed to mind. She takes the comments lightly before throwing a tease back. Her tails would slap Evelynn lightly on the hip with a bounce to her step._

_Not tonight through. Tonight, the tail was loose around her waist, shy and expectant._

_She sipped her tea uncaring if it burned her throat._

_She needed to leave._

_After thirty years she felt the need to leave the fox behind._

_No. She was going to leave Ahri behind._

_Space. Space. Space._

_She needed space._

_Dinner was quiet that night, Ahri humming quietly as she enjoyed her meal, politely asking Evelynn what she was up to in town today._

_Evelynn kept her answers painfully short. Her mind wondered if Ahri was aware of what she had planned._

_Surely not, otherwise the gumiho would confront her. Would she?_

_“Shall we go into town tomorrow?”_

_“Of course darling.”_

_The soft smile on Ahri’s lips was enough to make Evelynn hesitate with her hasty decision._

_“We’ll leave bright and early to catch the morning sun.” She said tenderly, coaxing Ahri to retire to bed first. Evelynn cleared the table, adjusted the hearth so that the room was warm just the way the gumiho like it._

_She waits to hear the subtle chirping that Ahri makes only when she’s asleep before slipping away from their bed. Her bag was already packed and when she hefted it over her shoulder, she was surprised at the weight. Had she already packed so much?_

_She looked over to the resting gumiho, tail curled around her hip. Evelynn frowned at the curled posture and pulled the sheets over her bare shoulder. Her long fingers combed through black hair, letting her nails scratch Ahri’s scalp gently to coax her back to deeper slumber._

_The posture loosened and Ahri sighed in her sleep, snuggling close to the pillow where Evelynn's scent had been strongest._

_Evelynn stayed just a little longer, reasoning that she was doing this so that the slumbering gumiho wouldn’t wake. When golden eyes saw that the moon was at the highest point, she reluctantly moved away. She left the parchment on the bedside table and quietly left their home._

_Evelynn tapped her horse to move quickly to the nearest port, hoping the sea-salt air would keep her presence cloaked from Ahri’s nose._

_It was when she was on a boat to England a week later that she heard news of a red scourge torching the Germanic lands._

_Evelynn swallows the guilt._

_Ahri doesn’t need her._

_Evelynn doesn’t need Ahri._

_She would be fine._

_Ahri would be fine._

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


_**‘Be a good girl and go find someone else to be your keeper.’ - Eve** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #27
> 
> Evelynn is pretty low-key but she loves it when Ahri comes to her room just for head pats.
> 
> Asscanon #28
> 
> Whenever Evelynn traveled the world without K/DA, she would have tea with another tea set across from her and video-chat with Ahri.  
> Ahri would do the same as well. 
> 
> Asscanon #29
> 
> Evelynn is the best at writing letters. Her first heartfelt letter was to Helion. 
> 
> Asscanon #30 
> 
> Ahri wouldn’t wander into a new country without Evelyn to accompany her. They are seen holding hand whenever they enter the meeting rooms, buildings, etc, just so that Ahri isn’t overwhelmed with new smells or unfamiliar faces. 
> 
> Asscanon #31
> 
> Evelynn occasionally walks into Ahri’s room just to check if she’s sleeping well. Now that Kai’sa can do that for her she can rest easy.


	10. Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelynn and Ahri danced around each other for centuries. It reaches a turning point in Prague.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal spin an @UmbreonGurl’s idea of Prague...loosely :3  
> Thank you so much for to @melody7321 for editing this for me :)
> 
> Keep in mind the speech patterns from place to place. If I flubbed it I'm sorry!

_Evelynn had stayed in what would become England._

_She had seen the rise and the fall of the Roman Empire and the subsequent rise of the Byzantine Empire._

_While she wasn’t religious, she had dabbled in listening to Christian hymns in passing. Afterall, tavern songs could only entertain her for so long._

_It offered a small bit of comfort as the plagues and the constant warfare between the Persian Empire and the new rise of Muslim followers._

_She starts to linger longer in the shadows, lest she had torches and pitchforks at her door, calling her a heretic under new Constantine law._

_During her hundred years or something years lingering in the Byzantine Empire, she had her underling scour the land to find traces of Helion and his descendants. It was only three summers with Cassius, but her company with Helion felt tthat it could ease the gnawing guilt in her undead heart. It really did feel like a lifetime ago._

_Perhaps triple or quadruple one’s lifetime._

_Thankfully the Byzantine Empire was vast. She traveled to Sicily, Alexandria and Constantinople. Popular destinations for all stations and she’d hope she can run into a familiar face._

_Could Evelynn admit out loud that she was lonely?_

_To her dismay, she had heard that Helion’s last living descendant had succumbed to sickness at the tender age of three._

_Evelynn had wished that she was at her side to guide her to her final sleep._

_‘But would I be absolved?’_

_She lamented cursing out loud lest someone heard her. She was known to be quite pious. At least in the morning._

_The succubus never expected the thought of forgiveness to cross her mind._

_Religion rooted deeper into her soul. Not that it could be saved. She was doomed to walk the Earth forever._

_It had its perks however. She can handle a little religious upbringings for the time being. Gods and goddesses change faces over time, yet at the root of humanity it provided a home to discontented souls._

_‘Home.’_

_The word Evelynn pondered for the past several years._

_This time she felt that she can call this country her home, at least for a while. Though, she hardly went out except for the evening when she needed to feed. Instead she relegated handmaidens and servant boys to run errands for her._

_It was by chance that she had sniffed the air on a nightly stroll unaccompanied. She expected the air to be rancid as per saul, the lack of proper plumbing would’ve been a deplorable state for Evelynn to linger. She was rarely out anyways._

_But she needed a walk, her lashers were itching for their next kill._

_When she thought she found someone, unsuspecting, naive, unwanted…_

_It was then she caught the scent._

_Citrus._

_Ahri._

_Ahri._

_Ahri._

_Ahri was in England._

_Her boots clicked against the cobblestone, dragging her body toward the area where the scent was strongest. She willed her shadows to not give off such lustrous pheromones. She didn’t want to alert the gumiho of her presence._

_Not just yet._

_She rounded the corner peering over the wall to see. And her heart, if it could beat, would have done a flip._

_Ahri._

_Ahri._

_Ahri._

_Ahri has just finished what looks like a purchase from the apothecary._

_Unaccompanied as well but lingered outside just to enjoy the subtle cool chill._

_What hasn’t changed is that the gumiho had kept her headdress. It was more updated to fit the times, but it was gorgeous._

_It wasn’t fine silk or anything made fit for royalty. It was simple, red like the rose of House of Lancaster. How the gumiho keeps it attached to her head at all times must’ve been magic. Evelynn doesn’t doubt that magic is also what keeps Ahri looking young throughout the years._

_Her skin still as white as the first snowfall, amber eyes warm like the hearth and her smile enough to make cherubs jealous._

_Evelynn shook her head, keeping her frame flush against the wall._

_‘Cherubs? I must be going mad.’_

_Her time listening to Christian hymns was starting catch on._

_Her eyes lingered a little longer to appraise her former companion. She dared to see if Ahri’s eyes would lock with her own. Amber eyes honed in. And Evelynn felt the familiar sensation of dread._

_Ahri’s eyes were sharper, wiser but there was an unmistakable ache to them._

_Evelynn had to look away first, it was too much. It was far too much. This invisible hand creeping up to suffocate her._

_When she looked up again, Ahri had disappeared._

_Evelynn’s nose tried to find her scent, but the gumiho was gone._

_If she was gone, that would be fine. Evelynn left first, she should be okay if Ahri had left because...because that’s what she wanted right?_

_Then why did it ache? Why did it ache when she saw Ahri’s heartbroken expression?_

_‘Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.’_

  
  


_//_

_**836 C.E** _

  
  


_She doesn’t find Ahri again until she spends a winter in what would be called Germany._

_It had been several more years since her time in England._

_England was suffering through multiple roads from Germanic tribes. The succubus figured it was best to once again move more inland, toward the East to find more peace and quiet._

_But Germany offered no respite given her otherworldly looks. While it was fun for a time, it was a little unnerving. There’s just too many eyes and ears. She diplomatically took multiple visits to the countryside to a little cottage she owned._

_When her multiple suitors had inquired where she was going, she only patted their cheeks and whispered that she needed to visit her ailing father in the countryside._

_There had been multiple offers to accompany her, stating that they had wished to see her father, but it would invite too many questions._

_If she were to take Jacque with her, odds are she was going to get hungry at some point and then would return to England without him._

_There were now wardens and an investigation unit that was bound to keep the level of crime down, so she would need to be careful. She no longer had the guise of natural events. She had to plan her trips accordingly._

_She needed to be careful because talks of heretics and burning were enough to make her skin crawl._

  
  


_Her carriage reached a small cottage. It was obscure and quiet and there was supposed to be no soul around for miles._

_She needed to get away._

_She felt haunted the past couple of months since her first unofficial reunion with Ahri. With no human souls around for miles, she tried something that she failed to consider when she was traveling with the gumiho._

_She hunted animals. While she chose not to eat them raw, she was experienced enough to cook it over a fire with salt._

_Salt had been a lifesaver when it came to her more ‘human’ needs. She eats languidly, sipping on some wine that she had stored away. Wine had aged well when she traveled, she always made sure to keep a bottle on her many properties._

_Three days after her arrival, Evelynn decides to take a walk on the grounds. Then her nose twitched again._

_Citrus._

_Blood._

_Her heart pounded._

_She ran toward the direction of the mingled scents._

_Her mind dreads the worst._

_There was no way. There was absolutely no way._

_She pushed the branches from her face, her feet stumbling and tripping over raised roots. She was sure she rolled an ankle, but it didn’t matter_

_She stumbled into a clearing, then she saw her. Ahri in the forest covered in blood, her eyes ablaze and her teeth stained red._

_The snow around her was covered in blood. There was a mangled bear to Ahri’s right side and that same right hand held a liver._

_Ahri’s food source._

_Her normal state of dress was a sight to behold._

_The gumiho’s breath was labored, the soft pants manifesting into little clouds that were visible._

_The exertion needed to kill a bear was surely feasible, Evelynn assumed._

_But why was Ahri looking worse for wear?_

_It didn’t make any sense._

_Evelynn hadn’t said a word and just stood there panting, otherwise silent._

_Ahri was here, right in front of her._

_Ahri bent down calmly to pick up a fallen neckerchief and dabbed her lips as if nothing had gone amiss._

_“Ahri.”_

_“Evelynn.”_

_Her voice ragged, gruff and flat._

_Evelynn hated that her voice sounded relieved, but she had to change tactics. Ahri wasn’t used to her voice sounding so..so...affectionate._

_“Not going to pounce in my arms?“ Evelynn said lightly, her left hand placed high on her hip. “You were quite docile in our time together.”_

_Ahri said nothing._

_Her amber eyes glowed brightly under the moonlight and Evelynn actually shivered down her spine. Ahri looked feral, almost manic, but the calm posture and tone made her look more dangerous._

_“Hm.”_

_Ahri turned around and wandered toward the direction back into town. It was going to take her quite a while on foot, the succubus thought. But then again, she truly didn’t know Ahri’s full capabilities as a gumiho._

_Maybe she should’ve asked._

_But she didn’t look well._

_Evelynn opened her mouth to try to say something, anything to get Ahri to stay just a little while longer._

_“There are hunters around these parts. “ Evelynn called out awkwardly. “They haven’t caught anything bigger than a rabbit lately.”_

_The gumiho said nothing before sluggishly wandering in the direction of Evelynn._

_Ahri looked over her shoulder before disappearing entirely behind the treeline._

_“I hope they do catch something bigger.”_

_Something in her undead heart twitched._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  


_She finds Ahri the next night._

_The air was thick and heady._

_Not of arousal, but of looming death._

_The gumiho laid against the tree trunk. Her eyes were glazed and her mouth turned to a frown. Her body had cuts and scrapes, but what was most alarming was the size of the gash on her hip and what looked like a lance that had pierced her._

_A pool of blood dried and caked into the snow._

_“It would be you, Evelynn.” Ahri said, her voice a slight slur, her lips chapped and pale._

_“You found me yet again.”_

_Evelynn felt a wave of anger in her veins._

_They hurt her._

_They will pay dearly for this._

_Golden eyes scouted the scene, her lashers raised in alarm. They coiled to make a perimeter around her and the gumiho._

_“They’re gone. I’ve done away with them already. Their Lord or Savior gave them an accurate hit.” Ahri grunted as she sat more upright and waved her hand. Blue fox fire moving to seal the wounds to close._

_“I was quite sure they would’ve done me in. “ The gumiho offhandedly said with a hiss. Her brows furrowed in a slight grimace as the scent of burning flesh lingered in the air._

_Evelynn’s voice trembled, attempting to reign in her anger at the sight of Ahri’s condition,”You wanted to die?”_

_Ahri said nothing. She stood up on wobbly legs and turned away._

_“Where are you going?”_

_“Anywhere. “_

_“You’re wounded. “_

_“I have healing powers.”_

_A lasher reached out to grip the gumiho’s wrist._

_“Let me...let me…” Evelynn paused. Where was going with this?_

_Ahri pulled her wrist free as if she was burned. She moves to distance herself away from Evelynn, trying to collect herself._

_Her eyes filled with something._

_Pain._

_Loneliness._

_“You don’t have to be my keeper Evelynn.”_

_The words slapped Evelynn in the face. Her mouth dropped._

_**‘Be a good girl and go find someone else to be your keeper.’** _

_Leaving Evelynn stunned, with a wave of foxy fire, Ahri disappeared._

_Evelynn should’ve tried to keep her there, keep her rooted in place._

_Was this the last time she’ll see the gumiho again?_

_But she let gumiho leave, not before falling into her knees, hugging her arms and letting out her first tear in over a millenia._

_//_

_**1000 C.E** _

_Evelynn affirms that she would spend the next several centuries chasing after Ahri._

_She huffed as she managed to miss Ahri again in France just when she caught the scent of citrus fruit. Fox-beings are just as elusive as they say they are. She didn’t have a hard time finding Ahri when they were traveling together before._

_The gumiho was always within four meters of her. Either sniffing at flowers or finding a patch of sunlight to bask in. Or at night Ahri, would cuddle close to her side._

_The insufferable cuddle monster._

_Ahri would be asleep four meters from her, but by the early morning sun Evelynn would find herself wrapped around tails and a dozing Ahri on her lap._

_Evelynn didn’t know better._

_She didn’t know that the tightness in her chest was something akin to affection._

_She didn’t know that this act would be now precious to her._

_Ahri chose to be affectionate despite her own ill temper._

_Evelynn recalled a conversation after letting her annoyance get the better of her. She snapped at Ahri, who was scooting closer in the middle of the night on her side of the bed. Her lashers jabbed at the foxy’s side sharply, but not enough to draw blood._

_Ahri's eyes showed a flash of hurt that was masked just as quickly, but still shuffled closer just enough so there was still space between them._

_“It’s hard to feel warm as a gumiho.” Ahri explained simply, but offered no further explanation._

_“Your foxfire does nothing to warm you?” Evelynn remembered she sounded bitter._

_She had forgotten what she was so worked up about that very night._

_Ahri gave her a wry smile before closing her eyes._

_“Is it so terrible that I enjoy your company? Indulge me a little while longer. Please Evelynn.”_

_The way she said it too. Melancholy laced her words. Evelynn frowned, guilt simmering. Had Ahri expected that Evelynn would leave anyway?_

_Is that why Ahri didn’t pursue her for an explanation? Is that why, instead of following, she torched the Earth she walked?_

_Evelynn shook her head. She shouldn’t be vain. Ahri didn’t revolve around her life like that. It's a coincidence surely._

_Her left hand reaches to clutch the fabric right above her undead heart. The succubus now knew that the tightness she felt in her chest when she thinks of Ahri is regret._

  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_**1300 C.E** _

_She stops her pursuit of Ahri somewhere just shy of boarding a ship heading East._

_Far East, to the lands that Ahri was from._

_She figured that if Ahri wanted to appear, she would appear when she wanted to and not another moment before._

_She keeps her many contacts (at least while they were alive) on the lookout for a girl with raven hair, skin as white as snow and eyes like the setting sun. Her search was in vain._

_She looks to other pursuits instead._

_She tried poetry._

_She tried cooking._

_She tried teaching._

_She tried mathematics._

_She went to university, incognito but nonetheless._

_She was in the company of men, women, kings and queens._

_Yet there was still nothing. She felt powerful, but it meant nothing._

_She had no one to share it with._

  
  


_//_

_**156** **7 C.E** _

_**Prague** _

_Evelynn was walking the streets, the gentle smell of baked bread was filling the alleyway. Her hair was gently tucked in a shawl to keep the chill away, her arms in loose fists as she trudged onward to her destination._

_The air was filled with the subtle scent of citrus. If her heart could speed up, it did. It only meant one thing._

_Ahri was in town again._

_“It’s you again.”_

_It had been quite some time, maybe a good a hundred years or so...or was it the plague? But then again, which plague was it?_

_“Hello Evelynn,” A soft yet disarming smile. There was no sign of lingering resentment in her voice, considering their last tense meeting. This was a significant improvement. Unless Ahri had spent the better half of her time away to practice hiding her emotions; then she had mastered it._

_Evelynn wouldn't know. The succubus also spent her time practicing keeping a cold facade._

_“Ahri, my love, I see that you have no escort?”_

_She says the term of endearment reflexively. She has yet to use it on anyone else since their last encounter._

_It would never roll off her tongue in that way._

_Another thing she would let Ahri get away with._

_A gleam flashed through those amber eyes._

_“Escort? Evelynn, my dear, you know that we have no need for it. “ Her accent was muted but still present with certain rolls of her tongue, though her Czech was near perfect._

_“People love to talk.”_

_“I’m only here in passing, Evelynn.”_

_Evelynn sighed and dropped all the pretense. She looped her arms with the younger woman and strode off into the night heading toward Evelynn’s humble cottage._

_“Join me for tea then.”_

_Ahri said nothing and let herself be guided away, her arm firmly interlocked with the succubus._

_“Would you believe me if I told you that I missed you?” Evelynn said as they walked quietly._

_If Ahri was the sun, then Evelynn was the moon._

_The pair circled each other for several centuries, never quite in each other’s orbit for more than a day's worth. But something in Evelynn’s still heart told her that her dear gumiho will be sticking around town for a little while._

_As they passed, they turned down the carriage ride that carried two respectable gentlemen._

_When they reached the cottage, Ahri pulled off the shawl over her head and unlaced her boots. She neatly files them next to Evelynn’s before sitting on the wooden table as the succubus fiddles with the kettle._

_Evelynn’s heart sank when she didn’t receive a response throughout the whole walk._

_It was quite the journey about a half an hour now._

_A despondent Ahri is a foreign Ahri._

_“So what brings you here? You’re never one to avoid questions. Unless you missed me?”_

_Ahri drummed her hand, her lips curled into a smirk. She snorted._

_“You’re never one for idle chatter Evelynn.”_

_“If words be truer, then yes. ” Evelynn stated as a solemn fact, “Let me change that. Please.”_

_Ahri looked at her doubtfully. Evelynn bit her lip and sighed. She expected this much. Why would Ahri trust her now?_

_“I’m the only one of my kind.”_

  
  


_**//** _

  
  


_**K/DA Manor...** _

  
Evelynn let the silence stretch between them. These talks were never easy. It was never easy to be this vulnerable with emotions. 

She wondered what would’ve happened if Ahri had kin?

  
  


_‘I’d forgotten that she was the only one of her kind._ _Companionship is important to her.’_

But she had left the gumiho first. She should’ve realized that Ahri’s need for a companion is more than just loneliness. And she could never take it back. 

She couldn’t take back the centuries of pain that she didn’t need to inflict on the two of them. 

Prague. 

Prague was the tipping point. 

  
  


//

  
  


_“Is that why you left me back in Germany? You tried to find your kin?”_

_Ahri ignores the question._

_“Are you the only one of your kind Evelynn?”_

_Evelynn's eyes softened. She poured the tea with practiced ease. She placed one cup in front of Ahri and one for herself. She slid into the chair opposite of the gumiho, hands cupping the cup for warmth. “No I’m not. I’m aware of who is a succubus, but there are...well, plenty of us quite frankly.”_

_Ahri took a deep quivering breath. Evelynn’s hand went to grasp the gumiho’s hand in hers._

_A pause._

_Then tears dripped down amber eyes._

_“Why...why am I tortured like this Evelynn?” Ahri said, devoid of any emotion. The tears betrayed her inner turmoil._

_“Have you scoured the land?” Evelynn asked quietly. She wasn’t sure if she was going to like the answer. “Are you certain?”_

_“When I found out that I was the only one left, I torched the Eastern peninsula.”_

_She said this with such bitterness in a way that the most spiteful of women would envy. Blue foxfire covered the gumiho form. The fire that Evelynn expected to be burned was cool like ice. It burned, but it burned with loneliness that not even Evelynn can relate to._

_Evelynn’s eyebrows raised. It was usually the succubus who would have cared less about hiding her heritage. Frankly, she was quite open but no one was alive to tell the tale._

_The gumiho, on the other hand, was quiet about her nature. Quite like a fox, mischievous, wild, but elusive. To hear that Ahri has leveled towns and cities. It was quite unheard of._

_“They had killed a gumiho child, he was barely walking. They torched him on a pyre because of his ears. ‘Demon’ they cried. They were right. They burned him. So I burned their country to the ground.”_

_The flames that flickered around Ahri, died much like the coals on the hearth just a few feet away._

_“His parents?”_

_“Dead.”_

_Evelynn's frown deepened._

_‘Surely there was no reasonable explanation that Ahri was the last of her kind.’_

_“I hated that my claws reeked of human blood for weeks. My clothes stained red, I couldn't wash it off.”_

_The tears continued to drip._

_“Gumiho’s have a unique scent. You would find kin. But I smell nothing. No trace or sign of gumihos that are living. Except for rotting Earth and decaying bodies.”_

_“Am I cursed to be alone?” Ahri gave a watery laugh. She pulled out a handkerchief from her breast and dabbed her eyes._

_“You left too. The fault is mine surely. Was I too much?” Ahri asked but more to herself._

_Evelynn was silent. Her golden eyes dripped in shame._

_“Can we pretend that tonight we’re friends? That nothing is amiss?”_

_“Ahri…” Evelynn wanted to retort. They were friends. Companions at least._

_But the words wouldn’t come out._

_“Very well. “_

_“And there’s something else. There’s something I want to do. “_

_“What is it?”_

_“Can I spend the night here? It’s much too cold outside.”_

_Evelynn and Ahri then curled in bed together. The gumiho kept her distance on the bed, much like the way she did back in the forests tracking across the crumbling Roman Empire._

_Her arms curled to her chest and her tail wrapped around her waist so that it wouldn’t attempt to reach Evelynn._

_Her eyes were closed but Evelynn knew she wasn’t asleep._

_Ahri was resting. It was better than outside right now. Far too much noise of clanking feet falls. The ground underneath her back was much too hard._

_Evelynn’s bed in all her grandeur was quite soft. The linens felt like kisses against her scarred cheeks. Her body sank into a goose feather mattress. The fatigue and aches were slowly being soothed._

_The comfort should be enough. Just for a moment's rest. If she slept fully, she wasn’t sure she’d be in control of her own body._

_Ahri keeps still. Practiced her breathing. Feign sleep like she feigned her identity. Another layer of protection._

_Evelynn filled the silence by humming quietly._

_The succubus can see (or more like feel) the battle that Ahri was having internally. At any sign that Ahri was slipping into sleep, she would jostle awake subtly._

_Another sign that was troubling was that Ahri was suffering. Agony and misery came in waves. It was bleeding out of Ahri’s form._

_If it were to manifest, it was spilling in the crevices of the bedroom._

_Evelynn scooted closer and gently wrapped her arms around Ahri’s waist. Gently tugging her closer to her form so that Ahri was tucked tightly into her embrace._

_Ahri didn’t say a word but allowed her body to be manipulated curled into that embrace. Tears dropped for her eyes but she kept her breathing steady._

_She won’t be vulnerable._

_She won’t._

_She won’t._

_She -_

_“Forgive me, my love. Let me hold you like this. Just for tonight. “_

_Desperate for warmth that Evelynn was unable to give, Ahri relents._

_“Warm?” Her own voice was shaky._

_A small chirp of approval was her only reply._

_Moments later, Ahri was asleep. Tension released. The gumiho was limp in her arms. There was that subtle chirping noise that Evelynn swears that she missed hearing._

_The waves of agony, misery and loneliness faded, save for the subtle scent of salt, citrus and apples._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_Evelynn woke up the next morning alone. There was a note on the bed along with the cream handkerchief._

**_‘This handkerchief never held anyone’s scent aside from my own. Not even when I was a kit. If I were to be gone from this world...at least…’_ **

_There were teardrops on the paper._

**_‘Maybe this way you can keep me.’ - Ahri_ **

_Evelynn cursed and crumpled the parchment in her fist. She was unsure what to do with such a prized trinket._

_The scent was strong of Ahri’s natural scent._

_It was to be a memento._

_‘Was Ahri planning to…?’_

_Evelynn wasn’t sure._

_She brought it to her nose and breathed deeply. She wasn’t going to let Ahri go this time._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_She finds Ahri on the edge of the pier. It was late. No one was around._

_“Evelynn. “_

_“Ahri. “_

_“What are you doing here?”_

_“Let me comfort you. “_

_Ahri shook her head. “You’re here because you’re guilty. There’s no need for that. I don’t need to absolve you._

_“Ahri…”_

_“Pray to your gods for that because I already did last night. It’s the last thing I wanted. “_

_“What are you saying?”_

_“I’m returning to the Far East, I’m not coming back.”_

_Evelynn walked up to Ahri and smacked her in the face. Ahri was unfazed and smacked her back._

_Then a lasher came out. And so did nine tails._

_Too many eyes and too many ears would soon hear the low growls between the pair._

_Evelynn, with a snap of her finger, let the shadows wrap between her and Ahri and dragged/teleported the pair towards an empty forest clearing._

_When the shadows settled, she barely had time to blink and sidestep. Ahri’s clawed hands went for the throat. A lasher reflexively came to intercept and pierce but Ahri was able to nimbly dodge away._

_“I am giving you the chance to be rid of me!” Ahri screamed as she darted forward. Her claws raised looking for an opening. “Leave me be!”_

_“You insufferable fox!” Evelynn growled as she shuffled to distance herself. Her lashers acted as a barrier between the smaller snarling demoness._

_Her boot caught in a root and she stumbled._

_Ahri seized her chance._

_Splash!_

_Evelynn choked, a hand pierced her straight into her waist, claws gripping her innards. The succubus wheezed at the tight grip, feeling her blood pool to the ground below. It is with luck that she stood standing, her own hands keeping Ahri rooted in place._

_She bit her lip to keep the blood from spilling out her mouth but it was not possible. Blood dropped from her lips as her pants turned to painful wheezes._

_“I’ll kill you. I’ve killed thousands. I’ve leveled the ground.”_

_A twist._

_“Hck!”_

_A rough tug._

_“I have no need for a keeper.”_

_Evelynn saw dark circles lining her vision._

_“I have no need for a protector!” Ahri all but whispered, her voice slowly being hoarse. Her eyes wide in fury, pain and indignation._

_Evelynn gasped but used that position to tug Ahri. Lashers wrapped around the gumiho to keep her in place. And then she used her own arms to hold Ahri._

_Tenderly._

_As she should’ve done back in Italy in that lowly cottage._

_She cared not for the claw inside her. She cared not for the blue fire that enveloped her and Ahri burned hotter than the summer sun. She cared not that she felt closer to death at this moment._

_Evelynn let a tear drop, keeping her forehead pressed against Ahri’s. “I’ll be your keeper and your protector. Even if the world burns, I will not leave your side again. I swear it.”_

_“I’ll keep you.” Evelynn whispered, pulling away slightly to wipe the tears from Ahri’s eyes. “I’ll keep you close.”_

_Ahri stopped squirming, the anger leaving her at last. She yanked out her hand and gripped Evelynn’s tunic like her lifeline._

_She howled into the air. She released all the agony she carried, letting the succubus feed to heal the wounds she inflicted._

_She cried at the betrayal of being left behind._

_She cried over the loss of her kin._

_She cried for the innocent lives she took in her fit of rage._

_She cried till she felt no more._

_The blue burning shroud that enveloped Ahri dwindled to but a small flame between the two. Evelynn felt the warmth of foxfire intertwined with her own._

_Ahri reached out and Evelynn invited her in._

_Purple and blue flames circling one another._

_Melding into a single orange flame._

_Soft and warm like with an open hearth._

_The warmth that had dreamed about for a millennia was a salve to her open wounds._

_Warmth filled the gumiho._

_“Evelynn.”_

_“Yes love?”_

_At the term of endearment, not out of jest, annoyance or spite, it was spoken out of pure adoration. Amber eyes pricked with another wave of tears, this time with unbridled joy._

_“Let’s go home.”_

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**K/DA Manor**

  
  


“We know you take care of us and we are grateful, but Ahri. Ahri, my darling girl, we don’t want you to suffer for those freedoms you talked about.”

Ahri moved her head so that she could bury her nose in Evelynn’s shoulder. “I’m just worried all the time. I know what I’m doing isn’t good. And it’s not a good reason. It’s just better this way.”

“These new conditions will hopefully make things better and manageable for all of us. Not just you. It’s not to punish you, Ahri. I want you to see that.”

Ahri nodded sadly. 

Evelynn waited, there was something else. She could see the gumiho open and close her mouth several times. Her brows furrow in frustration as she tries to formulate the words.

“And...when you said you’d leave. And that...Akali and Kai’Sa would follow. I-I…”

She let out a whimper. “I can’t stop that...I can’t stop people from leaving Evelynn. I can’t force you to stay if you don’t want to. And I never want to make that seem like the only decision.”

Evelynn frowned, running a hand through Ahri’s blonde locks. “I should’ve never made that empty threat.”

_‘I should never have given you a reason to doubt in the first place.’_

_‘I shouldn’t be the one that left first.’_

“It sounded so real…” 

The succubus pressed her forehead against Ahri’s, reminiscent of pups comforting each other.

“I’m sorry. The girls should have never been a bargaining chip against you.” Evelynn said with her eyes closed. Her heart sank to her stomach at the thought. Ever since her declaration in Prague, she would never abandon Ahri. She swore that on her undead heart. 

“I’ve forgotten that I had a part in this. I will still atone for those sins.”

Ahri held Evelynn tighter and sobbed, “I love you so much Evie.”

“I love you Ahri. I will help us get through this. Let the girls in. Let us help.” The succubus’s voice was full of emotion. 

Ahri nodded and rubbed her nose against Evelynn’s collarbone, taking comfort in the familiar scent. 

Not of motor oil or pomegranates. 

It’s the scent of home. Of stone pine, of subtle scent of incense on an open hearth, and of apples. 

It was Ahri’s own little piece of Evelynn. The Evelynn of Rome, England, Germany, France and Prague. 

The world may have changed, but her sense of smell hasn’t changed. 

The first home she found in Evelynn that fateful day in Prague. The home where her heart was accepted. 

  
  
  


//

  
  


**Later that evening...**

  
  


After her talk with Evelynn, the gumiho spent the remainder of her afternoon soaking up the undivided attention the succubus gave to her. 

They had binged a season of a cooking show.

They ate one of Akali’s ramyun stashes, citing that it was a good day. 

They took a selfie together with Evelynn holding a half dozed Ahri in her arms.

Hearts and comments flooded the comment section enough to send the pair in fits of laughter. 

  
  


//

  
  


***picture***

**allure_eve** @riridafoxy keeping her close

Comments:

[13789 likes] ASDFGHJKL FUCK YOU, FUCK ME. THE WORLD AND YOUR BIAS IS CANCELED. AHRYNN SUPREMACY. I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS

[4924 likes] okay but forreal thooooooooo who tops? 👀👀👀

[29430 likes] STAPH BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP #akalynn #kahri 

[3858 likes] *see translation* daaaaebak… heoool Akali-ah, Kai’Sa-yah get your girlfriends back!

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


They didn’t cease their embrace till after Akali and Kai’Sa returned home, bickering as they stepped through the front door. 

The maknae-line cooed at the sight of the two eldest members being cute together before returning to their petty arguments once more. 

Evelynn shrugged and nudged the gumiho off her lap so that she could return to her other tasks that she left unfinished. 

Ahri and Kai’Sa shared tea and a light dinner, with the gumiho stating that she'd have an early bedtime. 

Turns out she wasn’t able to sleep quite yet. 

_Knock! Knock!_

Ears swiveled and she sat up in bed. 

She padded to the door to see Kai’Sa looking at her with adoration and a hint of nervousness. 

Kai’Sa’s smile grew wider at the sight of Ahri using her sweater to go to sleep. Though, the gumiho had foregone her black leggings for shorts instead. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

The dancer reaches to interlace her fingers with Ahri. “Can I come in?”

Ahri pulls her in, their hands still intertwined. 

Kai’Sa sits at the edge of the bed with Ahri next to her. 

The pair toying with each other’s fingertips in their interlaced hands. It was squishy and it made Ahri giggle. Her fingertips were always sensitive. 

“A nightmare?”

The dancer shakes her head, “Nothing like that.”

Ahri hummed unsure what to say. 

“I wanted to check in on you. Evelynn went to talk to you. “ She gave Ahri a sheepish smile. “I’m surprised no blood is hanging from those fangs of yours. “

  
  


“She doesn’t taste good.” Ahri huffed. She flopped down on her bed, stretching a little till her back popped. Kai’Sa winced at the sound. She would keep an eye on that later. 

  
  


“So much emotional talk. I feel so pooped.” Ahri admitted, throwing her free hand over her eyes. “I didn’t think we’d talk today, that’s all. But I got the keys to my office. “

Kai’Sa pursed her lips. From her, covered eyes Ahri could practically feel the dancer pout. 

Ahri sat up and cupped Kai’Sa’s cheek, stroking her jaw with slight pressure, “I will do better. No late nights. And I help you with breakfast, lunch and dinner. “

“Can you even cook?” Kai’Sa snarked, idly fiddling with Ahri’s slender fingers. “You’re a food thief like Akali.”

A tail smack against her stomach. 

“Sorry. I was joking.” Kai’Sa cracked a smirk. “But am I really?”

Another soft smack. 

“Okay! Okay! Really, I’ll stop teasing.”

Ahri matched her grin, amber eyes twinkling in the moonlight. They giggled for a moment. 

“So _what_ did you talk about today with Evelynn?”

Ahri snuggled closer to Kai’Sa. She booped Kai’Sa on the nose.

“Prague.”

Kai’Sa remembered that there was quite a history between the two resident demonesses. However, what seems to be a pivotal point is history is the story of Prague. The dancer hopes that one day that the gumiho would be open in showing more insight about the shenanigans that went down in Prague. 

Either way, she was relieved that now everyone in K/DA has sorted out lingering issues that related to Ahri’s prolonged isolation and excessive workload. 

Things were looking up. And she was more than happy to ride out this wavelength as much as possible before the drop of their new EP. 

Silence filled them for a moment, save for the sounds of thumping tails against the blankets. 

“Kai’Sa, would you stay here with me tonight?” Ahri whispered, her ears flattening a little. She was unsure if she was going to get rejected. She hated to admit she was always apprehensive asking. 

After today, after this week, she wanted to indulge a little more. Only if Kai’Sa would let her. 

It was hard for gumiho’s to feel any warmth. It was only after spending more time with Evelynn that she explained her reasoning. For Ahri to grow up without a mother, a father, or a family, it was hard to find warmth, _that semblance_ of warmth that filled her bones and made her sigh in bliss. But here with K/DA she can finally have some understanding of how this emotion can so _so precious._

Kai’Sa doesn’t respond, and instead pulls Ahri by the wrist so they fall into bed together. 

Strong, warm arms held her loosely, courteously just above the waist. 

Ahri shivered at the feeling of the warmth she felt from Kai’Sa. Her tails freely wrap around Kai’Sa’s calves, cementing her hold. 

“Warm?” Kai’Sa said drowsily after some time, her hands slowly moving to rub Ahri’s clothed back to soothe her to sleep. 

Ahri sighed happily and rubbed her cheek against Kai’Sa’s sternum. She was fading so quick.

Fading. 

Falling. 

Same thing. If the end result was being embraced her dancer’s arms, definitions didn’t matter. 

Right?

“안전한…”

The sounds of hundreds of marbles hitting carpet filled the air as the two slumbered peacefully.

  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Click! Click!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


**3:00 A.M KST**

**In the group chat… K/DA + StarGurl + Bao**

  
  


**Akali** : yo sera! change of plans! eevee and i will come get you! she is driving rn she won’t respond. 

  
  
  


**Seraphine** : Oh! That’s very sweet of you! My flight is currently docking :) is Kai’Sa and Ahri-Unnie alright? :O

  
  
  


**Akali** : *insert picture* 

**Akali** : id say so TEEHEE

  
  
  


**Seraphine** : o//////////o 

**Seraphine:** Oh my. That is so adorable! 

**Seraphine** : …

 **Seraphine** : Wait… isn’t Ahri-Unnie and Kai’Sa in this group chat?

  
  
  


**Akali** : oh yeah...can you protect me from kai?

  
  
  


**Evelynn** : _*audio message* No_ **_._ **

  
  
  


**Seraphine** : Wouldn’t...Ahri-Unnie be more…upset?

  
  
  


**Akali** : trust me Sera. trust me on this. foxy-unnie will thank me later

  
  
  


**Seraphine** : Okay! But what about Kai’Sa?

  
  
  


**Kai’Sa** : :) 

  
  
  


**Akali** : oh fuck me in the ass right now

  
  


**Evelynn** : _*audio message* we’ll talk about it later darling._

  
  
  


**Seraphine** : … Hi Kai’Sa?

  
  
  


**Akali** : … hi kai-kai?

  
  
  


**Kai’Sa** : See you at home Akali Jhomen Tehti :)

  
  
  


**Akali** : IANDKSODOCNDIZOAOWJFISOEICJSJSHAUSJDJIDNEJDIENNEISNN I SWEAR IT WASNT ME!!!!!!!!!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #32
> 
> \- Evelynn is more task orientated when it comes to caring for K/DA at least publically. She handles the chores, the shopping, the nitty gritty details if it meant giving Ahri, Kai’Sa and Akali a break from stress.
> 
> Asscanon #33
> 
> \- When Ahri is stressed she goes into hiding because small spaces are comforting to her. The girls would find her in odd spaces and try to coax her to come out.
> 
> Asscanon #34  
> \- Evelynn's clicks her tongue to alert her presence if she teleports via shadows Especially for Kai’Sa and Ahri who are more skittish to loud noises. Akali is more aware of her surroundings due to her training so she’s not particularly bothered.
> 
> Asscanon #35  
> \- Kai'Sa sings while she works, "I'm going to wash these dishes~! And then I'm going to do the laundry!~"
> 
> Asscanon #36  
> \- Evelynn and Ahri are great at the barbecue; centuries of forest cooking does wonders for pinics and camping trips.  
> \- Akali likes to use her kunai instead of fishing rod to catch fish.  
> \- Kai'Sa to save her life can't catch anything. It's adorable to see her frustrated. "Do they think my bait is not tasty?"  
> \- "You're already a snaccc!" Akali says.
> 
> H-hello? You okay? Did the feels get you? Tell me tell me tell me tell me :3 teehee


	11. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai’Sa and Ahri’s days start and end with each other.  
> Evelynn gags.  
> Seraphine is a hidden shipper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for to @melody7321 for editing this for me :)
> 
> And please listen to (G)-IDLE - Dahlia for maximum feels~
> 
> I just really like Seraphine. She’ll be a part of this story. Her story about mental health and rising to fame is something that is worth exploring and can be integrated well with K/DA :)
> 
> Also it's formatted to be best read on the phone

//

Kai’Sa hadn’t forgotten about the photo that Akali posted. The rogue was so going to get it in when they returned. 

The only downside of leaving her door unlocked the majority of the time. 

But even if she laid awake a little bit longer, due to being disturbed by the messages on her phone, she was just awake long enough to hear the car enter the garage. Evelynn, Akali, Seraphine and Bao had returned safely, her heart feeling more at ease already despite her annoyance with a little rogue. 

There was some shuffling around, which she assumes are the young singer’s bags and guitar, but otherwise the three women were quiet. She’d leave to greet her but after hearing some yawns outside her door, it was better to wait till later in the morning when everyone had gotten a little bit more sleep. 

Kai’Sa doubly made sure that her phone was on silent, void of any alarms and notifications. She remembered that she pulled the gumiho closer to her chest and promptly passed out again. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


The next time she wakes the time read 8:47 A.M. 

Her one hand propped to keep her head up while the other gently rubbed the dozing gumiho’s back. The subtle purrs told her that Ahri was still soundly asleep. 

It was definitely a lot later than her usual wake up time, but she didn’t feel like leaving the bed quite yet. She leaned over and saw that Ahri had buried her nose in one of her many pillows, making subtle whuffing noises. A giggle escaped her lips at the thought of Ahri being a little more scent-directed in her sleep instead of touch-directed. Fingers nudged the pillow slightly so Ahri could actually have proper airflow. 

It proved to be futile, as Ahri made a displeased grunt and went back to her original position. 

Her blonde hair was messy and wild but it billowed out around her purple sheets like a golden beacon. Legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets. 

She could stare all day, she wasn’t wrong when she said she was fixated in her orbit. Not when she looked this beautiful and at peace. 

Kai’Sa had to eventually get her morning routine started.

She tiptoed around, trying to keep the noise to a minimum as she brushed her teeth and took a quick rinse in the shower to wake up a little more before closing the door quietly behind her. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


Kai’Sa eventually made her way to the kitchen around 9:17 A.M. It was a definite later start in her day. She assumed that due to the time change it might be difficult for Seraphine to actually sleep. She carefully creates a small breakfast platter - she tries American fried eggs and bacon - and puts the kettle on. 

Eventually, the smell of brewing coffee and tea would be enough to entice the two eldest members to make their way into the dining table.

She had just started to plate the food when she heard small padding and what sounds like nails scratching the floor. 

Kai’Sa turned around to see a sheepish smile. 

“H-Hi! Good morning Kai’Sa.”

Seraphine’s hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, her signature pink to purple ombre hair bouncing as she slid onto the kitchen island. 

“Good morning sweetheart. I’m sorry for the lack of formal introductions.” Kai’Sa laughed, setting a plate before the younger woman. She goes to the cupboard and pulls out kitty food and scoops out a meal worth, setting it on the floor. 

A white mass then snaked around her ankles rubbing aggressively. The meowing sounded more like screaming in the later morning and it echoed throughout the manor. 

“Bao!” Seraphine gasped, about to run over to pick him up. “Oh sorry he’s usually not like this!” 

Kai'Sa waved it off and bent down to give the cat a strong scritch, making Bao roll on the floor and exposing his tummy to the dancer, “Nonsense, Bao is adorable! And he’s a part of your family which makes him ours too.”

Bao purrs some more (somehow reminding her of a little gumiho in her bed) before digging into his food, leaving his rubbing post for now. He was bound to return. 

Seraphine eats quietly while Kai’Sa drinks her coffee. They idly chat about what the young singer was interested in doing for her first day in Seoul. Since there were restrictions from usual activities, the two discussed what were the safer options for the group to get to know each other more. And especially since Seraphine had traveled abroad, she would have to do a mandatory fourteen day quarantine at least in the current household. 

Considering that Ahri and Evelynn were impervious to sickness (unless it was self-induced; a certain gumiho), Kai’Sa’s floating symbiotes flushed her system from toxins regularly, Akali was a bit of a shut in, they were relatively okay. 

Seraphine updated them almost everyday about her condition as well and it turned out that instead of First-Class travel in the way that Ahri would’ve wanted it, Evelynn went the extra mile and used their private jet. 

Did it kill the environment faster? She remembered talking Evelynn’s ear off for about fifteen minutes. 

Evelynn tutted Kai’Sa and gave her a charming smile almost rivaling Ahri’s. _Almost_.

_“Just this one time, my dear. One time. Well two, because she would have to return soon. I have all this money and she’d be the only one on the flight except for our pilot. It will be safe. I will ensure it.”_

Sure enough, Seraphine and Bao were safe and healthy. Indoor activities for the most part. If it’s outside then it has to stay on the K/DA property line. Thankfully, the land space they lived on had more than enough room for some outdoor shenanigans. 

They considered a really big movie binge where they could talk about the plot lines (everyone in K/DA can’t watch movies quietly apparently), an at-home barbecue or a hot pot banquet. 

The prolonged discussions had the smaller woman yawning a bit. The time difference was slowly taking its toll, but Seraphine refused to spend her first day sleeping. This was exciting!

She was here with her favourite artists; she didn’t want to miss a minute. 

“We also have group naps.” Kai’Sa giggled at the slight dozing look that Seraphine had. “Akali is the cuddle bug. She’ll find someone to nap with her and you might be her next target.”

“Maybe a little later.” Seraphine said while stifling another yawn. It must be the food, food always made her sleepy.  
  


“Speaking of which, what time does everyone normally wake up?”

Kai’Sa tapped her chin thoughtfully, before taking a long sip of her coffee. “It’s been rather up and down for us the past week.”

She cooly didn’t bring up the emotional upheavals of the past couple days, but other than that it was relatively true. Everyone’s sleeping schedule had been really off. 

Evelynn and Akali had to temporarily adjust their sleeping schedule to fill the role as managers for Ahri. Kai’Sa had been sleeping in longer, because well, she’s been sleeping with Ahri to make sure she got adequate rest. 

And she had to admit waking up at 5:30 A.M everyday seemed so trivial if it meant lounging around a little longer to hear those purrs. 

It felt like her own private show. Her own little place of heaven.

Not that she would tell the others though.

“Evelynn and Akali sleep pretty late and wake up pretty late. I think you can expect that though. I wake up at 5:30 A.M everyday, but it’s because I like the quiet in the morning and it gives me a chance to make food for everyone. Now before you ask, yes, I really don’t mind cooking for everyone.”

Seraphine grinned.

“I feel that you’ll be much better in the kitchen than Ahri and Akali. Food hounds, the lot of them.”

“What about Ahri-unnie?”

Kai’Sa then nodded to the hallway that connected to the kitchen.

“Speak of the devil and she shall appear.”

The devil in question then slumped into the kitchen, her eyes squinting in the morning sun. Kai’Sa’s smile turned soft and tender and mushy and all the synonyms to describe the clouds as the gumiho dragged herself to Kai’Sa. 

Ahri tugged sleepily on Kai’Sa’s shirt and the dancer lifted her arms slightly. The gumiho wrapped her arms around her waist, her clawed hands interlocking with themselves instead of against those chiseled abs. 

It was all reflexive. Courteous even when half-awake, Kai’Sa mused. 

The gumiho buried her head on Kai’Sa’s shoulder, making unhappy whuffing noises at the sight of the sun. 

Kai’Sa’s voice dropped to a whisper, “This _one_ is quite a chore to wake up. It takes her forever. Gotta wake her up gently or she’ll be so grumpy.”  
  
Seraphine cooed, hands tucked beneath her chin at the sight as Kai’Sa made joking angry faces at the drowsy gumiho. 

“Come now Ahri,” Kai’Sa said in a sing-song voice while prodding a squishy cheek. “Tea is ready, food is ready!~”

“그만해…” Ahri whined, burying further into the shoulder to avoid the prodding finger. 

_(Stoooop it…)_

“Seraphine’s here…”

Seraphine giggled before whispering in her own sing-song tone, “G’morning unnie!~”

One eyelid opened, revealing an amber eye. Then, she buried her face back into Kai’Sa’s shoulder and whined some more. 

“Kai....그녀가 여기 있다고 말하지 않았잖아…”

_(Kai...you didn’t tell me she was heeeeere...)_

“Your nose should’ve told you that we have new people here…” 

_“_ 제가 어떻게 알아요? 내 냄새는 너뿐이야… _”_

( _How should I know? All I smell is you..._ )

Kai’Sa softened at the sudden burst of Korean and softened some more at the implication. Well then again, Ahri doesn’t really flex her polyglot status. The gumiho always quipped that BLADES and Deevas were too busy thirsting over her own South African accent, there was no need to flex her own when she had multiple lifetimes to learn. 

Ahri was more than content to be their designated “Korean” representative. Akali was their designated “Japanese” representative. And Evelynn was their “European” representative. Kai’Sa herself was everything else in between. From sign-language to several rare native tongues, Kai’Sa really wanted all of their audiences to be included. 

Maybe it’s the reason why their fans had truly held K/DA closely to their hearts. 

She was getting distracted. 

Hearing Ahri _just_ speak in Korean was a definite treat. She knew that she had been hearing Ahri say the same word the past two nights, but to her dismay, she can’t rack her brain to decipher it’s meaning.

She was _definitely_ getting distracted. 

Kai’Sa blushed at the sudden display of cutesy Ahri and patted the arms around her waist. 

“I swear she’s _really not like this_.”

Seraphine had to drink from her coffee mug to hide the shit-eating grin on her lips. The songstress was deeply aware of the shipping wars that went on on social media. And if she was honest she was definitely not immune to them. But of course she was here in a professional capacity, she won’t comment on it because she’s just grateful for the opportunity to even be in their presence. 

But if she was honest, she had definitely been right about her guesses after all. 

In her opinion, Akalynn and Kahri were endgame. 

“It happens. Bao just likes to suffocate me if it means I’ll wake up.” She eyed her cat with small glare. 

It was probably only five minutes before Ahri really felt more alive. She untangled herself from the dancer and slouched on to the open seat next to Seraphine. 

The songstress had to stifle a giggle as a furry tail went to wrap around Kai’Sa’s middle instead. The dancer did _absolutely_ nothing to bat it off. Kai’Sa had to reach over to the kettle with her long arms. She poured the hot water over the black tea leaves before dropping a small portion of milk that was already on the table next to Seraphine. 

Ahri reached for the warmth and her ears perked up at the feeling of the mug in between her finger tips. It sent a pleasant hum through her veins as her lips took a full sip of tea. 

Just the way she likes it prepared. Kai’Sa was truly good to her. 

Kai’Sa and Seraphine continued to talk quietly as they waited for the gumiho to fully awaken. Ahri ate slowly and her eyes started to look more lively. Her curled form slowly straightening out so that she looked more like her usual self. 

“Morning…” Ahri mumbled, rubbing her eyes. Her accent was thicker and heavier.

“Hi-hi!” 

Ahri gave her an embarrassed grin. 

They continued to chatter, but apparently both Seraphine and Ahri were struggling to formulate some words. Kai’Sa laughed as she could safely assume that it was the grogginess in both singers that was what made it difficult. Hands were flailing as the two of them started to introduce each other. There was no shortage of flubbing involved.

Ahri laughed. “My English is rusty too. You’d think after being alive so long I would’ve mastered more languages. “

Seraphine and Kai’Sa’s mouths dropped. 

Ahri blinked, “I thought that common knowledge Seraphine…I’m immortal? Is it not?”

Seraphine continued to gape at her. 

“You’re joking right?” Ahri said blandly. “Seriously? I’ve been a popstar for five years and people are still confused?”

“So you’re not a _furry?_ ” Seraphine asked blankly before her lips curled into a smirk. “Just kidding!”

Ahri rubbed her forehead, “You and Akali would get along _sooooooo_ well together. Damn maknaes.”

Kai’Sa and Seraphine burst out laughing, and Ahri grumped while she drank her hot tea. 

  
  
  


//

  
  


No surprise there. They totally did. 

Akali and Seraphine fit like two peas in a pod. Well three, since Akali and Seraphine loved pulling Kai’Sa in their random adventures for the weekend.

Ahri already heard at least several things hitting the wooden floorboards. One of them was a vase. Thankfully it wasn’t the one that she nicked from one of the many kingdoms with Evelynn. That was seriously irreplaceable. 

She called after them to at least be careful but knowing the amount of space the manor had, there were really an infinite number of possibilities. 

Ahri spent the majority of her time with Evelynn going over where they could iron some details together before Ahri was expected to go back to handling paperwork. The gumiho was grateful because that meant more time with Evelynn as well.

“What about this?” 

Evelynn said as she turned over a design to Ahri as they chilled on the couch together. Ahri was wrapped around Evelynn like a second skin. It was much too cold and Evelynn was the perfect space heater that she needed while maknae shenanigans were in session. 

“How about if we pulled this hem-line a little higher?” Evelynn asked, as her pencil scratched against the paper. 

“Who’s abs are we trying to expose?”

“Mine, Kai’Sa’s and Akali?”

“Hmm. We could give BLADES and Deevas a heart attack if you do that. Add that in.”

Scribbling sounds were heard. 

“What about _our_ skirts?” Ahri asked, appraising the many rough drafts that Evelynn already had in mind. The lines of the pencil were dark and messy, the many palm and fingerprints told the gumiho that her friend had spent hours pouring over every detail.

She wasn’t called a diva for nothing. And she knew that she wouldn’t settle, if it can be made better, it will _be better._ Evelynn’s taste was sought out by designers, artists and singers alike.

She trusts her vision. 

“Nice and high.” Evelynn muttered as she made another mark. 

“Maybe some thigh-highs for you?” Ahri teased. 

“You read my mind my love.” Evelynn smirked, already penciling in how high the skirt length would go. It was almost scandalous but the two demonesses knew how to keep desire dripping from their fans. 

“Do you think Kai’Sa and Akali would like to wear skirts for a change?”

“I thought about it. But you know how our fans like to pair us up. Let’s talk about this with the girls later after their … whatever it is that they are doing.”

“Probably preparing to give us a headache.”

_CRASH!_

The two demonesses winced at the sound of yet another crash. Why did they have ridiculously good timing? And then they were on their feet, tails and lashers raised to give their maknae lines a piece of their fury. 

“That better not be _anywhere near my damn cars!_ ”

“That better not be a _nywhere near my damn plants_!”

  
  


//

After reprimanding the reformed maknae squad with a sharp tongue and a small smack to the wrist, everyone decided it was good to spend the day altogether. 

Within the day, Seraphine was a little shy but she melded well with K/DA. Ahri had expected that Kai’Sa and Akali would spend the most time doting on the little songstress. 

‘Little’ as in this girl was 148 cm and probably the same weight as a sack of flour. But her voice filled the room with the weight of an army. 

Anyways. 

The surprising candidate to help acclimate the songstress was Evelynn. 

She doted on her relentlessly for the whole day. Ahri could hear that Evelynn was trying to find out Seraphine’s likes and dislikes with her nonchalant questions while she and Kai’Sa prepared a late dinner. She can guess that Evelynn was planning to buy things related or to help the little songstress feel at home in Seoul.

Today was supposed to be a day for fun. In two more days the real prep-work for the MORE album will start. 

Bao nudged Ahri on the cheek, doing his version of a headbutt. His body stretched before settling against Ahri’s side, prepared for his afternoon nap. 

Her clawed finger tickled his chin, giggling at the rumbling noises that he made. Her eyes watched from her perch on the couch at the sight of her members blowing from their horns and popping confetti and comically spilling soju on the floor boards. 

Their smiles _now_ made her week of rest worth it. They’re all happy and she can be happy.

“We’re all going to be alright huh Bao-ah?”

The cat meowed and rested comfortably at her side. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**A day later...**

It was on Ahri’s last night of mandatory rest, that she found that Kai’Sa had a hidden weakness. 

Ahri noticed that Kai’sa’s eyes occasionally drift upward to her head. Certain moods and expressions would appear depending on the ears’ movement. 

When her ears flicked in excitement. And then there’s that silly smile that would appear. When her ears are dropped or pressed against her head, the dancer would have a concerned expression and would privately talk to Ahri if there was anything wrong. But when she noticed the dancer staring, Kai’sa catches herself, clears her throat and pretends that she didn’t just stare. 

She does it again out of curiosity. Would the dancer look?

Purple eyes drift upward again. 

Ahri giggled but said nothing.

Kai’Sa cocks her head to the side, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

Another twitch. 

Another not-so-subtle-drift to the top of her head. 

Another giggle.

It’s almost a fun little game. 

“I don’t get what’s so funny?”

Ahri reached over and held the dancer’s hand. 

“Your eyes keep moving toward my ears while my own eyes are right here.” 

A red hue covered the dancer’s cheek. She shyly smiles back at the gumiho, her fingers playing around Ahri’s. So _so squishy._

“Sorry...I’m not trying to objectify you like that…”

If Ahri’s heart can do somersaults, it would. It did enough to make her dizzy. Why was Kai’Sa so precious about her boundaries? 

Ahri could guess that because she, herself, struggled with boundaries all her life and quite literally throws herself in everything that she does; It made sense why Kai’Sa was so adamant about asking all the time. Ahri was in control of setting the pace of _whatever this feeling_ was between the two. 

“You’re not.” Ahri says gratefully. She discreetly sniffs the air. There was nothing but sincerity in her tone. “You can touch them if you’d like later.”

Kai’Sa’s smile was enough to split mountains. “Really?”

Oh, her heart can’t take this. She nodded her assent. 

“Spend the night with me?” Kai’Sa squeezing the hand in hers, “Small guilty pleasure.”

Ahri stood up to stretch and cupped Kai’Sa’s cheek, running a thumb down those slender cheekbones. “Alright, let me clean up then. ”

Ahri wanders off, presumably to bathe. 

A sly whistle came from her right. 

_Definitely_ loud enough for Ahri to hear.

“ _Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn_ Kai!”

Kai’Sa growled as the maknae approached from her hiding place, “Akali…how long were you standing there?”

The maknae in question smoothly avoided the question and went to the fridge to pour out two glasses of Calpico. 

“Not long. Long enough to hear some things.” When she saw purple eyes glaring at the sugary drinks in her hand, Akali gave her a sheepish smile, “Evelynn and I are having a movie night with Seraphine. Poor kid can’t sleep easily quite yet.”

“Put on a documentary? That would usually tire me out.”

“Yuppies! But ooof I might fall asleep first at this rate.”

Akali shivered at the thought of watching the History of King Sejong, but good company always helps. 

“SoooOOoooOooo you going to watch with us? Or spend an evening with the Queen?” 

Kai’Sa looked longingly at the direction that Ahri left and rubbed her neck trying to relieve herself of the tension that was building there.

“But she’s doing it for you because she likes you.” Akali said, patting Kai’Sa soundly on the back.

Then, the rogue leans down and whispers to her ear. 

“I’m warning you now. Be very _very_ gentle. Ahri cried the first time I did it. I don’t think anyone has really got a chance to pamper Ahri at this level and she _never_ shows it in public for a reason. She’ll be so vulnerable, so Kai’Sa please. She’s...she’s my unnie and you’re my unnie. Don’t break her heart please.” 

This was one of the rare times that Akali really did sound serious and protective. It would only happen in public when she sees rowdy fans or if the security guards were definitely acting suspiciously around the other K/DA members. 

Her eyes would flash as if something would click. Her lips curled into a snarl. Her hands flexed at her hip daring someone to cross the youngest member. 

The maknae was their safeguard. And it’s a title that she’s proud to show off. 

Even if it meant within the members. 

Kai’Sa nodded, unsure how to respond to such a declaration except with a question, “How do you know?”

“I was the youngest, I was always pampered. Even now.” She said while drinking from her cup. A subtle milk moustache was visible when she pulled her lips away and continued with her explanation.

“Irelia-nee-san always had to chase after me. You, Eevee and Ahri-unnie always were great in taking care of me. And since you know how to take care of me…”

A small beep interrupted her explanation. 

Akali's eyes looked relieved. She waved her phone at Kai’Sa’s face. It was a picture of Seraphine sleeping against Evelynn, who somehow managed to take an immaculate selfie. 

“Side note, kinda annoyed that whenever someone takes a picture of me I’m always drooling.” 

“Keep your gob closed then stupid.” Kai’Sa said wiping of the maknae’s silly milk moustache before flicking her nose. 

“Oh whateveeeeeer!”

Akali batted the hand away then had her easy going smile before leaving the kitchen with an off-hand comment. 

“As I was saying...I _know how_ to take care of my unnies.”

Akali’s head popped back from the doorway and whispered, “Oh yeah, small tip, only add pressure if she starts purring. And don’t be too loud and use protection!”

Kai’Sa has half a mind to shoot a laser at the maknae’s ass the next chance she gets. 

She cleans the table, tucks in the chairs in their rightful place. She takes a deep breath and prepares herself for just a _simple night_ of petting her leader’s ears.

Nothing to be worried about.

  
  


//

**Meanwhile…**

Ahri leaned back into the bath, her tail swishing languidly against the water. 

She turned over so her arms hung away from the tub as she fiddled with her phone.

**In a private message between an Ahri and Akali: Operation North Star**

  
  
  
  


**Ahri:** It’s a good idea right? A step in the right direction?

  
  
  


**Akali:** unnieeeeee what did I tell u? dun overthink it!

**Akali:** she won’t hurt you. 

  
  
  


**Ahri:** This is a lot. I haven’t...not since...you know...

  
  
  


**Akali:** i kno! its ok 👌 trust your instincts

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


She puts the phone away and sunk lower into the slowly cooling bathwater.

That was half the problem though. She wanted to trust her instincts. But her instincts were pulling here in two ways. 

One was to run away from Kai’Sa, her tails tucked low against her ankles. 

No one should have that much power, the primal part of her insisted. Her instincts wanted to make her hide or to assert her own dominance in retaliation. 

To hide away from that loving gaze meant that she hid the ugly parts of her soul away. The hot water did nothing to soothe those aches that came with being immortal. The passage of time helped some, but there were times where she forgets that this is 2020 and not the 1600s. The nightmares, when tehy did appear, were too hard to bear. 

Logically she knows that the dancer wasn’t that kind of person. She had met with the scum of the Earth, she dabbled in danger and she was sure that she was the reason for small turf wars here and there. But she was the object of desire. Only wanted for superficial means. Her fangs ached to bite back against her caring nature. 

On the other hand, her instinct also wanted to run straight into Kai’Sa. Straight into the loving embrace that she grew to crave like her daily tea. 

To let her carry some of the pieces that, at times, barely kept the gumiho together. 

Kai’Sa was right, she was awful at taking care of herself. Not in the way most humans now think about self care. Self care for her was something along the lines of the bare minimum.

She won’t take more than she needs. 

She wasn’t wired that way and in all her years of living, she regrets that she hasn’t worked out some of those centuries old habits. 

She doesn’t expect Kai’Sa to do all the work for her. She has to do this on her own. 

Kai’Sa just makes it easier for Ahri to let herself be a little bit more indulgent in her everyday life. 

That if she was hungry, she could ask for more food. That if she wanted to sleep longer, she could steal an extra hour or two. That if she wanted Kai’Sa’s undivided attention, she only needed to ask. 

Ahri nodded to herself as she soaked in the water a little longer. 

This time instead of Kai’Sa offering her time, Ahri made her move, and she intended to follow through.

She pauses her train of thought. 

She will open up, baby steps, Ahri thought a little ruefully. Ear pets hopefully will be enough to guide her into the right direction. 

After all, bad habits die hard.

  
  
  
  


//

Later that evening...

  
  


Ahri’s ears flicked against the incoming heat. She willed herself to not wince. She was leaning against Kai’Sa in the dancer’s bedroom. The dancer was leaning against the headboard while Ahri was leaning against her. 

An arm was wrapped around Ahri’s waist, while the other hand toyed with the blonde locks, letting the strands glide in between her finger tips. 

The TV was playing some K-Drama that Kai’Sa insisted was good to miss. Thankfully it wasn’t a romance comedy. It was a corruption drama. Those big chaebols and their deep _deep_ pockets. It was riveting. So riveting. 

She'd almost forgotten about her promise to the dancer that she tensed slightly at the incoming heat. 

Kai’Sa’s breath hitched. 

_‘Okay, okay. Slower. We gotta go slower.’_

The cannons on her shoulder chirped in approval, almost somehow expecting something to happen soon. 

“Cannons are quite restless are they?” Ahri whispered. 

“I think they’re just giving me a hard time.” Kai’Sa replied easily, shushing her cannons. 

Ahri hummed, settling back into the warmth. 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Kai’Sa wouldn’t hurt her. Not today. 

She let her ears droop a little as a subtle sign that she was relaxed enough to be touched. 

Ahri could’ve sworn she heard a whispered,”You can do this Kai’Sa!”

A dork. An absolute dork.

Her lips curled in a smile when a finger dragged slowly from the tips to the base. It wasn’t slow to be sensual or teasing. It was quite curious and a little unsure. It even tickled. 

Ahri let her ears swivel back and forth to get used to the sensation. Her own claws scratching lightly on Kai’Sa’s thigh, like kneading her own nerves. But she smoothed her palm over the unintentional scratches in apology. 

The lone finger repeated the motion.

Again. 

And again. 

And again. 

More pressure was added and Ahri was gone. 

While her ears were getting a run down, the rest of Ahri slumped. Her eyes rolled back in bliss, the purrs full, deep and loud. 

“ _Kai’Sa._ ” Ahri all but moaned. 

Kai’Sa blushed but kept her motions. She used her other hand to run her fingers through blonde locks, scratching lightly against the gumiho’s scalp. 

From her position with Ahri drooped against her front, this was intimate.

Definitely more than Kai’Sa had ever done with any exes. Even superficial dating never made her feel this way. 

Nothing like this. 

Not when her heart felt so complete and the person who held her affections was right here in her arms. 

Now that she was paying more attention, she can see why Evelynn and Akali rolled their eyes often at their interactions. 

It was blatantly obvious. 

The handholds, the hand kisses, the forehead presses. 

Now it was sleeping together, trading clothes, and ear pets. 

Kai’Sa wondered if she made Ahri wait so long?

_‘But was this enough?’_

Did she need to do more?

She shook her head. 

This _was_ something more. This moment was merely a taste and she wanted more. But it was still much too soon. It was much too soon to ask something from Ahri. 

The dancer was brought out of her reverie when Ahri’s hand clumsily lifted up and urged Kai’Sa to press a little harder on the base of her left ear. 

“You’re overthinking.” Ahri said, her voice slightly deeper from all the escaped purrs. “Is something wrong?”

Kai’Sa shook her head, “Just want to make sure I’m not hurting you.”

A half-lie. But Ahri didn’t seem to be aware of it. 

If Ahri could slump harder, she would. Her nine tails no longer crystallized and were flapping against the sheets.

After some time, Kai’Sa ceased her motions. Ahri was dazed and looked up at Kai’Sa with a lopsided grin. Kai’Sa leaned forward so their foreheads, yet again, were pressed together. Purple watched as Ahri’s eyes fluttered closed in bliss. 

“That was perfect.” Ahri said after the last of her purrs ceased. 

“Anytime baby.”

Another pause.

“I like it when you call me that.” Ahri whispered, rubbing her nose against Kai’Sa’s as best as she could from her position.

There was no need to move, it was the feeling of the gumiho so close. It made the tips of her toes tingle and her heart pound. 

God. She was beautiful. Kai’Sa couldn’t help but giggle. 

Amber eyes locked on purple ones. 

“What about you? Would you like for me to do you a favor?”

Something appeared in Kai’Sa’s expression. It was filled with sadness and guilt. 

“What’s wrong?”

Her breath tickled Kai’Sa’s lip. If Kai’Sa had moved an inch, their lips would just _brush_. 

The cannons chirped behind to take it. To take those inviting, soft lips. 

She won’t.

She won’t.

Not like this.

She was better than that. 

Ahri deserves better than that.

Sensing the shift in mood, Ahri quickly sat up, spun around and promptly straddled the dancers outstretched legs. Instantly Kai’Sa’s hands went to her waist to steady her position. Ahri’s amber eyes were twinkling in the dark room, her nine tails flared out behind her so that she looked powerful, dangerously in control. 

Yet, she was still so beautiful. 

Ahri smiled at the sight of Kai’Sa’s awed look. It’s what she loved about her. Dear Kai’Sa was appreciative at everything, _anything_. 

The dancer slightly tightened her grip on Ahri’s clothed hip. She’d hope that her hold was comforting and that the gumiho she was holding would take her seriously. 

“I don’t want to make it feel as if you owe me something.” She whispered, almost ashamed. She ducked her head away from Ahri’s penetrating gaze. Until Ahri tipped Kai’Sa’s chin so that she couldn’t hide.

“I want you to touch me because I _want_ to.” Ahri said as she brushed away a loose strand from obscuring the dancer’s face. “I won’t take more than what you freely give me.”

Kai’Sa closed her eyes, mulling over her words while her face was still held in the gumiho’s hands. She held Ahri a little tightly to ground her in this moment. The air around them was hazy, warm and comfortable. She would have to be blind to not let this moment pass. 

Her heart pounded, the blood rushing to her ears. 

“Only if I ask?”

“I swear it.” Ahri whispered, taking on the free hands on her wait and pressing a kiss to the back of it. 

She lets the hand return to her waist. 

“Would you trust me with your heart?”

The words slipped out before she could stop them. She gulped as the silence stretched. Her fingers started to curl tightly at Ahri’s waist. Her breathing started to get shaky. 

Another airy whisper. 

“Yes.”

Kai’Sa exhaled sharply, finally letting out the breath that she didn’t know she held. But before she could move, she moved her hands that were on Ahri’s waist and moved them to cup her cheeks. Her thumbs rubbing against the whiskers. 

She could feel the puffs of Ahri’s breath against her lips. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Please...”

Kai’Sa leaned up and gently pressed her lips against the gumiho. 

The dancer moaned softly at the feeling of soft pillowy lips at the first press. Ahri tasted like grapefruits. She was sweet with a subtly sharp tang. 

It was soft, experimental. 

She could feel Ahri’s hesitation before moving her own hands to hold Kai’Sa’s face. Her fingers sliding to grip the slender jawline. Thumbs tracing the strong cheekbones, while her fingers grazed Kai’Sa’s piercings on her ears. The dancer hummed but her lips stayed still, waiting for Ahri. 

Kai’Sa was moments away from pulling away, before lithe arms moved to curl around her nape, into her hair, tickling the sensitive skin slightly. Ahri’s lips pressed lightly against her own, the gumiho’s slender fingers in her hair subtly tugging at her roots; nervous yet yearning for a little more. 

Heeding the subtle tugs on the back of her head, Kai’Sa guided her by using her lips to nibble on Ahri’s bottom lip, coaxing the gumiho to let her take the lead. To trust her motions, to trust that she will be taken care of. 

The sound of small whimpers of pleasure escaped with each pass as their lips slid languidly together. 

Breathing in each other’s breath. 

It was slow and sensual but most of all it was tender. 

Achingly tender. 

Kai’Sa’s left hand slipped to hold Ahri’s waist while the other ran through blonde locks, fingers pressing against the sensitive skin of her lower neck, guiding Ahri to her rhythm. She made the move after all, she wanted to savor this. 

When their lungs burned, their lips separated with a small pop. 

Eyes fluttered open. The pair panted slightly. 

Kai’Sa leaned forward so that her forehead pressed against Ahri’s, not waiting to leave that closeness just yet. She could feel a wetness dripping on her cheeks. Kai’Sa wiped them dry and planted butterfly kisses on her eyelids.

Ahri tugged Kai’Sa closer to press their lips together again, this time with the taste of tears. Kai’Sa felt the waves of emotion with each delicate press, the word “안전한…” filling the air. 

It was as if all the dots connected and Kai’Sa’s brain finally deciphered the meaning of such a word. 

“I’ll keep your heart safe baby. You’re safe with me.”

  
  
  


//

  
  


_“...and in the year 1450, King Sejong had passed away from complications due to his diabetes. He was succeeded by…”_

Evelynn drummed her fingers against her thigh. It had been some time since Akali had returned to her bedroom with two glasses of Calpico with one already drained clean. 

They were watching a documentary to help educate Seraphine on Korean culture which Evelynn had no intention of fully listening into. 

She was a _far_ better storyteller than the monotone voice that she knew was reading from a placard. 

Amateurs. And there was definitely more to the story! She would know, she lived through it. 

When the scene changed to a natural cut, Evelynn lifted her arms back for that full body stretch that showed all her curves and took a deep breath. 

After a satisfying pop, her nose wrinkled at a near offending scent. She groaned, wanting to shove her nose into the satin sheets. 

_‘Oh my god, their lovey-dovey pheromones are bleeding into my room.’_

The mixed scent of grapefruit and peaches was almost enough to make her own fangs ache. She wasn’t surprised at the lack of arousal in the air. 

They were sharing a tender moment. 

At the thought of her oldest friend _finally_ getting some much needed love, she let her earlier annoyance slide. 

After all, she was sure she and Akali have been quite cruel to Ahri’s nose in the past several weeks. What can she say, as a succubus, she had a lot of repressed stress that was in need of a _release._

She chuckled, which prompted the two younger girls to turn at her direction. 

The succubus could now feel a little bit ashamed. She could only imagine what the scent would be like if they sh-

“What’s wrong Eevee?”

A click of her tongue, her tone semi-displeased but otherwise smug. “Your unnie-deul are having some...fun. It smells like Kai’Sa made the first move.”

Seraphine whooped, suddenly away and jumping on the Alaskan sized mattress. 

“I totally called it! You all owe me 50000 won!”

Akali and Evelynn grumped before opening up their phone apps and transferring some money to Seraphine’s bank. 

  
  


//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanons #37
> 
> Nightmare edition: Who do they go to for comfort? Outside of their significant others?
> 
> \- Akali goes to Ahri. They share similar experiences of meeting certain expectations. Ahri and Akali spend the evening talking it out before knocking out. 
> 
> \- Evelynn goes to Kai’Sa. Naturally Kai’Sa is great at comforting. No words really need to be exchanged, just a nice long hug and some warm tea. 
> 
> \- Kai’Sa goes to Akali. Because Akali makes her laugh even if the tremors get so bad. Akali somehow makes it feel all better. 
> 
> \- Ahri goes to Evelynn. It’s usually over the pain of being immortal and the lives they lived and what other pathways they could’ve taken. 
> 
> Asscanons #38  
> Coffee Edition: How does K/DA take their coffee?
> 
> \- Evelynn likes her black. 
> 
> \- Ahri likes her mostly bitter - but not black. Think dark brown. 
> 
> \- Kai’Sa likes her a little bitter but not too sweet. She likes milk over half and half. 
> 
> \- Akali her coffee’s looking like a vanilla milkshake. All the creamer that can possibly fit in a tumbler. 
> 
> Asscanon #39  
> Ahri and Akali Shenanigans
> 
> Akali holds Ahri’s hand when they’re walking through the airport or malls when it’s just the two of them.  
> They also buy a lot of random shit and try to sneakily add it to their living space. Kai’Sa is the resident budget queen.  
> They are the reasons why Kai’Sa’s blood pressure spikes when the dancer finds a new added edition to their living rooms.
> 
> “Akali...Ahri...why is there a giant gaudy statue in the living room?”
> 
> “It fits the asss-thetic!” said Akali.
> 
> “You know they did have these back in Rome. It fits the other ones that I ‘commissioned’.”
> 
> “You mean ‘steal’ Ahri. Either way I don’t want to see a dick in my face…” Kai’Sa groaned.
> 
> “My dear, I have many more in the basement downstairs!~” Evelynn said.
> 
> “Are they the missing male celebrities?” The dancer asked.
> 
> “Wanna come downstairs to find out dear?”
> 
> “Noooo thanks…”
> 
> H-hello? You okay? Did the feels get you? Tell me tell me tell me tell me :3 teehee


	12. Black Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahri makes a crepe. Evelynn has some questions. Kai’Sa and Akali share a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the Chapter: Who Are You - Fifth Harmony  
> If the plot seems scattered-brain, it’s intentional :) you’ll see what I mean.
> 
> Remember my Ahri's is more canonically Korean, so as a leader she has a softer, quieter personality unless the playful side is brought out by her bandmates.
> 
> Thank you so much for to @melody7321 for editing this for me :) 
> 
> //TC: for topics of alcoholism

  
  


Scratch.

Scratch.

The sound of a pen gliding across the paper in rhythmic strokes. 

The only sound that filled the morning air was the sound of paperwork.

Ahri looked up across the office space to see that while she was in her week hiatus and was relatively unconscious for the majority of it, Evelynn had added her own desk in her office as well, along with a computer monitor and her own calendar pinned right next to her own.

She rolled her eyes, but then her lips were curled into a smile.

Evelynn was really all that serious about helping her out with K/DA’s management. A better way to help was to actually be in the same room.

A little part of her lamented at the idea that her little personal workspace was no longer hers, but if this was a way she can stay accountable, she can accept the conditions.

Thankfully, Evelynn still kept to her side of the room and would only walk (more like saunter) over to Ahri just to double check some of the finer details. 

Those nine stacks of paper that Ahri had kept to herself quickly dwindled to six by the first three hours. At the three hour mark, Evelynn clicked her tongue, causing ears to perk up at the sound. 

“Yes?”

“Food time. Go help Kai’Sa in the kitchen.”

At the thought of helping Kai’Sa, Ahri stood up so quickly that she knocked her knees on the desk.

“Down love. Kai’Sa isn’t going anywhere.” Evelynn teased. She stacked her papers neatly and placed them neatly on the side.

“I’m going to grab Akali and Seraphine; they’re probably having a quick music jam session right now at the other side of the house.”

She said it nonchalantly, but Ahri could feel that there was a hidden message in between her words.

Ahri could steal a moment or two before lunch. 

“Okay, thank you for helping me.”

A small kiss on the scarred cheek.

“Of course my love.”

  
  


//

  
  


Kai’Sa was already in the kitchen with an apron on. Her hair was tied in a higher than usual ponytail. 

Ahri knocked on the doorway and smiled shyly when the dancer turned around.

“Annyeong!~”

“Hey baby~”

Kai’Sa tugged her by the wrist, pulling her closer to the sink so that they could work on lunch together.

Making breakfast might have been a little too early for Ahri to wake up, so the conditions had been altered so that Ahri would be helpful during lunch and dinner prep.

“How’s the new schedule working out for you?” The dancer asked as the two of them peeled and chopped onions. 

Ahri tensed slightly and her claws drummed against the counter. 

“It’s weird. Very weird.”

Purple eyes weren’t judgemental but patient. She wanted to know what the gumiho was thinking. Last night didn’t change the fact that Ahri needed to be better about taking care of herself. The kiss was great but it wasn’t supposed to be a bandaid for all of the pent of stress.

“I-I miss my space. I like my locked door.” The gumiho admitted.

It made her frown a little. She still felt off. She felt like she wasn’t getting enough done. Logically, she was though. The stacks of paper were disappearing faster than she anticipated, but why was there still this restlessness?

She had to close her eyes.

Mental notes.

When was the last time she checked her mental notes?

Today was Monday.

Last she had thoughts of work was...last Monday. Or was that last Wednesday?

She remembered her notes. But then things got hazy in between. 

What was the last thing she finished?

Oh…

She didn’t finish anything. 

She didn’t have her notes ready for FOXY.

She didn’t have an idea for the winter collection for Charmed. 

She didn’t-

Her breathing started to get a little shaky. Her chest felt cold and hollow.

“Ahri, baby can you hear me?”

Amber eyes blinked open. 

She’s in the kitchen, a knife in her right hand, and an undiced onion in another. 

“D-did I space out?”

Kai’Sa pursed her lips. Her hand was on Ahri’s shoulder, grounding her. Ahri quickly placed the knife down and grasped the dancer’s hand, trying to keep the beads of sweat that she knew was building in her lower back from being noticeable under Kai’Sa’s touch.

“Did you not sleep last night? I could’ve sworn that you fell asleep first before I did.”

Her heart throbbed with affection. Kai’Sa made sure she slept first before herself?

She hadn’t noticed. What did she do in her years of living to deserve this?

Despite the ache she suddenly felt in her chest, Ahri had a dopey smile, “The best I’ve ever had, I’m …”

Should she be honest?

She should be right?

Kai’Sa is her…

No wait.

They’re not... _anything._

They just kissed.

Nothing more.

That’s not right. 

Oh god, she thinks, her heart is breaking. 

She fought the ache in her chest and cleared her throat. 

“It’s probably because I’ve never had anyone boss me around so much.” She said in a teasing voice while discreetly facing away from Kai’Sa. 

She was sure that her tone was normal for her usual teasing self, but her amber eyes were dull based on the reflection in the mirror. She kept her eyes down in case Kai’Sa was trying to look as well. 

Fuck. 

She was already fucking it up. 

She stands up despite her shaky legs and walks to the stove, tying her hair up in a loose updo.

“So, what did you want me to do with these onions?”

She looks down to tie the ends of the spare apron to her front and when she looks up, Kai’Sa gives her a loving smile.

Ahri stood still as Kai’Sa slowly dipped her head and kissed Ahri lightly on the side of the lip.

“Is that okay?”

Ahri sighed happily before giving a proper kiss. 

“ _That_ is much better.”

The gumiho’s earlier anxiety left her. At least for now.

“I’m already proud of the progress you made today. I want you to know that.”

Ahri reached over and gave a quick kiss to the back of her hand as soon as she heard the sound of padding footsteps coming closer to the kitchen. 

“FEED THE MAKNAES!” 

//

  
  
  


“Wow Kai’Sa! You really went _all-out_!”

Ahri then claps and stands up shocking everyone.

“THAT’S IT! THAT’S THE NAME OF THE ALBUM!”

She spins to hightail it to her office but is slowed by a lasher on her wrist. The succubus offers a pen to Ahri and a napkin. 

“Write it here and then let’s eat.” Evelynn said with fond exasperation. “It can wait till after lunch.”

Ahri pouts, but does what she’s told. She sits back down next to Seraphine, who giggled.

“Found a spark?”

Ahri eyed the dancer, who was starting to plate their meals in front of them. Kai’Sa was too busy pinching Akali’s cheek to notice the gumiho’s warm gaze. She gives a wide smile back to Seraphine, “Something like that.”

  
  
  


//

  
  


However, the gnawing in her chest didn’t cease even after Ahri returned to her office. She saw that Evelynn had returned as well and was about to start on the next round of paperwork.

She looked at her pile and then looked at Evelynn’s. There were still some stacks of paper, but it looked like the succubus was already moving on to other parts of her work. 

They had more or less the same work but she wanted to do more. Singular tasks were hard for Ahri to focus on. She was just so used to multitasking. 

Maybe some music might help.

“Can I play some music Evelynn...my…”

Her head rattled inside its bony cage, looking for an inconspicuous excuse. 

_‘My head is playing games with me…’_

“...it’s too quiet.” She finished lamely, ears folding back against her hair. 

Evelynn appraised her friend and used her free hand to turn on the Melon App to play some soft Korean lofi beats. 

Ahri’s head bobbed with the music and the rattling in her head stopped momentarily. Her eyes refocused on the tasks in front of her. She looked at the modified calendar and saw that more things were crossed off. 

“Evelynn…”

“Yes love?”

“I’m done with my list...are there more things to be done?”

_Please give me more to do! I can hear my head banging...I can hear it… I can hear it._

Evelynn stood up and strode to Ahri’s side of the desk.

“No. We are done for the day. It’s 6:00 P.M, we made a promise.”

“But I-”

“We are pacing ourselves.” Evelynn said sternly with no room for a rebuttal. “Today is paperwork. Tomorrow is dance practice. Wednesday is a day in the studio. And Thursday is vocal lessons with Seraphine. We agreed on this, did we not?”

A little chastised, Ahri’s ears went flat.

Golden eyes softened at the sight of her friend’s dour expression. 

“It’s an adjustment...I’m trying too. We’re doing it for the girls we love.”

Ahri flushed.

“Okay...I’ll try. For them, for you, I’ll try.”

  
  


//

  
  


She tries…

She does…

The rest of Monday went off alright.

On Tuesday they fumbled a bit with dance practice. Thankfully, her missteps were overshadowed by Seraphine’s apparent two left feet. It was only after Ahri and Seraphine bumped for the umpth time that Kai’Sa clapped her hands to stop the practice. 

“Seraphine honey, let’s try to take this step by step.” 

Seraphine wasn’t a dancer by any means. Kai’Sa had to laugh. It was like a softer version of Akali. They were going to start a little small when it came to working her into dancing material.

By the fifth hour, they more or less got the dance sorted, with Evelynn foregoing her dance shoes for some heels to practice and Akali practicing her stage swag. 

Ahri spent the majority of her free time during the brief rests crouched on the floor, her hands braced against her knees as she watched her bandmates do some practice covers from other notable idols. 

She let Akali and Seraphine take her phone their official Instagram account was on Ahri’s phone. It was fun and silly but their fans ate it up as they posted some snippets on Instagram.

The two maknaes chattered away as they greeted their viewers while Ahri kept her position on the floor. 

“Ahri is being a boomer!” Akali sassed as she pointed the phone toward her leader, making the gumiho bare her fangs playfully. 

“Respect your elders, ungrateful maknae!”

“OOoOooOoH, soOoooO scary!”

“Akali...leave your Ahri-unnie alone...” Kai’Sa chided, coming up from behind Akali and giving her a small hug. “Hello Blades! It’s K/DA’s Kai’Sa! Today’s dance cover is...”

Ahri was grateful for the diversion because her head went fuzzy. It was a lot like white noise in television but just subtly. She could hear the sounds of their shoes squeaking against the floor, she could smell the mixed scent of sweat and perfumes and lotion. She kept her eyes trained on the floor so she could keep herself grounded. 

Ahri finally moved from her crouched position to sit fully on the floor with a sigh. She stretched her legs out and tried to keep her mental. 

She remembers the breathing techniques that she learnt in Tibet (and what Kai’Sa had taught her when they were alone).

Count in 2/4.

Hold her breath for two counts. And exhale for two. 

Inhale.

_‘One.’_

_‘Two.’_

Exhale.

_‘One,’_

_‘Two.’_

It helped some. 

She looks up to see that Kai’Sa was smiling down on her. The fatigue she felt was melting away. 

A small reprieve. 

“Feeling good?”

“I wasn’t at first, but now I am.” She said as she sneakily stole a hand kiss. 

  
  


//

  
  
  


Wednesday is a day in the studio. By Wednesday, her head was howling at her. 

Like the sound of bells in a cathedral during Sunday mass. She cursed into the morning, rolling over to cover her head with a blanket. She stuffed the silk material into her vulpine ears to ward off the noise of _everything._ How did Evelynn and Seraphine tolerate such loud chimes during Sunday service?

A small kiss was placed on her bare shoulder. Her skin felt hot, sweat beading down her back. The feeling of cool lips did little to soothe the pressure that she felt at the base of her temple.

“Hey baby…are you feeling okay?”

Another kiss, this time on her nape. 

The gumiho shivered.

“My head hurts.” Ahri whined, burying her face into her pillows. 

It wasn’t just her head. 

But she couldn’t describe the complete sensation if she tried. 

“Do you want to stay in?” Kai’Sa asked, a hand running up and down her back. 

“No I have...I have to be there. We’re running adlibs today.” Ahri said sitting up, letting the sheets pool at her waist. “I already had to tell Evelynn that we had to delay the studio time because of the pandemic and the deep cleans that were needed.”

She pressed her palms against her eyes, hoping the cool hands were enough to abate the pain. Ahri had to think of counter measures if she really did choose to go about her day. 

She had her ear dampeners and sunglasses. Headache pills did nothing for her. 

But Ahri knew the delays would only make things more difficult. They had taken extra precautions and the only people allowed was K/DA and they were more or less self produced and self employed. 

She would have to tough it out. 

At her best, she can get her adlibs down in about an hour. But there’s no telling how she would do.

Kai’Sa pressed her hand against Ahri’s cheek, rubbing the scarred cheek.

“It can wait.”

“You have to go to the dance studio with Sera-yah and Sok-ssi in a couple of hours.” Ahri sighed, letting out a little rumble of satisfaction at the heat of Kai’Sa’s palm. 

“It’s not that important.” Kai’Sa said, pinching Ahri’s cheek lightly. 

Ahri whined, feeling the pain reach to the tip of her ears. 

Why the fuck was everything so painful today?

“Sensitive. Everything is really sensitive Kai’Sa.”

Another kiss to her temple. 

“Sorry…” Kai’Sa moved so that she knelt on the floor, her arms resting on Ahri’s bare thighs. “Just take it easy okay?”

“Evelynn’s making sure that I eat and stuff, and I’ve been listening.” Ahri said quietly, her head feeling heavy. “I’m really trying not to get sick again.”

“I know you’re not. Baby steps?”

“Baby steps.” Ahri agreed. 

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before standing and going about their own morning routines. 

  
  
  


//

While she was in the car with Evelyn and Akali, Ahri felt the ringing in her ears roll in waves. She had an ironclad grip on the arm rest and her eyes closed in an attempt to limit how many senses were activated at the same time. 

Against her better judgement, her hearing was preferable. She would get dizzy if she kept her eyes open, even if the succubus had been driving smoothly. 

She tried to focus on the sounds of the car. 

But every time Akali giggled at something on their phones, the gumiho would lose concentration on her grounding point and the sharp pitched pain returned. 

“One...Two…”

She breathes. 

“One...Two…”

Evelynn and Akali were saying something. She couldn’t follow the dialogue. Her singular thought was thinking about her adlibs. 

There wasn’t much, but with her vulpine hearing, Akali said it would be a good thing for her to tag along to see what was missing from the track.

If there needed more bridging or if there was room for more harmonizing. 

Seraphine had already notified them that making lyrics for her own portion of the song was proving to be difficult. It worried the leader a little bit. That meant the deadlines to have the song ready for Yasuo was getting closer. 

Her thoughts were racing - she could feel it. 

She needed to make it through this day. 

She has to. 

  
  


//

“Alright Unnie, go do your warm-ups first while I get the tracks ready.”

Ahri cocked her head to the side and looked to Evelynn. “Wouldn't it be best if Evelynn went first?”

“We are the most fluent in Korean, so I expect this to be the more difficult part for the whole song. The rest should be pretty easy.”

Akali’s eyes were filled with amuse as she looked at her succubus, “Sorry Eevee~”

“You _love_ my French more.” The succubus purred in reply.

“Damn right I do. Anywayyyys~ since your-sweet-soft-airy tones melds better with my rap lyrics, it’ll be best.” Akali said as she spun around in the chair. Evelynn chuckled and used one of her lashers to stop the rogue in mid-spin. 

“Your knees will destroy thousands of dollars. Thousands of _my_ dollars mind you.”

“It’s _won_ not dollars.” The maknae sassed, as she gave a cheeky grin. Evelynn quirked a fine brow, looking over the rim of her sunglasses. The rapper gulped and placed her feet firmly on the floor. 

Thirty minutes had passed as the Akalynn couple watched Ahri go through her multiple scales. Watching Ahri sing was truly a treat. The gumiho might be dressed down in her comfy clothes, but she held the music sheet like it was a relic. Her lips pouted in concentration as she made test runs.

When the gumiho gave the signal, Akali cracked her knuckles and did a small little wave as she pressed the red button that connected the intercom between the rooms. 

“Ready?”

The back track starts to play. 

//

**_Na na na na na na na na na na~!_ **

**_Go get it, go get it, go get it, the mission_ **

**_눈을못떼 모두 그래 너도 그래_ **

**_Cause I got it different!_ **

**_//_ **

Ahri pressed the key that connected their rooms.

“How’s that?”

“Try that again, but go higher at the end of the verse.” Evelynn’s voice rang out. “Make use of your higher register Foxy.”

Akali nodded her head in agreement while she took some notes, her forehead etched in concentration. Ahri smiled despite the throb in her temples, she loved seeing her favourite maknae work hard at what she loves. A producer in the making under Yasuo’s guidance. 

“Alright! Let’s run it again!”

  
  


//

  
  


**An hour or two later…**

  
  


“Perfect!” 

Ahri rolled her finger in the air to hear the playback.

As she heard it back, she cracked a grin. 

It sounded amazing. 

“Alright, let me add Evelynn’s bit here and then…”

There were clacking noises as the tracks were rearranged to add Evelynn and Ahri’s voices together. 

“Alright! Unnie, come here and let’s listen to this together!

//

  
  
  


**_Ahri_ **

**_Evelynn_ **

Kai’Sa

Seraphine

**Verse 1:**

**_Na na na na na na na na na na~!_ **

I'm givin' you more 'cause **_I'm greater than_**

필요없는 시험들, **답은 이미**

But all of my numbers are **_talkin', babe_**

블루마블 **Mrs. 모노폴리** (oh-ooh)

너는 – 종이 돈이 나는 real money (hey)

필요 없대 너네들이 많은 돈들

**Go get it, go get it, go get it, the mission**

**눈을못떼 모두 그래 너도 그래**

' **Cause I got it different~!** **  
** **  
  
**

**_Pre-Chorus:_ **

  
  
  


All I'll ever know is life up on a throne

**시 작 하 면 끝을 보는 거야**

You want...

**More!**

**_Chorus:_ **

Know I got it, so here you go (let's go)

You look like you could use some more (more)

Know I got it and **never runnin' low** **(low)**

Yeah, I got more than enough, add it up and away (ayy, ayy)

You know I got it like **bomb-bomb, blow your mind**

**Never givin' less** and that's how it'll stay (ayy, ayy)

You know I got it like all day, all the time!

//

“Sounds amazing!”

Thankfully with the quick success, the recording was finished in record time. 

//

However, it was on a Thursday that her head wanted to be up in the clouds. 

She was in the music room with Seraphine to help guide her along with the lyrics for her solo. She underestimated how long it took to write lyrics. Afterall it had been some time since she wrote her own. 

Having Akali, Kai’Sa and Evelynn around made the process so easy. But having to do it all on your own, she didn’t miss that part of her career. 

Instead, she was patient. 

Seraphine was skittish and a little star-struck of spending a day with one of her biases. The songstress fiddled with her guitar as she tuned it to the standard. 

The gumiho herself was at the black grand piano. 

Learning the piano wasn’t easy. Frankly, she was one of the worst students. Since time was on her side, all she needed to do was charm her maesters to instruct her for hours upon hours. 

While she never performed for kings and queens, she did accumulate enough wealth to procure her own. When she reunited with Evelynn, the pair of them spent time learning how to sing. Adding more to their charismatic personality and life-skills. 

The two of them were irresistible. 

But even then, having the power in her hands to play music was something that settled her soul.

In all her melancholy, she played to her heart’s content.

Guitar was the next instrument she learned. It went more or less the same, but the posture was what she struggled with. 

She remembered glaring at her guitar quite often when her fingertips were ached and had cuts on them. The piano had definitely given her less pain, except in her lower spine when she was forced to sit straight. 

But it had its own charm, carrying it around just to play for small crowds. 

She smiled at the memory. 

Amber eyes appraised her younger companion. Shy, nervous, and unsure. 

Seraphine had openly said that she’d been struggling with her emotions with such high expectations. It was a pity that as the modern world became more anonymous, it was quite easy to pick on soft souls. 

Ahri’s heart had hardened over time, but Seraphine had no such luxury. Personal passions cpi;d dwindle, but she could hear the younger woman’s resolve. 

She heard it in the soft strums from Seraphine’s bedroom across the hall. 

She heard it when there were frustrated sighs and sounds of crumpling paper.

She heard it when the younger girl ranted to Bao. 

Seraphine loved singin, and the gumiho was more than happy in cultivating her talent to elevated heights. Afterall, the gumiho knew what it felt like to be given a chance. 

A new chance of life. 

A new chance of friendship. 

A new chance with family, here with K/DA.

She was thankful to Evelynn for finding someone that could reignite the spark she felt on the inside. 

It really was like looking in the mirror. 

“Ahri-unnie?”

She replies easily with practiced charm, “Mmm?”

“You stopped your scales… is everything okay?”

“I just had a spark to add to something in my other lines.”

The expression that Seraphine saw in the gumiho’s face was nothing short of “sisterly”. It was an adoring smile, with Ahri playing a small trill playfully. When indeed, she _did not_ have a spark. She was doing what Kai’Sa had told her multiple times. 

Breathe.

Enjoy the moment.

At the thought of the dancer, Ahri’s mind had snapped to attention.

Kai’Sa!

She had to think of Kai’Sa too!

_‘Oh…’_

Ahri’s ears drooped.

They didn’t even have a proper date.

She was doing this all wrong. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

She wasn’t supposed to indulge. 

_‘Focus Ahri, this isn’t the time to think about it.’_

She checked the state of their music room. 

She remembered that the piano was a semitone off and that it would take a handyman to tune it. She would have to call.

_Another mental note._

She remembered that Seraphine had yet to change the strings of her guitar - strings didn’t come cheap. She remembered that there was a particular brand that was perfect for getting a more silvery tone that would fit best with Seraphine’s vocals in the music room. 

_Another mental note._

She also remembered that the dance floor needed a quick rub down with more wax, otherwise it would cost K/DA a pretty penny just to have them refurbished.

_Another mental note._

They had to do a fitting soon. 

_Another mental note._

They needed to prepare for a diet. She would have to remember to talk to Kai’Sa about adjusting their food intake to prevent bloating and lethargy. She hated that part of it but that was something to consider. 

_Another mental note._

And she remembered that all of them had to go back into regularly working out. 

There was a lot, but where was the time she needed to do it?

She had to think about the youngest member. Seraphine was an indie artist - not a pop/star. She wasn’t entirely groomed for this just yet. There was also no telling if Seraphine would continue with singing after their collaboration. 

She should schedule a meeting with Seraphine. 

_Another mental note._

“Maybe we should take a break? Ahri-unnie you look a little pale…”

Ahri waved her hand over her face, “I probably need to eat again. But before I do, let me hear what you have right now…”

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


Before she knew it, she was back in the kitchen with Kai’Sa.

Amber eyes blinked in confusion.

Where had the time gone?

Her eyes drifted to one of the digital clocks on the counter.

**6:45 P.M**

_‘Where had the day gone?’_

Her hands were on auto pilot. It was like watching herself from a couch from within her mind. 

It was strange.

_‘Was this normal?’_

The churning in her stomach made her nauseous. 

Why was she feeling so nauseous?

“Hey baby, how do you feel about tteok-bokki for dinner?”

“Sounds great.” She said quietly. Her smile felt pained, but she gave Kai’Sa a kiss on the cheek. 

Turns out, by the end of dinner, she could barely stomach three bites. And it was the first time that Ahri caught a look in Kai’Sa’s eyes that was outside of affection and care.

It was an expression of _disappointment._

  
  


_//_

  
  


They went to bed together.

But for once, Kai’Sa didn’t roll over and cover Ahri in an embrace.

Ahri woke up shivering, despite being bundled up in a purple sweater. 

And it continued. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. 

Cold. 

Empty. 

Unwanted. 

//

A new week began.

Ahri had half the mind of running to her room instead in retaliation. But if she was going to be honest, she needed Kai’Sa more than she thinks. But as she promised, she’ll never do more than what Kai’Sa offered. 

Kai’Sa hadn’t opened her arms for her to dive in. The thought makes her tails and ears droop. When they slept side by side, Ahri kept her distance. 

Kai’Sa deserves the choice to pull the gumiho closer. 

The one time she asks, Kai’Sa did open her arms. But the touch felt cool. It wasn’t an all encompassing warmth. It was cool, like a douse of cold water in the middle of winter. 

“Kai-Kai? Are you having a nightmare?”

“Hm. No.” Kai’Sa said drowsily. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Why are you scared?”

“I’m not scared.”

It was the first time Ahri could hear the defensiveness in her tone.

“I can smell it. Your fear.” 

Ahri nosed her collarbone, her ears could hear the slowly increasing heartbeat. This was very strange. Kai’Sa’s heartbeat is normally low and slow and it would only escalate if she was having a nightmare or if she had her own anxious thoughts. 

But the dancer hadn’t had a stint in quite some time. 

Kai’Sa then unwrapped her arms and sat up sharply, causing the gumiho to fall back with a thump. 

Alarmed at the reaction, Ahri sat up and took her hand, “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. I...I can help.”

Kai’Sa’s eyes flashed in warning. To not press her any further. 

“I need to take a walk. Get some air.”

Ahri lets her go but not without giving her knuckles a kiss. She was a little disappointed that Kai’Sa pulled her hand away so quickly. 

“Be careful and don’t take too long okay? And Kai-Kai, I can listen if you want me to.”

Kai’Sa said nothing as she walked out of the bedroom, leaving a draft in her wake. 

Ahri stays awake until exhaustion catches up with her. There were murmurs and she caught the sound of the front door opening once again. Kai'Sa sounded unhappy. There was a mix of accented curse words. Too colorful in the early morning. 

The gumiho rolled over, trying to soak up those few moments of rest before her days started again.

_Another mental note._

She would ask her in the morning. She needed to talk to her about it. That is _if_ Kai'Sa even allows a conversation to happen at all.

"...can't even see that their actions are hurting me..."

Ahri’s world was still blurry as her mind faded in and out of consciousness. Her ears swiveled to hear more, but she was losing her grip on consciousness. 

"...doesn't care for me enough to stop and think..."

And that's all she can make out from the conversation before she passes out. The lack of peaches in the air told her that Kai’Sa didn’t return to their bed. 

  
  


//

“Ahri?”

“You’ve been really off lately...”

Ahri shook her head. Why did her head feel so fuzzy?

“You should probably eat something.”

The gumiho mumbled that she did. She went through her mental map. She could see the days in front of her like a blackboard. She knew she was present for every meal. 

But did she eat?

She was sure that she did. 

It was Tteokbokki. 

Then Sichuan Hot Pot. 

Then Steak and Potatoes.

Then ...Then…

“You _haven’t_ been eating _enough_ Ahri.” Kai’Sa said sharply as Ahri went to take a seat, her head spinning. 

“I…”

“Kai’Sa tone it down, she looks sick.” Evelynn warned, lashers moving to support.

“Of course she is!” Seraphine said worriedly as she held Ahri’s hand. It was clammy and limp in her hold. She had heard of idols pushing themselves to the limit. But not like this. 

Ahri was then assisted to lay down flat on the dance floor so that the vertigo could leave her.

“Ahri…” called out the rapper. “Ahri can you hear us?”

The tightness in her chest was there. 

“I think...I think I need to go to bed.” She murmured as her eyes closed. 

Her body was pressed against the floor, curled up against the songstress’ lap. She kept her back turned from Kai’Sa’s direction. She didn’t have the energy to look at her. She didn’t have the energy to defend her pain. 

But she could feel the searing sensation of eyes staring at her back. 

Ahri had one thought before her world faded to black. 

_She messed up._ _  
  
_

She just wished she knew how.

  
  


//

  
  
  


Ahri woke up again to see Kai’Sa dabbing sweat off her forehead. She was confused. Why wasn’t she back in the dance room downstairs?

“You fell asleep and didn’t wake up. You fainted.”

She gulped. 

_Oh no._

There was that tone of disappointment again.

This was a complete 180 of the Kai’Sa that held her tenderly in her arms just earlier that month. She remembered waking up from her first panic attack to a concerned but loving gaze. 

Now, Kai’Sa’s piercing gaze was frustrated.

It had only been a couple weeks since their first kiss...was she really screwing this up before it truly began?

“I swear I’ll be better. I’ve been doing Evelynn’s schedule, I sleep at a good time.”

It was true partly, she was sleeping better. She slept in Kai’Sa’s bed for the week. But when she was awake, she drained faster than she could feel rested.

“Tell me what’s wrong? Why haven’t you’ve been eating the food that we make together?”

Ahri looked at her penetrating gaze.

“I just...really don’t feel hungry. _Food makes me... nervous.”_

There was a smell in the air that was pungent and foul and enough for Ahri to gag. The lack of food in her system made her other senses sensitive.

It was the scent of doubt. 

She could smell the doubt that was radiating from Kai’Sa in waves. 

“I’m...I’m sorry. I can do better.” Ahri pleaded, weakly reaching for Kai’Sa’s hand from her prone position. 

Kai’Sa moved her hand away. 

Ahri’s heart went cold.

“Rest.”

  
  
  
  


//

  
  


Why was Kai’Sa suddenly so cold?

The following day, Ahri made sure she was on her best behavior.

She tried to put the food in her mouth, but it tasted like ash and asphalt. She swallowed each bite painfully in between mouthfuls of tea. When she offered to wash the dishes, Kai’Sa gave her a withering look and told her to rest on the couch. 

Luckily it was simply just vocal lessons. 

Seraphine looked at her with apprehension as they ran through potential lyrics for her solo. 

She needed to make sure that the maknae line can trust her leadership. Ahri decided to sit down and held a water bottle in her hands. Ahri eyed the clock and drank five gulps every 15 minutes. 

It was something she could do. 

She could get the timing right. 

If she ate right. And drank right. And slept right. It’s like being human. Caring for her body in the way a human works.

But with all the right things, why didn't it feel good?

Why was her head so foggy?

_‘Why was Kai’Sa...why was Kai’Sa pulling away_?’

_Another mental note._

She needed answers.

Everything else could come later if it meant that Kai’Sa’s expression was loving again.

  
  


//

Ahri tries again the following morning. 

She wakes up early in order to make breakfast while Kai’Sa was still back in her own room fast asleep. 

It was supposed to be a gesture in good faith. But Ahri could also hide it away by also making everyone’s favourite breakfast sweets. 

Akali and her waffles. 

Evelynn and her French Toast. 

Seraphine and Kai’Sa with their fruit crepes. 

She was just about done when she heard that sweet accent. 

“What are you doing?”

Ahri stills. She wasn’t expecting that response. 

“Making breakfast. I wanted to thank you for what you’ve done for me.” She replied, keeping her tone light and unbothered.

She plated one of Kai’Sa indulgent favorites, peach crepes with a dollop of light whipped cream in between each fold. Turns out Ahri can cook but her cooking was heavily on the sweeter side. She already had the kettle boiling, ready to pour out some tea for the two of them. 

Ahri was quite proud of herself. 

Her tail was wagging slightly, thinking she did a good thing.

“You should be resting.” Kai’Sa said, her tone a mixture of frustrated and annoyed. “That would make me feel better.”

“Wa-wait, please just let me finish this one. I’m almost done.” Ahri said from over her shoulder as she flipped the last one onto the plate. “I really want you to try it!”

Ahri presented her with a plate of her crepes. 

It was not as neat as the dancer could’ve probably have done it. But the gumiho was happy with how it turned out. 

A little silly but she made a heart with the peach slices that she had left over and alongside it was a wannabe fox icing drawing. 

“Bed. Now.” Kai’Sa said, putting the place aside without a second glance. “I need you to listen to me for once please.”

Ahri’s cheeks were aflamed. She tries to reach for Kai’Sa’s hand, prepared to apologize. 

She wanted a sign that Kai’Sa’s ire would fade.

Her heart dropped when Kai’Sa pulled her hand away and crossed her arms. The rejection was a douse of cold water and it seeped into her bones. 

Her next breath caught in her throat.

She was stunned.

Did Kai’Sa _reject_ her?

It was akin to bopping a dog on the nose when they were caught chewing on a shoe. 

It felt the same. 

It drove a dagger in her heart.

Her cheeks were scarlet.

Her hands dropped to her side. Her ears pressed against her scalp. Her tail was flat against her legs. She turned off the stove, walked back to her room and shut the door.

  
  
  


//

  
  


**In a private message between an Ahri and Akali: Operation North Star**

  
  


**Ahri** : Is...Kai’Sa mad at me?

  
  


**Akali** : oi unnie y would she be mad?

  
  


**Ahri:** Did I do something wrong?

  
  


**Akali:** whu? i dun get it?

**Ahri** : I went to try to make...to make breakfast to say thank you. And...she told me to go to bed. 

**Ahri:** She sounds really angry. 

**Ahri** : I eat. I drink. I sleep...I sleep better with her. I haven't slept well in so long…

**Ahri** : I think I’m doing everything right? I followed Evelynn’s schedule too.

**Akali** : You’ve been eating smaller portions. That could be something but you seem hydrated. But how's your mental?

**Ahri** ...It’s...It’s...my head feels so boxed in. It’s ringing all the time. And she helps, and then the noises stops… 

**Akali** : Have you talked to her about the eating thing? 

**Ahri:** She...doesn’t believe me? I don't know what to think, she’s not talking to me.

**Ahri** : I think I’m losing her...and she’s not...she’s not...she’s not…

**Ahri:** When she looks at me...it’s like I’m hurting her and I don’t know why.

**Akali: …**

//

  
  
  


Ahri spent the rest of her early morning in her own bed. She wanted to go back in Kai’Sa’s room, but something inside her core told her that it is a terrible idea. 

Physical space might be good.

Maybe there was an explanation why Kai’Sa was so grumpy. 

Texting Akali had helped some, but even after their brief conversation it did nothing to assuage the gnawing sensation she felt in her bones. Her mind raced through multiple possibilities of why Kai’Sa would be so short tempered. 

She was sure she did nothing physically wrong to Kai’Sa.

She made sure she asked before she did anything,

Had she did something else to offend her?

Surely not, Ahri thought. But with her mind pressed with other lingering thoughts that demanded her attention, she wondered if she needed to re-write her priorities. 

She rearranged her mental priorities to fit the most important things first. 

  * K/DA
  * Kai’Sa
  * Financial Security
  * Hygiene
  * Food/Water/Sleep



She shook her head. That list wouldn’t do. 

  * Food/Water/Sleep
  * Hygiene
  * K/DA
  * Financial Security 
  * Kai’Sa



But even if she looked right and sounded right in her head,she felt that the dancer should be a lot higher on the list. 

Ahri curled into the sheets, pulling the blankets over her head. 

It was unlocked so if anyone was looking for her, they were more than happy to stroll right in. Kai’Sa had delivered breakfast to her. It wasn’t the crepe that she made earlier. 

It was more balanced and healthy with a side of vegetables. 

It was so hopeless. Giving her a bit of vegetables at every meal. Ahri gave her a smile to tell her thanks.

But Kai’Sa merely told her to eat everything on the plate and that she would handle the rest of Ahri’s chores (since it was the gumihos day to do chores).

“Kai’Sa wait…”

The dancer turned.

“Please, give me time. I’m really trying. I hope you can see that.” Ahri called out, her voice wavering in her own confidence. Her voice which once commanded presence and awe sounded small and weak to her own vulpine ears. 

Kai’Sa sighed in disbelief, opened the door and walked out. 

And with it Ahri’s dwindling hope. 

  
  


//

Another week or two passes. 

Ahri’s strength in herself faded. 

But she tried. 

She kept the smile. 

She kept the facade. 

She clung on to Evelynn. 

She doted harder on Akali and Seraphine. 

But all she wanted was her dancer. 

She sang and danced with every inch of her power. Her blue foxfire acted as a back-up generator. It was flashy and unnecessary, but she smoothly claimed that it was to add to the practice routine for it to be the real deal. 

Evelynn joined in, using her lashers to one-up the gumiho in playful competition. Before she knew it everyone started to add their own flare with the choreography. 

That was good. Ahri thought. That was good. Divert the attention away from her waning strength. Away from more questions. 

The food was still a problem. It still tasted like asphalt and ash. 

She knew that the presentation, the look of steam wafting from the ingredients was a telling sign that every meal was made with care and love. She knew that consciously. But her nose burned and the air felt rancid.

_Another blur of red. The air tastes like blood. Cries and screams._

She blinked her eyes and then before she knew it dinner had already been finished. And everyone had gone up to their respective bedrooms.

She needed to talk to Kai’Sa now, otherwise…

The gumiho didn’t want to think of the other possible alternatives. 

“Kai’Sa...please talk to me.”

Kai’Sa sighed and neatly put the cutlery away in their respective cabinets. Ahri leaned against the bar, twiddling her thumbs as she watched the taut muscles in the dancer’s back tighten.

“You and I spent time making this food and you _don’t_ eat? How does that make me feel?” Kai’Sa asked with her back still turned from the gumiho.

“It’s about the food…? I’m just not hungry…?” Ahri said as her words trailed into a question.

“It’s not _just_ about the food. It’s about everything else.” Kai’Sa said, a hard edge to her tone, snapping the towel down against the counter a little harder than necessary. She turned around at last, her arms motioning toward the gumiho. 

“Why deny yourself the things that make you function? Food? Water? Sleep?”

“It’s...not like that. It’s not because I’m hurting myself like that on purpose.”

“Well you are!” The dancer’s voice rose with every word. Her fingers slowly curls into a fist. “You passed out before Ahri - no, _you had a panic attack_ because you had no energy and your mind played games with you.”

Ahri’s eyes darkened slightly. A subtle shift in the air.

Ahri’s hands were up in surrender. 

“It was scary the first time Ahri…” Kai’Sa whispered, the tone shifting toward disbelief. “I can’t- I can’t go through that again.”

“I know it’s not a game...I know it’s not. I know, I’ve been doing what you’ve asked. I’ve eaten and drank and slept on a schedule…” Ahri said as she tried to plead her case, her own claws scratching the underside of the bar to keep herself grounded.

Something flashed in Ahri’s mind and her vision swam.

  
  


_‘Fuck!’_

  
  


_‘Not now!’_

  
  


_‘Not now’_

  
  


She looked to Kai’Sa. The dancer was not satisfied with her response.

“I can’t magically make myself better Kai’Sa.'' Ahri said quietly, picking at fabric. She has to do better, she wants to be better. She takes a mental note of what she needs to do to fix this ASAP. “If I could, I would. Please, please, please. Can you be patient with me?”

Kai’Sa steps back and holds herself instead. Keeping her hands away from Ahri’s reach. 

“I think you should go. I can’t see you destroy yourself like this. I can’t see you like this.”

“I-I see...I’ll...I’ll…”

Ahri’s tail droops. Tears pricked her eyes. She tried to keep her composure - but every part of her rattled like a prisoner in a shell that was desperate to find freedom. 

  
  


**//**

  
  
  


Those words rang in her head like a metronome.

_“I think you should go. I can’t see you destroy yourself like this. I can’t see you like this.”_

She was sure that Evelynn could taste her agony, but the succubus was silent on the issue. 

She went to her bedroom after the confrontation. Dessert was forgotten.

She made no scene. 

She made no sound. 

She opened the door and closed it quietly. 

She just slid to the floor, back against the door, and sat there. 

Her breathing was slow. So slow that she was sure that she almost blacked out. 

She felt hot tears roll down her cheeks. Her fangs pricked her lip as she tried to stifle the heaving breaths as she tried to calm herself. 

_She doesn’t want to see me…_

_She doesn't want to see me…_

_She doesn't_ **_want_ ** _me..._

Ahri panics. 

Her breathing was tight. 

She forced herself to lay flat on the ground so that she wouldn’t hurt herself from falling over. 

She didn’t want to make another scene. 

_Knock! Knock!_

“Ahri are you okay?”

It was Seraphine.

She cleared her throat, trying to swallow down the sob that was threatening to escape.

“Just-just a little tired. I’m turning in tonight.”

  
  
  
  


// 

  
  
  
  


Akali and Seraphine looked at each other. 

Doubt was etched on their faces. 

“What in the world happened?” Akali whispered. 

  
  
  


// 

  
  
  


Kai’Sa rubbed her forehead. 

_‘Fuck.’_

She wasn’t supposed to go about it that way. 

“I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing, rejecting Ahri like that.” Evelynn said as she leaned against the door. “I don’t take kindly to those who hurt Ahri. You of all people should know.”

The tone was warning. And underneath was a thinly veiled threat. 

Evelynn only made threats towards those that crossed her. There are _no_ exceptions. 

Kai’Sa turned away and continued to wipe down the table with disinfectant and soap. She made sure she disposed of the rags in their respective containers but addressed the succubus in the room. “It's not like that Eve...I can't put energy to help bring Ahri up when she’s down. She has to do that on her own.”

“For the compassionate person that I _know_ you are, that is an incredibly, _incredibly_ misguided way of thinking.” Evelynn glared. 

“Ahri has centuries of pent up issues…she’s _really_ working on them. Do you have _any idea_ what her thought processes go through just so she thinks she isn’t burdening everyone?”

“...”

“You know she actually wouldn’t listen to me bark orders in her own office all day. She did it because she knew K/DA would be affected. She knew that her condition would affect you.”

Evelynn shivered when she remembered the lack of light in Ahri's eyes when they had reconnected back in Prague.

It was terrifying. 

An event she would not want to have a repeat performance of. 

“This thing with Ahri is more than abandonment issues Kai’Sa..she thinks she’s undeserving of you.”

“Well…”

“I see right now that you’re not deserving of her heart.”

Kai’sa got riled up. Defensive. 

“Is that so?”

“Being with Ahri means being with every part of her. And not just when she’s at her happiest. She’s been unhappy for longer than you think, Kai’Sa. Why do you think that is? Hm?”

At the prodding questions, Kai’Sa could feel the heat rise to her cheeks. Shame slapping her upside the head. Especially when it came from the succubus it felt doubly humiliating. 

“Why do you _think_ she manages a lot for all of us? To forget that her trauma _hurts_ even if it means working herself to the bone.”

“It’s not healthy.” Kai’Sa said simply. Stubborn, more like it. But her tone had no power like it did when she talked to the gumiho. 

Evelynn sighed and stared at Kai’Sa with a withering look. “She trusted you. She freely gave up her heart. And what did you do? You threw it in her face. She tries in her own way and at the first sign of failure, you leave her hanging.”

Kai’Sa rubbed her fingers against her temple, counted to ten in her head before responding, “I can admit I did handle it wrong, but I think I’m well within my rights to say no to something that could be unhealthy. You told me yourself that hyperfixation would be terrible for me. And I know myself. I can’t tie myself to...to someone who can’t help themselves.”

She thinks of her father, who spent more time away from her - and away from her trauma. Her father would be too pissed, drunk, angry, bitter, to want to take care of his daughter. The smiles in pictures on top of her dresser were all plastered and fake, just like her father’s alleged love for her.

He loved alcohol _far_ more than he _loved_ her.

Evelynn was right, she did say she’d keep Ahri’s heart safe. And Ahri said her assent with no hesitation. 

“She loved me when I had no space for her.” Evelynn said quietly. “And I regretted turning her away for centuries. I always will.”

Kai’Sa eyebrow quirked. 

From the statement, she had to guess that Evelynn had a similar problem with Ahri before. 

“You…?”

“I abandoned her when all she did was try to love me in her own clumsy, foxy way.”

Kai’Sa laughed in disbelief.

“The _great_ Evelynn...abandoned Ahri?”

“I didn’t give her a chance to explain myself until after I hurt her for nearly a millennia. That’s a millennia of her guessing if she’s worthy to even keep a friendship in her lonely existence.”

The revelation made her heart ache. The past weeks in distancing herself from the gumiho, she didn’t realize that Ahri had done this dance before. 

Only that it lasted longer and was far more lonely.

Evelynn walked away without giving a last warning, “Ahri needs to know if she has a spot in that heart of yours.”

Maybe she was foolish to think that she was deserving of the gumiho’s inescapable kindness. 

“Ahri deserves that much at the very least.”

  
  


//

  
  


**Meanwhile…**

  
  


Ahri reaches for a sweater that she failed to return to Kai’Sa.

She holds it close to breathe it in, to breathe in what’s left of Kai’Sa’s previous affection for her. 

The smell of her grapefruit shampoo and body lotion.

Could this be her saving grace? That this misfit piece of cotton was going to be better than Kai’Sa’s arms?

The tears burst through at last when her nose pressed against the fabric.

It didn’t smell of grapefruits.

She couldn’t find Kai’Sa’s scent anywhere.

Ahri bit her palm to stifle the cries as she poured out her soul on a piece of fabric that was useless in healing her. If Kai’Sa held any affection for her, she would smell it. And if she didn’t. She would smell nothing. 

She inhaled. 

And another piece of her breaks. 

She found no scent except for the salt that she tasted in her tears. 

  
  
  


//

_‘Oh fuck.’_

Kai’Sa could hear it.

She was sure that Ahri could’ve hurt her footsteps.

But her cries were loud enough to drown it out.

Her hand pressed against the door.

_‘Oh god.’_

Her heart was breaking. 

Ahri’s cries were loud enough to be heard from her doorway. 

She was sure that everyone could hear.

This wasn’t the panicked cry that she heard several weeks ago.

These were deep, ragged sobs. She could hear that Ahri was nearly struggling to breathe as she attempted to stifle them. 

It was futile. 

Kai’Sa heard them all. 

The unsettling weight that Kai’Sa felt in her chest turned sharp. It twisted and tugged whenever a choked sob escaped. 

Kai’Sa hands reached for the door knob. She was going to get to Ahri. She was going to open the door and then - 

To do what exactly?

Something.

Anything.

Anything to make those cries stop. 

A silvery symbiote chirped. 

It slithered out just as Kai’Sa was about to open her hand and forced her fingers to retract. 

Kai’Sa’s stilled.

_‘Oh no.’_

If her symbiote reacted this way, it was in warning. 

A self defense mechanism. 

Ahri’s pain was something that could hurt the dancer. 

This was out of her league. 

She couldn’t help Ahri.

She knew it was late in the evening.

But there was one person that could help.

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


Kai’Sa knocked on Evelynn’s door. Urgently. 

Akali opened the door, rubbing her eyes.

“Bokkie?” She said with a yawn.

“Can I borrow Eve?”

Akali slouched back to her bed and tapped Evelynn on the shoulder.

“Evelynn babe, Kai’Sa needs you.” 

Kai’Sa noticed it wasn’t ‘Eevee.’ The use of her true name meant that it was serious. Akali had sensed it in the dancer’s aura. 

Kai’Sa kept her eyes low as she murmured that Akali’s statement was true. Annoyed golden eyes appraised the dancer from her position in bed and her eyes narrowed at the sight of silver that wrapped Kai’Sa’s hand in a protective barrier. 

“It’s Ahri.”

At a moment’s notice, Evelynn was dressed in a robe that left nothing to imagination. Kai’Sa and Evelynn walked quickly back to Ahri’s door. Akali now joined by an equally worried Seraphine, who looked on from the hallway. 

The cries hadn’t ceased.

The two of them winced as they heard Ahri let out weak coughs. 

“Evelynn…” Kai’Sa pleaded.

“I got it from here my dear.” Evelynn’s voice was soft, a hand against the small of Kai’Sa’s back. The symbiote preened at the gesture and slowly pulled itself from Kai’Sa’s hands back to their usual floating perch.

Kai’Sa watched as Evelynn opened Ahri’s door and disappeared behind them. 

Effectively blocking her out from joining. 

She could hear that Ahri’s cries softened and there was hushed whispering. 

There was a sudden swoosh and Kai’sa released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

They were gone. 

And Kai’Sa stood there in the hallway. The guilt was sitting high in the pits of her stomach. 

She had to do something. 

She turned to see the youngest members looking at her. Seraphine was wrapped around Akali’s back, looking at Ahri’s closed door with worry. Akali had her lips set in a hardline. 

They didn’t look at her that she was the offender. 

It was the look of pity. 

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


Evelynn opened the door and saw the gumiho that was curled on the floor, holding onto a lone purple sweater. 

The succubus touched her friends shoulder and lovingly pulled her into her arms.

The gumiho let herself be transported in a haze of shadows to the rooftop. After some time, the cries had ceased. And with it a limp and melancholy Ahri. 

“Foxy, what happened?” Evelynn asked in Latin. 

“She sent me away.”

“Why?”

“She sent me off...because I'm not well . And I don’t know how to undo the mistakes that brought me here.”

“Explain.”

“There’s a hunger I cannot sate. There’s a thirst I cannot quench. I can be fed, but I can’t be satisfied. Instead I wither… I don’t understand it myself.” .” She counted with her fingers. “...Am I doing something wrong?”

Evelynn bit her lip.

“Perish the thought. How can that be? Your head is in the clouds, love. More than usual. I thought your ‘mental notes’...” 

Evelynn raised her fingers in quotations. “I thought they went to rest with Kai’Sa around.”

“They will follow me. As they have for centuries..” Ahri admitted. Her tone turned melancholy instead of distressed. “I must put effort in things.. Otherwise, I think about the things that haunt me.”

“Is this during the period where we were apart?”

Ahri sighed, unsure how to form her words, “What is done, cannot be undone.”

Evelynn clicked her tongue. 

She knew it.

The gumiho still suffered from the event. 

“I’ve hurt you. ”

“And you won’t be the last.” The gumiho stated,her tails rubbing against Evelynn’s lashers. The tails cupped the lashers as if they were pups being nursed from the cold. 

“I think I understand the more I think about it.”

Evelynn held Ahri from behind. One hand across Ahri’s shoulder and the other around her waist. 

“Tell me.”

“She wants me to be at my best. She doesn’t want to see me like this.” 

Ahri gestures to herself. “She is ashamed of this helpless pup that I am. Broken. Weak. Sick.”

Evelynn growled, her nails biting into Ahri’s skin. 

“You’re not weak. I was the weak one.”

Ahri shrugged. “My strength leaves me with every morning. Can you say you feel the same?”

The gumiho snapped her finger and a blue flame tickled in her palm. The size of the flame was no bigger than a small ball, easily cupped in one hand. She bounced it up and down before letting it dissipate as quickly as a small flame against the wind. 

The flame didn’t envied warmth, but of an icy loneliness. 

“All the power and time in the world. Yet, I’m powerless when it comes to her.”

She wanted to be angry. 

But she couldn’t be. 

Anger caused her to level countries. She wouldn’t regress to that again. She would rather be a weak pup than a vindictive murderer. 

“I don’t have a place right now in her heart with all my broken pieces.” Ahri said hollowly this time in perfect Korean. “Not one piece. I wouldn’t want me either.”

Evelynn spun her around so that they were eye to eye. 

“I’ve made a mistake. And I came back to you. Kai’Sa made a mistake. Have you lost trust in her?”

Ahri cracked a heartbroken smile. 

“ _Never._ I love her. As I loved you then.”

Evelynn blushed. 

_Well that was news to her._

“I made the mistake of thinking I was worthy enough to pursue something.” Ahri countered, taking the succubus’s silence as a pause. She looks to the sky and could sense the looming full moon that would overtake the sky the following night.”

“After...after Chuseok, I’ll have to get better. I have to. For myself. For K/DA. For her.”

_//_

**September 30th, 2020**

It was Chuseok in South Korea, the Autumn Festival and the biggest holiday for most of the citizens. It was a time to celebrate South Korea’s traditional roots of farming and gathering. A majority of city dwellers return home to their families’ household to celebrate family and the copious amounts of food. It was also a time to visit gravesites and pay respects for good blessings for the rest of the lunar year. It was a holiday that was meant to be taken in good faith.

However with the pandemic around, there were limitations on family gatherings. Thankfully, social media made it possible for families to stay connected by posting their personal versions of altars along with the foods they were able to make from home. 

Despite the distance, it was still possible to enjoy the Chuseok holiday. 

For the K/DA manor, not everyone shared similar happy feelings. 

Seraphine was quite homesick. While she didn’t personally celebrate Chuseok, she made sure to call her father to let him know that she was doing well and that she was taken care of during her extended stay. 

There were some tears, but she was comforted by the older girls as they promised to make her first Chuseok a happy one. 

To uplift the mood, Ahri, their resident “Korean-adjacent” gumiho teased that this was the one time she could be worshipped like the deity she is-kinda-sorta-is-but-not-really.

“Technically(-ish), I protected gravesites. And if you honoured gravesites, you therefore honoured me!” Ahri chirped as she was carried around by Akali in a piggy-back.

“You’re lucky that I’m here to keep your ego down you mutt.” Evelynn said while pinching one of the fluffy tails, one lasher patting Seraphine on the head. 

“Ouch!”

“Sera, this is going to be one hell of a party!” Akali said once she set down her leader, turning to the smaller woman. “Your belly is definitely going to pop with Kai’Sa around.”

“Just for that comment, your plate is being filled last…” Kai’Sa said dryly as she wrote down an ingredients list. There was quite a bit of shopping to do and she didn’t want to miss a single detail. 

“Take your Ahri-unnie with you.”

Akali cocked her head to the side, “I thought she was supposed to help you in the kitchen?”

Kai’Sa shook her head, her expression strained, “There’s a lot of cooking to be done, it’ll be faster if I just do it by myself for once.”

When the rapper looked to see their leader nursing yet another cup of coffee, there was no sign that Ahri was offended; if anything that _strange far away smile_ was on her face.

“Come now maknae, let’s grab your Eevee to get the car warmed up.”

The gumiho strides out the kitchen without a second look. 

Akali looks back to see Kai’Sa rubbing her temples. They really needed to talk. This shit can't continue.

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


**Hours later...**

Their bellies were full and plates were stowed away. Akali needed some water to help cool the fiery afterburn of all the spicy ramyun she ate. 

Even if she ate normal food _,_ her day wouldn’t be complete if she didn’t eat at least one bowl of her favourite spicy shit. Evelynn had already fallen asleep, her face pressed against Akali’s thigh. 

No metallic claws.

No makeup.

Even in the nude, a sleepy Evelynn was probably her favourite Evelynn.

Akali smirked at the thought. There were several ways to get to that point, but not tonight. Tonight was just a nice night in.

But her stomach had other ideas. 

Her stomach was hungry for some answers. Because the maknae wasn’t sure what to think about the Kai’Sa and Ahri. 

She was sure they were alright considering that three weeks ago Evelynn had dropped the bomb that they were at least kissing. The rapper was ecstatic. Her unnie could finally loosen up and enjoy the simpler things in life. Which is enjoying the company with people she loved. 

Not love.

But love _love._

And it was the dancer that held her affections. 

She really thought it was smooth sailing from there because they were attached to the hip. More open back hugs and kisses on the cheek. And _maybe_ once or twice Akali caught the sight of the two of them having a languid kiss. 

But Ahri also admitted in their private group chat that their relationship was undefined. Which was strange because Akali probably wasn’t paying attention to the subtle signs that these things had gone amiss. 

Maybe she should’ve been more attentive. 

The maknae prided herself in looking out for her members but as Master Shen always reminded her, sometimes things manifested in other ways. 

Maybe there was a reason that the room felt colder, but their smiles and expressions showed no sign of issues. Their tones were kind and soft, as they always were at least to each other. Akali thinks to herself, racking her brain for more memories of when exactly did things shift. 

She snaps her finger in her AHA moment.

The lack of Ahri draped across Kai’Sa’s shoulders the past couple of days. That must’ve been it. Or maybe it’s because Ahri had been asking to take naps with Akali a little more often than usual. 

_“Unnie, back for another nap today?”_

_“This is the one time I’ll let you get away from calling me an old woman.” Ahri said as she pinched Akali’s cheek._

_Akali could only grin and let Ahri fall into her arms, curled into their many bean bags in the gaming room._

_“So why so sleepy lately?”_

_Ahri grunted as she forced herself to get comfy._

_“I’m just really, really tired.”_

_“Tired tired? Or soul tired?”_

_Ahri yawned before falling asleep to Akali’s comforting ear pets._

_“Both. So so tired.”_

Evelynn would find them passed out, mouths opened, drooling all over their clothes. The succubus would sort them out, pulling out the spare futon that was in the closet so that they would all be more comfortable. 

Akali loves her group naps. But too many group naps means she can’t get her stuff done. When she mentioned that in passing, the gumiho had ceased the group naps. 

And during meals, the maknae could see her leader nursing a cup of coffee. 

Not tea.

_Coffee._

Ahri had always preferred tea, it kept her caffeine levels in check, and some mumbo-jumbo about it makes her feel more closer to a rabid dog. 

Akali only liked coffee when she had her late nights in the studio. 

She took that back. 

Evelynn, Seraphine and herself were the coffee fiends.

Kai’Sa and Ahri were more than happy to share tea bags. 

But for Ahri, to nurse coffee means that she really was having a difficult time staying asleep. Seraphine seemed to catch on and kept her hand on top of Ahri’s to stop her from reaching for the kettle for the third time that day. 

Two was more than enough. 

Three might send Ahri into the bundle of nerves that they were _all_ trying to avoid. 

In her own way, Akali tried to keep her occupied by entertaining her leader with conversations that went on multiple tangents. It helped some but there was a Ahri’s concentration for conversation that seemed to dwindle as well despite the jittery look in her eyes. 

Ahri has always been quite chatty in their group of four. Even now with Seraphine, Ahri made sure to include her in the conversation given Seraphine’s anxiety of meeting new people. She would tease and flirt with Evelynn to get a reaction out of the maknae line, but Ahri had surprisingly ceased her teasing to simple jabs or compliments.

The expression was ‘sisterly’ or ‘leader-like but there was a faraway look to it as well. 

Spacey. 

And spacey wasn’t really Ahri. 

She saw a similar expression with Evelynn when they were in bed or in a bath together. Evelynn would be staring into the wall. Her responses would be as normal as everyday but her eyes would be dim. 

She would ask what’s wrong but the succubus would reply with a deep-seated melancholy that even made Akali shiver in sadness.

_“I’d forgotten how much time has passed, things have changed.” The succubus whispered as she left butterfly kisses on Akali’s cheeks. “I wonder if I’ve changed.”_

_Akali would let Evelynn curl up in her arms and reply, “You’ve changed, I promise Evelynn. You’ve changed. You’ve changed because you wanted to. Not because the world demanded you to.”_

It was like that. Looking at Ahri now was like looking at a pensive Evelynn.

What was Kai’Sa doing about this?

There was probably an explanation.

_Growl! Growl!_

The maknae stared at her abs.

“So fucking rude. I’m trying to have an inner monologue here.”

  
  


//

It was a little after midnight that she was able to untangle herself from Evelynn’s grip. 

Akali walked into the kitchen to see Kai’Sa at the dinner table. Her hair undone from it’s high ponytail, dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants instead of her usual crop top and leggings. 

_That’s weird… this is Bokkie’s scrub clothes. Is she in a mood?_

Grey eyes looked on the table to see a lone bottle of soju before her along with an empty shot glass.

_Okay there is something seriously wrong. Bokkie doesn’t drink._

Akali knocked on the doorway to show her presence. Kai’Sa looked at the maknae with a weak smile and then moved her gaze back to the bottle. As if her eyes willed for the bottle to open and pour a drink itself. 

“Bokkie are you okay?”

“No…”

Kai’Sa takes the bottle, twists the cap open, pours herself a shot but does not drink it. She picks up the shot glass with a loose grip. The glass just stays cool in her hand as she brought her knees to her chest. She twirled the shot glass, letting the liquid swirl and spill off the rim. 

Akali winced at the sharp scent of distilled alcohol in the air. It was not often that she drank, really only for special occasions.

Kai’Sa had explained that she rarely drinks, but in no way stops the rest of K/DA from enjoying their alcohol. There wasn’t a clear explanation, but everyone agreed to keep their drinking to a minimum out of respect for the dancer. 

Three years later, there was still no story. 

But it was quite alright, the lack of alcohol kept their minds sharp, there were more days spent in creating music instead of nursing hangovers. 

Technically by default, Kai’Sa did them all a favour. 

But seeing the dancer, attempting to drink alone, _that_ was something to talk about. Akali slid into the seat opposite of her. 

“Ahri and I are not talking…”

Akali smoothly takes the drink from Kai’Sa and throws it back herself. The rapper hissed at the feel of a dry burn that dragged down her throat and into her stomach. She feels the heat in her cheeks as the soju starts to take its hold. This is the one time she _wished_ she wasn’t a light-weight. 

Kai’Sa shouldn’t be drinking anyways. 

A Black Knight. 

Well, technically a Black Rose, but the rapper knew she preferred the context of being a knight for her members. She’s a protector through and through.

“Mhmm…”

Kai’Sa’s expression didn’t seem shocked as Akali took her shot in her honour, nor did she expect it. She stared at the soju bottle, as if the lingering dew drops held all the answers to her problems. 

“My father called me three weeks ago when this thing with Ahri started...”

The rapper clicked her tongue. 

That was definitely a sore topic. 

Everyone in K/DA had their own personal hang ups about their parents. 

However, there was no one more tight-lipped about it than Kai’Sa. Ahri just so happened to be a close second. 

_‘I just don’t remember much._ ’ The gumiho said one day in passing. 

Akali went to the cabinet and pulled out another shot glass. She set the other glass down and poured for both of them. Luckily it was just one bottle. And as long as Kai’Sa didn’t bring another bottle to the table, this was expected to be the only bottle between the two.

Kai’Sa took the newly refilled glass, bringing it to her lips. 

“My father _drinks.._.when he’s stressed.”

She didn’t tip the glass back, and instead put it back on the table. Then Kai’Sa buried her face in her hands, “I’m such an asshole.”

Akali snorted despite the mood. She drank again. Hissed at the burn once more.

“Tell me something I don’t know Bokkie.”

It was meant to be teasing and light. It just be those sad-girl hours.

A pregnant pause and then the teary, blubbering came.

“Ahri won’t talk to me. Evelynn is mad at me because I could’ve treated Ahri with more patience instead of writing off her poor health habits as something that is attention seeking.”

Now that pissed Akali off. She clenched her jaw to keep herself from jumping down Kai’Sa’s throat. 

There was no way that Ahri did anything that was considered attention seeking. She’s seen enough of that in the dojo. She’s seen enough of that from her pre-debut days. 

Whatever Ahri was going through was not intended to be attention-seeking. It was a cry for help that the gumiho didn’t know how to ask for. 

How the fuck did Kai’Sa get that so wrong?

A choked sob pulled Akali out of her thoughts. Her expression shifted from frustration to concern as tears flowed down Kai’Sa’s face. 

“She still looks at me like I hold the sun. She still smiles at me like I did nothing wrong. I feel _gutted_ everytime.”

“Do you feel guilty that you hurt her?”

“Of course I do!” Kai’Sa cried out, slapping a hand on the table. When she realized what she had done, she pulled her hand away, tucking it between her thighs to keep herself from reacting physically. 

Akali pointed a finger at Kai’Sa, “I don't know Bokkie, you were ready to run the moment Ahri fell apart except for the first time she had a panic attack. The moment _you had something more,_ you threw it away because it got too real?”

Kai’Sa glared at Akali, despite the shame building up in her throat, choking her words, “I’m not here for a lecture. I’m here to drink. To forget that I’m a jerk to the literal glue of K/DA. And to forget I’m projecting my father's issues on to her.”

Kai’Sa was right, what could Akali say that the dancer did not already have an internal monologue about. 

“Well since you can’t drink and get drunk anyways, thanks to your cannons.” The rapper offered. “How about we drink water until we need to pee? It’s kinda similar anyways.”

“Shouldn’t you be attached to Ahri this time?” Kai’Sa said glumly, nursing a now water-filled shot glass, “She was always your favourite.”

“Ahri has Evelynn, and they will always have each other. Bokkie, at least you have me. We’re the maknaes. And maknaes stick together otherwise we’d be bullied all the time.”

Kai’Sa snorted and raised her glass. They drank a shot.

Another pause. 

“I love her Akali...I love her and I hurt her so bad. I hurt her and she forgives me and is just existing like the pure person that she is.”

Kai’sa looked at her shaking hands and sighs, “I said she was safe with me. But then again, with how the things are going...she’s getting sicker and isn’t getting better.”

She took another water-filled shot and closed her eyes, face tensed in pain and regret.

“I can't set myself on fire to keep Ahri warm."

For a long moment Akali was silent. 

“Fuck me Kai’Sa. That’s so fucked up.” Akali snorted, downing another shot of water. “Is it so wrong to want someone to help when they’re at their lowest?”

Kai’Sa downed another shot, before pouring herself another one.

“You haven’t met my dad. He’s the reason why I can’t do that for people.”

She stared into the transparent liquid. Her eyes glazed as she remembered exactly why.  
  


//

  
  


_She remembers prying the wine bottle out of his hand and hoisting her father to be led to his bed room._

_She remembers to keep him on his side and to push a nearby trashcan near his face for the inevitable heaves that she would hear from her bedroom just down the hall._

_There would be aspirin (only two) and water with electrolytes already prepared ahead of time._

_There was a subtle smell of stale whiskey on his shirts, and Kai’Sa dutifully took them to the wash. The ironing board was already set in place when the laundry was done so that his suits would be pressed and ready for another day in the office._

_This was Kai’Sa’s reality._

_And it has been since her early childhood._

_Where was her mother?_

_Kai’Sa wished that she knew. All she remembers was that she was gone one day and that her father hadn't been the same since._

_At age ten, she knew what her father’s favourite alcohol aws. She noticed when he started to skip dinners for a bottle that was hidden behind a painting frame._

_At age eleven, she knew which pub that her father was most likely going to be at. Her next door neighbor-turned full-time nanny, Mrs. Hadley, had made it her personal mission to keep an eye on the younger girl during the lonely late hours. Kai’Sa quite liked her a lot._

_Due to her bright age and emotional maturity, she became good friends with the bartender who was always nice enough to give her a cup of ice cream after the last calls had been sent. The young child knew then that she wasn’t supposed to be out during curfew to pick up her father, but she had no choice._

_She had to do what was necessary so that her father would come home. So that she wouldn’t have an empty home._

_At age thirteen, she knew that her father had depression. And that she was compartmentalizing her pain by being his caretaker._

_She cooks and cleans and sends her father to work with a kiss on his cheek, before getting ready for school herself._

_5:00 A.M became her wake-up time. And it hasn’t changed since._

_What she also knew was that her father loved her very much. The stress of his wife leaving him and his demanding job meant that they had to move quite often. And with the rapid changes came the rapid emotional upheavals of new responsibilities._

_Kai’Sa knew that her father would do his best to keep his pain and his addiction away from her. Only choosing to drink when Kai’Sa had long gone to bed._

_Ignorance was bliss._

_They never talked about it, and instead Kai’Sa just treated it as a daily occurrence._

_“Dad, can I join ballet?”_

_While nursing his own hangover, her father smiled. Fatherly, lovingly, and most of all warm._

_“Of course sweetheart. I’d be so proud of you.”_

_He chuckled, as he tried to roll over to his side. His words come out to a slight slur, as he lets the alcohol lull him to sleep._

_“If you do so well, maybe then I can kick this bad habit of mine.”_

_If only thirteen year old Kai’Sa knew that it was just a poorly-timed joke._

_The following day, she sees her father bent over the stove as he attempted to make her favourite breakfast._

_Peach crepes in the shape of her favourite animal._

_A deer._

_It was drooping on one side, the eyes were lop-sided. The legs were short, instead of long. Next to the breakfast was a signed permission slip to start her ballet lessons the following week._

_Her father was not one for hearty breakfasts or even gifts at all. He barely had time to be a father, much less a cook._

_Her heart felt warm. She barely remembered such a feeling. It was enough to send her to tears. Her father remembered that she wanted to try ballet._

_This was her chance!_

_She will dance and perform if it meant that her father would stop drinking long enough to notice._

_If she did well then maybe she could sign up for more extensive ballet classes that she had her eye on when she looked at a flyer at the age of fourteen._

_Even though her feet and arms were sore from the delicate movements of her recital, she kept up her usual tasks of looking after her father._

_While this time, she could feel resentment slightly simmer beneath the veiled ribbons of self control._

_If she did well in everything that she’s done. Her father would stop drinking._

_A maybe was the closest thing she could get to a yes._

_He will stop one day._

_She kept up with her studies, eyeing her dad’s expression towards the little hidey-hole from behind the frame. She refused to let her dad fall down this dangerous path._

_High school was the hardest._

_By then she was juggling her time with dance, studies and volunteering._

_The next time, she got one B on some maths test. It didn’t seem so bad at first, she showed her father her marks during winter break. Everyday till Christmas, he was in his usual drunken stupor._

_Kai’Sa knew then that her actions had consequences._

_She had to keep her father sober._

_Even if it burned her like the way alcohol burned her father’s throat._

_//_

  
  


"So...you’re telling me that Ahri is a ‘manifestation’ of your daddy issues?”

Kai’Sa ignored the jab and drank another shot. 

“If I'm doing everything right Akali...shouldn't that be enough for Ahri or my father to change their ways for me? Or am I supposed to wait and watch them fall apart over and over again.”

Akali paused. She wasn’t entirely sure how to answer. It seemed so stupidly obvious to scream into the heavens ‘Yes!’ 

“She should...right?”

The dancer only chuckled darkly. “Yeah...I thought so too…”

  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_She was more surprised that her father even showed up to her graduation for highschool. Much less college. Her father, all tender eyes and smiles, told her that he was proud._

_She was happy. More than happy, she was ecstatic. Her father was finally seeing her effort and that he was finally going to come through with his end of his declaration._

_They went to celebrate together._

_“Celebrate.”_

_Turns out the celebration meant starting a drunken brawl with the other patrons in the pub._

_She spends her highschool graduation waiting by the lobby of the police station to bail her father out, with Mrs. Hadley wiping her tears with a soft handkerchief._

//

_Kai’Sa remembered the look of betrayal as she took a taxi away from an unnamed building._

_She had just left her father behind at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting._

_How cruel._

_Children should stand by their parents. She should be supportive of her father through this intense journey. Logically, she knew that it would be harder to complete without familial support._

_But her inner will power waned the more her house smelled like alcohol than it did of warmth and home-cooked meals._

_Instead she dances._

_She learns new styles of dances to fill the empty void in her chest whenever her father phoned her from his rehab facility to declare empty-handed promises._

_First it was breakdancing._

_Then it was Paso Doble._

_Then contemporary._

_Before long, she received a letter in the mail. An invitation to join a seasonal position for a ballet troupe that she had applied for sometime ago. That same week, Ahri and Evelynn had recruited her to join K/DA._

_Thanks to their contract, Kai’Sa was able to have money for her needs almost instantaneously. Additionally, Ahri and Evelynn only asked that the money would be used for things that were important._

_With the contract details in front of her, the position and resources at her fingertips, Kai’Sa respectfully declined the offer at the ballet._

_Instead, she hired someone to shadow her father’s every move._

_She ordered Joe “Blitzcrank” Smith to be mindful of his everyday routine. More importantly that if he was passed out in a pub, that he would use her money to pay for his board and care, and ultimately whatever he needed to get through the lows of alcohol withdrawals whenever her father suddenly “had the urge to be sober”._

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  


Akali’s mouth dropped open. 

“And...what about now? Where is your dad?”

“Currently sloshed in Dubai. My handler called. He said that he’s...unwell.”

Kai’Sa stood up to pour out the opened bottle of soju down the sink. It was useless to her and everyone around her. 

“No matter how much I tried, I couldn't do anything. I felt so out of control and that man that I loved more than anything in this world faded into this empty shell.”

She put the bottle into the recycling bin before taking Akali’s hand. "I needed to have control. And I tried to do that. And I’m burnt out. If I do that for Ahri...there’s no telling what I’d do.”

She squeezed the hand, hoping that Akali could understand the reasoning. 

“I dread the thought of leaving her behind when it gets worse.”

“So love them and ditch them huh?”

“That’s so crass…”

“But you did it.” Akali said simply. 

Kai’Sa flailed her free hand around. “And...she’s...I regret it so much.”

Akali sighed and pushed the shot glass away from her. 

“Ahri needs to work on her. You told her the truth and while I’m borderline pissed about it...there’s nothing wrong about that. You’re not ready to support her emotionally like that.”

Kai’Sa sighed. 

“No one needs to be another person’s emotional crutch for that long. Lucky for you, Ahri already knows. That’s why she accepted your rejection so easily.”

“Ahri will work on herself to the best of her ability. She’ll come to you again. Maybe.”

Kai’Sa let a tear fall.

“Will she really be alright?”

Akali drank another shot of water.

“I don’t know, but if she can keep it together for centuries, what's a couple weeks?”

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korean Drinking Culture: 
> 
> A Black Knight (usually a male) who drinks an unfinished shot for (usually) a female due to having a higher tolerance for alcohol. 
> 
> This is just my personal take on Kai’Sa’s lore. I expect Kassadin to be a absentee-father. Despite Kai’Sa looking happy in the Harmonies comic, smiles could just hide bigger pains. 
> 
> Ahri being quite scattered brain during this chapter is actually a slight mirror to how poorly I treated my mental and my body during the times I’ve worked multiple jobs just to stay afloat. 
> 
> You forget a lot and overcompensate a lot. It doesn't need to be like that but sometimes that’s just how life plays out. 
> 
> Don’t forget you have friends and family that can support you, and it’s more than okay to take a break :)
> 
> And dun worrrrry I’ll explain Ahri’s food aversion in another chapter :) stay tuned!  
> //
> 
> Asscanon #40  
> Seraphine cries relatively easily. If it’s a cute dog picture, or a heartfelt story she sees in SNS, she bursts in tears. 
> 
> She’s just a softie like that. And she’s precious. (*cough lowkey me*)
> 
> “Oh my god! Sera! Check out this story about a boy’s attempt to reunite with his pet! And he actually managed to do it!” Akali said and thrusted her phone into Seraphine’s face. 
> 
> “*sniff sniff* I-I lo-love- ha-happy- en-dings…” 
> 
> “Oh geez, quick, dry your tears! Or Kai’Sa would think that I hit you!”
> 
> Or…
> 
> “Seraphine that was amazing.”
> 
> Seraphine was already close to tears over the praise.
> 
> “I… T^T…”
> 
> Asscanon #41
> 
> Evelynn likes to sneak Bao into the office she shares with Ahri. She likes having warmth on her thighs and it's therapeutic to pet his ears while she works.
> 
> Ahri hates it because Bao loves to use her chair legs as a scratching post. 
> 
> “He has a perfectly good scratching post in the living room! Why my chair of all things?!”
> 
> “He’s asserting his dominance. Step it up Foxy.”
> 
> “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
> 
> Asscanon #42
> 
> Ahri teaches Kai’Sa how to play twinkle, twinkle little star. 
> 
> But Kai’Sa wants to take it up a notch!  
> Kai’Sa sneaks in extra practices with Evelynn when Ahri is not at the house for months on end.  
> One day, Kai’Sa surprises Ahri with something a little more complex than twinkle, twinkle little star. 
> 
> Before Stars Sleep
> 
> H-hello? You okay? Did the feels get you? Tell me tell me tell me tell me :3 teehee
> 
> And holy shit...nearly 60 pages. T^T uwu


	13. Midnight Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai’Sa has a monologue. Seraphine spends time with Kahri. Ahri receives a cupcake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Paint Me - Mamamoo
> 
> //TC: Panic attacks 
> 
> Remember my Ahri's is more canonically Korean, so as a leader she has a softer, quieter personality unless the playful side is brought out by her bandmates.
> 
> Also it's formatted to be best read on the phone!

It didn’t even last a week, and not even a day for Kai’Sa to feel the absence of Ahri in her life. Absence was a little bit dramatic, but the void was very clear.

Ahri didn’t return to  their  her bed after the dancer had called Evelynn to help with Ahri’s tears. 

She really didn’t want to drag herself out of bed when she heard her 5:00 A.M alarm go off. The chiming of her phone was a reminder that she would have been up to prepare for breakfast. And that everyone - would at least be attending breakfast. 

But with the situation with Ahri she wasn’t so sure if anyone really wanted to attend breakfast for the general awkwardness that was bound to appear. 

She sat up in bed and rubbed her face in agitation. 

It was either she would hide away or just go throughout the day one step at a time. 

The latter was doable, but if she saw Ahri’s face…

She wasn’t sure if she could keep her composure.

She started her day a little more slowly, taking more time to wash shower, brush her teeth and choose a cozy sweater and leggings. 

She looked outside and saw that it was a dreary day in Seoul. There was fog covering the driveway of their manor. The skies were dark and grey and if she pressed her hands on the glass she would yelp at the icy touch. 

Dreary and cold. 

Kai’Sa shivered, those would be perfect days for Ahri to be wrapped around her bandmates, especially Akali, and just whine about how cold it was. 

Her stomach churned at the thought of Ahri

She thought about their last conversation. 

_ “You and I spent time making this food and you don’t eat? How does that make me feel?”  _

Kai’Sa winced. 

That really did sound so accusatory. 

  
  


**_“Why deny yourself the things that make you function? Food? Water? Sleep?”_ **

**_“You passed out before Ahri - no, you had a panic attack because you had no_ **

**_energy and your mind played games with you.”_ **

****

**_“It was scary the first time Ahri…”_ **

**_“I can’t- I can’t go through that again.”_ **

**_“I think you should go. I can’t see you destroy yourself like this. I can’t see you_ **

**_like this.”_ **

What was the point of all this?

What was the point of Kai’Sa setting herself up to be Ahri’s... _ to be Ahri’s anything _ if she pulled out at the last minute. 

**_“You’re not ready to support her emotionally like that.”_ **

Then why did she bother making those almond cookies that Ahri loved so much?

Why did she bother trying to check in on Ahri everyday since the start of the promotions?

Why try to comfort Ahri when she had her first mandatory rest period? To relay all the events that happened while Ahri was moping. 

Why reach out and touch her?

Why? 

Why? 

Why?

**_Whistleeeeeeee!_ **

The dancer yelped when she heard the sharp screech of the kettle boiling hot water on the stove. She looked down and saw that somehow her body went into autopilot. Her apron already in place, her hands already working on a simple breakfast while the majority of her energy was focused on her thoughts. 

Her hands went to work on simple fried eggs and oatmeal. It would be enough to warm the stomach but not enough to leave their members in a sluggish food coma so early in the morning. 

She thinks about the particular line that Ahri whimpered out.

**“I just...really don’t feel hungry.** **_Food makes me... nervous.”_ **

It was difficult for Kai’Sa to take that news. Food was always a way for her to show how much she cared for others. And Ka’Sa knew that consciously she made more efforts in creating meals that she thinks that Ahri would like. 

Ahri’s taste at best was very simple, but she liked to show her own personal flairs with every dish. 

She knew also consciously that Ahri technically didn’t need to eat much because she was a demoness. The dishes that Kai’Sa would lovingly pour on Ahri’s plate had smaller portions, but presented in a way that showed love and care. 

Food made Ahri nervous, but why was it now that Ahri had a more visceral reaction?

Kai’Sa wasn’t sure. 

She can think of potentially ten reasons why Ahri would suddenly have an aversion to food. 

Seeing the gumiho’s face pinched with nausea, lips curled in a grimace, day after day, hurt her more than Kai’Sa admitted. Seeing the unfinished plate, while everyone had almost wiped theirs clean, with Akali doubly asking for more was just as disheartening. 

The multiple plates that had plastic wrap had piled up in the fridge to the point that Kai’Sa had to throw it out in the garden as fertilizer. She hated wasted food.

And what she hated more was why is it now that she was really affected by Ahri’s ups and downs with food?

Sometimes the gumiho begged for more, even more than Akali. And sometimes she barely ate (much like now, in her lowest of moods). 

She thought of the last time that she had this conversation. 

And her mouth turned into a slight snarl. 

**_“Dad, if you don’t want to eat, just let me know so the food wouldn’t go to waste.”_ **

**** **_“Sorry Kai’Sa...I don’t think my stomach can handle this.”_ **

Her father would give her a regretful look before taking his briefcase from her hand and stumbling out the door into the taxi that she, herself, had called to send her father to work. 

Her breakfast would be left cold on the table, leaving too much for her to eat alone. So she wrapped it in plastic and stowed it away to see that the next day it would be the same thing. 

A kiss on the cheek goodbye and goodnight.

A cold breakfast and dinner on the table. 

Kai’Sa poured her heart out into food, looking for someone to appreciate her cooking. She looked up foods to help ease hangovers and stomachaches, she tried different flavours so that her meals would be both healing and flavorful. 

Despite her father’s drinking habit, she wanted him to at least have a home cooked meal to love.

So that... he can still love her. 

The hole that Kassadin had left behind had been filled with the love and the stomachs of her beloved band. 

The dancer was able to put her heart out, knowing that it would be received. 

And that was it. 

It was as simple as that. 

Kai’Sa sighed again. Her hands worked quickly to plate the breakfast neatly in five plates on the table and a small bowl on the floor for the resident kitty. When she finally finished the meal prep, it was already close to 8:30 A.M. She could feel the slight shuffling upstairs that signaled that at least one of her members is attempting to get started with their day. 

While she waited, she nursed a cup of Oolong tea to slowly pull herself together. She would need the energy to make it through the rest of her day. Whatever the day held. 

Seeing that there was still a bit more time and the food wouldn’t be cold anytime soon, she resumed her earlier thoughts about her father. 

Her father.

_ Kassadin. _

Ahri was  _ not  _ Kassadin.

But Kai’Sa deserted her anyway. Left her leader when she was vulnerable and aching for patience. 

Ahri begged. And Kai’Sa denied her. 

The dancer tried to reason with herself. Had she been patient enough?

_ Maybe? _

_ No? _

_ Yes? _

The questions moved around her mind like concentric circles. If she were to pick one, she eventually finds herself back in the same loop.

And then ultimately those questions circled that one emotion that she had kept under lock and key.

Underneath all the shame, guilt, confusion, and other ugly messy tangled emotion; there was only one.

Anger.

She was angry. 

Angry at her father. 

Angry at Ahri. 

But most of all, she was angry at herself. 

Her issues with her father shouldn’t be added to her new life in K/DA. Her father had been out of her life for too long already. This was on her hands. 

She sipped her tea, letting the hot liquid warm her blood, as the multitude of emotions rolled through her. 

Hearing the phone call rattled her. 

Hearing Ahri pinpoint her fear scared her. 

Hearing Evelynn and Akali’s criticism broke her. 

Kai’Sa hated feeling like some vermin underneath a magnifying glass. Like the rare but cruel dance instructors that had eaten her alive and spat her out like she was nothing. 

While she poured her heart and soul into her craft, parts of her still couldn’t shake the perfectionism that was ingrained into her. She nick-picked Ahri, like how she nick-picked her previous dance partners, like how her old dance instructors did to her.    
  


She couldn’t understand it herself. She had forgotten that she had opened her heart to these women. 

She’d forgotten that they were, most of all, a family. A real family. 

And a family that is painfully flawed beneath the surface. 

Consciously, she knew that it wasn’t the case. Flawed, but that’s what made their bond beautiful. 

Perfectly imperfect. And it was just right. 

She opened up to Akali during her dance lessons. 

She opened her heart to Evelynn when she felt that she was inadequate as a vocalist. 

And she opened up her heart to Ahri whenever she had a nightmare, when her skin felt pricked by needles and glass shards and her heart threatened to escape her chest. 

Kai’Sa frowned. But had she done that for Ahri? Open up?

Hold on. 

She  _ didn’t _ actually. 

The dancer asked Ahri to leave her heart bare to her. However, she hadn’t opened up herself in return. Give and take, and all Kai’Sa did was take in this situation. 

She gave her all to her father. And her father took pieces of her and ran with it chasing the next drunken spell that he loved so much more. 

Was this the opposite?

Just take everything from her vulnerable leader?

She hadn’t shared much with Ahri now that she thought about it. She only really did that with Evelynn and Akali. Especially Akali. 

Other than making food for her or having private moments. 

She hadn’t let Ahri inside her head, her past or her heart completely, but only when she had a nightmare... 

But was that really enough? Could she have done more?

Ahri opened up to her arms. 

Ahri let her touch those sensitive vulpine ears. 

Ahri allowed herself to rest without fear that something was about to get her in the morning. 

Now those mornings wouldn’t return. 

Ahri hadn’t returned to her bed since that fateful night. The gumiho’s absence was more pronounced now that Kai’Sa felt small, even in her own bed. The silk sheets threatened to strangle her as her thoughts swam. 

_ “I like your room better.”  _ Ahri whispered one night. Her tails were wound lazily across their legs. Ahri’s hands were laced into her own. Her head tucked in the small space against her chest. 

Kai’Sa had felt peace. 

Now, all she felt was turmoil.

Evelynn was right. 

She threw it. She threw it away. She threw a budding feeling she had with Ahri out the window. 

All because her mind couldn’t separate well intended concern for frustration and anger. 

Change an alcoholic father for a gumiho who forgets to eat and sleep and her  _ cruel  _ mind told her it was the same thing. 

Her mind knew that Ahri wasn’t like that. 

Ahri didn’t drown her misery in alcohol. 

But her misery turned into creative works, moments of vulnerability, and kisses in private moments. 

Perfectly imperfect, flawed and still simply Ahri. 

She set the mug back on the counter. 

Everyone would be coming down soon. 

Until then...she would have to face Ahri head on. And if the words come, she  _ would  _ apologize. 

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


Breakfast was, as expected, uncomfortable and awkward.

Everyone was deeply aware of it. 

Evelynn was clearly unhappy but kept her glasses on to obscure her expression. 

Akali said nothing and chose to keep her energy in keeping Seraphine occupied. 

Seraphine looked sad, her eyes bobbing back and forth between Kai’Sa and Ahri.

  
Ahri sat by her side looking ragged. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red but she masked it with a smile. 

Kai’Sa wanted to bury her head into the ground at the thought. 

There was really no need to attempt to have a full-tabled conversation. Instead, it was just the two youngest members of the group filling the air. 

“How much you wanna bet that I can handle and can probably out-eat all these wannabe spice tolerant wannabes in a one v. one mukbang spicy ramen challenge?”

“You’re going to poke a hole in your stomach like that.” Seraphine said, her voice concerned as she sipped her coffee. “Even after dad stuffed chiles down my throat, I couldn’t handle all that spicy food.”

“But where’s the fun without a little pain?”

At this phrase, Evelynn laughed darkly. 

Seraphine’s face pinched slightly in disgust. “Oh grosssssss...I wanted eggs and bacon. Not eggs and bacon and a side of BDSM.”

“Seraphine! You’re like a kid!”

Seraphine made no comment at first.

“I literally sleep next to Evelynn’s bedroom. I can hear  _ everything. _ ”

Akali at least had the decency to look bashful. Evelynn on the other hand, just continued to flick casually through her social media accounts.

“Pass the bacon, Starlight.”

And just like that the mood felt alright. 

The one time she was so happy that Akali could run her mouth for such a long time with no preamble. She felt a knuckle bump underneath the table. 

Kai’Sa snorted.

Yeah she totally owed Akali a favour for this. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


“Are you sure Ms. Kai’Sa? Is this the direction that you wanted to take with your song?”

About a day later, Ahri and Kai’Sa had an in person meeting to discuss the production of DRUMS GO DUM. 

The music video had already been approved, but what surprised Ahri and their video director Mr. Song was that Kai’Sa made it clear that she didn’t want to be exclusively in the video itself. 

Instead, she wanted to highlight one of her rising students. Bailey Sok.

“She’s incredibly talented and I think she really shows what I feel is best for the song.” Kai’Sa said with a gentle edge to her tone. It wasn’t often that Kai’Sa spoke up in meetings, but this was her song and she wanted it to be done in her own image. 

Her students deserved a chance to shine and even if she didn’t appear, she’d hope that BLADES were understanding that her teachings are imbued in Bailey’s entire being and that was more than enough for her. 

“I trust Kai’Sa’s vision, let her choose how she does it. And I’m backing it financially, no?”

“Well-“

Kai’Sa turned her head around so fast that she could’ve given herself whiplash. 

“Really?”

Ahri gave her a smile that didn’t really meet her eyes. But it was a smile that showed support. 

“Really.”

Mr. Song sighed and signed his part of the paperwork before making schedules of the timeline. The three of them worked in order to prepare for multiple filmings of VILLAIN, DRUMS GO DUM and I'LL SHOW YOU. 

On top of that, they still had to prepare for their appearance in Shanghai. 

But that was a worry for another day. 

Satisfied that they had finished what needed attention, they had to go continue with their day.

Kai’Sa drove Ahri’s car that day as she remembered that Evelynn firmly pressed the car keys in her hand. 

_ “While I’m still upset, I love you dear Bokkie. Don’t let Ahri drive the car today. She hasn’t slept much.” _

Kai’Sa looked in her peripheral vision to see that Ahri was looking out the window with a blank stare. To think, this particular car ride was just the reverse of what Ahri had done a couple weeks ago. 

But there was no soft kpop on the radio. There were no conversations - not even polite ones - to fill the air. 

She reached over to turn on the radio, slowly putting up the volume so it was audible enough to fill the empty space but low enough to not irritate both of their sensitive ears. 

Kai’Sa looked over again to see that Ahri slumped over a little, as if the tension that she hid in her blank stare finally loosened a little bit of its hold. 

She cracked a smile. 

Small victories.

She knew that they weren’t talking, but right now this was enough. Both of them were semi-comfortable enough to share the space. 

At least, Kai’Sa hoped so. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


**Later that day…**

Kai’Sa just kept her expression serious as she ran through the new choreography. She instead spent the majority of the time with Seraphine and Bailey Sok. As Kai’Sa taught the new choreography to Bailey, she also watched over Seraphine’s progress and self-confidence. Ahri could only watch on with a proud smile. 

Kai’Sa was never one to take too much of the spotlight, she liked sharing it instead. If she could share her student’s talent to the world, the gumiho supported her vision. 

She watched the choreographer herself, and even filmed it for her. Well, more like she hired the best videographer she could find to help meet the vision that Kai’Sa wanted to show. Ahri wanted to protest that Kai’Sa could use more of the money that they had, but decided against it. If Kai’Sa was sure, she would have to honor that. 

Instead she nodded politely, opened her wallet and did what was needed.

She was good at those things. She could be good at those things. 

Kai’Sa on the other hand was hurt and lost. She could feel the level of restraint that Ahri had to put herself through, but she didn’t confront the gumiho about it. 

Ahri was still present for every meal, even impromptu meals in the middle of the dance room. She put on her usual happy, teasing nature. Used her tails to smack Akali playfully on the hip, she made sure that Seraphine and Bailey had enough to eat on their plate before adding to her own. 

“Thank you as always, Kai’Sa, for cooking for us.”

Her eyes bled affection but they wouldn’t linger. Not in the way that they used to.

It was a complete 180 degree turn. It was like she was looking at the Ahri from the POP/STAR age. Silly, kind, but distant. 

Distant.

Just like Kai’Sa asked.

She hated to admit that she missed her private moments with the gumiho.

Now, those eyes wouldn’t linger. They were low and meek. Avoidant. 

If they had to stand next together for some photos to put on Instagram, especially to drop teasers for the album, Ahri actually did ‘manner’ hands.

For the first time since Kai’Sa’s addition to K/DA.

The gumiho’s hand hovered just shy of her lower back, her charming smile plastered for the camera. 

Kai’Sa almost wanted to lean back and let the hand touch her lower back.

She decided against that.

If she asked boundaries from Ahri, she couldn’t cross them herself either. That wouldn’t be fair. 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  


  
  
  
  


“Are you two fighting?” Seraphine asked one evening.

Kai’Sa’s mouth gaped open as they all sat at the dinner table. Akali promptly choked on her rice and Evelynn _ ‘suddenly’ _ had to take a phone call. 

Akali nudges her elbow at Seraphine with a grimace, “Sera jeez, no tact?”

The songstress blinked, “Call it my American... curiosity?”

Kai’Sa sighed as she chewed on her food, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Ahri, who showed no reaction to the question. If anything, she looked slightly amused. 

“No, what brought this on?”

“You’re...you’re not being yourself.” Seraphine asked and then she clarified, “...with each other.”

Kai’Sa really had no answer. It seemed pretty obvious that they were having a small fight. But it was complicated. 

_ It didn’t need to be _ . Her mind mocked her.  _ You’re just a coward.  _

Ahri gave a gentle smile, “Nothing really to worry about. Kai’Sa and I are fine. We’re adjusting to a new routine. Something new.”

Technically that was true. A new routine. One without the normal affection. 

“Okay…”

“Don’t forget to eat,” Ahri said, sliding over more food to Seraphine’s plate.

“But I’m full~” 

“Trust me, you’ll need it. Those 6:00 A.M classes with Kai’Sa will catch up to you. Just ask Akali.”

When Akali finally was able to swallow she looked at Seraphine with a ghostly stare, “Girl, after the first day, I was sure I didn’t have legs.”

“Eeep!”

  
  


  
  
  


//

  
  
  


  
  


“...I’m sorry if I was short with you. Or if the girls keep asking questions.” Kai’Sa said one day when Ahri returned home from her night walk. 

The dancer noticed that lately Ahri had been taking long night walks after dinner. Everyone had at least asked if they could accompany her, but Ahri declined, stating that she had lived long enough to handle something as simple as walking around the block safely. 

Kai’Sa kept the porch light on when she noticed that the hours were slowly creeping closer to midnight. 

When she heard the door creak open, her heart is relieved. She was back. 

The gumiho slipped off her mask and disposed of it in the waste bin that was labeled (fabric masks only), surprised to see the other occupant in the room.    
  


They hadn’t really spoken to each other in the several days since their last encounter. 

Ahri had been quite good at avoiding any instances where she was alone with the dancer, choosing instead to stay close to Seraphine, Akali and Evelynn. 

They were bound to notice.

Ahri knew she was in the kitchen. She bit her lip, she should've had water bottles in her own bedroom. She could have avoided this.

Alone in a room with Kai’Sa.

Just the scent of her was enough to make Ahri whine.

It was no longer grapefruits but of peaches. It made her heart ache. It was as if Kai’Sa had erased what was left of her scent. 

Ahri thought to herself, ‘ _ Nonsense.That’s not how that works. It’s perfectly normal to change shampoos and all of that. It’s not me. And it's not going to be about me.’ _

She could feel the eyes on her as she pulled out a water pitcher. She poured herself a generous amount of water and took her time drinking it. 

The gumiho didn’t want to seem suspicious anyways. 

Ahri mentally checked.

She did eat today. She had breakfast with everyone. She had a takeout with Evelynn. 

It had been 4-5 hours since her last meal, she needed to eat. Especially if Kai’Sa was in the room with her. She goes back into the fridge and her heart throbbed when she saw a plate of food that was wrapped neatly with her name on it. In KaiSa's writing. 

She dragged the plate to the microwave and warmed it up. 

She can tell that Kai’Sa was watching her with caution. 

“It’s quite alright.” Ahri said at last, and sat in front of Kai’Sa. As skittish as she was around the dancer, she wanted to stay in her presence even if she felt undeserving at this current moment. 

Ahri kept her tails down as best as she could. She kept her ears up as tall as she can. She knew that Kai’Sa could tell her expressions due to her vulpine nature. Ahri had a chuckle. She never thought she’d be easily betrayed by them.

She thought she was better at hiding these things. 

“You don’t need to stay so physically distant.” Kai’Sa whispered, but even then the dancer made no move to get closer. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”

Ahri swallowed her food. 

Her throat suddenly felt so dry. 

She wanted nothing more than to curl into Kai’Sa’s strong embrace. To tell her that this week had been hell on her mind. That she was this close to breaking again. 

But from their last conversation, Ahri was sure that Kai’Sa didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to hear about Ahri feeling terrible. She wanted Ahri to be healthy.

She wasn’t healthy yet. And she wasn’t sure when she would be. 

“I need to.” She said with a finality that she wasn’t expecting. “Keep my distance I mean.”

Ahri reached up and her hand hovered above the dancer’s cheek. She wouldn’t touch her. Not unless she was  _ given _ permission. She hoped the lingering heat of her hand was enough.

“I need to because if I give myself permission to want you, to touch you, to need you, it’ll hurt me.”

She pulled away briefly so that she could stow the dishes away in the dishwasher alongside everyone’s used plates. After turning it on, she brewed herself a cup of tea.

She turned to Kai’Sa and she could see that there were tears in those soft purple eyes. Ahri’s heart ached.

She did that.

Again.

She messed up. 

She sat back on the chair and looked at Kai’Sa as best as she could without letting the tears break her even more.

“It’ll hurt me because I’m not...what you’re looking for right now despite the promise. It hurts when you pull away from me and I know it’s at least partly my fault.” 

Ahri closed her eyes. 

She wanted to reach over and take Kai’Sa’s hand to declare her promise. But she didn’t know if her heart could take another rejection like that.

“I need to be disciplined...I need to be...strict with myself because I  _ want _ you. And I haven’t earned that space in your heart. “

Kai’Sa expression looked like she got the wind knocked out of her. The gumiho forced herself to pull away and walked to her bedroom. 

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


**October 1st, 2020**

Ahri kept to her word. 

  
  


There were no hand kisses. There were no more carpools. There were no more instances where Ahri and Kai’Sa were alone. 

Except for cooking meals. 

Ahri helped. Quietly. She didn’t make a face, or at least she tried not to. She kept her eyes respectfully low. Listened to what the dancer told her to do. 

Ahri knew she was the leader, and in other universes she would be demanding respect from all her juniors. But this was not it. She knew she was in rocky waters with Kai’Sa. There was no need to add more ripples to the crashing waves that existed. 

She knew that she was working on herself. However, there was no need for apologies. They had already said what needed to be said. 

So instead the gumiho focused on fixing the other aspects of their friendship.

Be a good leader. Be a kind leader. Be the leader that handles all the weight and takes care of her members. 

But in order to do that, she also needed to think of her health a little bit more consciously. She ate an appropriate amount of food every meal. She ate at least two helpings even if her insides were killing her.

She drank water, she drank coffee (now limited to 1.5 cups a day, with more soy milk than coffee really). 

The insomnia is what threatened to ruin what progress that she has made. It was hard to sleep. Not without someone there. 

She hid it with group naps with Akali but she didn’t want to seem suspicious. She would lie down for a nap, but she would really be trying to claw her eyes out at the thought that she was screwing everything up. First the progress of the album but now it was personal. 

  
  


She worked with Evelynn in her office - she’s actually quite diplomatic whenever Evelynn calls for a stretch break, water break or a snack break. 

Her smiles were plastered and bleeding warmth - but she felt so hollow on the inside. So achingly hollow. 

  
  


No one felt more in the middle than Seraphine. 

It was strange. 

She was just merely a collaborator, but she had grown close to K/DA in the time that she had spent with them. 

Seraphine and Akali had talked during their brief studio break. The rapper had shed some knowledge on their little group that the best way that they could be with each other (in general) was just to show it. 

Unapologetically. 

_ “It’s a lot of attitude and ego and tempers all in one room. But together, we’re making things none of us could do alone. We clash to find the best versions of ourselves.” Akali had said when everyone had reached an impasse during a recording session. _

But with the mix of different energies in the air, Seraphine admitted that it was all getting to her head a little. 

“Ahri-Unnie?”

She knocked on the door to alert the leader of her presence. Bao was cradled in her arms, acting as emotional support. 

If she had to admit, she was still a little nervous talking to Ahri privately. The gumiho was her idol afterall. 

“Enter.”

Seraphine straightened her back and walked inside, greeting the elder woman with a smile. 

The gumiho sat aside her papers and placed a paper weight on top. Just in case Bao decided to hop on high places. 

“Hi Seraphine, what can I do for you?”

“I’m a little nervous. I still can’t find the words.” Seraphine admitted, her thumbs twiddling from her grip on Bao. 

The cat yowled before squirming out her grip and zooming out the office to probably find his favourite scratching post. Kai’Sa. Ahri motioned for Seraphine to take a seat and appraised the younger songwriter. 

“I feel like I’m getting stressed out! I’ve been having a hard time sleeping too, the lyrics never fit right. It doesn’t feel good enough. I don’t feel good enough yet. And everyone is already watching me. ” The young songstress’s voice reached a shrill as her rant continued.

Ahri pursed her lips. It was like looking into the mirror. 

_ ‘Shit.’ _

“It’s been some time since the reveal. Netizens are eating me alive. They’re calling me names and sending me death threats. I’m just trying to make music with some of my favorite artists.”

Seraphine sniffed, “This is so hard, I don’t know if I can do this Ahri-unnie.”

Ahri reached over and handed the younger girl a napkin to dab her eyes. Hearing the vulnerability that was spilling from her lips sent daggers to her heart. 

Ahri could pinpoint exactly when she had felt the same way. 

It was when she was a song away from walking off to reinvent her image. Despite the sweet saccharine lyrics that she had grown accustomed to, she began to feel numb the more she sang. 

_ “Cute is boring,”  _ Evelynn had once told her.  _ “With the lives that we lived, we are past the drab of bubblegum pop lyrics.”  _

The songs that she had written were good, but it really was a shard of the genius that she knew was beneath her fingertips. 

The stress was blocking Seraphine’s natural flow, and thankfully for Ahri she knew exactly what she could do to help. 

“There might be a way to help. Let’s try to talk to Kai’Sa.”

Seraphine looked disappointed in her response but Ahri gave a comforting pat on her shoulder. 

“Kai’Sa is a life saver. I was - no I’m still going through a rough time.”

Seraphine blinked. “I know… I saw how it got to you. It’s awful.”

“It can be awful. But it doesn’t have to be with the right support group. I was getting overwhelmed and I panicked. And she brought me out. She brought me back. And I think she is the perfect person to talk to. Or we can go other routes like a professional. We’re here to help you.”

Ahri tilted Seraphine’s chin so that they were eye to eye at last.

“You’re already doing great by at least reaching out. That alone is enough for me. Kai’Sa unfortunately is out to film. How about we ask her in a day or two?”

The younger girl nodded. A sisterly smile graced Ahri’s lips. 

“And how about we go raid Akali’s ramyun stash and let’s watch some of your trashy American T.V shows?”

“Ahri-unnie, they’re not  _ that _ trashy…”

“I beg to differ.”

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


**October 3, 2020**

  
  


Kai’Sa was surprised to see both Ahri, Seraphine and Bao at her studio. The younger of the two was hiding behind Ahri, akin to a little kid going to her first day of kindergarten alone. 

She smiled warmly as she addressed her leader. 

“Hi Ahri. Hi Seraphine. What brings you to the studio?”

“Can we talk?” Ahri asked, while nudging Seraphine to at least put her bags down and get to stretching. 

“Sure.”

When they were some distance away, Ahri relayed a bit of what was going on. 

“Can you help Seraphine try some of your breathing exercises?” Ahri asked, eyeing the younger girl from over Kai’Sa’s shoulders. 

“She doesn’t know how to ask how to deal with the stress. She might just ask for dance lessons instead.”

_ ‘That sounds like someone I know. And I’m looking at her.’ _ Kai’Sa thought. Her mind was simply stating facts. Ahri doesn’t know how to ask, which was ironic and funny in a weird sad way.

She raised her eyebrow. “Something going on?”

“Saesangs are nasty to her. And she’s overwhelmed. I think she’d be in better hands in how to cope with some of her worries.”

Ahri shrugged and gave her a soft smile. 

“Afterall, you’ve helped me. I don’t want her...I don’t want her to suffer like how I did when I first became a popstar.”

“Okay. Just an hour or two, and then I have to record for a class.” Kai’Sa said, her tone a little awkward, unsure how to press the conversation further.

“Thank you.” Ahri said with gratitude, her hands clasping in front of her in a small bow. “I’ll help make dinner at seven?” 

“You know you don’t have to anymore.” Kai’Sa said sadly as she averted her gaze. She really hoped that Ahri would still help. Even if it was only at this capacity. 

Ahri's smile faltered slightly, the tail swishing behind her, “I’d like to. It helps. It helps me not...work so much.”

“Okay, see you tonight.”

And she turned to finally teach Seraphine. From her many mirrors she could see Ahri’s tail swish back and forth, as if happy that they received the biggest treat ever.

_ ‘Cute.’ _

  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


When Ahri checked her hidden Twitter account the following day, she sighed in relief when she saw the latest post. 

[ **@seradotwav** ](https://twitter.com/seradotwav)

  1. **i think i'm learning :')**



  
  


Kai’Sa got through to her.

And she was happy that if it couldn’t be herself, that there was someone else that can help a young mind make it through those rough waters of idol life. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**October 8th, 2020**

  
  


Seraphine and Ahri spent the next three to four days working on her single. Ahri, being the good leader that she is, wanted to help support the younger girl’s budding singing career. 

But they were both in a rut. 

Ahri with her feelings. 

Seraphine with her writing. 

“Why does writing lyrics have to be so hard?” The younger of the two whined out loud, making wringing motions with her hands like she wanted to choke out the writer’s block if it manifested into a real person. 

“Sometimes it’ll come easy. Sometimes it won’t.” Ahri said, tossing her notebook to the side. She rolled over so that her tail could freely swish in the air. 

“How about we put a list of things we like? And a list of things that we can hope to overcome?”

“I thought you already had your song finished unnie.” Seraphine toyed with her guitar. If she couldn’t write anything right now, at least she could jam a couple chords and notes and hoped it sparked that one brain cell that she had that could force her to write good lyrics. 

Ahri sighed and pulled Bao closer to her chest, “I scraped it. It was too much like my old stuff. Turns out whenever someone else wrote my songs, I tried to emulate their work and not my own.”

“Unnie, so a list then?”

“I like...

Seraphine coughed, “Kai’Sa!”

Ahri turned around and glared at the songstress, “What was that?”

“I know you care for her…”

“Akali is  _ definitely  _ rubbing off on you. Going to give her the worst ear tug she ever felt. Mark my words.” Ahri grumbled. But she didn’t deny the comment.

“So you don’t deny it?”

“It’s not like I hid how much I do. I just like having private moments. Unlike Evelynn and Akali. Sex fiends, the lot of them.”

Seraphine blushed, knowing fully the shenanigans that came with having a bedroom next to Evelynn’s.

“Still not hard to notice how much you care for her.”

Ahri’s ears flattened against her head, “Kai’Sa and I just need some time to work out whatever we have to deal with. And I need to work out some things on my end in particular.”

“Does this include your days of being a teenage popstar?”

Ahri bobbed her head side to side, mulling over how to respond to such a question. Quite frankly, it was refreshing that someone as young as Seraphine was asking some pretty blunt questions. 

“A little bit.” She put air quotes in the air, “‘Teenage Pop-Star Ahri’ is a pretty small time period in comparison to the other things that I’ve been. But all in all, every persona of me has baggage that I haven’t quite put to rest quite yet.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that.” Seraphine muttered, pouting as she did so. “I think everyone suffers too much baggage.”

“We’re not perfect. But we’re trying.” Ahri said sagely, patting Seraphine on top of the head.

As if lightning struck Seraphine, she jumped up and dove for Ahri’s notebook.

“I got it!”

Ahri’s ears perked in amusement as she saw Seraphine completely ignore her presence and focused on the paper in front of her. 

Her hands made a flurry of scratches on the paper, the gumiho was a little worried that the pen would stab through the paper. 

But she knew better than to interrupt the flow of a flurry of thoughts. Instead she took a seat behind Seraphine and pulled Bao into her lap. Her eyes a quiet vigil over the songwriter as the daylight hours slipped into the evening. 

The following day, they were able to complete the newest singles to add to Seraphine’s discography. 

**Seraphine: The Starry-Eyed Songstress**

_ The lines begin to show, when we feel broken _

_ To move on we have, to drop the pieces we're holding _

  
  


She wiped away a stray tear as the lyrics brought up emotions that she was barely tucked away. 

  
  


_ And no one is perfect _

_ You don't need to be strong, every single day _

_ No one really knows along the way _

_ That the best things in life won't be, perfect anyway _

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


It was after writing the lyrics of “I’LL SHOW YOU’, her own ballad, and farewell to her past, that Ahri felt that her world was balancing on a trip wire. She and Seraphine had reworked the majority of the lyrics to fit more of the uplifting pop song. Not bubble gum. Not cutesy. But to show the figure and the growth that Ahri had done since her time as teenage popstar. 

And if those who truly knew her, it was her growth from her time in antiquity. 

She was in her office, her fingers shaking to write her signature as she signed over the rest of the production process to her managers and collaborating producers at Riot Entertainment. 

“E-Ev-Evelynn.”

“Ahri?”

“I-I t-th-hink I’m-I’m at-” The gumiho choked, holding her chest. “It’s ge-getting so hard to breathe.”

Evelynn cleared her papers and ran to Ahri’s side. She brought the gumiho to the floor and hugged her. To her credit, Ahri didn’t fall into a full blown panic attack. But she laid there in her friend's arms, panting, trying to get her heart to steady.

“Breathe, inhale for two counts. Exhale for two counts. There we go. That’s it.”

“I think I’m getting too good at hiding.” Ahri wheezed, when she was able to catch her breath, her hands shaking as she gripped Evelynn’s shirt. 

Her vision was littered with dark spots as she rested her sweaty forehead against Evelynn’s cool skin. 

“What do you need?”

“N-no...I just. She-she can’t-see me-me like this...she-can’t she can’t.” 

“We need to see a doctor.” Evelynn said sternly. 

The gumiho nodded only once and appointments were arranged. 

Ahri hated hospitals. She was deeply aware of the down-right deviant taste of those who would love nothing more than to poke and prod at her extra appendages. There was a reason that she hired the best of security and had them vetted numerous times and recycled to avoid familiarity and the loosening of physical boundaries. 

Her ears and tails were not toys to be played at. Nor would they be used for someone else’s sick fantasies. 

While she knew that BLADES respected that much, there are those that really liked to stray on the edge of obsession. 

The charm that she has was particularly helpful. It helped avoid unnecessary questions with a simple whisper and an air-kiss. Other than that, it was a skill that she hasn’t used in quite some time.

_ ‘Diagnose me. Do not touch my tail or ears. You will forget this encounter after we leave this room. Understood? _ ’

  
  


  
  


//

  
  
  


  
  


Ahri fiddled with the pills in her hand.

It was anti-anxiety meds for her panic disorder. 

After spending centuries on this Earth, it was only up to now that she had a name to the ratting that she felt in her bones. 

A panic disorder. 

She wanted to call bullshit. Quite frankly. 

If it was as simple as that, she would be suffering hysteria as well. Now that she thought about it, it may not be too far of a stretch. 

Bringing the bottle to her forehead, she sighed pitifully. Luckily for her, it was just for a trial period according to the physician. And she needed to talk to someone at least once a week. 

Evelynn and Ahri were able to hide Ahri’s identity so that her information wouldn’t be leaked to the public. So they chose an alias to hide behind for now until Ahri could feel better. 

“Seo Joohyun.”

Take these medicines twice a day with a full meal. Until the medication can be adjusted to fit her needs. This would have to do.

Ironically, medicines didn’t work in the traditional sense on gumihos.

So, the intense highs and the intense lows came with the unfortunate price of being immortal. Pills, hallucinogens, at times alcohol...it would do nothing for her. 

Either she turns them off and be a feral monster. 

Unfeeling, dangerous…

She would ride every emotional wave out, no matter if the emotion lingered for days, weeks, years, centuries.

After their appointment, Ahri and Evelynn had spent some time tucked away in a private villa on Jeju Island, away from the manor for a day or two. 

It was a lot to drop on the gumiho in such short notice. The news of her diagnosis was enough to put Ahri in a darker pensive mood. Ahri admitted it was best that she would take at least a day or two away from K/DA manor to really sift out her emotions. As if the diagnosis was the blow to her already fraying hold on denial. 

Not that Akali, Seraphine or even Kai’Sa would be unsympathetic. It was just she needed some time away from prying eyes just for now. 

They had messaged the group, warning their younger members not to cause shenanigans that would wind up on the front page. 

Evelynn was greeted with a flurry of crying emoji faces from her girlfriend, a smirking emoji from Seraphine (surprisingly) and a teary-eyed emoji from Kai’Sa.

For the brief time that they were away, Ahri had been spending time meditating in a nearby temple, trying to cope with the multitude of emotional tolls that she experienced. 

Evelynn due to her Christian “upbringing”, respectfully kept her distances from the temple walls and chose to update the rest of the band on the day to day shenanigans at the island. 

During the day, the two would spend time basking soaking up the rays of the sun, Ahri chanting quietly to herself, while Evelynn acting as a watchful shadow from a distance away. The succubus read something along the lines that exposure to bright light could help as a more holistic approach to Ahri’s condition. 

It seemed to help. Ahri’s expression was less gaunt and haunted by the time she had finished. 

The night would be spent with the two members taking long walks through the night till the sun rises. 

“How do you feel now?” Evelynn asked as they boarded their private jet.

“A little bit more at peace.” Ahri shivered at the cool air. “I don’t suddenly feel like spiraling into the sun because all noises in my head are so loud.”   
  


She curled her hand around Evelynn’s, squeezing it enough to let her know that she was grateful. 

“One day at a time love.”

Ahri chuckled. 

“Yeah...one day at a time.”

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


Ahri had to admit, it was hard taking it day to day. Being the planner that she usually was, it was not to treat her condition as something that could be accomplished in the long-term. Quite literally she had to sit with her emotions, day to day.

At least for now. 

From what her physician had warned, she needed to be more mindful about her environment so that she could avoid potentially triggering situations. 

Irony. 

Underneath the charm, the physician wouldn’t have known any better. It was also a no brainer that life as a popstar was a bundle of stress.

The hours spent in the studio. 

The raw voices and aching hands and feet. 

The eyes that blurred under the flashing lights. 

She would have to make do. The pandemic was a slight blessing in disguise in that way. She didn’t need to worry about the roaring crowds, cramped hallways, and intrusive radio show hosts. K/DA was able to operate safely and quietly through their own means and even through the comfort of their own home. 

Even if she could micromanage everything (which she normally does anyway), she knew logically it was bound to catch her off guard at any moment.

It was after the final filming shoot of I’LL SHOW YOU.

Ahri could feel the tremors that crawled up and her spine. She spent a lot of time writing out her lyrics. 

It spoke about her pain. 

It spoke about her loneliness. 

It was really a time for just her. 

But the filming was completed seamlessly. Or was it her mind forcing her to not linger on the day’s filming. 

She could feel her mind slowly slipping into the void again. 

Her hands fumbled for the anti-anxiety meds that she kept in her purse. 

“Ahri.”

It was Kai’Sa.

Kai’Sa looked at her worriedly, her hands just shy of touching Ahri to bring her back to the waking world. The dancer kept her distance because she knew that when Ahri was spaced out, she didn’t want to be touched. 

“Evelynn sent me to come get you, she’s in the car. Are you ready to - ?”

Ahri dropped her purse.

Kai’Sa, to her credit, didn’t laugh when she knew she spooked the gumiho, Instead she slowly bent down to help pick up the fallen items. 

Predictably, a cracked iPhone, a shade of lipgloss, some makeup wipes, eyelash curler - her eyes honed in on an orange bottle, now on the floor opened and with little pebble-like pills littering the hallway. 

Ahri nervously picked up all her medication that scattered on the floor and tried to stuff them back in the bottle.

“Ahri...what is this?”

Curses escaped her lips.

In her shock of Kai’Sa finding out about her medication, she jumped and slammed her back against the nearest wall and held her heart. 

“No! No no no no no no no no no no! She-she can’t-can’t see. She can’t see…”

Kai’Sa was terrified, Ahri never looked so scared. So scared of her.

“Ahri…” 

Her hands were up in surrender. Ahri closed her eyes, sunk to the floor and rocked on her heels. She cupped her head, hands covering her vulpine ears and screamed. 

“Evelynn!”

The garage door swung open. The loud slam was enough to make Kai’Sa’s pods raise in alarm and in came Evelynn looking murderous.

“Ahri!” 

The succubus went to her, using her frame to cover the gumiho.The lashers up and were ready to attack.

“I-I wasn’t going to hurt her!”

Evelynn turned to her and her eyes were in slits.

“Back away Kai’Sa. Back away!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


Since when did she take pills?

Evelynn came out of the bedroom looking exhausted. 

“What happened!”

“Ahri-Ahri is sick.”

Kai’Sa frowned. “That’s not a good enough answer.”

“She’s already getting treatment, that's all you really need to know.” Evelynn sighed as she directed Kai’Sa to move toward the direction of the dancer’s room. 

“She asked me to. She knew you’d worry.”

“Of course I worry! When did I stop?!”

Evelynn's eyes glowed in warning. 

“Because you’ll care and then you’ll drop like you did when she gets better. News flash Kai’Sa, she will relapse every now and again and this time she doesn’t have you. She has me.”

Kai’Sa blanched. She breathed slowly, trying to not let her emotions get the better of her. She could do this, she could stand up to the DIVA without losing a finger. She can do that. 

“I’m not trying to get back at her for that. She just had another panic attack in front of me Evelynn!”

“And I’m making sure she gets treated. That’s it. She’s been good at taking her medicine and eating and sleeping. I’m her keeper. That’s my job.”

Kai’Sa wanted to protest. 

“Your job my dear...”

A sharp poke to the collarbone. 

“...your job is to not make her day any harder than it is. She’s seen how you’ve treated her and she knows that you would rather see her happy than when she’s sick.” 

Kai’Sa felt the words to her core, more painful than the jabs she felt in her collar. It only made it more difficult to swallow. 

“Pretend you didn’t see anything. Pretend so she doesn’t have to worry about you seeing her weak ever again.”

And with that Evelynn stalked off to her bedroom.

Kai’Sa sighed and tugged the collar of her shirt to loosen the tightness that she felt in her chest. 

“She does have me. I can be in her corner too.” Kai’Sa whispered to herself as she stared back at Ahri’s closed door. 

  
  


“Fuck.”

  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


Later that evening, she prepared a tray filled to the brim with a compress, hot soup, tissues, water bottles and diluted tea. When she handed the tray to Evelynn, the dancer blushed when the succubus planted a kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you for doing this Bokkie.” She said as she went to Ahri’s room, closing it gently behind her. 

Akali and Seraphine were notified and the maknae duo wanted to do something about this. There was ultimately nothing they could do at the moment. Instead they pre-occupied themselves with creating catchy beats, or practicing their set for their concert in Shanghai for Worlds 2020. 

Akali wriggled her keys to her motorcycle in front of Kai’Sa and Evelynn (who now returned back to the kitchen, with an empty tray).

“Going to take Seraphine out for a drive. Do what you need to for Ahri-unnie. I trust you both.”

And then off she went with Seraphine in tow. 

The other two sat in awkward silence for a while, the only noise between them was the kettle on the stove bubbling quietly. 

“Alright, I’ll take a long bath. Can you check on her?”

“I thought you didn’t want me around her.” Kai’Sa said quickly, almost bitter. 

Evelynn clicked her tongue before giving her a wry smile, “You and I care about her. That’s all that matters. I may be cruel but I’m just as protective. But I do need a bath and she needs some company until I’m done. Go on now.”

As she walked away, Evelynn cupped Kai’Sa’s cheek. 

“I do _ love you _ Bokkie. I’m sorry for being so harsh. I know you care, I just...get tunnel vision especially when it comes to Ahri.”

Kai’Sa nodded and sniffed a little. She wasn’t expecting an apology so soon. Deep down, she knew that both their hearts were in the right place when it came to their leader. 

“Love you too Evelynn.”

The succubus gave her another kiss on the cheek before strutting off to the bath. 

Kai’Sa then found herself standing in front of Ahri's bedroom. Her hand reached for the door knob. The pods hovering above her shoulders chimed as they prodded her to open the door. 

She decided against it. 

What she had done all day was think of nothing about Ahri and that lone orange bottle. If she had to guess...those won’t actually work. If her assumptions were correct...they would be acting in a weird twisted way, like a placebo effect. 

What was Ahri supposed to do if she had anxiety?

She shook her head. 

Evelynn told her that she was Ahri’s keeper. 

That didn’t sit well with her. Frankly, it made her upset. Evelynn gave her an out. That the role of caring for Ahri or to a degree showering her with love and affection will be Evelynn’s role. 

Then what would Kai’Sa’s role be in her life?

Just the dance choreographer? Just the chef? Just their resident dreamer?

Those were empty titles. It was empty. Dancing filled her soul, she was called their dance choreographer for a reason. 

But it didn’t warm her. When she held Ahri to her chest,  _ that  _ warmed her. 

“God damn it...I’m such a fool. Okay you got this. Let’s go.”

She knocked first to alert her presence, her knuckles tapping the door a little more firmly than usual. 

“Ahri...it’s Kai’Sa. I’m coming in.”

She opened the door to see that the room was dimly lit save for the white lights of the T.V flickering on the farthest wall. 

“Hey…”

Ahri was propped against her head board. Her eyes were glued to the T.V on the other side of the room. At her feet laid Bao, who was apparently keeping Ahri’s toes warm. Her heart felt a surge of relief at the sight. 

She was awake. Surprisingly. 

Kai’Sa was worried that she would feign sleep to avoid her. But the dancer knew better. 

She wouldn’t avoid her. That was not Ahri’s style. At least not now. 

Kai’Sa felt gutted at the thought. She shuffled closer to the bedside, slowly. 

The gumiho still greeted her with a smile. Though her eyes dimmed slightly, they still carried warmth.

She shuffled closer to the bedside, slowly. 

“Hi Kai’Sa.”

“Hey Ahri.” She returned the smile, despite the pangs that she felt in her heart “How are you feeling?”

Ahri was bundled up in an oversized sweater. From the size and the colours, black and grey with a splash of neon paint, it was clearly Akali’s. The rest of the gumiho’s body was tucked neatly in bed. In her hands was her phone and the other was the remote for her T.V. Her stomach lurched a little. Ahri wasn’t wearing her sweater. 

“A little cold actually.” Ahri admitted, her ears flickering up and down to emphasis how the draft she felt affected her extra appendages.

Kai’Sa couldn’t see why, the room itself was actually cozy. The heater was on at full blast. It was comfortable enough to be walking around in shorts and tank tops. And it wasn’t like it costed the gumiho and the succubus a pretty penny for the electricity bill.

“Cold.” Kai’Sa muttered unsure, picking at her fabric of her tank top nervously, “Would you like another blanket?”

Ahri’s mouth opened like she wanted to say something. But then decided against it. 

“I’ll probably text Akali to come cuddle with me when she comes back. She gives good warm hugs for a little while.”

“I can keep you company till them.” Kai’Sa blurted. It was reflexive. Or was it guilt?

Ahri's eyes were misty, “No it’s okay.”

“I really can.” The dancer insisted. 

“I’ll be okay.” There was now a strained smile on her face. That level of discomfort sent daggers to the dancer’s heart. 

Had Ahri always hidden that expression away from her?

They were always close. 

Now there was this fault.

Kai’Sa wanted to slap herself in the face.

She did this. 

She thought about what she had done. 

She thought of Evelynn’s warning. her  _ job,  _ her relationship with Ahri had to be stress-free. That she was supposed to pretend that she didn’t see Ahri have another panic-attack. And that she couldn’t comfort her in the way that she should’ve.

Did she turn a blind eye?

Did she choose to ignore the obvious signs that Ahri was suffering?

She knew she was not responsible for Ahri’s physical and mental constitution. 

_ But she could’ve helped.  _ Her mind toyed with her. 

She had to shove the toxic part of her mind away. 

No. 

If it meant that their relationship had to take a nose-dive for them to sort out their own priorities. It would have to be that way. The dancer wished it didn’t have to be painful though. 

The two of them didn’t need to suffer anymore.

Kai’Sa stared at Ahri’s bedroom. As neat as it was, there was something missing in it. 

Other than photos of everyone, it was relatively bare. 

Perfumes and makeup neatly tucked away in drawers, there were no signs of clothes on the floor. If anything, there was just a mess of tissues that Kai’Sa could ‘hopefully’ guess was just a cold and not because of tears. 

It could use something. Something a little more homey.

“I’ll just grab another one from the closet for you and Akali just in case.”

She left the room momentarily to grab a blanket from the spare closet. It wasn’t so thick, but it had a nice plush feel for it. When she returned to the room, she could see that Ahri hadn’t moved from her spot. Kai’sa placed the folded blanket just within reach, happy to see that Ahri did reach for it and wrap the material around her like a blanket cape.

“Thank you.”

“Always.”

Vulpine ears perked up at the sound of the garage door opening. There was the sound of pounding footsteps, followed by the sound of a heavy-handed knock.

“Unnie! Ready for movie night?” The muffled voice was Akali. 

“Nae!”

When Akali walked in, she was surprised to see both her members in the same room without tears in their eyes. Either way she smiled, dopey and wide as always. The rogue dived quite literally into Ahri’s bed, bouncing the leader as she did so. 

Kai’Sa was about to tell Akali to be careful but decided against it. She had no right. She watched as the two giggled and snuggled closely, preparing for the night in. It made her happy that she saw Ahri smile even if it wasn’t directed to her. She didn’t announce her departure, closing the door behind her quietly as she heard the squeals and screams that came from the bedroom. 

At least for tonight, Ahri was in the safe embrace of someone else. 

And even then, her heart twinges with regret.

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


**October 10th, 2020.**

  
  


It was the night of their second to last dress rehearsal before flying to Shanghai.

Ahri had already sent Seraphine and Akali home with Evelynn. 

Kai’Sa muttered something about wanting to nail one last move. 

Ahri was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall. She sighed at the feeling of aches setting in after a hard day of practice. 

Instead of the dread that she expected to feel over the looking performance, she was excited. If only her muscles could agree with her. 

She stretched her legs out and reached for her ankles, letting her chest rest comfortable against her thighs. She breathed deeply, letting the stretch tug at aching muscles. Her tail acted as another pushing force as she continued to stretch in multiple angles. 

When she finished, she leaned against the wall and watched silently as the hums of the bass echoed across the room. The lights had been changed to a stunning low blues and purples. 

Kai’Sa was going through her runs, stunning. 

Ahri smiled. 

She really did look beautiful. 

She was glad their relationship had at least been healed enough to sit in the same room without wanting to hide. 

Kai’Sa stretched and sat next to Ahri leaning on the wall. 

They both had some space between them. 

“Ready to go home?” Ahri asked quietly. 

Kai’Sa rested her cheeks on her knees, looking to Ahri at her left. 

“Not yet. I kinda want to just sit here.”

Ahri giggled. She reached for her phone with her left hand to mindlessly search for a song to play to fill the room. 

Seeing that the mood of the room was a little soft, she picked a familiar song. 

It was cute and light-hearted. Surely not for the cutest of vibes. 

Ahri hummed the song out as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall while using her right hand to keep her propped upright.

She knew she could feel Kai’Sa’s gaze, but she didn't want to ruin the moment. 

She felt a warmth closer to her hand. 

Ahri stilled as a finger wraps around her pinky. It was curled, while her own pinky remained outstretched, unsure to reciprocate. 

Ahri’s eyes blinked open. She looked to her left to see Kai’Sa’s face buried in her free arm that was braced on her knees. She had to bite back a smile when she saw the subtle redness that was creeping up the dancer’s exposed neck and ears. 

Her heart pounded and the gumiho could feel the affection through such a subtle touch.

She felt her eyes brimming with tears. 

God. 

She wiped her tears with her left hand as the music played in the background. 

“Can I have this?” A muffled voice came from her right. 

There was a small whimper.

“Please?”

On her end, Kai’Sa’s kept her eyes closed, not wanting to look at Ahri’s direction. She was unsure if she could take the pain of rejection. 

She asked. She asked and wow she never hated for a response more than she did than at this current moment. She could feel the heat burning her ears and her neck. God, she hoped that Ahri couldn’t see. 

Her heart pounded against her ribcage. She willed herself to not rip her pinky away from Ahri’s soft ones. 

Slight pressure. 

She peeked and looked down. 

Ahri’s own pinky curled into her own. 

Her heart finally relieved. 

They would be alright. 

As long as she could hold Ahri like this. 

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


**December 14th, 2020**

  
  


It was Ahri’s birthday.

Another year to spend living. 

The MORE album came out.

Their Shanghai performance and post-interviews had mixed reviews but the most understanding of BLADES knew that because of the pandemic, it couldn’t be helped. Production was low and lighting and social distancing made it difficult to perform without apprehension.

Ahri remembered that she had to bear a strong smile as she held Akali and (surprisingly) Kai’Sa’s hands as they walked through a still crowded terminal and an even more crowded stadium. 

Evelynn had yelled more times this year than she had in several years over the state of how some of their venue managers handled the safety of the crew. 

Seraphine asked to chill with K/DA a little longer. 

VILLAIN came out.

DRUMS GO DUM came out.

I’LL SHOW YOU came out.

She managed. She  _ finally _ managed to make it to the end of promotions. 

For now at least, now it was time for the clothing line promotions with Elle, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Gucci (anything that required their name to be attached, but they had at least a two week rest period).

Ahri had spent a majority of her time in the living room, trying to practice her meditation. The medications, while useless to gumihos, had acted as placebos. If she thought that it worked, therefore it would work. 

She took them dutifully with every meal and no complaint. 

She was sleeping a little better now. But she chalked it up to being busy again. Evelynn had been good at keeping her in check but even her friend could only do so much.

Her soul felt a little more tired. Whatever apprehension she felt with Kai’sa was nothing but a dull ache. 

She missed her. But there was nothing that could be done right now. 

Ahri still looked in the mirror and asked herself.  _ “Is this someone I would date?” _

Day after day, she found herself saying no.

But today was her birthday. 

Today she was going to be much kinder to herself. 

She already messaged everyone that she wanted to spend the day to herself mostly. That they could all celebrate on the weekend. 

Everyone seemed okay with it. It was what Ahri really wanted. Birthdays were overwhelming and a little overrated anyways, at least to someone who is immortal.

Ahri went into the kitchen to brew some chamomile. She was still restless. Kai’Sa hadn’t returned to the manor for quite some time. But Ahri takes it as a win because Kai’Sa greeted her with a ‘Happy Birthday’ earlier that morning before going to the studio. The dancer had mentioned that she had a class to teach or something like that.

That was all she needed. That even for a day, Kai’Sa could tolerate her existence.

She waited for the kettle to make the shrill noise that it normally did. 

There was a soft knock and Ahri turned to see Kai’Sa coming round from the corner. The dancer gave a shy smile and equally shy wave. 

“Hi…You have a minute?”

Ahri smiled at her, her heart skipping a beat. The beginnings of a whistle tone told her that the kettle was done. She nudged her head to let Kai’Sa come into the kitchen and poured the two of them some tea. 

“You’re still up?” Ahri asked politely, taking a small sip. 

Polite. Polite was good. That was safe. That was safe, neutral territory. 

She could do that. 

“Did you get what you wished for?”

“Yes. Everyone in K/DA is home safe, healthy and happy.”

“Not  _ another  _ designer bag from our many sponsors?”

Ahri cracked a smile. Kai’Sa always knew how to get her to smile. “Not today no. Just that everyone here is safe and that it stays that way. ”

“It’s a simple wish. That's so like you.” Kai’Sa said softly before tapping her hands on the table like a mini-drumroll, “I got something for you. Can I give it to you?”

Ahri shook her head, crossing her arms like an X over her chest. “I told everyone in K/DA no gifts.”

Kai’Sa sat across from her and gave her a charming smile. “Indulge me.”

“Okay…”

Kai’Sa pulled from her jacket one small package. Inside was a small orange cupcake.

In neat loopy cursive scrawls it read.

_ HBDAhri! _

It was a small cupcake with a silly fox on it. The fox was waving and it had its tongue sticking out. Ahri giggled and wiped a stray tear.

“Thank you Kai’Sa, this looks lovely.”

“Try it, if not we can store it away for another day.” Kai’sa said gently, pulling the cupcake away. Ahri looked up to see that Kai’Sa’s expression wasn’t frustrated or upset or any other description that said that she was inconvenienced by the gumiho’s lack of appetite. 

Instead, it was an understanding gaze. There was no hidden agenda. 

Ahri reached out to tap the box. “I’ll have a bite. If I don’t eat it now, Akali would.”

Kai’Sa frowned, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

The gumiho peeled back the wrapping and took a small bite to the soft cake. 

Her fangs sank quickly, causing her to moan in delight. It was squishy, just like how she liked her cakes. The buttercream tickled her upper lip as she pulled her mouth away, leaving a crater behind and messing up the poor foxy’s face. 

She chewed, letting the flavors roll over her tongue. It was Red Velvet, a cake that she had recently started to like while they were in ShangHai. Ahri could’ve sworn that she only maybe mentioned it once, but Kai’Sa managed to keep it in her memory for at least a month. 

The buttercream wasn’t as flavorful, which must have meant that Kai’Sa had to wean off the ingredients to not overwhelm heightened senses. 

She melted at the thought. 

It was sweet. 

It was delicious. 

She ate it all. 

Kai’Sa had a pleased smile, her hands clapping in delight, “Oh thank goodness.”

“It’s really good.” Ahri mumbled as she drank the tea to help digest it better, “Honestly, your food always surprises me.”

The dancer shrugged, her face still showing that charming easy-going smile, “Food is my love language.”

Before Ahri can comment on it, Kai’Sa left the kitchen and then came back with a medium sized box. 

Ahri’s ears swiveled in confusion, “I thought I said no gifts.”

“Open your other gift. I think you’ll love it.”

Ahri peeled back the paper gently and removed the top of the cardboard box. 

It was a small plush fox toy. No bigger than a Pomerianian, perfect to be held at the waist. The face was enormously wide and had a foxy blep to it. Ahri cooed at the sight. 

It was so cute. Ahri held it in between her hands. Her fingers squeezed it and she sighed happily. 

It was soft. 

She liked soft things. 

When was the last time she had a toy?

Her expression darkened. Not since her childhood, which she barely remembered. That must’ve been ages ago by now. She had been on this Earth for so long, and she can barely remember - 

“Ahri?”

“Sorry...it’s just something in my mind popped up.” Ahri brought the toy to her face and rubbed her cheek on it.

A small purr escapes. 

It smelled like peaches and grapefruits. Oh no, the tears were coming back. 

“Thank you…” Ahri said shakily, setting the toy on her lap and petting it lovingly. “I love it.”

Kai’Sa eyes were patient, almost expecting Ahri’s reaction from the beginning. 

“Did it bring back a memory?”

Ears folded against her scalp. 

“A little bit.”

Kai’Sa petted the plush toy. 

“We can talk about it?”

Ahri bit her lip. Eyes darting back and forth. 

“I-I-I...you don’t have to listen.” Ahri said, wiping away a tear. “It’s nothing.”

Kai’Sa tugged on the toy fox tail in an attempt to keep Ahri at her seat. 

“I want to be a better person for you.” Kai’Sa said, “And I haven’t been. I can listen if you’d like me to.”

Ahri was unsure. Her instincts were telling her to run. Run and hide. 

“...I just didn’t have toys growing up. That’s all.” She blurted out. 

The dancer knew there was more to the story, but given their situation, now wasn’t the best time to pry. Kai’Sa smiled. “Well, now you have one. It’s a little late, but everyone needs a toy. Even if it's just to hold.”

Ahri’s tears finally fell. Kai’Sa reached over and pulled out a napkin for her to dab her eyes. Ahri wiped her eyes (grateful she wasn’t wearing makeup) and took a sip from the water bottle that surprisingly appeared in front of her. 

“Thank you Kai’Sa. I love this so much, this is perfect.” She said, holding it tightly to her chest. Her tails wagged in happiness as it flapped against the underside of the table.

“Thinking of a name for it?” Kai’Sa said teasingly.

Ahri laughed despite her tears. “People name their toys?”

“Everyone does!”

“Okay...how about you name him…?” Ahri suggested shyly, hiding behind the tall fox ears.

Kai’Sa tugged playfully on the plush ears to reveal a little bit more of Ahri’s face.

“Momo…”

Ahri had to smile. Of course.  _ Peaches. _

They sat in silence, just petting Momo while sipping on tea. There was no need to keep a conversation, it was something that Ahri appreciated. Sitting in silence, it was always enough for her. Having such a nice moment with Kai’Sa after all the rollercoasters that came with promoting MORE, was just what she needed to feel complete on her birthday. 

The grandfather clock in the living room chimed. Twelve times.

Ahri blinked and pulled herself back. They were within a hair’s breadth of each other’s lips. When had they scooted closer?

“It’s past midnight.” Kai’Sa whispered, keeping her current position. “The magical day for the Queen is over.”

Ahri fiddled with the toy in her lap. Her fingers toying with the ears. 

“Are we going to be okay Ahri?”

She knew that she was going to eventually hear that question. The question was loaded with implications. And Ahri wasn’t sure if she had the strength to even ponder what ‘okay’ could possibly mean for them. 

She settled that this limbo was going to linger a little longer, but Ahri had nothing but time. This too would pass. 

It wouldn’t technically be a lie if she said that she would be okay. 

Time. 

She had time. 

“Of course we’ll be okay. I will only take what you can freely give...remember?” Ahri reminded her gently. “I’ll take nothing more.”

Kai’Sa was quiet. God she was terrible. Ahri was truly a giver.

“What about...what about all the things that we’ve done?”

Ahri gave her another misty smile.

“It’ll be a sweet memory.”

Kai’Sa knew that was a lie. Evelynn said it was likely that Ahri loved her. And that she will continue to love her and honour whatever boundaries Kai’Sa’s had in place.

“Ahri…” She said in protest, but was swiftly cut off. 

“It’s not my birthday anymore...Indulge me this last time. Please, can I kiss you?”

Kai’Sa leaned forward, her left hand coming to cup Ahri’s cheek. Her thumb pressing against those cheekbones that she loved. She angled Ahri’s slightly so that their lips could touch. 

Ahri’s right hand reached to hold that hand on her cheek. 

Tears spilled once more as their lips pressed softly against each other. 

Bitter, like the strongest of coffee.

Sweet, because those lips were as soft as she remembered. 

She could taste the subtle taste of tea and of the peach chapstick she knew Kai’Sa loved so much. The hands that held her were gentle and warm. She could feel Kai’Sa’s fingers tremble, the need to be pressed against her body growing. 

She wanted to pour out the rest of her emotions into this last kiss. She wanted to savor her taste. She wanted to savor the heat that she felt from her hand. She wanted to savor everything in this moment. 

But she shouldn’t. She can’t indulge. She won’t.

Kissing Kai’Sa was a privilege. And she hasn’t completely earned that right. 

Ahri knew that she needed to take better care of herself and her heart. 

It was doable. 

She could be a better version of herself.

She could do it.

God, she didn’t want to pull away. 

She didn’t want to lose the taste, the scent, the feel of Kai’Sa.

God she was a coward.

To keep the tears from falling in streams, Ahri pulled away first, her hand dropping to her side. 

Kai’Sa had a slight flush on her face and looked heartbroken. It was so brief. The leader tried not to read into it. It probably wasn’t a look of disappointment. That was all in her head. 

The gumiho traced Kai’Sa’s cheek before stepping back and walking away. Letting her go completely. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kai’Sa isn’t perfect :) And I feel that a lot of her character lore at least for K/DA is to love a lot. She loves hard. But when she feels crossed, she is sulky, upset and a mix of emotions. She can’t separate what’s different from her past experience. Just yet. (cough cough I’m projecting myself). 
> 
> Kai’Sa loves and when she figures it out, she can be very sweet and understanding. 
> 
> But what she knows is that she cares about Ahri enough to apologize and try again.  
> And that really is enough some people who don’t need much (cough cough Ahri). 
> 
> As for Ahri, she’s doing the best that she can. 
> 
> #43
> 
> Because of her fox ears, Ahri has perfect pitch.
> 
> Akali made a game out of it. She would grab a random object and ask Ahri what pitch it was. It's just today, it’s their asses (ofc ofc she asked beforehand).
> 
> Akali smacks her ass, “What about this?”
> 
> Ahri rolled her eyes, “C sharp.”
> 
> Akali smacks Evelynn’s ass, “And Eevee’s?”
> 
> “F natural.”
> 
> Akali smacks Kai’Sa’s ass, “And Kai’s?”
> 
> “F natural”
> 
> Akali looks at Seraphine, “Yeah sorry, cannot. Will not.”
> 
> Seraphine smacks her own, “And mine?”
> 
> “C natural.”
> 
> #45
> 
> Evelynn runs her vocal routines in French. LIke she will do her scales and then she would sing her pieces in French to get warmed up. 
> 
> Akali is the only one privileged enough to hear Evelynn speak French in bed. And how knows what kind of conversations they have?
> 
> #46
> 
> Bao is a wingman. That’s it.
> 
> Bao distracts Kai’Sa long enough for Ahri, Akali and Seraphine to steal snacks or bites for before meals. 
> 
> Bao loves warming up Ahri’s feet. 
> 
> Bao loves head scritches from Evelynn when using her claws. 
> 
> Bao loves laying on the keyboard when Akali is trying to mess with some chords. This is why Akai spends late nights in the studio, Bao is distracting at best. But it works out that Evelynn carries her to bed. 
> 
> Bao purrs on Kai’Sa’s shoulders when they watch movies together. 
> 
> And Bao likes smothering Seraphine’s face when she sleeps. 
> 
> #47
> 
> Evelynn is K/DA’s wallet.
> 
> Kai’Sa is the K/DA budget queen. 
> 
> Therefore shopping with just those two takes forever.
> 
> “How about this Bokkie dear?”
> 
> “Evelynn...I can find something similar for 50% off.”
> 
> “I don’t like cheap shit.”
> 
> “Well too bad, I like making sure we have money to keep up with how many repairs because of the holes, Akali, Ahri and Seraphine keep putting on the walls. And you also have been adding more to your sex dungeon, I’ve seen that our water bills have gone since I’ve been washing sheets for days now.”
> 
> Evelynn laughs, “You drive a hard bargain.”
> 
> Kai’Sa slaps Evelynn’s ass. “And you love me.”
> 
> “Of course I do.”
> 
> #48
> 
> Evelynn’s nicknames for everyone. Starting with the phrase, “Of course, my…”
> 
> Ahri: Love, Foxy
> 
> Akali: Lil shit. (joking). Darling.
> 
> Kai’Sa: Dear, Bokkie
> 
> Seraphine: Starlight
> 
> Bao: Bao-Bao, Bao-by, Bubzyyy, Mama’s lil helper. 
> 
> H-hello? You okay? Did the feels get you? Tell me tell me tell me tell me :3 teehee
> 
> And holy shit...nearly 60 pages. T^T uwu


	14. Break of Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new hashtag threatens to break K/DA twitter. Kai'Sa dances in her socks and attempts to be sneaky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Baby Steps - (SNSD) TaeTiSeo  
> Song: Stay - Zedd
> 
> Again huge thank you to @melmoo96 for reading every draft :)
> 
> Remember my Ahri's is more canonically Korean, so as a leader she has a softer, quieter personality unless the playful side is brought out by her bandmates.
> 
> Also it's formatted to be best read on the phone!

//

**December 15th, 2020**

Kai’Sa whined when Ahri lips left her own. Smaller hands had removed her tender grip on whiskered cheeks, holding them with a trembling grip. Her eyes blinked in confusion, unsure why it was so achingly brief. Her hands felt useless and limp as it rested against her thighs.

When soft fingers traced the line of her jaw, she leaned into the touch; she had missed this. Ahri’s touch. Nothing but her touch can make her heart sing, her eyes fluttering closed once more. 

There was no music, or fanfare to describe the feeling. 

The fingers eventually left her face, and the spell had been broken. Purple eyes opened to catch Ahri’s heartbroken expression. Her bottom lip held captive between fangs, her eyebrows pinched in sadness, amber eyes that she had grown to adore, filled with unshed tears before the gumiho turned and left the kitchen. 

Kai’Sa remained in her seat.

Stunned.

Defeated.

The memory of that kiss flashed in her mind. And not just that memory, every interaction that the two of them had over the past couple of months. Her cheek burned with that lingering touch, that was the first touch that Ahri had initiated since their last real talk. 

Her throat suddenly felt dry in realization, her heart ached in shame. The last time they had even held hands, hugged or kissed was early September. And their last _real_ conversation was the gumiho explaining that she needed to practice self discipline. Away from her. Away from them. 

It’s December now. Nearing the end of the year. 

_The way that Ahri kissed…_ Kai’Sa thought. _Was that…_

_Was that supposed to be the end?_

Kai’Sa shook her head, there’s no way. Ahri wouldn’t call it quits like that. 

But with that kiss...

Her mind taunted her otherwise.

**_‘Ahri is courteous to know what she deserves. And she thinks she’s undeserving of you. Just like Evelynn told you.’_ **

It was like if the Void had teeth, stretched in a grin enough to swallow her whole and leave her to the darkness of her mind. 

**_‘What a cruel cruel thing you are Kai’Sa.’_ **

Kai’Sa deep breath, There was no way that this could happen. Not when she thought, she was making headway with Ahri. 

The kiss was an indicator enough. The kiss was barely enough, and she knew that. She knew that Ahri wanted to press against her tightly. For them to kiss to their lips were bruised and swollen, so that their breaths can intermingle once again. 

Damn Ahri her restraint. Always the first to concede, to wait, to be patient. Always weighing out all her options before she made her move. 

And now, the pace between them had changed. Ahri was choosing to put herself first this time. And that if it meant keeping her love for Kai’Sa, locked tightly in a box. Never to be open again. 

Kai’Sa leaned her head against her arms on the table. She blew a stray strand away from her face, letting the weight of the event wash over her. She wanted to declare that it was different now, that she could be different now. But she knew better than to rush, than to push. Lest she unintentionally backs Ahri further into her shell. 

  
  


Maybe there was a way she can prod into Ahri’s high walls, like she did before. She would need help but there’s surely a way to make this all possible. 

Tomorrow she would have continued her attempt, but not tonight. 

Tonight she will sleep. 

Tomorrow...and the future can wait. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


Predictably that weekend, it was an-all-out party to celebrate the gumiho’s official “26th” birthday.

Ahri was nothing but all smiles, as she received hugs and kisses from the members, especially Akali who landed a sloppy one, leaving a fair amount of drool just to poke more fun. 

“Ew! Akali that’s gross!” Ahri cried out, using the back of her hand to wiped off the drool. Her teeth were bared as she went to chase Akali around the couch in the living room. 

Evelynn had been in charge of dinner that night, and left them a feast and was surprised that Ahri ate a little more than her usual amount. There was a small twinge of jealousy in the pit of her stomach as Kai’Sa sat there and witnessed the difference between how Ahri ate her food and how she ate Evelynn’s. Swallowing her pride, she mentally counted to ten, she didn’t have time to deal with petty jealousies. This was not about her. 

The sight of Ahri eating _anything,_ cooked by _anybody,_ shouldn’t make her upset. 

Frowning slightly, if that was a thought that crossed her mind, it meant that it was something that she had to revisit. 

Jealous over Evelynn? 

What rubbish. 

  
  


During dinner, Akali and Seraphine had gone out of their way to serenade their leader, using Bao as a prop as they did so. Ahri was wiping her eyes as the comedic maknae duo entertained them all throughout the night, until their throats were sore. 

Eventually the festivities had to end by around midnight, leaving Ahri to rest quietly in her room, while everyone else doubly insisted that clean up is their job. 

“Go soak in the bath! And then get some good rest unnie!” Seraphine said in a sing-song voice, as she nudged Ahri toward the stairs. 

“But-!”

“No buts! Go on now!”

The soak was good overall. Turned out that everyone did pitch in to give her a stress-free day. The bath was already drawn, thankfully an option existed where the water can be continuously heated until the user can sink into the water. 

A groan escaped her lips, as she sank into the water, letting the water come up to her nose. She blew bubbles just for some fun, as her tails swished against the water. 

The water was filled with bath salts, and within her reach was a cheesy-love-dovey basket held items to pamper her blonde hair, ears, tail and her milky white skin. 

The scent was subtle, making her eyes flutter in content.

She really had the best bandmates. 

But even if she had spent the whole time with the people she loved, and that she was happy, a creeping thought followed her, like a shadow that followed her every moment. 

The thoughts of her dreamer.

Kai’Sa.

But now was not the time to linger on the dancer. She wanted to enjoy the bath, enjoy the hard work that her members had done. 

  
  
  


//

  
  


When she returned to the room, tails and ears fluffed and dried. She fished out a new sweater, courtesy of Seraphine, it was a muted mint colour. Oversized just the way she liked it, with the sleeves acting as her sweater paws as they extended passed her fingers and it had a stitched fox just over her heart. A chuckle escaped her, shaking her head side to side. Everyone really was not that subtle. 

A sweater in Kai’Sa’s colours. 

That was just the thing. They were fine. They were okay, Ahri told herself. She had laid everything out. 

But she hadn’t shared the news with anyone just yet. 

She had to tell someone. Or at least break the news. 

That she was…

That she was...done. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


**In a private message between an Ahri and Akali: Operation North Star**

**  
  
**

**Ahri:** I’m not going after Kai’Sa anymore…

  
  
  


**Akali:** NANI?!

  
  
  


**Ahri:** I’m letting her go…

  
  
  


**Akali:** I thought the two of you made up?

**Ahri:** We did...Whether we’re okay in the future to be together...I don’t know

**Ahri:** But now, I’m just letting her go, until I’m strong enough to be worthy of her. 

  
  
  


**Akali:** Those things can be improved on if you really idk /talked/??? Like you told me when I was being stupid with Eve…

**Akali:** I feel you’re stopping yourself short from being truly happy. Be selfish Ahri-unnie

  
  
  


**Ahri:** …

  
  
  


**Akali:** You know I’m right. 

**Akali:** Do you want a game night with me and eve? Or just eve? Or just me?

  
  
  


**Ahri:** Can you send Eve later to the roof?

  
  
  


**Akali:** sure thing unnie. sure thing. Saranghaeyo

  
  
  


**Ahri:** Saranghaeyo

**Ahri left the conversation**

Today 11:52 P.M

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


Ahri sometime later was on the balcony hugging Momo close to her chest. She could feel Evelynn manifest beside her.

“Well, isn’t that a cute toy?” The succubus said, opening the conversation while petting the toy, tugging on the plush tail a little. Instinctively, Ahri bared her fangs and went to bite the offending hand. Evelynn pulled away only to give Ahri a little pinch on the cheek, to which the gumiho nipped the finger. 

“Who gave it to you?” Evelynn’s voice, void of teasing, now changed to concern. The hand that did the pinching, shifted slightly, to rub comfortingly against the whiskered cheek. It seemed to do the trick, golden eyes watched carefully as Ahri’s eyes filled with unshed tears. 

Ahri wiped a tear and sniffed. “A birthday gift. Kai’Sa.”

Evelynn pulled a familiar cream handkerchief.

“You have this still? Thought you’d outgrown this poor old rag.” Ahri croaked, her voice tired from all the crying she did. 

“And I thought I’d never see the day that you would own something so...cutesy.” Evelynn dabbed at her eyelids, tutting as she did so. “Why the tears my love?”

Ahri rested her face on the succubus’s shoulder and wept. 

Evelynn petted Ahri on the head and held her close, “Oh Ahri... it’ll be okay. Don’t close your heart. Not just yet."

  
  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


**At the same time... in Kai’Sa’s room.**

After taking a much needed hot shower to soothe her aches and pains, Kai’Sa was more than ready to dive into bed ready to get some much needed sleep. It was also a good time to check her phone so that she can turn off all her alarms for Christmas Day. 

_‘I deserve a little more sleep this time around.’_

Satisfied that all her double and triples alarms were off, she scrolled through her notifications bar to clear all. 

Except for one app. 

Kai’Sa wriggles her way toward her headboard as she scrolls through Instagram. 

There were more covers being done of MORE and she made sure responded as much as she could in her spare time. She could see that everyone in K/DA including Seraphine had been pretty active on their socials lately. Considering that there was nothing in her timeline except their own photos. 

But there was one person that she hadn’t seen an update from. 

Ahri.

The last photo that she had scene was probably the one from September when she shared a lazy selfie with Akali who was smashing buttons aggressively in the background. 

  
  
  


“Just out of curiosity.” She told herself. “It was her birthday celebration afterall.”

Refresh!

Swoop!

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


***picture***

***picture***

***picture***

**riridafoxy** blessed to have another year with the people i love the most thank you xoxo

  
  


//

  
  


There was a spam of photos that spanned the whole day - from the morning group hug, the lunchtime movie marathon, to the evening nerf gun fight and soft serenades. 

And in each picture Ahri was smiling ear to ear. Kai’Sa traced a nail across the outline of that cute curl of the gumiho’s lips, mirroring the smile. The dancer really had enjoyed the time making her smile, even if her actions were not necessarily singular but blended with everyone’s efforts. 

Curiosity tickled her brain, and Kai’Sa’s fingers scrolled to the comments to see that as per usual, BLADES had shown their outpouring support for their leader. 

Spamming her SNS with messages of love, stories of solidarity, and inspiring quotes. Most of all, affirming Ahri’s struggle with the past, that BLADES think they knew.

She was sure that Ahri felt touched enough to shed a tear or two, she was emotional like that. Her fingers tapped a heart to each picture, making sure she thanked the BLADES for their love and that they would be back soon better than ever. 

It was just as she was about to set her phone aside to sleep to some nonsensical variety show that was playing, when she heard a soft pop.

It was the sound of a new update. 

Again curiosity peaked. There was only a handful of accounts that she would receive updates from. 

Oh. It wouldn’t hurt to check. 

  
  
  
  
  


***picture***

**riridafoxy** this is momo. he was given to me from a special someone <3

_Comments:_

[7369 likes] OMG THAT IS THE CUTEST THING FOR THE CUTEST QUEEN <3 WHO GAVE IT TO YOU?!?!

[234564 likes] ALRIGHT WHO TF IS SLIDING IN THESE QUEEN’S DMS?! **@allure_eve @deerqueen @ninjafever @seradotwav I** M CALLING YOU OUT

[34214 likes] sasdfghjklasdfghjkm,lasdfghjkl omg who did it?!!?

[864 likes] yo its DEFINITELY kali! MOMO IS A JAPANESE NAME have you not seen her anime collection?

[12935 likes] has to be sera! she loves ahri!~~~~

[4543 likes] NO NO NO NO NO NO! IT HAS TO BE KAISA! KAI’SA SPEAKS JAPANESE. NO WAIT THEY ALL CAN SPEAK JAPANESE EJWKLG HDLKG JSD;LKG JSAL;KJG;LAS’

_See all comments..._

**allure_eve** interesting indeed

**ninjafever** very interesting

**seradotwav** i need answers too *cough cough*

[32905] CALLING ALL BLADES **@deerqueen** didn’t respond asdkjhf sdhjklfsd hjk as hjk asdhjkl KAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRIKAHRI

[40982] KAHRI ENDGAME KAHRI ENDGAME KAHRI ENDGAME KAHRI ENDGAME KAHRI ENDGAME

Something about seeing the comments, made Kai’Sa smirk in satisfaction. She also checked out Twitter, remembering that Seraphine also used it as a journal for her thoughts. 

To her disappointment, Seraphine had yet to make a comment about this ‘Kahri’ thing that everyone was going on about. 

Then she eyed the tab, _trending_. On the top of her head, she knew that lately that whatever was trending was news related to the pandemic and maybe an occasional news that another viral movement was on the rise.

How bad can it be?

Oh. 

**TRENDING**

**#HappyBirthdayAhri**

**_#Kahri_ **

**_#AhriandKaiSa_ **

**_#K/DA_ **

**_#SouthKoreaLovesKahri_ **

Before she let the bait of the tags, pull her deep under the rabbit whole that is social media, Kai’Sa forced herself to set her phone on silent and placed far from her reach. It made her giggle a little. Netizens support them?

Who would’ve thought? 

Well it should’ve been obvious, if Akalynn was confirmed was already teased often in their SNS, it really wasn’t that far of a stretch. 

Either way, she was just happy that Ahri had enjoyed a good birthday celebration. And she hoped that every year after, her leader would keep that sweet smile on her face. 

  
  


//

Christmas in K/DA was nothing short of chaotic. From decorating the tree with random nick-nacks to the presents that were to be handed out. 

There was nothing neat and tidy about it, but that was something that the girls wouldn’t trade for the world. BLADES were especially given a Christmas treat due to a long 12 hour livestream in Kai’Sa’s dance studio, definitely orchestrated by Seraphine and Akali’s and surprisingly Evelynn's insistence of spreading some joy this holiday. 

Kai’Sa and Ahri could be seen in the background, crouched on the floor holding their knees as they panted for breath. 

After losing an intense rock-paper-scissor competition, their punishment was a 2x speed dance off. 

Kai’Sa felt exceptionally winded because this was her third 2x speed run, with Ahri having her first run. She was always known to be generally unlucky in luck-based games. 

Ahri always not one for working out, whimpered as she rubbed her aching feet.

Evelynn was exceptionally happy as the _agony_ on her members' faces was always something to be entertained about. 

“How about another tourney?” Akali teased, her attention back to Ahri’s phone, waving at the camera to hype the audience up.

“NO!” The angel-line cried out, with Ahri on wobbly legs walking toward Akali with a snarl on her lips. 

“Quick Sera catch!” 

“Fuck!”

//

Later that evening of Christmas Eve, presents were to be passed out. As anyone would know the real Christmas is the high of the presents before Christmas Day. 

The day after was to spend lounging and enjoying the left-over food and of course the presents that were received. 

The only person that has yet to hand out gifts was Ahri, the gumiho who made her entrance to the living room with boxes stacked on top of each other. Which proved to be quite difficult with Bao weaving in between her stride, almost making her stumble.

“Bao-ah, can you please move so I don’t step on you.” Ahri tutted as she handed her gifts out. 

Ahri passed her gifts around. 

Evelynn received myriad of safe sex manuals and some lotion. Naturally, the succubus was unfazed by the gag gift, she even laughed, loud and full-bellied as she fingered through the pages. Her smirk was stretching wider as she was getting some ideas.

“Oh gross, don’t read it now!”

“Love, you’re the one that gave me the gift.”

Akali received more-or-less a _manual_ on how to top-dominant women. 

“Oh unnie...if only you knew.”

“I can hear you, and doesn’t sound so toppy to me.” The gumiho sasses gesturing to her vulpine ears, taking in delight the look of shock on Akali’s face. The laughs were louder as Akali buried her face in the pillows at the blatant exposure. 

Seraphine received a sturdy set of sound proof headsets. For obvious reasons, but as Ahri turned it on to test it, the young songstress hummed in satisfaction. She was able to hear deeper beats in ways that her old ones couldn’t reach. 

Everyone giggled at the thought that the gifts that Ahri had in mind were general gags. 

Bao received a new scratching post, with Ahri slightly begging that the cat could stop scratching at her desk chair. 

“It’s an antique…”

“It honestly surprises me that you can sit in it for long periods of time.”

The gumiho shrugged, “Sometimes I just need that rougher edge.”

Evelynn snorted, an innuendo. 

“Real mature... _unnie._ ” Ahri sassed.

As for Kai’Sa… She received a cookbook. It looked dated at best, but it looked fairly new for some reason. Kai’Sa was confused, as if she didn’t have many already, piled on the kitchen counter when she felt uninspired to come up with her own recipes. 

Either way she was grateful, telling her genuine thanks. 

And with all the gifts handed out, they were ‘dismissed’ to go enjoy the rest of their evening. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


“I see what unnie is doing here.” Akali said as she leaned against the doorway of the kitchen.

“And what’s that?”

“She’s trying to not give you personal gifts, so she doesn’t toy with your feelings.”

Kai’Sa frowned as she propped the book up so that she could sift through the recipes a little more closely. It was definitely dated, the pages slightly yellow from time. There were some dog-eared pages that Kai’Sa promised she would check on a later day when she got more sleep. 

It seemed kinda _personal._ She probably shouldn’t read too much on it though. Kai’Sa had many cookbooks, this is just another one to add to the list. 

The 2x speed dances slowly catching up on her. 

“I don’t think she is toying with me.” At the thought of Ahri toying her feelings like some _floozy_ , it just didn’t sit right with her, “I was surprised that’s all, that I even got a gift this year.”

“I think she _thinks_ that gag gifts are safer than sentimental ones.”

Kai’Sa frowned some more. 

“Damn it.”

Akali nudged Kai’Sa reaching for the cereal bowl on the topmost shelf. Probably purposely put there to keep Akali from going through multiple boxes of cereal in one day. 

“So what did you give her for Christmas?”

Kai’Sa thought about her Christmas gift. She handed Ahri’s gift privately from within her office, hoping it was something that she thought the gumiho would like. The dancer also wanted to try to keep it rather casual, because her usual gifts would be meaningful. Meaningful presents...would be too inconsiderate right now, she didn’t want to toy with when there’s a lot of hurt between the two of them. 

“I got her a bath set. Filled to the brim with things that she can use to keep her...well clean?” She lamely explained, cringing as Akali’s face morphed into look of grimace. 

Akali hissed, as if the news was stabbing her in the face. “Yeah um... that’s...um great?”

Kai’Sa flushed, feeling a little bit embarrassed with the gift she gave. “I didn’t know what to give her…”

Akali gave a clap to her shoulder, before muttering to herself as she left the kitchen, “Both of you really need to get it together.”

Her shoulder pods chirped as if to agree to the rogue’s comment. 

“I’m working on it...I just need some time.” She said out loud to no one in particular. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  


Getting it together was no easy feat. A hurdle that felt too tall, too daunting to scale. Not when she didn’t have a proper handhold or foot hold to ascend her climb upward or any idea where to start.

Before Kai’Sa could blink it was already New Year’s Eve. To think in little less than three weeks she was struggling to keep her obvious nervousness from showing. 

She had been a little skittish, because she knew that she had to work for Ahri’s favour, now that Ahri was no longer looking in between the lines of every action that they have done. 

Usually everyone would be out to enjoy the festivities with their friends, but with the pandemic in place, there was not much to do except prepare food at home and spend time with each other. 

Frankly, Kai’Sa would’ve preferred this anyway given her dislike of loud crowds and parties. 

Either way, she wanted to talk to Ahri all evening. Her little spawn that was hovering above her shoulders, prodding her to get a move on. She waved them down, hoping that their loud incessant chirps weren't loud enough to draw too much attention. 

Evelynn and Akali were focused in listening to Seraphine write some 

Instead, she figures she tries an alternative approach. 

She pulls out her phone, almost dropping it as she hastily texted out a message. 

  
  


//

  
  
  


**In a private message between Kai'Sa and Ahri…**

**Kai’Sa:** it’s not too cold outside. Want to say goodbye to the last moon of the year?

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


She presses send, her heart thumping as she did so. It didn’t help that her pods were doing backflips in glee at the gesture. 

Her eyes trailed to the back of Ahri’s head, watching as ear fluttered and swiveled when a soft ding was heard. Her form shifted, signaling to Kai’Sa that Ahri was at least fishing for her phone and was reading it. 

“I’m going to get some fresh air.”

Kai’Sa could hear the whine from the maknaes’ voices, “But unnie! The countdown is soon!”

“If I’m not back, it’s quite alright. I’ll just be on the roof.”

“Booooooo! I wanted to be the first to greet you.” Akali said, as she tugged on Ahri’s shirt. 

“Then you’ll know where to find me.”

With that, Kai’Sa took the cue to head up to the roof first. 

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


It was good that she had left first, she practically sprinted to the top floor of K/DA manor. Her fingertips tingle with nervous energy as she drums them against the bannister. Her heart pounded against her rib cage. 

“Okay! Be cool, it’s just a talk with Ahri...kinda.”

The nervous energy needed to escape, she bounced on her feet, almost wanting to create a new choreography just so that she had something to do before Ahri made her appearance. Her wrist watch told her that she had about forty minutes till the drop of the ball for Seoul, so incasse the gumiho wanted to take her time she could. 

Setting a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3aNwiDzawo) to be played in the meantime, she looked up to the moon, feeling semi-comforted under it’s white glow. The moon itself was in one of its many phases, just days after it’s full form. 

It wasn’t whole, but she knew it was the moon. It was metaphoric. Many phases, many faces, but the moon was still the moon. A constant presence but will eventually be whole at another time. 

A perfect theme for her impromptu routine. In her socks, unbothered by the cold concrete, she started slow. Her toes extended so that she rose just a couple more inches, her arms outstretched above her head, fingers curled in grace. 

She spun around, letting her right leg extend outward as a weight so that she can do multiple rotations without stopping. Her eyes fixated on the moon as her focal point, as she spun gracefully - at least she hoped it was gracefully. 

The routine changed slowly, moving from spins into small ground work, using the space of the roof top as her guide.

When she was done she was slightly out of breath, finally pulling her arms and legs back into first position, with one hand resting back on to the bannister. 

She grinned, she felt pleased. The nervous energy felt banished from her body with such a quick routine, purple eyes trailing to her wrist to see that about fifteen minutes had passed. 

There was still quite some time. 

A soft clap was heard, Kai’Sa turning to the sound almost as fast as she did her earlier rotations. 

From the shadows Ahri appeared, her hands clapping as she walked into the moonlight. A smile graced her lips one filled with awe and pride, it made Kai’Sa’s heart do backflips as she did so. 

“That was lovely.” 

Kai’Sa gave her a shy smile, “Thank you, I just thought of it on the spot.”

Ahri said nothing and walked closer toward her. They were standing side by side, Ahri facing the moon, while she leaned against the bannister with her arms crossed in front of her. 

Kai’Sa pods were nudging her slightly, to move forward to close the distance. The dance knew better than to do that, instead she leaned, and kept her body orientated to her leader. 

“What should be the theme for us next year Ahri?” Kai’Sa nudges her gently with an elbow. “Whatever it is, I hope we do it together.”

  
  


Ahri laughs, the sound of windchimes that never failed to make Kai’Sa swoon just a little more, “It literally starts in like 5 minutes.” She sighs and looks to the moon. “I guess I’ll work on being kinder to myself.”

She looked over to the taller woman, loving how the moonlight hit her eyes just right. 

Kai’Sa looks up as well, toward the moon, “I think I’ll be more…I’ll take more risks this year. I don’t want to be afraid to new…chapters of my life.”

“Sounds great.” Ahri said softly.

While they were both looking up, hearing the chants of the countdown happening downstairs, they scooted a little closer together. 

Kai’Sa looked down briefly to see Ahri’s hand on the bannister. 

She tries to move discreetly, and outstretches a pinky to brush against Ahri’s right hand. 

She tried. 

She tried. 

She tried not to burst out and let out a cheer of success, when she felt Ahri’s pinky curled into her own, but she knew she had the worst poker face out of all the members. 

Was Ahri happy as she is right now?

Some time had passed, and she was more than content just to enjoy the feeling of the soft skin against her own. 

Kai’Sa could hear the chants from downstairs, the windows probably propped open to let in a cool breeze. Time was running out in the year. 

Time to be bold. End the year on a high note. 

  
  


_10_

  
  
  


Kai’Sa gives three squeezes while she stares at Ahri. Ahri’s ears perked up in interest, her tail swishing side to side but a little low on her waist. Her eyebrows knitted together in curiosity, wondering what Kai’Sa would pull next. 

  
  
  


_9_

  
  
  


The dancer swung their hands a little between them, to coax a giggle out of the gumiho. 

  
  
  


_8_

  
  
  


Kai’Sa tugs their hands closer toward her body. 

  
  
  


_7_

  
  
  


She lifts their hands closer to her lips. 

  
  
  


_6_

  
  
  


Kai’Sa keeps her gaze on Ahri. 

  
  
  


_5_

  
  
  


She kisses her own thumb. 

  
  
  


_4_

  
  
  


A delicate blush covers Ahri’s whiskered cheeks. 

  
  


_3_

  
  
  


Kai’Sa pulls away, but keeps their hands between their faces, intent on keeping her gaze.

  
  
  


_2_

  
  
  


“Kai’Sa…”

  
  
  


_1_

  
  
  


The chilly air didn’t faze the warmth that was filling Kai’Sa. Ahri’s finger, still curled in her own, was by far the best part of starting the new year. 

“Happy New Year Ahri.”

“Ha-Happy New Year.”

After that, she sets their hands down. Smiling that Ahri was a little bit flustered, judging from how her tail wagged a little faster than a while ago. 

“Shall we go back?” Tugging Ahri lightly so that they would spend the rest of their early morning with their friends. 

  
  
  
  
  
//

Even with their rooftop talk, everything remained more or less the same as before. Tiptoeing around each other, but with a little bit more familiarity and warmth. 

Something over the horizon was threatening their progress before the healing can truly begin. 

Ahri would know. Because Ahri’s eyes were watchful. 

Amber eyes always flicked back to her members whenever she got the chance to. She knew that Evelynn did the same despite her nonchalant, deadpan expression the majority of the time. It’s just part of the melancholy that comes with immortality. The little things they honed in on. 

They know Akali and Kai’Sa - and to an extent Seraphine and Bao’s - habits and little quirks. 

Ahri’s favourite quirk so far was that K/DA’s resident dancer was quite the dreamer. It was the reason why she gave her the nickname. Whenever she wasn’t dancing or preparing food, the gumiho would find Kai'Sa looking out the window while nursing a mug of hot tea. 

The way that purple eyes looked out of the window was not in the way to appreciate the nature around her; instead, eyebrows were furrowed and there was a frown on her face. 

Ahri always thought in a way that made them kindred spirits so to speak. If only Ahri wasn’t buried in paperwork or thinking about the next big “it” thing for K/DA, she would be indulging in more quiet moments with Kai’Sa.

She knew that Kai’Sa had some inner demons that she refused to speak out, but she had a feeling on _where_ it was coming from. The way that Kai’Sa’s shoulders tensed at the sight of alcohol and tried to avoid clubs where debauchery and drunken mishaps were bound to come hand in hand. 

The way that Kai’Sa frowned a little when her and Evelynn left without a parting word sometimes. 

The way that Kai’Sa hugged Akali a little tighter whenever a faulty bulb flickered. 

And especially now, when Ahri knew that at some point soon, Kai’Sa would be tightly wound. Like the moment that a rubber band is about to snap. 

In a separate chat, Ahri made sure to notify everyone that it would be best to tread lightly. 

If she were to guess, it had to do with the Lunar Festival that was around the corner. 

The past couple of years, Kai’Sa had taken the time to be away to travel the world during their hiatus. This would be the first time that Kai’Sa would be spending it at the manor. 

Ahri would have to guess it was something to do with the restrictive travel policies that Seoul had put in place. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


The gumiho caught the small sound of a sniffle one evening while she was sitting at the dinner table fiddling with her phone. 

Amber eyes looked around. There was no sign of anyone else coming towards the kitchen anytime soon. 

Kai’Sa cleared her throat before handing over Ahri’s cup of tea before also setting down some fruit for Ahri to nibble on before dinner.

“Here, something light for your stomach.”

The voice was soft, almost inaudible. 

“Kai’Sa...are you alright?”

Kai’Sa quirked a strained smile, “Of course, just a lot of thinking for, you know, the festival.”

The way that the dancer had said it with her ‘normal’ pepy voice just didn’t match with the pained expression that Ahri knew she was desperately trying to conceal.

Ahri gave her a reassuring smile, standing to her full height. She bumped Kai’Sa on the hip as she put the mug into the kitchen sink to be washed. 

“I can help you with the planning or with anything that you might need.” Ahri said carefully. 

_How does one say that I can help and be here for you, without directly saying it…?_

Kai’Sa was silent behind her. Vulpine ears were able to hear that Kai’Sa was walking unsteadily closer to her. She kept her tail low just in case, so that it wouldn’t accidentally spook the dancer in her stride. 

“Can I?”

A shaky request. 

How could Ahri deny her?

“Go ahead.”’

Ahri felt a pressure against the back of her shoulder. Kai’Sa was pressed against her. The gumiho braced her hand against the corner to keep herself upright as Kai’Sa’s placed a little bit more weight against her. 

“I’m hurting a little bit.” The voice said, muffled by the hoodie that Ahri was wearing. It wasn’t her own, but she wished that it was. It didn’t smell like Ahri which made the tension in her lower back tighten some more. 

Kai’Sa’s hands itched to hold Ahri’s waist. To further cement her to this world, before her mind floated away to whatever dark cloud that was casted overhead. 

“You can be vulnerable with me only if you’re ready to share okay?”

There was the movement akin to a nod. Kai’Sa took a deep breath and took a step back, removing herself from Ahri’s shoulder. 

The patterning footsteps told her that Kai’Sa left the kitchen to be alone with her thoughts. 

Ahri told herself that she would keep a closer eye on her dancer. 

Kai’Sa may hit her breaking point sooner than she thought. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  


Kai’Sa woke up with a gasp.

She sat straight up from her bed, her left hand clutching at the damp cloth of her tank top. 

Her breathing came out in pants as she tried to grab her bearings. Her eyes darted across her room as she waited for her blurred vision to sharpen. 

“Fuck…”

She ran a shaky hand through her hair, trying to pull strands of hair that stuck to her sweaty forehead. 

“Fuck…”

A whine escaped her lips. This was the third time this week she woke up sweating, shaking and afraid. 

The other times that she woke up like this, she relied on the steady chirps of her pods to guide her back to slumber. But that wasn’t the case this time, they were loud and chirping loudly in alarm.

“Quiet please...I’m already awake.”

She looked at her alarm clock on the bed. 4:35 A.M.

She wanted to take that alarm clock and fling it to the otherside of the room. She would be taunted at this hour. It had to be now of all days. If today was Wednesday…February 3rd, 2021...there was only about a little under two weeks left before the start of the Chinese Lunar New Year.

She flopped back against her bed, letting her right hand come up to cover her eyes as tears streamed down her face. 

She bit her bottom lip to keep the cries at bay. 

She’d been trying her hardest all week to keep those feelings in check. She needed to. She’d be a hypocrite if she didn’t.

_Asking Ahri to keep her feelings in check because I couldn’t handle seeing her weak. So what now? If she came here and saw me like this? Would she say the same thing?_

After her phone call with Blitzcrank last year, the memories of her father slowly rose to the surface of her conscious thoughts. She knew that she was off. She could feel it in her movements and in her voice throughout the week. 

Her temper was shorter, her head was foggy. She had lost track of time. She was _not_ okay.

“Fuck!”

She didn’t want to admit it. 

She was feeling lonely.

The Lunar New Year was supposed to be a time for family. 

K/DA was her family. 

Kassadin...Kassadin was her family first.

He should’ve put her first. 

Like the way she did now.

Her family came first. 

Her feelings could come later-she needed to make sure her family was fed. She needed to make sure. She needed - 

**_Knock! Knock!_ **

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


“Kai’Sa?”

Kai’Sa wiped her tears, her head tilted toward the door. 

**_Knock! Knock!_ **

“It’s me, can I come in?”

She took a deep breath, walking on unsteady legs to the door. 

“Hey…”

“Hey…”

Kai’Sa hid behind the door slightly, unsure what to say as Ahri stood outside her room dressed in a long sleeve tee and black shorts. Her tail was swishing back and forth in slight worry. Her ears were slightly tilted back, as if unsure how to approach the subject. Seeing the gumiho looking at her with worry and love, was the final crack against the crumbling walls that she had been desperate to repair all week. 

“Kai-”

“Can you...can you…” She kept clearing her throat. Feeling the pressure rise. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides. The dam was ready to burst. 

Before she even got the word out, Ahri hands gently reached for her own.

“Let’s go inside. Your room or mine?”

“Yours.”

Kai’Sa let herself be pulled away. Not into her own space, but to Ahri’s, desperate for a way out of her own thoughts.

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  
  


Ahri motioned for Kai’Sa to sit on the bed while the gumiho went to grab a couple things, making sure to leave one of her bedside lamps on to give some warm light. 

Kai’Sa bundled herself up in Ahri’s sheets, humming at the feeling of the warmth that was lingering there on the left side. Ahri’s favourite side to sleep on. The dancer shifted so that she was in her usual space. 

She couldn’t help herself, she brought the blanket to her nose and breathed deeply. The familiar scent of grapefruits covered her like a warm embrace. She had missed this scent. 

Why did she ever stop?

Oh right…

But Ahri wasn’t here yet. She wouldn’t see Kai’Sa holding the blanket tighter across her body like a a cape. 

She can take the time, to just unwind. Even if it meant burying her nose into soft sheets. She let out a laugh through her nose, she can understand a little bit of Ahri in this way. Ahri loved rubbing her cheeks on soft material and if it smelled good that was doubly good. She rubbed her cheeks against it, hoping it will help soothe her stinging cheeks. Kai’Sa mildly hoped that Ahri wouldn’t catch on to the scent of her tears. She wasn’t sure what she was willing to spill to her. Especially about _this._

The creak of the floorboards caused Kai’Sa to look up to see that Ahri brought bottles of water, some snacks, and some candles. 

“What’s this?”

Ahri shrugged as she set the items down, while handing one bottle to Kai’Sa, “Water is always good, snacks if we get hungry. And scented candles to lighten the air. Would you like to watch T.V? We don’t have to sit here in silence if you don’t want to.”

“Can we watch _that_ penguin documentary?”

Ahri giggled, knowing full well that Kai’Sa loved penguins just as much she liked deers, “Of course. Move over so I can lean against the headboard too.”

  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


It was midway through the documentary and after bags of chips littering the floor, that Kai’Sa finally relaxed enough to lean against the headboard completely. She had wrapped herself tighter in the sheets and slowly found herself leaning closer and closer to the warmth of her leader.

There was still space between them, but Kai’Sa wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in that embrace. 

But now wasn’t the time for that. 

“Lunar New Year reminds me of Kassadin..”

A tail crawled it’s way to Kai’Sa’s hand. The dancer played with it as it moved around, rocking her slightly. She was grateful for the touch. 

“I hated...I hated living next to my neighbors because every year I would hear the kids next door celebrating with their families but…”

She shuddered. 

“I lived in an apartment complex in ...so the walls were very thin.”

“When my mum was alive...she would always have food ready for when I came home from boarding school.”

“Every year since she died, during Lunar New Year, I came home to an empty apartment. No food on the table. Not even takeout. The first time I came to an empty home, I cried. I cried so loud because for dinner, I only had rice and some side dishes. Kassadin had forgotten to get groceries...for when I returned from boarding school.”

She picked at a piece of lint. Pointedly avoiding Ahri’s gaze. Her amber eyes would be bleeding with sympathy and she wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to maintain such intense eye contact. 

“Mrs. Hadley, my neighbor, luckily had the spare key for when Kassadin was away on business trips. Guess he forgot about me that time. He came home three days later.”

“He must have a bad memory to forget about such a special person like you.”

Kai’Sa was surprised that the tone wasn’t accusatory, just sad. 

Sympathetic. 

She didn’t respond to the statement, and instead fished for her phone to pull up an image. Ahri looked over and smiled, at the image of an elderly woman holding Kai’Sa in a back hug. Kai’Sa’s hair was shorter then, probably short enough to be Akali’s height as a teenager. Her eyes looked brighter and full of life, but the more Ahri looked into younger purples irises, she saw the lingering sadness. 

“Mrs. Hadley became my nanny from that day, started to cook meals for me, and picked me up from the airport whenever term was over.” Kai’Sa smiled, fondly remembering the older woman.

“And then when I was old enough, I started to cook. Then I made food whenever I was on holiday, thinking that the image of the food preparation would be an incentive for my dad to stop working and to stop…”

She trailed off. Her cheeks aflamed with shame.

“Whatever food I had leftover, I just ended up sharing it with Mrs. Hadley.”

“She must’ve appreciated it.” Ahri said gently, “The both of you took care of each other. I think that’s very sweet.”

Kai’Sa smiled, her eyes a little watery. Her thumb brushing the picture of they two of them in Kai’Sa’s highschool graduation. She closed her phone and set it aside, her faze back to her twiddling thumbs.

“I just really…” She sighed. “Kassadin…”

She twiddled her thumbs from beneath the blankets. 

“My dad was good to me...he never laid a hand on me or anything like that. He housed me, he had money to give me anything I really wanted; food, clothes, dance lessons. ”

“I just wished that he was around more. Don’t get me wrong, I love K/DA. I love everyone here. I don't know what I would’ve done if you and Evelynn didn’t find me. I really don’t know... ”

As the words continued, her hands started to move in the air as if trying to organize her words in the proper order. 

She looked at Ahri with tear filled eyes. 

“K/DA always gave me something MORE to do than to just be my dad’s caretaker.”

“And I don’t know if I was going to be strong enough to keep that up for the rest of my life. It’s so hard...it’s so hard to see someone like my dad fall apart in front of me. Every. Single. Day.”

Ahri felt the sting of Kai’Sa’s words. But she knew that this wasn’t about her. This is Kai’Sa being more open about her own little world. 

“My dad gave me a void that I can’t fill with food or with kisses on the cheek in the morning.”

“Being around everyone helps, make that emptiness not feel so empty…”

“But at one point, some time in the future, K/DA can’t always fill this hole I feel in my heart.”

“You miss him.” Ahri stated.

Kai’Sa tilts her head back, to prevent the tears from falling. She sniffed, laughing a little. She fanned her eyes, which was futile but the tears fell anyway. 

“I miss him.” Her voice breaks as she says that undeniable truth. She clears her throat again, as she reaches up to put the volume of the documentary higher. 

Ahri said nothing, but kept her tail moving back and forth near the dancer’s knuckles. There wasn’t a need to press for any more information. 

But when the gumiho thought Kai’Sa was finished voicing her thoughts, “But he has other things to keep him from missing me.”

  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


It was through their second documentary that Kai’Sa eyes started to drift close, her head bobbing every so often, as if sleep would be more terrifying than being awake, even as the morning sun was rising higher and higher, Ahri was surprised to see that Kai’Sa opted to just scoot back down and curl into her bed, back facing her. 

“Do you want me to be in charge of breakfast?”

“Yes please.”

Ahri nodded, even if Kai’sa couldn’t see her. Just in case, to keep their her promise of not crossing physical boundaries, the gumiho slid one the pillows in between the two of them. Knowing herself, Ahri knew that she was a cuddler when she slept, and had worked really hard to keep that in check given their unknown status. 

She leaned on her side, amber eyes watching Kai’Sa with care, her ears waiting to hear for the shallow breathing that would signal that sleep had come. Yet Kai’Sa’s breathing was slightly laboured, and her shoulders shook every once and awhile. 

Ahri wanted to soothe her. 

Then she got an idea. 

Kai’Sa yelped slightly, when she felt a brush of fabric on her arm. And before she can even process the thought, Ahri spoke.

“Momo will keep you safe while you sleep.”

The voice was soft, shy and a little bit in a sing song tone. Just brought to dissipate any lingering awkwardness. 

Kai’Sa nodded, holding the fox plush close to her chest. She smiled when she was again greeted with the scent of grapefruits. 

It didn’t take much for the dancer to finally slip to dreamland. Free from nightmares for the early morning. 

  
  
  
  
  


//

  
  
  
  


A few days have passed since Kai’Sa had told Ahri a little bit more of her past. Thankfully Ahri isn’t the type to badger her especially after someone is vulnerable and open. Instead, the gumiho took more of her chores, on top of her daily tasks. 

The rest of the band had said nothing for this unexpected switch, but Kai’Sa was grateful. 

She had more time to be alone with her thoughts.

The nightmare was lingering in her system still. Jittery and unsettled, she knew that she needed to handle it in some way. She could feel the tension that was making her movements stiff. She would risk an injury if she continued to dance. While dance was a great stress reliever, she knew she could hit the beats a little too hard sometimes, too hard for her own good. 

Too many rolled ankles.

Instead, if dance couldn’t be her to-go stress reliever there were other ways to do so. 

Kai’Sa went to the manor’s greenhouse - that the dancer had created to minimize the trips needed to the supermarket - she closed the door behind her and locked it. 

The afternoon rays trickling inside the tops of the canopy, offered a warm embrace, already helping with her stiff shoulders. 

With her, she had a yoga mat with her and a couch cushion with her. She placed the mat with the pillow in the middle of the room, so that she was surrounded by the plants around her. 

She sat down, legs adjusted to maintain the lotus position. Back straight, rolling her neck a few times. Her right palm placed onto top of her left, as she centered herself. 

Her eyes closed and she meditated. She breathed in deeply for three counts. And exhaled for six. 

Inhale for three counts.

Exhale for six counts. 

She lets her head float a little, but the pressure in her feet and in her hands, helped keep her tied to the world like a buoy bobbing in the ocean. 

Just tethered enough.

The water was steady. 

It was time to do some unboxing of heavy complicated emotions. 

She thinks about Kassadin, wanting to reach to the core of the problem. Before it manifested in more negativity that will continue to rock her mind. 

_Why?_

_Why Kassadin?_

She admitted that she was upset that her father could’ve been more present in her life that didn’t require her to be a caretaker. Even if she knew this fact, it still stung. 

She could feel the tension build in her lower back, she was letting her emotions controlling her thoughts. 

Inhale for three counts.

Exhale for six counts. 

She would not let the anger win. 

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt that her father did what he did. 

She needed to forgive her father. 

She needed to forgive herself.

She was only a child. Filling the roles that were years ahead of her time. She had to forgive herself for not being the person that her father needed. Her father needed more help than what she was capable of doing on her own, and that was no fault of her own. But it was the cards that she was dealt with. The tears that she shed, was not for naught. She needed to leave the toxicity behind. And she had to choose herself for once and she is proud of that. 

The tension in her back returned.

But when she chose herself, she chose to leave everyone that hurt her, behind. A safety net that had too many frayed ends. 

Ahri had slipped into the net, and Kai’Sa was ready to cut the net loose when she felt the weight of her struggles. 

Kai’Sa was not thirteen anymore. She had the time, the years and the experiences to know that the way she handled Ahri’s pain was...not the way. 

Just leave her to drown. 

Ahri was not helpless, and nor was she completely ignorant. Ahri just did things in a way that she did best, 

After her first panic attack, Ahri was compliant to the adjustments and changes. While the new routine took slowly, the gumiho really did listen to changes that were met. 

_Did...did she do the same?_

Kai’Sa breathed again.

Inhale for three counts.

Exhale for six counts. 

She had asked Ahri to change...and she challenged herself to be more open and understanding. And she still hadn’t quite gotten around to it.

If she had spent time less worried about what Ahri could’ve done to her, instead of what she could’ve done to support her leader better, maybe things wouldn’t be so-

She stopped herself. There she goes again.

  
Thinking about questions that she would never really have answers to.

Either way Ahri opened up her heart to Kai’Sa and despite the hurt between them, the gumiho still invited the dancer to her own space. To listen. To be what Kai’Sa needed, even when she didn’t ask.

It could’ve been the practice of being patient for centuries, but Ahri was good at listening to more than just words.

Always on the careful watch. 

And eventually Kai’Sa knew that she would open to Ahri because of the quiet, protective nature that she embodied. 

That early morning moment was indicator enough. Kai’Sa felt safe enough to want Ahri to listen to her thoughts. 

She should strive to do the same. 

But before she can do any of that...first and foremost, she needed to apologize to Ahri.

_Why exactly was she sorry?_

She was sorry for hurting Ahri without giving the gumiho a full explanation of why she reacted so harshly. 

Ahri’s half-explanation that food made her nervous should’ve already been a sign. It wasn’t a complete explanation but Kai’sa would do better this time around. She knows that she will be better this time around.

If Ahri will let her.

But even if Ahri won’t...that was something that Kai’Sa would have to accept. 

_How to do that exactly?_

  
  
  


_//_

  
  


She caught Ahri on a random afternoon, the gumiho surprisingly not in her office this time. 

She was lounging on one of the couches, closest to this pocket of sun that was coming through the windows. In her lap was a book.

“Ahri?”

The gumiho looked up to see Kai’Sa standing some distance away, her hands tucked behind her back.

“Can we talk?”

Ahri placed a bookmark and set the book aside. This seemed serious. She motioned for the dancer to take a seat next to her. 

“I’m sorry.”

Ahri’s ears perked up. Head cocked to the side as the words washed over her. She wasn’t expecting an...apology?

  
“You’re forgiven...but what for?”

Kai’Sa shook her head. No, Ahri shouldn’t just accept the apology so quickly. In another universe, maybe she would’ve been happy. That this part would be over and that she can just put it behind her and never revisit this issue again. 

She strived to be better. 

She needed to show that with her words. 

Ahri deserved a _proper_ apology. 

“I’m sorry for not...for not taking your food aversion seriously. That it was not fair of me to snap, especially when you were trying to show me your appreciation.”

Kai’Sa closed her eyes, the heartbroken expression ingrained in her mind. The way that amber eyes filled with unshed tears, the way her shoulders dropped, and the fluffy tailed tucked in between her legs. 

How her words were ironclad and cold when she essentially told Ahri that dealing with someone who was _sick_ wasn’t worth her time. The way she didn’t touch the fox crepe that the leader made for her. Instead, she gave it to Akali and Evelynn to eat. 

She clenched her fist, feeling the emotion take her senses slowly. The familiar sting of tears. The tightness in her throat. The way that she could feel her words getting a little choked up. 

The words needed to come out. There had been already too much time in between them. 

“Especially when I demanded that you had to change on a dime for me. That’s...that was wrong.”

Another shaky breath. 

“I...let my past come to the surface and I projected some of my issues on to you. And that’s not fair on you when you didn’t have the full picture.”

Kai’sa clenched her fist in her lap. “I _want_ to tell you everything. But I’m not there yet.”

“And if I wasn’t ready to tell you or to face these issues of mine. How hypocritical of me to demand the same from you. And even if I feel that even if I feel...that we can talk better. It shouldn’t have happened at the expense of your physical and mental health. And especially our...our...relationship.”

“I was supposed to be your safe space…” She whimpered at her admission. Kai’Sa had to admit it. They were in something of a relationship. “I should’ve been better in caring for you, in communicating with you.”

Kai’Sa dropped to her knees and did a full bow. Hands on the floor, knees tucked beneath her. Her head touched the floor. 

“And I’m _so_ sorry that you spent time stressed and worried about if it was your fault. It’s not. The fault is mine and I take responsibility. I’m working on myself too. I’m working to be better.”

  
  
  


//

  
  


Ahri was speechless.

An apology?

She...she didn’t know what to think. 

She could taste regret pouring out from Kai’Sa as she kept her head low, waiting for a response. If she were Evelynn, she would make her grovel. Drag her around till she was satisfied that the sting of her pain and rejection disappeared from her core. 

Well, it never really disappears but it would make her feel better. 

That is _if_ she channeled Evelynn. 

If her claws were sharp, her words were sharper. She knew how to make people bend to her will. She demanded that her contract be broken when her vision was being stifled with saccharine bubblegum pop. She managed to sweet talk Evelynn into making a girl-group with her. She had to be firm when Akali was goofing off a _little_ too much during dance practice. 

With Kai’Sa, she _knew_ she was softer with her. She was wrapped around Kai’Sa’s finger in a way that no other human can. 

Now she was in a predicament. 

Kai’Sa had hurt her with just her words. And the words ran deep in her veins for months on end. The idea of hiding her feelings again, stuffing them all in the box to be buried and never to be surfaced again crossed her mind. 

She did _indeed_ feel better. 

She was working on herself everyday.

At first, if she was honest to herself...she tried to fix herself with the thought that Kai’Sa could look at her warmly again. By the end of November, she had been normalizing her new life condition. Managing her time properly, making sure that she was in the company of her bandmates to keep herself from burying her nose in paperwork. 

In a way she was thankful. If it wasn’t for Kai’Sa telling her off, she would be doing the same damn thing. Tiring herself out, stressing over the future of K/DA, stressing over her _feelings._

She had more time to mentor Seraphine. 

She had more time to play with Akali. 

She had more time to help Evelynn handle future K/DA activities. 

More importantly, she learned now that her mental health and her physical well-being should have always come first. 

A huff escaped her. 

_'An old dog can learn new tricks huh.'_

The initial apology had helped _some..._ but not quite. It took strength to deny herself from falling back to Kai’Sa’s orbit. She was proud of herself, even if it did hurt. Discipline, in her own way, was something she needed. To hang on for however long it takes for these feelings to subside. 

Her mind spent hours circling whether she was doing these amendments for her own sake and _not_ for Kai’Sa.  
  


If it wasn't for Kai’Sa, the gumiho had to settle the ache in her chest, that she learned now could be used for future loves. 

The feeling of blue fox fire that was just underneath her finger tips told her that it wasn’t possible. The warmth that she felt with the dancer...it could never be replicated.  
  
What they had was a delicate flame. 

And Ahri chose to snuff it out on the day after her birthday. She was letting go. 

To see Kai’Sa on her knees, not asking for forgiveness, but just to apologize...that was a curveball she wasn’t expecting. 

Her heart churned. She wanted to hold Kai’Sa close and tell her everything. The ache, the longing need to feel her presence without the murky what-ifs between them. 

She could. 

Kai’Sa was right here. 

It was all for the taking. 

“You can stand Kai’Sa.” Ahri said quietly.

Kai’Sa remained in her position just a little bit, before sitting up looking at her, with a resolute expression on her face. 

“I’m not asking for forgiveness.”

Ahri nodded, meeting her stare with acceptance, “I know.”

“I wanted you to know that I really am sorry. I will do right by you because you deserve nothing less.”

Ahri had to fight back a watery smile, Kai’Sa somehow always managed to say the right words. She folded her hands in her lap.

“I do forgive you.”

Kai’Sa stood to her full height at last, taking a deep breath, and wiggled her arms a bit. 

“I-I wasn’t expecting this to...um you know…” She started basfully. “I wasn’t expecting this outcome.”

Ahri laughed despite herself, “I think we’re better than letting this sit for much longer. I think we need a little gentleness now. Hm?”

Kai’Sa smiled, wiping away a stray tear. “Grateful really...Ahri thank you.”

The silence was comfortable again. 

The energy was no longer somber or sad, but now both were nervous for something to do. Ahri needed a distraction that did not prompt her eyes to gaze any longer at the dancer before her. 

Should she leave?

Should she continue the conversation?

What should she do now?

She wanted to take some time to digest these news too. But she also needed to finish this book, she was just getting to the good part. 

“Is it okay if we hug?”

Ahri hesitated at the question.

Kai’Sa seemed to understand her apprehension, afterall she remembered that she had denied the gumiho before. 

Even if she did accept, would Ahri feel warm? Would she feel safe? 

The dancer backpedal to give them both breathing room and gave her leader a reassuring smile, “That’s okay - that’s a little too soon.”

The movement of her lips felt normal now, no longer with hidden tension. She can move past this part. 

“Can I make you another cup of tea instead?” Kai’Sa gestured toward the near empty tea mug. 

Ahri nodded, unsure what to really say. As Kai’Sa turned around to walk back to the kitchen with a mug in hand, she heard a soft whisper.

“Rain check?”

It almost sounded...like…

The dancer looked over to her shoulder to see that Ahri was standing, the gumiho was facing the window; her arms wrapped around herself. Kai’Sa could see the subtle shaking of her shoulder.

Ahri needed some time. 

“Rain check.” The dancer confirmed. 

If Ahri went to close the door on her end for now, Kai’Sa would leave hers open for any time Ahri felt ready to come in. 

  
  


//

“Bokkie dear, you know that this can be considered _excessive?_ ” The succubus stated as she rested her head on Kai’Sa’s shoulder while embracing her from behind. 

Kai’Sa patted the arms around her waist, “Please Evelynn?”

A chuckle.

“Insufferable. Oh well.” She sighed as she removed herself from Kai’Sa and reached for the keys on the wall rack. 

“Though I will be cashing a favour in the future.”

Kai’Sa nodded before opening the garage door and sending Evelynn off with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Where’s Eevee going?” A voice asked, just as Evelynn peeled out quickly. 

Kai’Sa set a plate of porridge in front of Akali, repulsed slightly as Akali stuffed her cheeks filled with the soupy substance. 

“She’s doing some errands for me.”

“Does this have to do with unnie?” Akali smirks, as she ducked her head to avoid the glare she could feel on the right side of her face. 

Kai’Sa turned away and continued to do the task in front of her. 

“No…”

  
  


It totally was. 

//

  
  


_One night, Ahri returned from her walk to see that there were bags and bags of grocery bags on top of the bar and dining table. She peeked inside to see that there were a lot of fruits in them._

_Ahri eyebrows furrowed, Kai’Sa really wasn’t kidding when she wanted to have the rest of the members incorporate more fruit in their diet._

_It was technically kind of difficult. She chalked it up to her more carnivorous diet. Animals by the dozen have faster chances of spawning more offspring than it was to wait for seasons after seasons just for a bountiful harvest._

_A tap on the wall prompted Ahri to look up to see Akali leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. “Unnie you’re back. Kai’Sa and Seraphine are just helping unload the groceries.”_

_“Ah I see. But why so many?” Her hand gestured to the bags of fruit. “This could feed an army.”_

_Akali shrugged, tossing Ahri a bottle of water._

_“Something about experimenting, you know how she gets. Best we keep clear of the kitchen.”_

_The gumiho stretched, loosening up her muscles. “Sounds good to me. Shower and then nap time?”_

_Akali grinned, “Only if you play a couple of rounds of games with me.”_

_Ahri rolled her eyes, flicking the maknae’s nose as she did so, “Like I said, just because you shove a game controller in my hand, doesn’t mean I know how to play.”_

  
  
  


_//_

  
  


_A plate was presented in the middle of the dinner table. It was a pile of cut fruit. Apples, bananas, strawberries and grapefruits._

_“Bokkie, this is not what I was expecting for dessert.”_

_“Ha ha very funny. But I really want us to start eating these fruits, otherwise they’ll go bad.”_

_Predictably._

_All the fruits were eaten except for the bitter grapefruit._

_“Sorry Bokkie, it’s just too sour for me.” Evelynn grimaced after she ate one bite._

_Seraphine and Akali both had mirrored cringey faces as the sour fruit seared their mouths._

_“IT BURNS US!”_

_Ahri chuckled as she sipped her tea. She, on the other hand, did not reach forward toward the fruits in general._

_Kai’Sa sighed, looking at the uneaten fruit, “It’s a little sour for me too, but I’ll finish it. It’s good for detox or like an exfoliate. I’ll just wrap these for now, if you do want them later, I’ll leave it here.”_

_She tried one and let the sour taste run right through her. “More for me. I’ll surely finish it by the end of the day. It really is too bitter right now.”_

_Evelynn, Seraphine and Akali cleared the plates and went off to do their nightly activities. Ahri stayed behind to help clear away dishes._

_While she didn’t eat much these days, Kai’Sa instead made smaller meals for Ahri._

_The New Year solutions they had for themselves had helped with their mutual respect for each other’s boundary. The stuffy air that had used to exist between the pair now faded into something that was comfy and warm._

_They were able to talk amongst themselves and even pass jokes here and there._

_It was enough._

_Ahri yawned, her ears folding back. Her fangs flashed as she went to cover her mouth. Amber eyes blinked sleepily before returning to her task of washing dishes._

_Who would’ve thought that she would be so tired right after dinner._

_It was only 8:17 A.M._

_“Go take a bath, I got the rest from here.” Kai’Sa said as she went to soak the rest of the dishes into soapy water._

_“Nae…”_

_Ahri turned around and headed toward the exit of the kitchen. She paused to see that the bowl of grapefruits remained in the middle of the table. She looked up to see that Kai’Sa started to hum to herself as she continued to wash the dishes diligently._

_Ahri was curious. Fruits were never really her thing. The scents she loved, but tasting them was a completely different sensation overall. Considering her initial aversion to food, this was probably not the best time to indulge in something new._

_But a taste couldn’t hurt._

_She peeled back the plastic wrap and picked up one piece of the fruit. She wrapped the bowl back and left it on the table while she in turn continued to her destination._

_She nibbled on it, liking the feeling of soft flesh against her fangs. The juices flowed onto her tongue and it sent a pleasant wave of sour and sweet flavour._

_She liked it!  
_

_“That’s not too bad.” Ahri said to herself. She rubbed her stomach. She wished she could eat more._

_‘Maybe tomorrow…’_

  
  


_//_

  
  


_And the fruit shenanigans continued. Everytime Kai’Sa left a plate of fruits in the middle, all the other fruits would be eaten first. Leaving the sad lonely grapefruit alone._

_Apples went quick, so did the peaches, the bananas and grapes._

_“But there’s so many.” Kai’Sa pouted one morning as she looked at the stack of grapefruits that would surely go to waste anytime soon. It looked like she would be the only person eating the bitter fruit._

_“I shouldn’t have asked Evelynn to buy so many despite being on sale.” She sighed as she went about peeling them. And it was so time consuming to peel._

_Either way, by the end of the day, it was just sitting there all by its lonesome._

_She counted the remaining on the stand. There were at least seven left. That’s not so bad. She could eat one a day without the acidity getting to her brain too much. So that was fine._

_And she would have to settle that after this stack, no more grapefruits for K/DA for now._

_By then, she had already eaten at least seven on her own. That was already in itself a feat to be proud of._

_While she wasn’t entirely fond of sour fruit, there was something to appreciate about them._

_What it was entirely, she would have to put into words better. But right now, she knows that at least by herself she could appreciate the taste._

  
  


_//_

  
  


_It was by Wednesday that Kai’Sa was growing a little tired of the fruit. A little frustrated, she wrapped the remaining fourth of the fruit in plastic wrap and left it in a bowl after breakfast._

_She left a little note on the bowl itself, hoping that at least one of her bandmates would pick it up to nibble on it._

**_eat me please :)_ **

_She went off to teach her online classes. She would work from about 10 A.M - 3 P.M for her beginners. And then from 4 - 5 P.M for her intermediate and advanced students. While she would love to critique and help in person, it was just not viable in this current environment._

_If anything, her classes were to teach some dance covers and occasionally critique dance auditions for students. Other than that, she shot her own videos and uploaded them on K/DA’s Insta and Twitter accounts._

_While she danced, she thought of what to cook for her bandmates._

_All thoughts of the fruit leaving her temporarily as her day continued._

  
  
  
  


_//_

  
  


_“Huh...that’s weird. Where had it gone?”_

_When she came back, there was no bowl. All she saw was a clean table and that’s it. She thought about asking on the group chat, but she decided against it._

  
  


_The fruit was gone so someone must've eaten it if there was no sign of it in the trash or anywhere else._

_Then a thought passed through her._

_“Hm...”_

_This might just be pure coincidence. Kai’Sa thought._

_She decided to do a little experiment. She had around seven grapefruits to try this out._

  
  
  


_//_

_She started by leaving a grapefruit unpeeled at breakfast._

_Predictably, no one had touched it by the time she returned from the studio._

_Kai’Sa groaned a little, grapefruits were a pain to peel in general. Perhaps it was Akali or Evelynn or even Seraphine that were too lazy to peel it themselves, leaving it to the resident chef._

  
  


_//_

  
  


_The following day, Kai’Sa left a fourth of the fruit untouched, wrapped in cellophane, along with her usual note._

  
  


**_eat me pretty pretty please :)_ **

  
  


_When she returned from the studio, she smiled when she saw it was gone. However, it was a little strange as there was no sign that the note was crumpled and thrown away._

_Kai’Sa scratched her head. That was weird, hm._

_She considered that it was Seraphine._

_The younger girl was a little sentimental like that. But that was not enough information to go by. She needed to run more tests or escalatae her efforts.  
_

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  
  


_She continued the pattern. She left a fourth of a fruit behind._

_By dinner, it was gone._

  
  


_//_

_By the third day of her pattern, she noticed something relatively new._

_Ahri was eating a little more than her usual portion size. It wasn’t as much as Akali’s but it was enough to be bigger than Bao’s. She queried a brow but said nothing as Ahri shyly asked if she can have a little more rice to have with her fried fish._

_Again, Kai’Sa thought. This was surely a coincidence._

  
  


_//_

_She continued the pattern for the rest of the week while she asked Evelynn to pick up more grapefruit._

_She then ramped up the size to half the following week._

**_devour me if you dare >:c_ **

_She decided to keep her eye a little more on Ahri. Ahri’s appetite_ **_did_ ** _increase. Throughout the week, it was a little up and down but definitely more than before._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_It was Ahri._

_There was no doubt about it. Evelynn hates bitter foods, Akali and Seraphine always had a face whenever they ate fruits against their will. With such a visceral reaction, Ahri had to be the only one that was able to nick food off the table with no one looking. Unless Bao did it, but it would be too acidic for the kitty’s stomach._

_Despite the feeling in her gut, that told her that it was Ahri; she couldn’t catch the sly gumiho in the act._

_She just wanted to make absolutely sure._

_One experiment to absolutely, totally, truly, confirm that the gumiho was responsible for this._

_She prepared the grapefruit in the morning (way before breakfast was served) instead._

_That way her assumptions would be cleared._

  
  


_//_

**_The next morning…_ **

  
  


_She left the plate of grapefruit behind just as she passed Ahri, who was already dressed for the day in her office._

_‘Probably looking forward to her morning fix of tea.’_

_She knew that the leader wanted to take the time to enjoy her tea in peace while she scrolled through her phone in the morning before the workday would begin._

_“Where are you going?” Ahri asked._

_“I feel like taking a bath, I’ll come down in a bit to prepare the rest of breakfast.” Kai’Sa lied smoothly, running hand through her long hair. “Feeling a little too grimy in the morning right now.”_

_The gumiho cocked her head to the side, it was just a little strange. Kai’Sa wasn’t one to change her schedule, it was none of her business._

_Sometimes a good bath can help jump start her day._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_Kai’Sa sank in the bath, knowing full well that Evelynn and Akali and Seraphine would be coming to the table no later than 7:00 A.M._

_It was 5:45 A.M - more than enough time for Ahri to eat at her own leisure, if that’s what she needed._

_She finished her bath, dressed up and walked quietly back to the kitchen table._

_She turned to see that in fact she was right._

_Ahri was her fruit-thief._

_She watched as Ahri’s nails picked a little bit at the fruit, before taking it in her lips and nibbling._

_Her free hand held up the yellow sticky note._

_Kai’Sa watched as Ahri giggled quietly before folding it and tucking it in her shirt pocket._

_Kai’Sa also saw that Ahri read her sticky notes - as simple and basic as it was._

_Kai’Sa mentally cringed, Oh god. Ahri kept them. All the cheesy notes with the doodle images that was signed at the bottom with her name. She wanted to bury herself into the ground by how cringe it was, especially the one she had written just a couple moments ago._

  
  


**_i will burn you with my acidic powers! >:c _ **

_She saw the table to see that already more than half the fruit was gone by the time she left her bath around 6:30 A.M._

_In thirty minutes, everyone would be awake. Kai’Sa smiled at the thought. It seemed like all Ahri needed was some time in order to eat comfortably at her own pace. And if the grapefruit is the thing she liked … she would make sure there was at least one everyday._

  
  


_She shivered. Even if it meant peeling for her...And maybe leaving better notes for her to read._

  
  
  


_//_

  
  


**Three days later…**

Ahri was sure that she covered her tracks. She was an apex predator afterall.

She left no trace. No evidence. She only hunted in the hours where most would be vulnerable; evenings only. 

So why the hell was Ahri awake at in the ungodly hours of the morning? 

Ahri was used to listening to a normal 5:00 A.M alarm clock just across her room, naturally she wakes as well. It’s better than hearing the multiple alarms in thirty minute increments that came from her other bandmates that would stretch at least till 7:00 A.M. 

She’d rather save herself the headache.

But what was peculiar was the sound of shuffling of socked feet. 

Ahri sniffed the air and found that it was Kai’Sa who was up - she leaned over to her alarm clock - 4:30 A.M in the morning. 

_Has she lost her marbles?_

Ahri pulled on her robe, opened the door quietly, and walked downstairs. 

She rounded the corner before hiding behind it, only letting her head poke out see. 

Kai’Sa was in the kitchen. In her hand was a grapefruit and another was a knife. Ahri’s ears twitched curiously, her tail wagging behind her. 

She watched as Kai’Sa peeled the grapefruit, expertly, but slowly. 

The knife was set aside with the fruit separated from the skin and Kai’Sa pulled out one chopstick to fish out the seeds that were embedded in the meat of the fruit. It was only maybe four minutes later that Kai’Sa finished one piece. 

From the table, it looked like Kai’Sa would have to do at least six more. 

While she worked, Ahri’s ears tilted forward when there was that soft humming. Soft like the time she heard in the car during her mandatory rest period. Her accent was at her strongest in the early morning, but faded throughout the day due to the multitude of languages that she shifted through. 

Ahri’s heart melted. Grapefruits were her favourite fruit above all else. But they were a pain to peel, so she _would_ eat the fruit, bitter peel and all, thanks to her fangs. It was just easier that way. Seeing Kai’Sa take the extra time, warmed her heart. 

She continued to watch as Kai’Sa finished the rest of her tasks. Long fingers wrapped the fruit in plastic wrap and left a sticky note, before she gracefully went back to the stove to prep the kettle for their morning tea and coffee. 

Ahri took this as a sign that Kai’Sa would begin her normal kitchen tasks. She left from her hiding place to return back to her room, closing it quietly behind her. 

She dove back to her bed and brought the resting fox plush to her chest. 

_There was no way...Kai’Sa had already burned through the original stacks of grapefruit. Surely there was no reason for Kai’Sa to continue waking up early to peel._

And Ahri was wrong, for the next day and for the following day and for the day after that. 

Every morning there would be a small plate for her along with a hot cup of tea. 

  
  
  


**water, tea, grapefruit enjoy :) - K**

  
  
  


Ahri pouted.

Looks like she was caught. Kai’Sa knew. 

She still ate the grapefruit and drank the hot tea, letting it warm her up in the chilly morning. 

When Kai’Sa returned from her bath, she only smiled and said nothing as she cleared the plate away to prepare for the heartier and heavier breakfast for everyone else. 

Ahri hid her embarrassment by hiding her lips against the rim of her mug. She hoped the steam would just melt her away from the table. 

No such luck. 

She sat while Kai’Sa prepared breakfast, her tail swishing against the floor. 

When the dancer had finished breakfast, the steam of the hot food surely dragged the remaining trio from their beds at last; Kai’Sa just nursed her own tea. 

Ahri shyly looked back, her fingers reaching for the last piece of grapefruit in between the two of them. 

“OooOOoh! That smells amazing!” Seraphine said as she was carried into the kitchen from her perch on Akali’s back.

“Oh thank you! Hope it tastes amazing!” Kai’Sa chirped, as she motioned for the maknae pair to take a seat.

“Where’s Evelynn?”

“She wanted to sleep in a little longer. Can you save her a plate later?” 

Kai’Sa nodded.

Ahri in the meantime, just smiled and found herself pulled into conversation. Especially during talks of celebrating Lunar New Year together in the coming February. 

Her hands dropped from her tea cup to her lap as she toyed in her hands to do away with some lingering nervous energy. 

A pinky brushed against her own.

Ahri smiled, before letting her own pinky be wrapped with Kai’Sa’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asscanon #49
> 
> How K/DA sleeps ft. Seraphine
> 
> \- Kai'Sa sleeps on her stomach, with one kneed bent slightly, while her arms buried underneathe her pillows
> 
> \- Ahri likes to sleep on her side, holding something to her chest or her nose. 
> 
> \- Evelynn sleeps are her back, kinda like a vampire. Her lashers acting ass another blanket, keeping her buried in a burrito
> 
> \- Akali sleeps like a starfish, with her gob wide open for spiders to crawl in. 
> 
> \- Seraphine sleeps with pillows beneath her knees for better blood circulation because she's so tiny. 
> 
> I'll have more headcanons for next time because wowie this chapter was really long.  
>  H-hello? You okay? Did the feels get you? Tell me tell me tell me tell me :3 teehee


	15. Snowfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> K/DA goes to a photoshoot. Akalynn discusses Kahri. A snowy walk happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song - Tell Me What To Do - SHINEE
> 
> I tried to add more descriptions, I wanted to be a little bit better about that. Hope it turns out alright. 
> 
> Again huge thank you to @melmoo96 for reading every draft :) and for putting you through my multiple tense-changes T^T eternally grateful.

//

  
  


Pinky holds were safe. 

  
Kai’Sa had to admit it wasn’t enough. 

It was important to keep their distance, so manner-hands (at least in public) became their thing. 

Kai’Sa could see the maknae duo choking on air whenever Ahri performed manner-hands for a photoshoot. Her lithe hand just hovering just above where she _wanted_ it. Her steady hands always kept Kai’Sa grounded whenever the flickering of the cameras or the piercing gazes of the designers got too much. 

It was during the photoshoot of the new edition of Elle magazine, that Kai’Sa was how hard it was to resist crossing over and taking Ahri into her arms. 

She realized this as they were all positioned to stand some distance from each other, and Kai’Sa was more than just a little disappointed. 

It was probably all over her face, Kai’Sa feared, as she always had a bad poker face. Her eyes wandered, _respectfully_ , attempting to keep her gaze as much as possibly on Ahri’s face. 

Then, she could feel herself swooning over the gumiho’s soft jawline, pink lips that glistened from lipgloss, those blue eyes that she knew were contacts but only added to her already stunning beauty. 

She could’ve kept going on and on and on - thankfully her thought process was put on hold as she was positioned in place for her photos with Akali. It probably didn’t help that the rogue kept whispering underneath a smirk as the duo posed for their shot. 

“BLADES are like dying because you both keep being sweet. It’s driving me insane.” Akali muttered as she adjusted her pose with each click. She made small grunts as she squeezed her abs together, they had to look their best after all. 

Kai’Sa’s eyes that were normally softer during shoots like these, her eyes were hardset, and her lips held a veiled threat behind them. 

“Watch it short-stack, I know where you sleep.” The dancer said, keeping her left hand on her waist; to keep from using both hands to wring Akali’s neck. 

She decides against it. Not when everyone else was looking. Especially Ahri and Evelynn (mostly Evelynn) who could be quite picky during photoshoots. The succubus hovered over the photographers shoulder, appraising the quality of the photos. It was no question that sometimes these shoots take some time, but with the heat that she was feeling from the lights, and the slight wave of embarrassment from Akali’s comments it was getting to her a little bit. 

“So painfully domestic.” She heard Seraphine whisper, not so subtly as Ahri bounded over to hand them all water bottles to stay hydrated, but taking a little more time to fret over Kai’Sa who was still slightly red in the face. 

Kai’Sa tried to not pay too much attention to it. And from the looks of Ahri’s expression, lipids are drawn slightly so that she can give a half-hearted glare to the maknae duo, before sticking her tongue at them.

It looked like a good sign.

Thankfully Evelynn knew to put a stop to it with a sharp glare, “If you can chit chat, you can pose. Starlight, can you please slip on to these? I’ll help with your hair. Ahri hurry and come out soon, she needs the room.” 

“Yes Evie…” A little bit chastised as Seraphine followed after Evelynn. 

Though she can’t deny the frustration she felt when she wanted to feel Ahri’s hand against her waist or the feel of her cheek against her collar. Her shoulder pods seemed exceptionally happy at the thought of the touch in the future.

_‘Baby steps. Remember? Baby steps.’ And only if Ahri asks or when it’s appropriate. Not a moment sooner you overgrown puppy.’_

Despite her scolding, the pods didn’t seem to hear, continuing to do backflips whenever Ahri was around. At this rate, her extended beings will expose her sooner that she can get the words out.

  
  


//

Kai’Sa had already changed out of the loaned designer clothes, making sure to hang the clothes as gently as she could. 

Despite all the fame and money that the dancer had accumulated, she didn’t want to mess with such material that was obviously worth thousands of won. Creases and wrinkles just won’t do, and if there was, Evelynn would have her head. 

Dressed back down in her normal in a sports bra and her joggers, she walked over to Evelynn and their lead photographer who were going over the previous photos. 

“How did they look?”

“Stunning, absolutely stunning.” She said as her words ended in a purr. “You and Akali are showstoppers.”

She tickled Kai’Sa’s chin, making her giggle with her sharp claws before turning her attention to the photos. Not a lot of photos had to be deleted, it was the matter of finding the best one to fit for the magazine. That would show off and elevate not K/DA themselves, but the items they were wearing. 

While Kai’Sa had no particular eye for fashion, relying on the older woman for fashion advice, she loved watching her members hone into their craft. 

She draped herself on a nearby chair, watching a little listlessly. All they had to wait for was for Ahri’s individual shot and then they would be free to go home to eat a warm meal. 

She made a small mental note that she needed to also start writing down the recipe list for the Lunar New Year. It was taking more time than usual, but they had been working around the pandemic so it couldn’t be helped. 

She was half-way in her thoughts on how to incorporate grapefruits into a marinade into fish - her process was interrupted. 

Gasps were heard as the sounds of boots hit the marble floor. 

It was when Ahri walked out, Kai’Sa heart stopped. _  
  
_

“Kai’Sa...your mouth is _so_ open right now.”

She didn’t register the words in her ear, until she felt rough fingers slide her jaw shut. 

_  
_ She wasn’t sure how long she stared, that would be so embarrassing! She couldn’t gawk at Ahri like that when there were so many people around, especially _her other members._

_‘Oh my God.’_

A literal goddess.

Sequins upon sequins woven tightly so that each movement shifted the way the lights bounced off the dress with every step. The collar of the dress was wide and hung loosely on her collarbone, giving a just a sliver of the swell of her breasts. The dress meshed well with the combat boots she wore that would surely cost more than someone’s rent in a month, but someone tied the look all together. 

She was surely her mouth was turning into a dopey smile, that was until - 

“Ahri-ssi, can you come over here real quick? I need to add something to your makeup.”

“Nae!”

As Ahri turned to walk away, Kai’Sa had to grip Akali’s shoulder to ground her. 

_‘Holy -’_

Ahri’s dress was backless. 

Backless. 

Save for two pieces of string that reached up to the back of the collar, it was nothing but exposed skin that dipped to the lower waist. Ahri wasn’t the type to work out often, relying more on choreography and good diet habits - at least when she was eating - to keep her body in good shape. The subtle strength behind the curves of her spine to her lithe shoulders, shouldn’t go unnoticed. 

“Ouch! Kai! That hurts!” Akali hissed, trying to pry herself free from her ironclad grip. “Oh my God! Get it together!”

Her pods were over the moon, zipping and twirling in the air, chirping loud enough for everyone to notice. 

Kai’Sa still couldn’t say anything, not even as Ahri had finished with her quick touch up and turned to address the room. Ahri gave her usual teasing wave to everyone.

And when their eyes met…her heart pounded, not with want _anymore_ , but with admiration and awe. Despite the covert heated stares that Ahri must’ve felt, she still kept her eyes locked on Kai’Sa, giving her a tender smile and a wave. 

Her mouth was moving and Kai’Sa had to summon her brain cells to follow the mouthed words. 

_‘What do you think?’_

How was it possible that Ahri, who had everyone else’s attention, made her feel like she was the only person in the room? Blue eyes met her own, and there was a different type of look this time. 

_‘You’re beautiful.’_

The wide bashful smile that appeared on her cheeks was worth any amount of teasing that the maknae would put her through. Her ears looked perkier and the tail wagged back and forth just a little faster than usual. 

Kai’Sa really hoped it was because of her words. 

She really did mean them. 

The moment couldn’t last as Ahri was ushered to get into position. Any prolonged exposure just added a little more risk to everyone in the room. Her poses were immaculate. Starting off in a standing position, hand on the waist as always. Her finger tips curled into her signature finger heart. 

It was sweet, but the dancer knew that there was something slightly missing to the whole ensemble. From her position behind the camera with the lead photographer and Evelynn, she could see that even with the lighting, the dress wasn’t getting the highlight it deserved. 

_‘I wonder what would be the final piece to make this happen?’_

As if Ahri could read her mind, Ahri began to sink lower to the ground. And with the achingly slow drop, so did Kai’Sa’s jaw.

  
  


//

  
  
  


Ahri knew she was beautiful. 

But in this dress, she felt that she was a goddess. Her makeup was done minimally, her tail and claws were buffed and shining, the designers and makeup artists really have outdone themselves again. 

It was a shame that the photoshoot had to be done quickly, otherwise she would’ve taken more time to take her own photos with her phone just for posterity. 

Her ego soared when she saw the delicate blush that took over her dancer’s cheeks down to her neck. 

She knew she was beautiful. 

But it definitely sounded different when it was Kai’Sa who told her that she was. 

There was no time to be so bashful though. She had a photoshoot to complete. She smiled and posed like it was breathing, after being a model for many, _many_ years, she knew her best angles. 

Her poses may have seemed relatively simple, but the goal was to ultimately highlight the dress and accessories. With her ears, she could tell that there was mumbling between Evelynn and their lead photographer. 

_“There needs to be a little bit more Evelynn-nim.”_

_“Hmm, I agree.”_ Evelynn sighed, as her eyes calculated the adjustments. And then Ahri heard a chuckle in her voice. 

_“Ahri, love, go lower.”_

She bent down unsure how she was supposed to look, but she could hear the glee in Evelynn’s voice. 

_“Arch your back a little more. Mhm just like that.”_

Ahri rocked a little bit as she got into position, thankful that she wasn’t in heels this time. The boots gave her more stability, lest she accidentally exposed herself from falling over. Her left arm folded over her chest while acting as a platform for her other arm to show off the bracelets. 

_“Eyes on the camera. Imagine as if you’re about to feed.”_

Ahri gave a small glare at the camera. Is Evelynn really about to talk about her feeding habits here?

_“Seduce the camera…”_

Her eyes tried to stare at the camera with her best smouldering look, but they trailed up slightly to see that Kai’Sa was watching the phone intently. 

“ _Seduce_ ... **_Kai’Sa._ **”

She knew that Evelynn was whispering low enough. No one could hear their conversation. 

Ahri had kept her emotions down and her _want_ for Kai’Sa under lock and key. 

But maybe just this once...she can let her emotions flow freely.

  
  
  


//

  
  


The night that they returned from the photoshoot, Seraphine had slunked off to bed, not really caring much to eat. 

Akali, to her credit, really tried to hold herself back with the amount of material that she was fed with. Thankfully, Evelynn had the sense to pull her away before the rogue could interrupt the new ‘Kahri’ night routine that they did. 

After dinner - no matter how later it was - Ahri would stay behind to wash dishes. Kai’Sa would then refuse, and then they would quietly and playfully argue back and forth till the dancer was marched to her seat, leaving the dishes behind. 

Ahri would then start the dishes, humming quietly while Kai’Sa sipped on some hot chocolate.

Then two would chat. 

The few times that Akali had stayed behind to not _observe_ but to spend time with the two of them, she had fallen asleep on the table. In the hours of the night, the slower drawl of conversations was enough to put her to sleep easily. 

“Come now darling, leave them be.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Akali yawned, “I don’t have the brain power right now to keep up with _whatever_ they’ll talk about tonight.”

“Our conversations are not that boring, right Ahri?”

Ahri chuckled as she began to stow the dishes away. “Never.”

“Grosssss. Anyways, Kai’Sa, Ahri-unnie...oyasuminasai…”

“Oyasumi.” The pair repeated, sending off Akali with a kiss on the cheek and a playful swat on the butt. She was a little too sleepy to care who did what and trailed after Evelynn into her bedroom. 

The wave of sleepiness escaped her the moment that Akali laid in bed. She wriggled out of her clothes, clad only in a loosest shirt and a pair of boxers, and worked her way into the pillows. 

While she waited for Evelynn to join her, her thoughts lingered. 

  1. Ahri and Kai’Sa had officially made up.
  2. The photoshoot was indicator enough - they had deep - _deeper -_ feelings for each other.
  3. Whatever had happened between them recently just seemed to slowly bring their affections for each other to a more...



  
  


“Evelynn, babe, they’re so gross together. Like oh my God, can’t they just - oh I don’t know - kiss?!”

Evelynn, who was curled against her chest, grunted at the sudden start of conversation, “I love that I’m here in your bed, _naked_ , mind you. And here you are talking about other women in my presence.”

The succubus yawned, scooting closer, hoping the warmth of her naked body would pull her lover back into the lulls of sleep. Akali rolled her eyes before giving a drawn out kiss to her pouty girlfriend. 

“You’re the only one to have graced my bed in years Evelynn. No one else will have that right.” Akali whispered before kissing her again, slower and with less heat. 

The succubus seemed satisfied with the declaration and cuddled close, tucking herself into the nook of Akali’s neck. “Oh alright, what’s this ‘gross’ bit that you’re on about?”

Akali let out a short yell. “Ahri-unnie and Kai’Sa! They’re like… I don’t know, super mushy and it's so domestic and cute. Like it’s hurting my teeth!”

“They’re going at their pace. Why are you so worked up?”

“They’re going so _slooooooooooooooow._ It’s like they miss each other, even though they're standing next to each other. It’s almost I don’t know, a whole new level of tenderness?”

“Ahri won’t make the first move.”

“Why not?”

“Ahri always makes the first move. If she’s burned, she knows better than to try again.”

“Isn’t trying again important?”

A kiss distracted Akali. She hummed in pleasure as Evelynn nibbled on her bottom lip. 

“Trying again and again is so human. I’m glad you did that for me.” She rubbed a soothing hand against Akali’s sternum, “Ahri and Kai’Sa will figure it out. Have a little faith.”

“Or so help me God.” Akali replied sleepily, letting Evelynn slowly guide her to slumber at last. 

  
  


//

  
  


Akali was aware of their new routine - it was not hard to miss. Afterall, she was good at sneaking around the manor. 

Kai’Sa would go downstairs at the crack of dawn and peel a grapefruit and then attach with a sticky note afterward. Ahri would come down moments later, groggy but grateful. 

Then the two of them enjoyed silence together. Sometimes they talked, but it was the stillness that only the two of them would understand. The rapper couldn’t wrap her mind around it really. She wasn’t one for too many silent moments. Filling the air with commentary was something she rarely got a chance to do at the dojo. It was always mindful silence and soft tones. Here in the manor, she could be as loud as she wanted, talked as often as she wanted. 

Evelynn didn’t seem to mind; it was no wonder they could mesh well together. Before her own train of thought got her sidetracked - she thought again about Ahri and Kai’Sa.

Now that she thought about it some more, there was a new development recently. Akali knew that Kai’Sa loved to have her kitchen clear, nay spotless. 

But there was a new addition. 

And not an addition that she was expecting. 

A stone. 

A fucking stone. 

A goddamn stone. 

Rounded in all the right places, so that it was a perfect oval shape, perfect for skipping across the Han River, if they ever got the chance. 

She almost wanted to chuck it to the garden because of just how out of place it was in the white pristine kitchen. There were a lot of stones in the garden anyways, why would it be sitting on the counter?

Akali rested her cheek against the table while she waited for lunch, and in her hand was the stone that she sneakily stole from behind Kai’Sa’s back. 

It had a nice weight to it, and she did like how smooth it felt in her palm. It really did feel like something that can be thrown. 

Hmm.

“Hey Seraphine, check out this stone.”

“What about it?”

“I want to add googly-eyes on it.”

“Can we give it a name?” Seraphine giggled as she flipped the stone in her hands. 

When Akali and Seraphine were passing it back and forth between the two, Akali felt a chill in her spine, as she shakily looked over her shoulder to see Kai’Sa’s dark expression. 

“Put it back.”

She never felt more scared of Kai’Sa’s cannons except for that moment. Cannons raised, the once happy chirps turned into a drone of anger and locked in on the hands that held the small little stone. 

“Okay! Okay! We’re putting it back!” 

By the time it was February, there were enough stones to line the wall of the stove. And with each stone it would be inked with a date and a location of when it was picked up. 

Kai’Sa loved stones.

Why? 

The rogue remembered a conversation they had previously - when the two of them often took runs on the beach. Akali remembered that before walking up the steps to reach the parking lot, Kai’Sa would lag behind crouched to the ground, flipping over many stones.

  
  


//

  
  
  


_‘Kai’Sa the stones aren’t going anywhere.’_

_‘I used to collect them!’_

_‘Oh jeez, do you also put googly-eyes on them and called them Larry?’_

_A slight flush on her face told her that yes indeed Kai’Sa seemed the type to give each rock a name._

_‘Tell anyone this and after the next practice, you won’t be able to walk.” Kai’Sa warned, leaving the rocks behind and falling into step with Akali._

_It was after they got into the car - fifteen minutes into their drive - that the dancer spoke again._

_“Stones remind me of something permanent. I moved a lot and you know this Akali - there wasn’t enough time in the world back then for me to feel rooted into place. I collected stones from all the places that I’ve visited or lived in. Those old childhood stones, I’ve stored them safely away somewhere. I don’t bring them out.’_

_‘Why not?’_

_“I’m already deeply rooted here, here with K/DA. There was no need for those things anymore, when I’m already home.”_

  
  


_//_

  
  
  


So why are the stones making another appearance?

Akali thought about this as she went downstairs, needing a drink after a long night with Evelynn. 

She turned the corner to see Ahri opening the door, returning from her late night walk. Grey eyes honed in on an object in Ahri’s left hand and her smile widened. 

“Oh, _you’re_ the culprit!”

“Fucking -” Ahri jumped, tails and ears upright and frazzled. “Fucking hell! Akali don’t do that!”

Akali all but hopped over so that she was all in her leader’s space and fished out the stone out of her hand. 

It was grey, as stones always are, but this one had a red spot on the edge. This one looked really special.

“Give it back!”

As much as Akali wanted to tease her leader a little bit more, it was late and the other members were sleeping soundly. They couldn't afford to be too loud. She felt a sinister chill down her spine, if she woke up Evelynn… _‘Perish the thought…’_

The rogue relinquished her grip on the stone, watched as Ahri went to clean off the stone and then tucked it with the rest near the knife rack. 

“It’s going to get crowded there.” 

Ahri sheepish, realizing that the amount of stones that littered the countertop, “Well how else will she get to display these?”

The gumiho placed the new stone to the farthest right just shy of the edge, adding softly, “I’m surprised it’s even here. I thought she’d be mad and have these thrown out.”

A claw thumbed rubbed against the stone in an effort to soothe her nervousness. 

Was collecting all these stones the past couple days too much of an inconvenience?

Was Kai’Sa just placating her because they had just made up?

Should she just ask?

Akali felt her heart seize. It had to be utterly criminal to see a forlorn look on the gumiho’s face. 

Akali snapped her fingers. 

“I got a plan.”

Ahri cocked her head to the side, her ears perked in curiosity, ”Really?”

“Ah! Ah! The only way I help you is to admit Operation Northstar is a go! And also make another group chat.”

  
  
  
  
  


// 

  
  


**The following day…**

**In a private message between an Ahri and Akali:  
  
**

**Group renamed Operation North Star** **II**  
  
  
  
  


 **Akali:** HAH! so you do admit it! 

**Akali:** oi unnie! DON’T COME TO THE KITCHEN. I LEFT SNACKS FOR YOU AND EEVEE IN THE OFFICE

**Ahri:** You do realize that there’s a separate group chat for this right?

**Akali:** trust!

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


“Did you get a text from Akali too? To avoid the kitchen?”

Evelynn nodded as she stapled another stack of paper and placed it on another pile to be reviewed for later. 

Ahri set her phone face down on the table next to the new addition of her desk space. A mason jar, filled with the sticky notes that she had received with her morning tea. 

Evelynn saw that Ahri’s nails were drumming against the jaw with a clink. She snorted, to which vulpine ears swiveled in her direction. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You really kept all those notes?”

Ahri let out a dreamy sigh, “I just think it’s very sweet. She didn’t need to keep doing these notes...I’ve forgiven her already.”

The succubus rolled her eyes, “You know _why,_ you dumb fox. She wants to because she loves you.”

  
  


//

  
  


**Flashback**

**_Fact: Did you know that foxes like to bury stuff to use for later?_ **

_Oh, so they were in the joking phase now. Like clockwork, she folded the piece of paper and kept it in her pocket to store for later._

_“Ahri, what on Earth do you do with these sticky notes of mine?” Kai’Sa asked her with her hands folded under her chin; alluding to the note that she had left behind._

_Using Evelynn’s words with her usual seductive tilt, Ahri gave Kai’sa a sly smile, “That’s a secret, darling.”_

_Ahri thought that Kai’Sa would play it off with her usual grace, like a dancer would after a small fumble._

_Instead, Kai’Sa’s mouth dropped slightly and a bright red flush appeared on her cheeks trailing to her neck._

_“I-I-I-I ...that didn’t answer my question.”_

_Ahri only smiled._

  
  


//

“She does love you.”

“And I _love_ her.” The gumiho said, letting her claw tap against the glass once more. “But she did hurt me...I don’t know if I can do that again. So yeah. Maintaining space. So she doesn’t _run_ from me.” She stretched her back before motioning to Evelynn. 

“You’re running _from_ her.”

“ _Maintaining_ the distance.” Ahri corrected. “Pass me those forms will you? I want to see what the rest of the industry is thinking about hosting more online super concerts.”

Eveylnn sighed, handing over the forms as requested. 

  
  


//

  
  


**Several hours later...**

  
  


There were sounds of whirring that were too loud to ignore. Evelynn and Ahri both gave each other a quizzical look. 

“What on Earth is going on downstairs?”

“It sounds like a drill?”

The succubus rubbed circles against her temples. With each buzz, her eyebrows creased tighter, “Well, might as well tell them to keep it down, otherwise I’ll be a _very unhappy_ Evelynn.”

They rose from their desks, thinking it would be a good time to take a break. 

When they got to the kitchen, they were floored. Kai’Sa’s kitchen was suspiciously clean...Except for the boxes of screws and drill bits that were on top of the dining table. 

“Wha-?”

“Unnie! Eevee!”

They were tugged towards one particular wall of the kitchen. 

And there it was. 

Two new shelves were added to the wall. And with it - all the stones that were collected - by order of date - where lined neatly from left to right. The shelves made from deep mahogany had a sleek look to it that neatly complimented the white accented walls and granite countertops. 

Akali and Seraphine both had shit-eating grins at the awed look from the older women. Evelynn's expression was nothing short of impressed and she clapped her hands together.

“Well done. I didn’t know that you two were quite good with your hands like this.”

“Yup! We went to get the parts like...earlier this morning!” Seraphine said as she tapped on the wood with her knuckle, “Did all the lifting and measurements ourselves! And without denting one of your cars.”

The pleased purr was a tell-tale sign that the eldest member was doubly pleased. A new edition to the kitchen and her car was _unscathed?_ Perfection. 

“Like it?” They both asked, with a pointed look at the gumiho. “Kai’Sa won’t have to cramp her favourite space in the house. And you can keep adding to it.”

In the blink of an eye, the maknae-duo were caught in a tight hug.

“감사합니다, 여러분!”

(Thank you, little ones!)

Akali squeezed her leader tighter, letting her voice be muffled in the crook of her neck, “I really want you two to work this out.” 

Ahri just held the two of them tighter. She really had such great friends.

“Seems like the two of you deserve another round of McDonald’s later tonight after dinner.” Ahri eventually said when she pulled away. 

“But I want it nooooooooooow!”

“ _After_ we eat Bokkie’s food. Let’s just hope the McFlurry machine works.” Evelynn said as her stomach growled. 

//

Predictably when Kai’Sa returned home from the studio she was in awe to see two new shelves. 

“Like it?”

She turned around to see Ahri leaning against the doorway with hands deep in her pockets. 

Kai'Sa let her podlings do the talking, as they chirped with glee. "I love it!"

// 

  
  


**A few days later...  
**

**Fact: Did you know foxes can handle sub-freezing temperature? Unlike a fox-adjacent gumiho I know…**

Ahri glared at Kai’Sa’s back and glared harder when the dancer’s shoulders shook with laughter. 

“Come now Ahri, you always need to be bundled up.” She said as she prepared an omelette. 

“Doesn’t mean you have to call me out like that.”

“I’ll just have to settle for calling you a sweater-thief.”

Ahri tugged the collar of her Akali’s sweater, pouting a little bit. 

“But it _is_ cold.” Ahri whined, using her tail to curl up around her waist in an effort to stay warm. She rubbed her hands together, though her efforts proved to be futile. 

Kai’Sa eventually turned around and set down a hot mug filled with hot chocolate. 

“Here. Maybe this will help.” 

Ahri hands wrapped around the mug, purring at the heat that was slowly filling her body. She looked down to see there was a happy face made with marshmallows. 

  
  
  
  


//

  
**Another couple days later...  
**

**Fact: Fox are also fairly transient animals and frequently move from place to place.**

“What on Earth does that mean?” She mumbled while nibbling on her second grapefruit of the day. It was about an hour after her lunch break and Ahri was about to hit her afternoon slump. The good thing about her new schedule is that she had time to take an afternoon nap. 

And nap time had done wonders for her brain, considering that she hadn’t been sleeping much during the earlier part of 2020. 

So she wandered the manor to find the resident cuddle bug, Akali. She found Akali on the couch playing video games and Evelynn and Kai’Sa were there as well. 

“Where’s Seraphine?”

“Practicing some guitar. She’ll be down later.”

Ahri yawned and Akali couldn’t help but grin, “Nap time for unnie?”

Ahri nodded, blinking back tears as the exhaustion from morning paperwork had her limbs feeling like syrup. 

“I’d move to another room but this is a really good part.”

Ahri shook her head as she walked to the couch before curling up in Akali’s arms. 

Kai’Sa looked on, seeing how cooly Akali adjusted herself so that the gumiho was comfy.

Turned out that Akali was a little too jerky to be a good nap buddy today. The video game was getting Akali a little too hyped up to keep still, moving every so often and leaving Ahri to whine a little. 

Evelynn wasn’t quite helpful either, not with Bao on her lap. As much as she liked the little cat, Evelynn loved Bao a little more right now, considering how many cooing noises that left the older woman’s lips. 

The only other person…Kai’Sa?

The dancer seemed to understand a bit of her apprehension. 

Kai’Sa just pulled one of the couch cushions, threw a blanket and patted the free space next to her. Surprisingly. Kai’Sa set the cushion down to her side, leaving Ahri to stretch out on the couch and not on top of her. 

In a way she was thankful. And she really needed to rest her head. 

She left Akali’s side and curled up in the throw blanket, letting her cheeks rub against the fabric, chirping a little bit as she did so. Not before looping her finger in Kai’Sa’s free hand, for a _little_ more comfort. As she laid, waiting for sleep to come, her ears flickered to hone in on the sounds around her. 

The rapid taps of buttons, squishy and loud as it clashed with the sounds of the characters being mowed down by Akali’s skills. There was a low rumbling purr that was coming from Bao, Evelynn’s claws with their metallic clink, scritched at just the right spot that Ahri knew would also put her under. 

Her favourite sensation? The feeling of the heat of Kai’Sa skin was enough to send her straight to slumber. 

//

**An hour later...**

“Pfffffft Kai’Sa try this. Try scooting just a little bit away.”

Kai’Sa was confused but scooted a little bit so that she was further along the couch, further away from Ahri. “Why on Earth would I do that?”

As if on cue, there was a displeased whine that came from the dozing gumiho. The dancer immediately returned to her original position, her thigh just brushing the tips of Ahri’s vulpine ears. And of course, she looped her pinkie back onto Ahri’s grasp. 

“She gets fussy in her sleep.” Akali snickered, clapping her hands as quietly as she could. Kai’Sa fell into her trap card,“This is why nap time is dangerous with Ahri. She’ll keep you in place.”

Kai’Sa let out a laugh through her nose. “Oh I know...I know…”

“Ew stop being so gay!”

“If it wasn’t for Bao or the video game you’d be straight in Evelynn’s lap getting head pats too you bloody hypocrite!”

Another displeased whine. 

“Yeah be quiet Kai-Kai!”

Lashers moved from their prone state and gave both Kai’Sa and Akali a sharp prod on the foot. 

“Both of you, knock it off! You’re running my rhythm of Bao’s purr. Now silence.”

  
  


//

  
  
  


When Ahri woke up _far_ too late in the day, she cursed a little. 

She rolled over to see KaiSa dead asleep in a weird perpendicular formation. 

While Ahri laid across the couch, Kai’Sa in an upright position was slouched. Her feet were propped on the coffee table, one arm tucked into the pockets of her sweater. But otherwise bundled up. 

From the heat of the room, they were the only ones in the living room. 

“Looks like my foxy fact was right.” Kai’Sa said in a mock astute tone, with one eye open. Her accent was deeper from the drawls of sleep and she tugged onto the pinky a little tighter. 

“Hmph.”

_Growl! Growl!_

Heat bloomed on Ahri’s cheeks. Did her stomach just really growl?

With shy eyes, Ahri meekly looked up to Kai’Sa to see nothing but a smile and fondness on her face. 

“It looks like around dinner time, let me go ahead and start making something for you. Any requests?”

“Your company.”

It was Kai’Sa’s turned to blush but she recovered smoothly. “Of course.”

“And some grilled...fish?”

  
  
Kai'Sa wide smile was enough to make Ahri's heart pound in happiness.  
  


//

  
  


**_February 12th, 2021_ **

**_First day, Zhengyue 1_ **

_On the first day, the oldest and most senior members will be visited. The visits serve to strengthen family ties. Bài nián refers to both; pay a New Year's call, as well as 'wishing somebody a Happy New Year'._

  
  


Kai’Sa looked forward to the future because with newfound confidence, she prepared for the Lunar Festival. 

Adjustments had to be made. 

Akali’s need for spicy food. Seraphine’s need for sweet and savory foods. Evelynn’s need for sticky rice. 

And of course, she needed to be mindful of Ahri’s sensitive stomach. 

That was a lot of people to feed and a lot of tastes that she hoped to cover with the traditional recipes that she had all laid out in front of her. Kai’Sa had to be a little careful though, she didn’t want to have too many leftovers by overdoing it - which was an earlier problem when K/DA was first made. 

Kai’Sa was surprised to see that the night before, Seraphine and Akali had offered themselves up for the day to clean to ward off evil spirits and to also help in the evening to create dishes for everyone to eat. 

The duo explained that they decided to take the day off from their respective songwriting to help her, “You already make three meals a day and today is about family! So let us help!”

Wiping a stray tear, she ushered them to quickly go wash their hands and put on aprons that were three times too big for the shorty duo. 

Trying to keep their giggles and ther chatter to a minimum, they worked quickly to create some dishes that blended a bit of everyone’s cultures. 

“I know for Japan, the New Year Festivities are over...but I wanted to combine it here, since I didn’t get to go home to see onee-san. She left me a spot at the table! So...I figured why not do that here too. Lou well it’s the first time that K/DA really gets to do the full she-bang! And ‘sides, Seraphine is here too, more reason to celebrate everyone’s heritage this time!”

Seraphine sniffed and said her thanks tearfully. She was grateful that she was kept in the circle. The holidays were a little rougher this year, especially being far away from home and then uprooting her career to establish a career collaboration of the lifetime. Her dad was still in China, celebrating with her other family members. Being here in Seoul, despite the distance, enjoying her life with her friends, felt like home too. It honestly warmed her heart.

“So, what should we start with first?”

“Gyoza!

“Xiao-Long Bao!”

Kai’Sa pulled out the dry ingredients and pulled up a recipe that she had bookmarked from her phone. 

“Well let’s see here…”

  
  
  
  


//

  
  


As much as she loved the younger duo, oh boy they do make quite a mess. How flour even managed to reach the ceiling was beyond her.

Either way, that could be dealt with later. 

The gyoza and xiao long baos were already prepped to be steamed and fried. 

There were two fish (sea bream and tuna) that had been prepped to be grilled, to be marinated with lemons and a variety of spices. The sea bream thankfully by itself was a tasty fish that could’ve been eaten as is, but Kai’Sa always wanted to elevate her dishes by just adding a touch more. She had made shallow cuts on the skin so the marinade of coriander, ginger, capsicum frutescens (that would surely make Akali very happy), shallots and mints would sink deep into its flesh. The tuna was a little bit more palatable with the addition of a little light lemon, light soy sauce, thyme and oregano. 

The hope was for it to be refreshing and filling at the same time, to clean out the toxins and negative energy from the past year and to hopefully bring prosperity and the warmth from the meal to bring happiness.

_‘So for now it’s just those two, perhaps tomorrow or later throughout the week, she’ll bring out the pot from the cellar so that everyone can have a real nice hot pot outside on the patio or roof.’_ Kai’Sa thought. 

“Sometimes I really do forget that you know how to keep tidy, considering how many ramen cups I have to carry out your room.” Kai’Sa commented, seeing how Akali effortlessly waxed the floor of the manor without breaking a sweat. 

“Just because my room is messy doesn’t mean I want the living spaces to be messy. I was in a dojo.” Akali said as she slid Bao down the hallway. The wax gave a slippery sheen to it. The cat meowed in delight before running back to the rapper's arms only to be pushed again. 

“You’re going to be doing that for awhile. Bao likes doing that in my old apartment.” Seraphine sighed as she pulled down her facemask to breathe again. She spent her time dusting off all the knick-knacks that were around the living room and dining room. 

The dancer wiped her forehead, hating that sometimes chores as easy as cleaning made her break a sweat. She turned to face the clock to see that it was nearly time for dinner. To think that food prep and cleaning took them the majority of the day. 

“Well go on and grab a shower, then tell Ahri and Evelynn to come down soon for dinner.” 

“Roger!”

  
  


//

Evelynn sniffed the air, smiling a little. 

“Whatever they’re making downstairs really does smell amazing.”

Ahri, who was nose down in a paper, mirrored the smile, “Hmm. It does. Do you have their envelopes ready?”

Evelynn reached into a lock drawer and pulled out four envelopes.

“Why four? Unless one is for Bao?” Ahri snickered at the thought of Bao’s envelope being filled with catnip or fish treats.

Evelynn rolled her eyes, “Sure.”

  
  
  


//

  
  


Ahri and Evelynn were surprised that they were greeted by their maknae duo, who showered them with a flurry of fake fake confetti, kisses and hugs. 

“新 年 快 乐!”

( _Xīn nián kuài lè!_ )

Evelynn took the affection with more warmth in comparison to her usual nonchalant air. She gave Akali a long kiss on the lips and tickled Seraphine’s sides before greeting Kai’Sa with a short tango. 

  
  


Kai'Sa, always graceful in her greeting, easily stepped into the rhythm of Evelynn’s fast steps. Dipping her playfully, she whispered her new year greeting into the succubus’s ear. 

Spinning her way back to Akali’s arms, Kai’Sa walked up to her leader and gave her a mega-watt smile. 

“Ahri, 新 年 快 乐.”

( _Xīn nián kuài lè!_ )

  
  


“新 年 快 乐.”

( _Xīn nián kuài lè!_ )

The gumiho replied easily as she was tugged by the arm by Seraphine to set the table, impressed with the work that trio had put into the food.

With everything plated and everyone seated, Evelynn pulled out a bottle of rice wine and poured it into the cups one by one. She hesitantly handed one to Kai’Sa, but was surprised to see that Kai’Sa lifted her glass to accept the drink with no apprehension. She took it gracefully, giving Evelynn a wink, “Just this once, and then no more for tonight.”

“Bokkie dear, I’ve saved that since before you were born, it’ll be a perfect last drink. ”  
  


They all knocked their glasses together, cheering as they did so. 

“阖 家 幸 福!”

( _Hé jiā xìng fú!_ )

After downing their drinks, everyone except for Evelynn and Ahri had pinkish glows on their cheeks and ears. 

“Wow, that felt so smooth.”

“And ooof, I’m feeling it now.”

Kai’Sa nodded, fanning her face, “Wow that’s so intense. And it’s still drinkable?” 

Her podlings took delight in the sudden change of chemicals in her blood. Instead of chirping, they floated lazily, letting out lazy purrs.

“I never settle for anything that is less to my standards dear.” Evelynn said, petting one of her podlings. “Alright. One last toast and then we can eat.”

She turned to Ahri, poured her another drink, golden eyes locking with amber. There was so much she could say, but the time that they spent together couldn’t always be translated into a speech. She looped their arms together, posed to do a cheesy love shot. Her gesture set Ahri in a fit of giggles.

“Are we seriously doing this?”

“Whatever Foxy…”

Akali coughed, “Gay!”

Evelynn glared at her lover who just gave her a kissy face. Turning to playful amber orbs, Evelynn’s usual smirk turned into something tender; latin words spilling freely from her lips as spoke.

“I’m blessed to have seen more sunrises and sunsets with you by my side. To another one, everyday of this year.”

Ahri gave her a watery smile, replying shakily, “To more sunrises and sunsets.”

After taking their drinks, it was finally, finally time to eat.

Kai’Sa served them all healthy portions to eat, filling Akali’s plate and bowl just shy over overflowing. What really made her heart pound with emotion, was when she saw Ahri give herself another spoonful of rice to her portion. She couldn’t hold back the small stream of tears.

“I’m a little more hungry today.” The gumiho admitted with a shy smile. “It does smell amazing. I can’t wait.”

//

  
  
  


When the dishes had been cleared and everyone - Akali and Seraphine - was half-dozing on the couch, Evelynn pulled out red envelopes, wagging it playfully in the air with both of her hands holding them. 

“Time for red envelopes!”

Speedily, the makane duo got in line. And then Evelynn tutted.

“I’m waiting…”

“Kai’Sa! Get over here!” Called Akali. 

Kai’Sa blinked, “Oh!”

Ahri laughed as she watched Kai’Sa getting dragged to wait in line for her red envelope, until there were four pairs of eyes staring at her with playful exasperation.

“What?”

“Ahri.”

_“What?”_

“That means you too, _dongsaengie._ ” Evelynn teased, sending her lasher to tug Ahri out of her seat.

“Arrasoyeo Evelynn- _unnie._ ”

  
  
  


//

  
  
  


They planned to light fireworks in the free space of their backyard at the stroke of midnight. 

Ahri and Bao both had ear mufflers on, as they watched the firecrackers pop against the dirty floor, from a safe distance away.

When the last firecracker went off, Ahri sighed in relief, until she saw Akali bringing in three really big fireworks from the doorway of the garage with Seraphine trailing behind her. Evelynn, who was eating yet another bao, rolled her eyes when she saw Kai’Sa keeping the fire extinguisher nearby just in case things went south. 

"Oh crap, I used the last bit of gas for the firecrackers..." Akali sighed, wiggling the empty lighter. "Yo Sera! Do we have another one in the bags?"

“Ah man! I think we don’t have another spare lighter!” Seraphine said as she searched through the paper bags. “Akali, I think we forgot to buy while we were out!”

“Why need anotherlight when we have Ahri?” Evelynn reasoned as she helped her lover adjust the fireworks on it’s stand.

“Wow...K/DA’s leader, visual and vocalist, reduced to a firestarter?” Ahri said dryly as she handed Bao off to Kai’Sa and walked over to the crouched pair. 

“You’re already hot anyways, might as well do something about it.” Akali dismissed as she readied the fireworks to be pointed away from the manor and the girls. 

Ahri rolled her eyes playfully. She really did love these small jabs between herself and the ‘Akalynn’ couple. 

“Alright! It’s ready to go! How close is midnight?”

“One minute!” 

They all gathered behind Ahri as she snapped her fingers to produce a blue flame at her fingertips.

“K/DA fighting!”

“MORE album fighting!”

“Seraphine fighting!”

“To good health!”

“To family!”

“To us!”

“新 年 快 乐!”

( _Xīn nián kuài lè!_ )

BANG! 

BANG! 

BANG!

  
  
  
  


//

  
**February 26th, 2021**   
  


_**Fifteenth day, Yuán Xiāo Jié** _

_The festival is associated with guiding lost and ill bred evil spirits home while celebrating and cultivating positive relationships between people, families, nature and the higher beings as they are believed to be responsible for bringing and returning the light each year._

  
  


**Fox Fact: Foxes surprisingly have a varied diet.**

**P.S >:c you should be eating more vegetables and not just grapefruits!**

  
  


Kai’Sa was surprised she didn’t hear the normal huff that came with her joking sticky notes. She turned around from her position over the cutting board to see Ahri looking a little pensive. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. This is not about the food thing...it’s just-”

Ahri shook her head, “It’s not like that at all...it just reminded me of something. Can we take a walk?”

The air suddenly felt a little heavy, this seemed like a conversation that couldn’t be put on hold. 

“Sure thing, let me put this on a low boil, put these buns in the steamer and text Evelynn that the stove is still on.”

  
  
  


//

  
  


Kai’Sa locked the door behind her, all bundled up in a sweater and beanie to keep her head warm. She breathed into her palms to feel some heat before stuffing it in her pockets as she fell into step with Ahri, who was leading the way. 

The ground was thankfully not slippery, but the wind had a bit of bite to it. Despite her earlier quip that Ahri was one who never seemed to sustain enough body heat, the gumiho was unbothered by the chilly air. 

This was really strange. 

They were quiet and Kai’Sa wasn’t sure how to bring up the topic again.

“Have you ever heard of resource competition Kai’Sa?” 

It had been 45 minutes since their walk had begun, and they had walked about two miles away from the manor, into a clearing that was within their property. 

“I just wanted to tell you something that is probably something you haven’t heard before. Something that you probably won’t find in _Top Ten Fox Facts._ ”

Ahri gestured for Kai’Sa to lean against the fence post. Ahri wrapped her arms around herself to fend off the cold - or maybe to hold herself together, drawing her red scarf tighter around her neck. 

“I'd forgotten this part of my past - that finally got brought up to my higher consciousness.”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Kai’Sa said, she wasn’t if now was the best time to talk about _this._ “I don’t want to make it seem that you owe me an explanation, we can wait on it. 

Ahri shook her head before cracking a grin. “Maybe this can help you know more about me...I have been meaning to tell you this for quite some time now. ”

“Ahri...” Her tone was serious. 

“There is a reason why I’m a little wary around food.”

Kai’Sa nodded, her feeting tapping against the fence post. “Does this have to do with being related to foxes?”

“Partly. First, as far as I know, I’m the last of my kind.”

It was as if the fire was snuffed out of Ahri’s golden eyes. Her shoulders drooped along with her ears and tail. 

“Before I get too side-tracked, they way I know is that there is no other person as of now, carrying the scent of a gumiho.”

“That’s...quite sad.” Kai’Sa said, unsure if those were the right words to say.

“It is. But there’s more to that. Evelynn is a succubus, she can procreate as easy as breathing. So, there will be others like her. However, I haven’t found another gumiho in a millenia.”

“What about your family?”

She could see the shaky puffs of air leave her lips, Ahri tilted her head so that she looked toward the grey skies; it was a little ironic that the weather would be so somber as she told her sad tale. “My father had died from being hunted. So I was raised alone for a while. But then my mother at some point had another litter on the way with another gumiho.”

“My mother was kind, but she was also cruel. I wasn’t coddled as much as my other siblings. I was barely groomed, much less fed.”

“But I loved them, they were still my kin. I’d die for them. That was my role, help feed and take care of my siblings. And then food became even more scarce. We started to feed closer to humans to prevent our family from dying out to starvation.”

Her breath hitched, the words coming out faster than she can take a breath. 

“But we got careless. There were too many of us to feed. And I got very, very hungry. Food wasn’t enough to sustain me, and I knew that I needed more. But I didn’t know what it would take for me to feel full.”

“So my mother charmed me.”

Ahri’s voice was hollow, while her eyes squeezed shut, hating how the sting of tears threatened to break the last grasp of her composure, “She charmed me to fight my brothers and sisters _for the right to eat._ ”

  
  


“What about your mother?” Kai’Sa asked hesitantly, almost afraid of the answer. 

“When I found out what I had done to Taemin, Taeyeon, and Taeyong...I killed her in a fit of rage.”

The air was still as the news was laid out in front of her. 

Ahri let out a shaky sob, her voice thick with repressed grief. “I don’t know how long I held this in for. _Ohgodohgod_.”

Kai’Sa left her perch to walk toward Ahri, but the gumiho stopped her approach. 

“I-I want to get this out. I-I’m almost done.”

She took another shaky breath, using her free hand to wipe away her tears with the ends of her scarf. “It was in anger that I realized that I had foxfire. I burned our family den to the ground. And then, I ran and was consumed in a blind fit of rage for I don’t know how long.”

“I was angry for years that I didn’t register how _lonely_ I was. It was by chance that I ran into Evelynn in Rome. Her scent was familiar, something that reminded me of my den. And right away I tried to befriend her, but it didn’t go so well.” 

Purple eyes blinked in realization - so that’s what Evelynn had meant. The succubus had turned Ahri away. Turned away from friendship, a new home. 

Ahri must’ve felt awful. The guilt that she thought that had put to rest came out like a tidal wave.

There was that parallel. Ahri had been turned away from someone she thought she could’ve called home. 

First, it was Evelynn. 

And now, it was Kai’Sa. 

“With Evelynn, I was slowly warming to the idea of hunting animals to just have something in my belly. It wasn’t like...it wasn’t like before.” 

“Anything that I ate tasted like ash and blood - animals, fruits, vegetables, all tasted the same. Food was tainted. But I ate because, that’s what was the easiest way to blend in, to stay _alive._ ”

“We parted ways and I was heartbroken. I’ve been lonely for so long, been hungry for so long. I told Evelynn that I’ve leveled towns and even kingdoms while we were apart.”

“Animals, humans eventually started to become palatable. But with every human at some point, I felt guilty doing so. For those I’ve killed, I’ve made burial markers for them. I’ve also carried the last vestiges of their memories with every liver I take, because flesh is the gateway to memories.” 

“Emotions and feelings, like blood, flow through the veins, and I can taste everything. Eventually, my head is filled with their thoughts and memories and it’s overwhelming.” 

Ahri gave Kai’Sa a sad smile, finally walking closer to the fence, joining Kai’Sa at her side. 

“The downside of being a demon, every sensation and feeling are heightened and they linger so deep that it’s hard to remember that there’s more emotions than just rage, despair and love.” 

“Anyways.”

“I don’t hunt for pleasure. I usually wait till I’m at the brink before I even consider attacking a helpless person just to sustain me. I can’t do that anymore.” 

She looked at Kai’Sa with gratitude. “You taught me that I shouldn’t wait to hit the brink for anything. The fault isn’t your cooking Kai’Sa. It’s quite the opposite. I can’t...help when I feel so low, I can’t stomach anything.”

  
  


//

  
  


Kai’Sa was stunned. Speechless. 

It took her awhile to gather her thoughts. Words couldn't come easily to mind. 

“Would it help you if I made you liver-dishes?”

Ahri smiled sadly.

“Doesn’t work like that I’m afraid. Believe me, I’ve tried. The pain of hunger passes, but I know I’m more vulnerable when I’m stressed or when I’m in my depressive moods…”

“Is there another way for you to feel okay during meals?”

Ahri had a misty smile. 

Letting her tail brush against Kai’Sa’s boot as a small nudge of reassurance. “Whatever you make for breakfast, lunch and dinner _does_ help me. I can taste the last lingering feelings with every dish. And yours...yours always carried the taste of love and family.”

Ears could hear the hitch in Kai’Sa’s breath. She could hear the pounding of her heart. 

“The two things I love more in this world; the love of my members and the work we put out in the world.” She faced Kai’Sa again, with her hands out to the dancer, so that their pinkies would loop together, “Why I’m telling you this is that I just would probably eat less when I’m feeling like this and...I might be having moments like this again.”

“Food...food is something that I know how to do. It’s what I’m good at.” Kai’Sa admitted, feeling sad, that there was a wrench in her plans. She thought her bit with the grapefruits and the slow growth of Ahri’s appetite was an indicator that they were on the right path. 

“To hear that it can only do so much, that I can’t help more...it’s hard to swallow.”

“You’ve already done enough for me. And this feeling will pass. I’ve been feeling stronger enough to eat more. I don’t feel as sickly. And that’s thanks to you - “

“There must be something more.”

Ahri pondered this. 

_What more could Kai’Sa possibly do?_

Her grip tightened around Kai’Sa. “Can you...trust...can you trust that I’ll find my way back to you…Be patient with me?” 

Kai’Sa swallowed. This happened before. Ahri asked for patience and understanding, and she ignored it. But not this time, Kai’Sa wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. 

“I trust you. And I’ll do my best to be patient with you.”

Ahri’s ears laid flat against her head, relieved. “Thank you Kai’Sa. Thank you.”

  
  


//

Kai’Sa waited for Ahri to gather her bearings. Afterall, there was a lot of news that was dropped in a short amount of time. So they stood there side by side, pinkies interlaced, watching the snowfall around them. 

It was only after Ahri gave a small shiver, that Kai’Sa realized that they had been out a lot longer than they should’ve been. 

“Shall we head back now?”

“Wait! Before we go back!”

Ahri bent down to sift through the snow and Kai’Sa had to bite back a laugh at how reminiscent she looked like a small pup that was excitedly looking for hidden treasure. No matter how much Ahri tried to hide her more animalistic traits, Kai’Sa was in love with them. 

Suddenly in her field of vision there was a palm and stone on top of it.

“This one looks really pretty. It’s white.”

Kai’Sa giggled as she traced the surface of the stone, “You always managed to sneak another one onto the shelf in the kitchen.”

Ahri shyly hid the stone behind her back, “Do you like them?”

“I do.” She says, before leaning down slightly to whisper just enough to be heard, “Let me pick one too then, for your desk.” 

Kai’Sa got to her knees, uncaring if her jeans got wet. She could always throw them in the wash later and warm up by the fireplace. She looked over the stones, making sure to put a stone back without disturbing too much of the flora that could be living underneath it. 

“No peeking!” She felt Ahri’s presence on her shoulder, “I’ll surprise you!”

Kai’Sa stuck her tongue out as she duck-walked to another section of snow, her hands digging for a suitable stone for Ahri to have on her desk. 

And then she found one. 

It was a little big, probably a little too big for Ahri to hold in one hand. When she turned over the stone, she saw that there was a crack in it. 

Her finger traced the lines. It wasn’t so big; maybe two or three inches long. And somehow, it seemed to make sense to her. 

The weight of the stone, the weight of her love, with the scar from all her traumas, bared out on the surface for Ahri to see. In all of it’s imperfections, it felt perfect. It felt right. 

She stood up and presented her stone to Ahri. The curve of her lip told Kai’Sa that maybe, just maybe Ahri understood her reasoning for it. 

Ahri exchanged the big stone for the white one and Kai’Sa loved just how perfect it felt in her palm. 

There was brief pause when the two of them ran their hands on their new stones that they couldn’t wait to add to their respective shelves. 

Kai’Sa laughed a little. This little white rock was just the right shade to easily blend with the snow. How could Ahri find this stone out of snow? She would never know. 

They already had too many somber thoughts today, or just for the year. She wanted the two of them to laugh again. 

She channeled her inner maknae, channeling whatever shenanigan that Akali was manifesting in the manor without her presence. 

“What if I chucked your stone into the snow?” She gave her best grin, arm cocked back. 

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Kai’Sa made a joking toss and then started to make a run for it back to the manor laughing all the while as Ahri in her nine-tailed fury chased after her. 

“I really wasn’t going to do it!” She yelled, hoping that her longer legs would be able to keep those claws from reaching her neck. 

“Kai’Sa!”

  
  


//

Kai’Sa probably got about 400 meters away from the manor before she had to stop to catch her breath. Ahri finally reached her, bending over slightly as she panted for air. 

The dancer presented the stone that she held with a tight grip to show her proof that she was teasing the poor gumiho. Ahri gave her an annoyed glare, having to hold the big stone in her two hands as she ran. 

“You know I _don’t_ like exercising.” Ahri complained when they finally caught their breath, agreeing to walk the rest of the way to the manor. 

Kai’Sa gave her leader a nudge, “Maybe, I can change your mind.”

Ahri snorted. The gumiho exercising? When pigs fly.

“Yeah, not happening.”

She walked on ahead, uncaring how smug Kai’Sa looked in that moment. Ahri was more than ready to curl up by the fireplace and to probably snag another bao before Evelynn ate it all. 

The thought of warmth licking at her toes and hands made her excited to go home. 

“Wait.”

Ahri turned around just short of turning the knob of the door to go back. The snowflakes dropped slowly from the sky, covering the two of them in a light coat of white. 

The way that their breaths were visible from the chilly air. The way that the dancer had a light flush on her cheeks. Whether it was from the cold or from their brief chase, Ahri thought she looked so precious. If her powers were attuned to the snow, she would freeze this moment here. 

Kai’Sa cautiously took Ahri’s hands and tried not to show her glee when Ahri didn’t pull away. She waited just in case. 

God, she had missed this. 

She thought of the kindness and affection that Ahri had shown her the past several weeks. 

She should take a page out of the gumiho’s playbook. 

She ran a thumb on the back of the hand to warm Ahri with her touch. To subtly show Ahri that she wouldn’t hurt her. 

Kai’Sa kept eyes on Ahri’s as she lifted them and softly pressed two kisses on top of her hand. 

Ahri blushed oh so _prettily._

“Thank you for telling me.” Kai’Sa whispered. 

The warmth that the pair felt was nothing short of bliss. 

  
  


//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I wasn’t supposed to make this long, but here we are. T^T
> 
> Asscanon #50
> 
> Ahri and Kai’Sa love to take long walks together. Sometimes they just talk quietly amongst themselves. Sometimes they just like holding hands the whole time. Just enjoying each other’s company. 
> 
> Asscanon #51
> 
> The “lines” because I don’t think I’ve done them before
> 
> \- Maknae-line: Akali, Seraphine and Kai’Sa
> 
> \- Angel-line: Kai’Sa and Ahri
> 
> \- Prankster-line: Evelynn, Akali and Seraphine
> 
> \- Unnie-line: Evelynn and Ahri
> 
> \- Fake-maknae: Akali, Ahri and Seraphine
> 
> Asscanon #52
> 
> Evelynn is a good masseuse - all those years of learning to work with her hands, have been quite useful. She just knows how to add the right amount of pressure. 
> 
> Her most frequent non-sacreligious visitor: Kai’Sa 
> 
> Her most frequent sacreligious visitor: Akali...obviously
> 
> Asscanon #53
> 
> Ahri and Evelynn have attempted to break glass with just their voices before. To hilarious results.
> 
> They sound like croaky frogs that had a bad coughing fit. “Oh my god...what the hell happened to your voices.”
> 
> Ahri in perfect sign language, “We don’t talk about it.”
> 
> Evelynn, also in perfect sign language, “Can you make us some hot tea?”
> 
> Akali and Seraphine proceed to spend the whole day trying to get a squeak out of them. Evelynn especially because she’s super ticklish.

**Author's Note:**

> Want updates or snippets from me?
> 
> Check out my Twitter @ninjajanjan :)


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